Cherokee_Mountaincat
Jan 2, 2013, 7:31 PM
Ireally had to share this with ya'll....And like Bill Engvall says, “Truth is stranger than fiction. You cant Make this shit up” Sameway with me...sigh.
Afew days before Christmas, I'm grocery shopping and decided to plopin the Fred Meyers eatery to grab a snack and await the bus.
I'mminding my own business, looking at my shopping list and the goodiesin my cart, peacefully munching on a fruit pie. Across from me is oneof the Homeless Vets that I see in there on Fridays. That's whenFreddie's give out a bowl of soup and half a sandwich to people whoare homeless. He was reading the paper and minding his own businesstoo, eating his lunch and sipping hot coffee. We had spoken before,and have a nodding aquaintance only. I did buy him a hot chocolateor two now and then, but I try to not get too friendly with folks.
AsI'm sitting there I see an elderly couple come in, but I really didntpay them much mind; I'm more concerned with making sure I haveeverything that I wanted on my list. Next thing I know, that littleold lady is standing in front of my table saying loudly,
“Yououghta be Ashamed of yourself! Woman with breasts as big as yoursshouldnt be flaunting them around for the whole world to see! Dontyou look at yourself in the mirror every morning??”
Ilook up at her, slightly startled not realizing that she's talking toMe at first. I almost looked behind me to see who the hell she'stalking to.
Shecontinuted on for a second: “Women like you should all wear TurtleNeck sweaters, so no part of your brazen flesh is visible andshowing. I think that is totally disgusting!”
Ilooked at her hubby, who was mouthing, “I'm sorry, I'm sorry!”over and over again. Very apologetic.
Ilooked down and noticed that an inch of cleavage was showing from theTop part of my shirt.. (These things are a 48E, they arent thateasily concealable, Ya'll.)
BeforeI had a chance to say anything or get pissed, the Vet behind hersaid, “ExCuse me? That's a very kind and respectable Lady, herboobs never done nuthin' to you! Why are you busting her chops?”
Thelady, who is about 4 foot 10, looked at him and stated “Breasts inpublic are an abomination, and should be put a stop to! But I wouldntexpect a miscrent like you to object to such things”
Vetsays, “Lady, what's a matter with you? If women like her wanna showoff their breasts, its their God given Right to do so. Shes got hugebeautiful boobies, she oughta be Proud of em! And be free to show 'emoff any damn time she wants to!'
Helooked at her hubby and says, “You got sumpthin to say?”
Hubshook his head slowly and replies “No, I totally agree with you.All the way around” which earned him a scathing look from thelittle old lady. She socked him on the arm and returned her glare tothe Vet, who had stood up to look down at Little Old lady now.
I'mStunned. For the first time in my life I was feeling slightlyself-conscious over the size of my upper frontals. All I can do issit there and listen to this stuff, jaw slightly dropped. I look tomy right, and there are three Fred Meyer's employees, One is asstunned as I am, one is trying to hide her laughter behind her hand,and the young man is grinning openly. All I can think of is “Ohshit. I'm gunna get throw'd out of Fred Meyers for inciting a riotthat I had no part in!
LittleOld Lady looked up at the Vet and goes, “And what would You knowabout Freedoms? Big women like her shouldnt be allowed out in publicunless they are completely covered. Its not right that they tempt ourhusbands and sons that way. I suppose you support women that looklike this? Ones that have no dignity or morals, so they think itsperfectly Fine to show their bodies like a wonton Harlot.”
Mytongue decided to react before my brain could catch up to it. Iexclaimed, “Hey! I'm not a harlot! I'm a Hussy, Got-dammit!”
Neitherheard me, but the lady beside me almost spit her food clear acrossthe table, and I thought the young man was going to roll out of hischair. About then Vet got his back up and started in.
“Lady,i'll have you know that I am a Disabled American Veterans and IFought for freedom for Everybody in my country, and I fought forboobies like those! I fought and got hurt for my country so that fineladies like this could have the freedoms to show off their prettyparts if they want to, and you nor nobody else should have the rightto put somebody down on how they look or how big and beautiful theirboobbies are!”
Heturned to me, clicked his heels, and snapped me a very tight salutewith his right hand, and said, “Ma'am, I salute you and the flagyou wear on your chest. God bless you!!!” and went back to arguingwith LOL.
Thosetwo stood toe to toe, and I feared it was gunna come to blows! Shewas talking about God, and he was talking about America. And theywere both talking over one another. It sounded like the tower ofBabble..
Hubjust stood there looking helpless and very chargrined, because peoplewere stopping from their shopping to turn and stare in the directionof the eatery now....
Ifigured at that point that discretion was the better part of valor,and it was time for me to get my ample ass Out of there. Whensomeone saluted by breasts, it was time to go. I stood quietly, putmy purse and list into my cart, and moved out slowly. I got close toHub who stepped over to place a hand on my shoulder and whispered.“I'm so sorry Miss. Merry Christmas to you.”
Ichuckled and replied “Merry Christmas to you too, Sir”
Imoved off slowly, trying to not attract any attention to myself, andlet them standing there continuing with their TittyTirade and mademyself scarce.
