We are new to this. is it okay?

[Grl4Her]

Some background. My wife and I have been married for almost 5 years. 2 wonderful babies 2 and 4. We love each other very much and we are very honest and forthcoming. I have had a 4some with her and 2 of her gfs b4 but we didnt set rules and it turned out not so good (she ended up getting upset with me). forward 6 years later. My wife tells me she really wants to sleep and be with a women. She wants 1on1 intimate sex sessions with hot girls/women and sometimes with me but i am not allowed to touch the other women just me pleasing her. which i am perfectly fine with. I thought about it for a couple of days and agreed. now shes like a mad crazy girl looking for other girls and i have become her wing man so to speak. hence joining this site but after reading it seems this site is also great for understanding all this stuff which is way new to me. My question is this normal (well what is normal anyways but you know what i mean)? will our relationship still be as strong as it was? or get stronger? i told her i dont want her with any other men. thats the main rule. some insight would be great. thanks in advance. btw my wife is SMOKING!

[onewhocares]

Hi wingman,

Since I am the straight spouse of the couple, I have limited experiance. I think the MOST important thing is communication. I would see what each of you has as expectations, and set ground rules from there. For some couples, an experiance of sharing another person can bring the couple together. Keeping in mind that you must keep your marriage as the primary relationship. Good luck.
Belle in Boston

[bisexualman1980]

I agree that communication is the key. As long as you and she set ground rules that you BOTH agree to, you should be fine. Just make sure that she doesn't steam-roll over what you are comfortable with in her zest to find a playmate. I agree that you need to make sure your primarily relationship is kept intact as you add other lovers. Talk about anything that bothers you. Don't let things bottle up because it will ruin everything. Honesty is the only way to overcome jealousy. Check out Opening Up or the Ethical Slut (both books) for more ideas on how to make this work for both of you. Just curious, but do you want another lover as well? Do you want something out of this arrangement besides watching an pleasuring your wife?

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

The 3 C's work best. Communication, Coordinating well ahead of time, and Care. Make a proper game plan and stick to it.
Good Luck Loves.
Cat

[Grl4Her]

I agree that communication is the key. As long as you and she set ground rules that you BOTH agree to, you should be fine. Just make sure that she doesn't steam-roll over what you are comfortable with in her zest to find a playmate. I agree that you need to make sure your primarily relationship is kept intact as you add other lovers. Talk about anything that bothers you. Don't let things bottle up because it will ruin everything. Honesty is the only way to overcome jealousy. Check out Opening Up or the Ethical Slut (both books) for more ideas on how to make this work for both of you. Just curious, but do you want another lover as well? Do you want something out of this arrangement besides watching an pleasuring your wife?

Honestly I didnt bring it up but she said i could sleep with other women as long as i follow all her rules. I guess thats cool but I would feel weird without my wife. One of the rules is it cant be in front of her. Since i been with her i havent been with any other. I guess its a good pass to have in my back pocket if i was ever put in a situation like that. But i am not actively looking for women to sleep with just because she says its okay. My wife is Beautiful and ammazing in bed. We have such a great connection. I just never really wanted any other. The thought of pleasing her with another women is what i really want.

"Just make sure that she doesn't steam-roll over what you are comfortable with in her zest to find a playmate."
one of the things i worry...

Great advice onewhocares thank you!

Cherokee didnt think about a game plan! thanks.

[bisexualman1980]

Honestly I didnt bring it up but she said i could sleep with other women as long as i follow all her rules. I guess thats cool but I would feel weird without my wife. One of the rules is it cant be in front of her. Since i been with her i havent been with any other. I guess its a good pass to have in my back pocket if i was ever put in a situation like that. But i am not actively looking for women to sleep with just because she says its okay. My wife is Beautiful and ammazing in bed. We have such a great connection. I just never really wanted any other. The thought of pleasing her with another women is what i really want.

I think it's totally okay to not want someone yourself. I think my wife is that way. I'm pretty sure that if/hopefully when we open up our relationship a bit, she isn't really going to want another guy to have sex with. It's just not the kind of person she is, but I definitely wouldn't deny her that opportunity if she wants it. Don't feel like you have to be having sex with someone else too though. These things aren't a scorecard where you have to be even or something. You just both have to be happy. Good luck!

[Gearbox]

It sounds pretty awkward not being allowed to interact with the 'other woman'. Your wife is probably wanting to enjoy both of you and not have that nasty green eyed monster interfere with it all.
BUT you may find that her comfort level will gradualy rise with each 3some you experience. Eventualy the roles of 'pleaser' may switch and the one to recieve the adoration will be the 'other woman' or you instead of your wife. The roles may naturaly switch in the heat of the moment.

Just go along with it at your wifes pace. What gives her anxiety now, may turn her on in the future.

[flipper365]

I love the fact that u want ur wife to b totally satisfied and aren't worried about not being able to b with the other woman good luck to u both

[Grl4Her]

gearbox,that definetly sounds like it could happen. bi-guy well put thats how i do feel. thank you flipper... now if only there was aplace where we could find some beautiful women to join her. been trying aff for a few days... waste of money so far. anyone know of how we can get started? we also tried w looking for w on backpage but no luck.

[flipper365]

Sorry I'm new to this site too and not having any luck either... wish we lived closer bc yall sound like an awesome couple to have fun with... good luck and maybe I too can findout more about how to meet ppl though this post...