Bi feeling comes and goes.....

[hornytampaboy22]

Hey guys whats up......new to the site and venturing out there to see what others think! My situation is that if I havent gotten any in a while i get the urge to fool around with a guy and his package!!! I am not into the kissing and hugging and cuddling but more to getting straight to work and feeling the throbbing!!! But i have noticed when I do this and the stickieness has happen, I tend to straighten up and no longer attracted to the scene and what to leave as soon as possible and will go several weeks to months with not thinking about it again! Does this happen to anyone else? WHat does this mean?? I would def like to hear from others and chat with some people!

[Realist]

Welcome to the site HB.

Yep, this subject's been discussed many times on Bi.com! Many here, have experienced the same feelings with your same-gender attractions, too. Some prefer relationships before sex, but with others it's all about gentiles, getting off, getting someone else off, then moving on. There's many different methods and goals for different folks.

I call it the "Pendulum Syndrome". I think almost everyone's emotional and sexual pendulum will swing back and forth. You'll find many references in the archives.

[amida27]

The same thing happens to me. I haven't acted on it yet but usually when the urge strikes I jerk off and suddenly I'm not interested in guys.

[tenni]

This happens to a lot of guys. Has it happened to you with a woman? If it has compare your reactions.

As Realist points out, you may be approaching sex with men as a physical urge and once it is released, it is over until the sexual tension builds up again to a point that you "need" cock. You may be having sex but not making love in the sense of emotional attachment with the other guy. That's ok but you may need to learn to relax a bit more. Even "liking" the other guy as a dude might improve the reaction and still be cock focused. You don't have to "love" him to enjoy it better. Guilt often plays a role. You may not be comfortable with your same sex urges and inside feel that to have sex with a man is wrong. It may be learning to accept yourself more. If you learn to accept this part of you, try going back for a second time with the same guy(if you tend not to). It may be a matter of relaxing and on going can make that improve. The more that you get to know your sex bud reactions to touch etc. the more relaxed and better the feeling might become when you do orgasm. A lot of guys have the urge to flee after very casual uninvolved sex even with an on going sex bud too but recognize it and accept it.

[fredtyg]

As others have said, this is VERY common. I felt exactly the same way when I was your age. I suspect this is more of a "problem" with younger guys than older. I refer to it as a problem because along with the loss of interest after orgasm, I'd also get a sense of guilt for what I'd done or been thinking, even after just jacking off thinking about guys.

As guys get older they seem to get a better sense of their sexuality and become more comfortable with it. That's why you see so many guys in the 40s, 50s and older coming to terms with, and accepting, their sexual attraction to men.

[hornytampaboy22]

Well im glad im not the only one lol ;)
Tenni- NO does not happen with women at all....i can go multiple rounds with them! I def think its a physical urge bc as soon as were done i go back to craving women and wont think about it for couple weeks to months!! Also, i think bc there is no attraction or feelings theres no need to stick around!! Just wish I could find someone that was a consistant FWB when needed!! ;)

[Oldroughrider]

I agree with tenni and fredtyg. Especially with what fredtyg said about more mature males. Also agree that a bud on bud relationship, in other words friend with benefits makes a big difference.

[querty]

Yup - same here HB - and I like the pendulum syndrome tag..... especially early on I'd ramp up and ramp up with the urge for cock play and then a I'd jerk off and 'poof', back to girls. As time has gone along and have been able to fulfill some fantasies with the real thing, the desire has leveled out. I guess to the point of someone above, I'm much more comfortable with my bi-side....So now I think about it only somewhat less than women, and there's not the same urgency to satisfy the desires. One difference perhaps, is all my bi-action has been with both a girl and a guy. I've not done the 1:1 with a guy yet.

On a different note, I was never interested in trying anal.....that is changing and I find myself thinking about it alot. I know for sure I'll be giving it a try.

[Bisexual MMale]

I had the same problem, in the beginning. It was the wife that wanted me to try it at least once. WELL, years later and 3 under my belt achievements. I found that it was the act itself that got me hard and wanting it, when i released my load. I got it out of my system and moved on. Then it came back again, the urges.......after clearing my mind on all this and actually exploring the feelings and urges and all the acts and thoughts. I found that I let myself go and relaxed while playing with myself and toys. I found that I loved the feeling more and more. Also found out that, when I got hit on at a store. I found myself getting hard and excited and well browsed the web and actually looked at pics of naked guys. WOW, was I amazed that I grew hard without even thinking bout it, just the vision of his hardness got me going. ANYWAY, its all on the urge and the act itself that gets most guys wanting to do it. The sex act not the relationships or making out and stuff.

[NjbiGuy01]

My feelings for men do come and go. I have a local massage guy who does a great job, he tops me and we have fun. I see him a few times a year (3 or 4 times). I don't always have the spare cash, and although I enjoy it, I still wish it was a male friend wanting the same thing I do, and not for money...We've discussed adding sucking to the mix eventually, which is exciting. While a MFM brings me the most pleasure, I do feel like I would really like a steady man friend since finding normal/compatible couples can be diffcult. It would be great to be able to go out for a few beers and then end up playing a little bit with a guy and/or a MM or MF couple.... I do go in waves. A few days back, I took a shower and really enjoyed a rubber cock in my ass as a jerked and lathered, although the real thing for me is best...but sometimes I go months without really thinking about it...:impleased

[myschyfnmayhem]

Same here. I can go weeks without a Bi thought then it's like I'm in heat! Not into the cuddly scene just sex. It can be hard for masculine bottoms to get what they need without all the drama an encounter with a gay top can bring.