Now what?

[MrLix]

I have been a member of this site since 2008 and this is my first posting. So hello everyone!

I am very lucky to have the following dilemma. I recently told my relatively new girlfriend that I was bi. I was a bit worried doing so because in my neck of the woods (a small town outside of Seattle) I think people are more biphobic than they are homophobic, which is a lot! However she took it well. I am very grateful to have such an understanding and open minded girl friend.

Later on we were having a discussion of what it means to me to be bi, and that led to talking about my bi fantasies. One of which is to have a MMF threesome, with me and her 69ing one another, me on the bottom, and the third doggying her from behind. That was I can lick her and suck him.

To my surprise she actually got turned on by this. So we decided to take it one step further and put an ad on CL. Needless to say we were slammed with replies, most of them younger horny bis who wanted quick sex. She is concerned about disease, and wants some chemistry, so I have been meeting men who replied to the ad for coffee, then introducing them to her if that goes well. We are also asking for recent STD test results. We also don’t want to be part of cheating, so are not interested in men doing it behind their wives’/GFs’ backs.

Problem is its been over a month and no sex! I have talked to several men so far, and met a couple of them. She was not attracted to the first but was attracted to the second. Problem is their kids knew each other (go figure!) and that gave the guy the willies.

Have any of you gone through a similar process like this? Can you help me out?

[fredtyg]

Wow! I've always wondered how you could put something like that together? At some point you'd have to be upfront with each other that the idea behind meeting each other was sex. That brings with it the possibility of rejection.

And if it was someone you already knew- say a mutual friend of you and the gf's- how would you broach the subject of having that person join you for sex? And even if the third person agreed to the MMF, how would you get started? Who says what to initiate sex? Or who does what to initiate it? It would seem to me to be quite an awkward situation.

It will be of no help for me to describe my two opportunities for a MMF, but I will:

Back in '73 I was living in a large apartment. Two of my room mates were long time, close friends- a guy and a gal- who slept in the same room. That made it easy. One night Jim came into my room and asked if I wanted to join them. I knew what that meant, but chickened out for some reason. Never had that opportunity with them again.

The other actually worked out: A year or so later I went out with a group of friends I hadn't seen in some time. The guy who invited me was the same Jim in the incident above. We were at a local bar/ dance club. As closing time came round I noticed everybody seemed to be pairing up. One guy I knew from back in the apartment days approached and asked if I wanted to go home with him and his girlfriend- a stone fox!

You betcha! I knew what that meant. We went to the girl's house and I was loving it. Not much of a MMF, though, as the guy ended up passing out drunk. I tried reviving him by sucking on his dick but it didn't work and I had the girl all to myself. For whatever reason I never had that opportunity again, either.

In that case it helped that we all knew and were relaxed with each other. Plus, when he invited me home with them I knew exactly what that was about. I was uncertain when we got to the bedroom: What was I supposed to do? But we just got undressed, hopped on the bed, I jumped on the girl and Jack passed out. Pretty simple doing it that way.

[Jobelorocks]

Check out some swinging sites. That may help. You can find out from their profiles what they are looking for and vice versa. Also you see pictures generally and can get an idea even before meeting up if you would be attracted or not. I find that people on swing sites tend to be a little less pushy as well. Also generally with the sites you can do searches many time by age, gender, location, sexual preference, ect. I find that with the swing sites it is much easier to do more screening before meeting up than with CL. Hope this helps.

[wanderingrichard]

Lix,
Look up Pacific Sex Positive Group on yahoo groups. Thats the major, open, group in the area. They meet in Redmond, or did when i was active in the group. [www.longhouseredomnd.org] i think thats the right url for the meeting place. Like all swing groups it had it's good and bad days but there are a lot of terrific people involved in it that would probably meet your requirements.

Also, pm coyotedude, naked in seattle, and Cherokee-Mountaincat, they should be able to fill you in better than i can. CL hookups can be very dangerous. And a lot of work vetting the respondents as you found out. Another venue to persue would be to look in the personals in the Seattle Stranger newspaper, www.thestranger.com (http://www.thestranger.com)

Probably put too much info out here but oh well, ask in open fora, receive in open fora.

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Well thank you,Rich. Rich is absolutely right hon. CL can be very dangerous for first time folks wanting to get into the Lifestyle, or just wanting to meet other like-Minded individules.
The group that he mentioned is one of the most accepting groups in the Pacific Northwest, and can be a wonderful place to start out. I agree with your Honey. Quickies and trying people on is a waste of time and emotion. You also dont know what kind(s) of people they actually are; There's alot of trolls and weirdo's out there, Hon. Its best to meet with people who are Lifestyle Savvy, who know people who are clean, safe, and dependable.
My suggestion is to join Lifestyle groups, and form a report' and relationship with good people that can become not only , but who can become lover's that you know and Trust, but who can become life long friends as well. ;)
If you'd like more info on PSPG or the Lifestyle parties that I help to coordinate, feel free to drop me a note. Be happy to give you some info..:}
Everybody's Cat