Mythconception.....

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

I love how men think that just because a woman is sexually enlightened, and a sex loving Swinger that we are automatically available for sex. Well Darlings, I'm here to tell you that this is a Myth-conception. In the last couple of months I have have men contact me looking for "Drive By" sex. I get this "Hey Baby, gunna be in your area on business. I think we need to hook up and fuck" "Your hot cuz yer Bi. Wanna fuck?"
Now up to like 3 years ago, before all of the medical problems, I woulda said "Oh yeah? Think you can handle it? Bring it on, Bubba. I'll take ya on and Win"

I used to be into random sexual adventures and frequently took down "Prey" at play parties, and had worn out a couple here and there. (Hush Rich. Quit nodding and snickering) But I guess now in my old age, I have gotten quite picky about the people I play with. I guess with age comes wisdom after all. Just because I am a swinger doesnt mean I am into bed hopping, or into popping some stranger that comes along looking for a quick fling on a business trip. Sorry to burst that bubble Gentlemen. If you want to get to know me, fantastic. If there's any kind of sexual vibes, then I might consider mo'lesting you, but to just say "Oh sure, come on down"...it aint gunna happen.

If you want me, get to Know me. See the woman inside of the Minx First. Take me to dinner, TALK to me, see what I'm like.(There May be a little bit of intelligence underneath all of this hair) After that, if we like each other, I might suck your socks off up thru your cock. Or throw you back on my bed and make your eyes roll back in your head for a couple of hours. So get a clue, Gentlemen. Treat a woman like a lady First..you may have a grand adventure. Or not. Either way you win. You've treated her like a woman first, not just a random piece of conveinant ass.
Cat

[Coastocoast]

It is also interesting how some people cannot simply read and understand a profile. When a person clearly states what they are looking for and the messages start with offers in direct contrast to what is written or the picture hunters descend. I know not everyone is looking for the same thing as I am but when I see someone who is not I move along. Yes some of us would like to know the other person and that we are looking for the same things. It might be amusing if it did not happen as often as it does.

[tenni]

“I love how men think that just because a woman is sexually enlightened, and a sex loving Swinger that we are automatically available for sex. “


If this is between two men, does it alter the perspective? If a man is sexually enlightened(to be defined) and sex loving swinger is he automatically available for sex?
Well, imo, it would be an individual decision. At some points he may be willing to be available for sex and at other points he may not. Would he use sexually suggestive language? Many men will use sexually explicit language with other men and women who present themselves as sexually enlightened.


Does it matter whether the person being approached is a man or a woman?

No, not imo it doesn’t matter. More specifically if you present yourself as being sexually promiscuous that doesn’t mean that you are available for just anyone. Each person has their criteria. It may be connected to how horny they feel. How attractive they find the person approaching them. I’m sure that we all have our own lists.


I’ve read Cat’s profile. I suspect that it may be time to revise your profile dumpling ;)
You have been through some difficult times and maybe your profile is not quite what you want it to convey any more? I wonder if this line should be included from your post and put in your profile?


“If you want me, get to Know me.”

[elian]

I don't think there is anything wrong in recognizing that you have value and being selective about who you sleep with. I'm sure a lot of the people I meet think I'm either quaint or naive for wanting to have an emotional attachment to the person first. To put it bluntly, I want to know I can trust you as a human being BEFORE we screw around.

Even with "cyber" people seem to be inconsiderate .. I don't usually do that much anymore because number one my hands are either on the keyboard or they are on something else - they can't be on both at the same time and just about the time I thought the story was getting good I see this "disconnected" message from the other end ..grr..

Before I joined this board I tried a few chat groups on ICQ - one guy was from Egypt and he only knew two English words.. "fuk ass" - now I have to admire a gay person from Egypt communicating via chat since being gay is punishable by the death but needless to say it was a short conversation.

I'm not really into BSDM but I think Cat is beautiful lady, I can't really imagine writing, "Hey baby, I'm in town on business (so you're my secondary concern + I'm away from my wife and two kids) wanna fuck?" - and I certainly can't imagine that she wouldn't plant a boot up my ass if I ever DID write that.

