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Cherokee_Mountaincat
Mar 9, 2013, 4:40 PM
Dont shoot Me, I'm just the messenger! lol
Cat
Punography




I tried to catch some Fog. I mist.


When chemists die, they barium.


Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid.
He says he can stop any time.


How does Moses make his tea?
Hebrews it.


I stayed up all night to see where the sun went.
Then it dawned on me.

This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.


I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down.

I did a theatrical performance about puns.
It was a play on words.

They told me I had type A blood,
but it was a Type- O.


A dyslexic man walks into a bra.


PMS jokes aren't funny, period.

Why were the Indians here first?
They had reservations.


Class trip to the Coca-Cola factory.
I hope there's no pop quiz.

Energizer bunny arrested.
Charged with battery.

I didn't like my beard at first.
Then it grew on me.


How do you make holy water? Boil the hell out of it!


Did you hear about the cross eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?

When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.



What does a clock do when it's hungry?
It goes back four seconds.


I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger.
Then it hit me!


Broken pencils are pointless.


What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary?
A thesaurus.

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.


All the toilets in New York 's police stations have been stolen.
Police have nothing to go on.



I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.


Velcro - what a rip off!

Cartoonist found dead in home.
Details are sketchy.

Venison for dinner?
Oh deer!

Earthquake in Washington obviously government's fault.

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.


Be kind to your dentist.
He has fillings, too. :}

acscomps
Mar 10, 2013, 12:44 AM
Cat, you are my kind of woman. lol

pepperjack
Mar 10, 2013, 4:17 AM
Dont shoot Me, I'm just the messenger! lol
Cat
Punography




I tried to catch some Fog. I mist.


When chemists die, they barium.


Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid.
He says he can stop any time.


How does Moses make his tea?
Hebrews it.


I stayed up all night to see where the sun went.
Then it dawned on me.

This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.


I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down.

I did a theatrical performance about puns.
It was a play on words.

They told me I had type A blood,
but it was a Type- O.


A dyslexic man walks into a bra.


PMS jokes aren't funny, period.

Why were the Indians here first?
They had reservations.


Class trip to the Coca-Cola factory.
I hope there's no pop quiz.

Energizer bunny arrested.
Charged with battery.

I didn't like my beard at first.
Then it grew on me.


How do you make holy water? Boil the hell out of it!


Did you hear about the cross eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?

When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.



What does a clock do when it's hungry?
It goes back four seconds.


I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger.
Then it hit me!


Broken pencils are pointless.


What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary?
A thesaurus.

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.


All the toilets in New York 's police stations have been stolen.
Police have nothing to go on.



I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.


Velcro - what a rip off!

Cartoonist found dead in home.
Details are sketchy.

Venison for dinner?
Oh deer!

Earthquake in Washington obviously government's fault.

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.


Be kind to your dentist.
He has fillings, too. :}







I love these! They're so damned clever & funny!:smilies15

Realist
Mar 10, 2013, 8:12 AM
Those were good, Cat!

Here's one I just got:

One evening a man was at home watching TV and eating peanuts. He'd
toss them in the air, and then catch them in his mouth In the middle of
catching one, his wife asked him a question - and as he turned to answer
her, a peanut fell in his ear..

He tried and tried to dig it out but succeeded in only pushing it in
deeper. He called his wife for assistance, and after hours of trying they became worried and decided to go to the hospital.

As they were ready to go out the door, their daughter came home with
her date.

After being informed of the problem, their daughter's date said he
could get the peanut out. The young man told the father to sit down, then
proceeded to shove two fingers up the father's nose and told him to blow
hard. When the father blew, the peanut flew out of his ear.


The mother and daughter jumped and yelled for joy! The young man
insisted that it was nothing.

Once he was gone, the mother turned to the father and said, 'That's
so wonderful! Isn't he smart? What do you think he's going to be when he
grows older?



The father scowled as he replied, 'From the smell of his fingers, he's going to be our son-in-law!'

Cherokee_Mountaincat
Mar 12, 2013, 8:07 PM
LOL. Bad Boy. Gota my room...lol
Cat