Needlessto say, I'm not going back into Fred Meyer's eatery for a long timeeven tho several of my girls wanna go back in there for lunch wearingvery low cut shirts sometime....
TLK2012..
Afew days before Christmas, I'm grocery shopping and decided to plopin the Fred Meyers eatery to grab a snack and await the bus.
I'mminding my own business, looking at my shopping list and the goodiesin my cart, peacefully munching on a fruit pie. Across from me is oneof the Homeless Vets that I see in there on Fridays. That's whenFreddie's give out a bowl of soup and half a sandwich to people whoare homeless. He was reading the paper and minding his own businesstoo, eating his lunch and sipping hot coffee. We had spoken before,and have a nodding aquaintance only. I did buy him a hot chocolateor two now and then, but I try to not get too friendly with folks.
AsI'm sitting there I see an elderly couple come in, but I really didntpay them much mind; I'm more concerned with making sure I haveeverything that I wanted on my list. Next thing I know, that littleold lady is standing in front of my table saying loudly,
“Yououghta be Ashamed of yourself! Woman with breasts as big as yoursshouldnt be flaunting them around for the whole world to see! Dontyou look at yourself in the mirror every morning??”
Ilook up at her, slightly startled not realizing that she's talking toMe at first. I almost looked behind me to see who the hell she'stalking to.
Shecontinuted on for a second: “Women like you should all wear TurtleNeck sweaters, so no part of your brazen flesh is visible andshowing. I think that is totally disgusting!”
Ilooked at her hubby, who was mouthing, “I'm sorry, I'm sorry!”over and over again. Very apologetic.
Ilooked down and noticed that an inch of cleavage was showing from theTop part of my shirt.. (These things are a 48E, they arent thateasily concealable, Ya'll.)
BeforeI had a chance to say anything or get pissed, the Vet behind hersaid, “ExCuse me? That's a very kind and respectable Lady, herboobs never done nuthin' to you! Why are you busting her chops?”
Thelady, who is about 4 foot 10, looked at him and stated “Breasts inpublic are an abomination, and should be put a stop to! But I wouldntexpect a miscrent like you to object to such things”
Vetsays, “Lady, what's a matter with you? If women like her wanna showoff their breasts, its their God given Right to do so. Shes got hugebeautiful boobies, she oughta be Proud of em! And be free to show 'emoff any damn time she wants to!'
Helooked at her hubby and says, “You got sumpthin to say?”
Hubshook his head slowly and replies “No, I totally agree with you.All the way around” which earned him a scathing look from thelittle old lady. She socked him on the arm and returned her glare tothe Vet, who had stood up to look down at Little Old lady now.
I'mStunned. For the first time in my life I was feeling slightlyself-conscious over the size of my upper frontals. All I can do issit there and listen to this stuff, jaw slightly dropped. I look tomy right, and there are three Fred Meyer's employees, One is asstunned as I am, one is trying to hide her laughter behind her hand,and the young man is grinning openly. All I can think of is “Ohshit. I'm gunna get throw'd out of Fred Meyers for inciting a riotthat I had no part in!
LittleOld Lady looked up at the Vet and goes, “And what would You knowabout Freedoms? Big women like her shouldnt be allowed out in publicunless they are completely covered. Its not right that they tempt ourhusbands and sons that way. I suppose you support women that looklike this? Ones that have no dignity or morals, so they think itsperfectly Fine to show their bodies like a wonton Harlot.”
Mytongue decided to react before my brain could catch up to it. Iexclaimed, “Hey! I'm not a harlot! I'm a Hussy, Got-dammit!”
Neitherheard me, but the lady beside me almost spit her food clear acrossthe table, and I thought the young man was going to roll out of hischair. About then Vet got his back up and started in.
“Lady,i'll have you know that I am a Disabled American Veterans and IFought for freedom for Everybody in my country, and I fought forboobies like those! I fought and got hurt for my country so that fineladies like this could have the freedoms to show off their prettyparts if they want to, and you nor nobody else should have the rightto put somebody down on how they look or how big and beautiful theirboobbies are!”
Heturned to me, clicked his heels, and snapped me a very tight salutewith his right hand, and said, “Ma'am, I salute you and the flagyou wear on your chest. God bless you!!!” and went back to arguingwith LOL.
Thosetwo stood toe to toe, and I feared it was gunna come to blows! Shewas talking about God, and he was talking about America. And theywere both talking over one another. It sounded like the tower ofBabble..
Hubjust stood there looking helpless and very chargrined, because peoplewere stopping from their shopping to turn and stare in the directionof the eatery now....
Ifigured at that point that discretion was the better part of valor,and it was time for me to get my ample ass Out of there. Whensomeone saluted by breasts, it was time to go. I stood quietly, putmy purse and list into my cart, and moved out slowly. I got close toHub who stepped over to place a hand on my shoulder and whispered.“I'm so sorry Miss. Merry Christmas to you.”
Ichuckled and replied “Merry Christmas to you too, Sir”
Imoved off slowly, trying to not attract any attention to myself, andlet them standing there continuing with their TittyTirade and mademyself scarce.
Needlessto say, I'm not going back into Fred Meyer's eatery for a long timeeven tho several of my girls wanna go back in there for lunch wearingvery low cut shirts sometime....
TLK2012..