That's almost as bad as the ads on craigslist, let's see **ahem** - "Renting motel room this weekend for anonymous unprotected sex with many, many partners - please bring your wallet *flush* with cash.. Ask for "sperm dumpster" at the front desk, also - please leave all your illegal weapons at home...I'll be waiting xoxoxo"

Of course the other place people used to have gay sex was in the public bathroom - oh I just love getting off with a puddle of third party urine below me and shit stains on the walls. .not to mention that anyone, including kids - could walk in at any time. .bad idea.

I suppose I have a sort of pragmatic view of hook ups - I hate having to feel like I am sneaking around just to enjoy sex. I guess that's why my bed is empty most of the time, oh well - I guess there are worse things.

I am glad we are fighting for equal rights, maybe some day LGBT people will be able to have relationships that valued as much as straight relationships and we finally won't have to hide. That was the worst part of having those feelings growing up; I couldn't tell 50% of the people I was attracted to that I thought they were beautiful.

[tenni]

Elian
What you are posting as your own choice is no where near what Cat's profile states and what I see as the issue.

You are attempting to bring your "oranges" perspective to an "apple" swing fest approach. However, yes some of what you infer is true regardless of how promiscuous a person choses to be. If someone uses crude language and you are presenting yourself as promiscuous, then you make a decision but you shouldn't be shocked unless you have made your position clear at the start. There is nothing wrong with renting a motel room and if you are reading Craigslist or posting on Craig's list people do post their boundaries very clearly. "Straight" people can be just as promiscuous, vulgar and up front with their sexual interests as bisexuals and gay people. This is less a sexuality issue as a "lifestyle" issue.

[Meliss]

I on the other hand have only had sex with people I have known rather well first. At times I wonder if that says more about how I value people or possibly my sex drive and appeal. Not that I haven't had some on sight seen offers for sex but if all the bravado is true for some that seems to be the rule rather than the exception. I seldom go to bars or private parties so this likely has limited my circulation as has working alone my adult life limited coworker interactions.

I do see a correlation with my presumed value based on my appearance with the offerings and interest level. Losing weight , firming up, and feeling great about myself has really helped.

Maybe this is wierd but since I tend towards serial monogomy I like to have friends where there is some interest. Maybe I am shallow but interest show helps me control that jealousy monster since I think I could find another person to value me should I be blindsided in any current relationship.

That said at least for me if there is not some friendship and interaction, nothing else will likely happen either. Online playing and mutual release sure, but not much more..

[elian]

I understand that some people like to have sex with multiple partners, if it sounds like I am making a judgement against Cat that wasn't my intention.. I know that not everyone will agree with my opinion and I don't expect them to.

I have a lot of concern over anonymous sex and people having to hide their sexuality. I would much rather people be able to "express themselves" openly with a trusted group of friends but I know that is not really how the world works.

What does it say about me, that I can't trust someone who looks friendly just to have a good time? It's not really a part of my personality I am enamored with but it is who I am for now until I get enough experience to show me that people you don't really know can be trusted when you are doing one of the most intimate things you can do with a stranger.

Other people might not have those hang-ups and if they want to feel good I'm happy for them, it's not really any of my business. By discussing the issue here I was just hoping I might learn something. We ARE social creatures, I find not being able to trust people is painful.

If my response was inappropriate or I offended anyone I apologize.

[tenni]

"I have a lot of concern over anonymous sex"

Then don't do it...add "for me" if you don't want to come across as judgmental. You are a sweet soul and may just be over your head experience wise on this issue. Its not for you is what you are writing isn't it?

[Iowason]

I don't think that everyone here is looking for a sexual partner. Although I believe many are, some people are here for information about bisexuality. Personally I come here for both...

[elian]

I found myself identifying with what Cat wrote, that is why I responded to the thread to start with. Yes, I was speaking from my own personal experience, that is all that I know. I can't presume to know anyone else's experience but my own.

