accepting being bi doesnt change how i act

[mikey78]

I' m 34 yrs old masculine guy. Im a jock, workout and everything. I like women but lately ive found myself jo to gay porn and talking to guys online. Also fantasizing about sex with a bud. Starting to come to terms with the fact that im bi. However i kinda feel that if i fully accept being bi i cant be a masc guy. I feel a little guilty i want toaccept that i want to have sex with men and women. How do i convince myself that if im bi i dont have to give up acting like a man.

[dm330]

Being bi doesn't make you act any less like a man. You are who you are and always will be. When I came to terms with being bi in my early 20s, I'm still basically the same straight acting guy I have always been. Have fun with the bi experience man, it can be a blast!

[tenni]

I think that you are still processing your sexuality. You have not quite accepted yourself yet and are stuck with stereotypes in your mind. You are no less a man now than you were a year or whenever you began to see that you are not really hetero. It is a bit of internalized biphobia that you are feeling. One word choice in what you wrote is telling. You refer to "acting" like a man. Just be a man. The same man that you always have been. You do not have to become fem to have sex with another man.

[Warrior Poet 69]

I have really never understood why some men choose...hmm....that's not what I want to say...personally I prefer to bottom when with a man and as I've stated before I'm an ex fighter and not what anyone would consider feminine in any way. Mostly I see this with gay men but some bi as well, but they develop a lisp add all these feminine mannerisms. Obviously some much more than others. I'm not sure I understand this. If you feel you are a woman trapped in a mans body, you take steps to correct this, I get that. I also understand being in touch with your feminine side...I think. I don't understand how someone can say, I am a man, and act like a woman, whether they are bi or gay. I hope I'm not offending anyone here. Not my intent. Truly don't understand though. I have danglers, I'm fueled with testosterone, I am a man and I act like one.

[Warrior Poet 69]

Mikey...I'm sorry I don't know how you convince yourself but I can tell you that for me it never changed who I was in that particular context and most of the bi guys I've meet or played with where the same. I guess I feel like its a choice, but I'm not a shrink and don't honestly know.

[Gearbox]

I grew up in a rough ex mining village were men are men. But the second my mouth touched a cock, I had urges to wear kneck scarves and listen to Barbera Striesand.:bigrin:
LOL! No I didn't! I just wanted more cock, and arse etc.
There are fem men and fem women. They are just naturaly fem that's all. You be yourself, and they'll be their selves.

[Realist]

Just be yourself, Mikey, and find those with whom you can relate.

Like Warrior, I too have had a severe dislike for the way some people are.

However, long ago, I learned that there are many different ways of living...many different personalities and many different interests and passions.

It took a while, but I began to accept that I didn't have to associate with anyone I didn't feel comfortable with. Like magnets, we will attract, or repel others. I know I am also different and have interests and passions many others don't....so, I gravitate to those who are most like me.

One may dislike the way others live and the things they do, but that's why there are so many different personalities. Each of us can find friends and lovers, who are most like us, then try not worry about those of us who are different.

Live and let live, is not a bad method of living!

[Warrior Poet 69]

Realist...never said I had a dislike. Please don't put words in my mouth! Just said I didn't understand. Big difference!

[SeekingSimilar24]

Just think of it this way. You are not actually different, you just are integrating more of yourself into your life. Yes, you might run into people who have a problem with it, but that is often just the way it is. People around you who like you for who you are will stick around, others may become more distant, and others might need to be removed altogether from your life, but the fact of the matter is: if you are just being yourself most people typically just accept those aspects of who you are as a part of who you are. If it is uncomfortable or upsetting, that is their emotional response, they need to deal with it. You shouldn't worry about it, just be you.

[mikey78]

Thanks warrior.We think alike I never understood that either. Yes im struggling with it but slowly accepting too. I know im not gonna develop feminine characteristics. However I think its cause in the media thats all were ever shown.Im bi so what, im still a jock , i still workout, testosterone flowing and i get the best of both worlds. Thanks for your help everybody really appreciate it.

[TennesseeBiCouple]

I agree, you really do not change. I sometimes wonder when I play with guys (I feel that often) I am more masculine than I play with women. Just be yourself it will all fall inot place.

[mikey78]

does anyone know of any websites or books particularly geared towards being masc bi and dealing with religion part of the reason is im catholic, but god made me this way so...

[MyTimeNow]

Mostly on point answers in here as it is, but I'll add my 2 cents. You are who you are, despite your sexuality. Nothing has to change your masculinity. I'm masculine, and even after I've fooled around with a guy, it didn't change that one bit. Though it's not quite the same, in certain situations (including with women), I am a little submissive, but it's a choice and doesn't affect my masculinity one bit.

I was raised Catholic, but I'm not a full practicing Catholic. God did make you that way, but knowing the religion (and the years of Catholic school I was forced to attend), it's not accepting of certain things. I don't know of any books or websites, but I'm sure you can Google it and find quite a lot of different points of view about it. Depending on how religious you are, I wouldn't pay it as much mind, since the Church is largely against it - some more than others.

[Neonaught]

I'm a 49 year old married bi man who has understood and accepted my sexuality since I was a teen. I feel that your sexuality doesn't have any bearing on your personal demeanor. I am a combat verteran and and quite masculine and have know quite a few other bi men who were not feminine in the least. I can't see how accepting who your are as a bi man would suddenly make you want to act feminine.