[bottom's up]

dayum kat now you say thatguess i have to cancel that flight to washington

[darkeyes]

When I was in my late teens I overheard a gang of lads discussing a couple of right goers at a party... expressions from "they r nebodies" "Do ne thing with ne1" to "sluts" and "whores" were bandied around... I finally had enuff when one mentioned that all he did was to "tap on her shoulder at the Cav" (the Cavendish being a local night club in this fair city) and I had the night of my life, but she is a hoor (whore in the local dialect) and so I'll no be goin' there again". I had heard the name of this strumpet... and so I marched over to this bunch of arseholes and faced chummy down... and asked him more or less..."please.. refresh my memory.. just when did u and I fuck? I have no memory of such an event". I did have memory of 1ce telling him where to go for putting his hands where they weren't wanted and slobbering over my face unasked for and unappreciated...and being very persistent in doing so... I also have memory of the words I used when telling where to fuck off to... and duly reminded him and informed his stupid m8s...

Most guys are not like that but even to this day too many are, Cat.. and all we can do is to slap them down and make them aware that if they want inside our knickers a little more niceness and a little less macho sexist arrogance might not go amiss... even sluts have standards...

[Gearbox]

I'm a slut, and I have standards.lolBut even so, if I want to shag someone and they want me to shag them too, I don't think 'value' comes into it! We just want a shag, and NOT a candlelight supper where our deepest feelings are shared. Nope! THAT would be reserved for those who have a mutual honest desire for us to know each other (not just in the Biblical sense). BUT just having a good shag devalues nobody! Not unless we care to judge 'value' by such dire means.

[hasty1]

I've just looked at Cat's profile, and I think it makes it quite clear she's looking for people who are capable of doing more than having sex. Discussions and sharing ideas are mentioned and it seems clear to me that Cat is looking for a playmate situation that includes sex. It doesn't say she will be a booty call for anyone who happens to be in the area. I do note that although Cat is bi she directed this at men, so is it only guys that have this reaction to a sexually open woman? I'd be interested to know.

There's nothing wrong with a great sexual experience that is simply a sexual experience, and for me (in the past) that has meant some great and exciting sex, but there's nothing wrong with saying that you'd like something different, and people should take you at your word.

[darkeyes]

I'm a slut, and I have standards.lolBut even so, if I want to shag someone and they want me to shag them too, I don't think 'value' comes into it! We just want a shag, and NOT a candlelight supper where our deepest feelings are shared. Nope! THAT would be reserved for those who have a mutual honest desire for us to know each other (not just in the Biblical sense). BUT just having a good shag devalues nobody! Not unless we care to judge 'value' by such dire means.
But me luffly.. u have 2 fancy and wanna shag the person.. not just drop the knickers cos he feels like givin ya 1! Even sluts r choosy... pity a lotta guys don't get it (not that ne get it from me ever but that's another issue..:cutelaugh:impleased!!)

[Gearbox]

Yes there's got to be at least some attraction, or the sex is terrible.lol SOME men do think that the attraction only needs to be one way. But so do SOME women too. It's def not a male thing, it's just that men make more 'offers'. There's also a stigma attached to men who WON'T shag a woman when she offers. It's viewed as a deflation on machismo, coz yu know, men are suposed to be sexually 'ready to go' at all times with their sexual prowess. If a lady (halfway attractive) drops her draws for a man, he is obligated to 'have at it'. Or be considered 'less of a man'. No mutual attraction or 'value' is in play there. Us males need to take to the streets and burn our jockstraps at this outragious treatment.LOL

[jamieknyc]

but she is a hoor (whore in the local dialect) .
You remind me of Kipling's wonderful story Bread Upon the Waters.

[elian]

and NOT a candlelight supper

Aww - I would've loved to have supper with you..

Talking of shag..


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJGksvSzXzs

[void()]

I love how men think that just because a woman is sexually enlightened, and a sex loving Swinger that we are automatically available for sex. Well Darlings, I'm here to tell you that this is a Myth-conception. In the last couple of months I have have men contact me looking for "Drive By" sex. I get this "Hey Baby, gunna be in your area on business. I think we need to hook up and fuck" "Your hot cuz yer Bi. Wanna fuck?"
Now up to like 3 years ago, before all of the medical problems, I woulda said "Oh yeah? Think you can handle it? Bring it on, Bubba. I'll take ya on and Win"

I used to be into random sexual adventures and frequently took down "Prey" at play parties, and had worn out a couple here and there. (Hush Rich. Quit nodding and snickering) But I guess now in my old age, I have gotten quite picky about the people I play with. I guess with age comes wisdom after all. Just because I am a swinger doesnt mean I am into bed hopping, or into popping some stranger that comes along looking for a quick fling on a business trip. Sorry to burst that bubble Gentlemen. If you want to get to know me, fantastic. If there's any kind of sexual vibes, then I might consider mo'lesting you, but to just say "Oh sure, come on down"...it aint gunna happen.

If you want me, get to Know me. See the woman inside of the Minx First. Take me to dinner, TALK to me, see what I'm like.(There May be a little bit of intelligence underneath all of this hair) After that, if we like each other, I might suck your socks off up thru your cock. Or throw you back on my bed and make your eyes roll back in your head for a couple of hours. So get a clue, Gentlemen. Treat a woman like a lady First..you may have a grand adventure. Or not. Either way you win. You've treated her like a woman first, not just a random piece of conveinant ass.
Cat

Wow. Nice knowing I'm not alone in such thinking, feelings. Elian and me talked off and on here at the site for about
two years before deciding to meet in the flesh. He was keen upon getting to know me and I felt the same regarding him.

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

NoNo, Bottoms, you hang on to that ticket, Sweetheart, E too. ;):love87:
And no, it doesnt say "Quick, easy, lay for businessmen passing thru my town" on my profile. I'm wwaaay too selective for that. Being a Swinger doesnt mean I'm up for romping just Anybody. Thats another Swing Mythconception. And it doesnt mean "Multipal" partners, either. Swinging doesnt necessarily mean orgies, or several partners at once..:} With single people, it means going to a party or gather, and if upon finding someone attractive, you can go play if all parties are up for it. Its not always a puppy-pile or a snake snarl. lol
And yes, Tenni-Dumpling, it Is time to update my profile, but I thought it was pretty straight-forward and clear. But people will see whatever they Want to see..:}
Cat, nobuddy's Booty Call, unless'n I want to be...lol

[Gearbox]

@Elian- Your def on my guestlist. You're (IN FACT) the only bloke around (excluding hetero's) that I think could manage NOT going all the way 5secs after desert. Which I do admire btw. Would make a nice change. I wanna be classy like Cat. Bless her.xx

[elian]

Oh my, I do love dessert .. I always figured that if the computer support gig didn't work out I could try a lucrative career as a door-to-door whipped cream salesman. :)

[Gearbox]

As good as you may be in the computer industry Elian, you'd be great in whipped cream. Trust me! I know these things.

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

LOL TY Gear. Muahs!
Laughing Cat

[wanderingrichard]

Ahhh, my old friend, i see you were picking on me again when i couldn't defend mice elf with protests muffled by my partners yummy parts.... :love87:

you've got it right, again, like normal... still too many who do not take the time to read, still too many who only think with the lower body part they lead with....

Off to see the wizards at your the local chapter of your old employer soon.. i may soon be in need of a wheelchair van... :yikes2: which means i'd only be able to fuck up , not down, next time we meet.....

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Owch. Hope not Darlin...on the van that is. And thats ok. If K keeps you occupied when I'm picking on you, its all good..:}
Hugz Dear friend
Cat

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

PS for Rich..Well..if you have to "Lay there and take it" and be mo'lested, it wouldnt be the first time would it, Darlin! ...lol
Grinning Cat