Curious about my boyfriend's possible bi-curiosity

[chatnoir]

So I've been dating a guy for a little while and he has expressed interest in certain males and has also asked me to finger his asshole. I noticed the kind of porn he's into involves a lot of gay men and/or strap-ons. The only problem I have with this is that I'm worried something is going on in his head that he's not telling me. Is this something I should leave alone/not worry about or should it be brought up?

[Warrior Poet 69]

Chat...for some its a very hard thing to talk about, much less admit to. Unless you have reason to believe he's cheating to relieve his desires I'd say for the time being leave it alone. That said, you could help by discussing on a roundabout way. Maybe tell him you like playing with his ass and wonder what he's thinks about maybe getting a strap on. Just show him you would be supportive without making it a big deal.

[chatnoir]

I've told him I wouldn't mine him sleeping with other men if that's something he wanted to do since he's told me I could sleep with other women, and he sort of scoffed at the idea, but I wanted to put it out there just in case hoping he would feel okay with being honest with me.

I worry a lot so thank you for easing my worries!

[tenni]

Hi
Well, I understand that you are "dating" him but not exclusive as far as him being active same sex wise. That is a healthy approach in my opinion. Still you are worrying? What are you worried about? It is not as if you are in a ten year monogamous marriage and you just discovered his interest in penetration and same sex play.... it seems.

You know that he watches gay and strap on porn? How did you learn about that? Was it being casually discussed between the two of you? Were you watching this porn with him? Chat with him about his interested in being penetrated. Are you wondering about how you might use a strap on with him?

It might help if you were a bit more specific. There are women on this site who will answer your strap on questions etc.

Are you wondering if he is gay and how to discuss his discomfort with discussing his sexual same sex fantasies? Wondering if he is bisexual?

I don't think that this is something that you should leave alone but you should respect his comfort level. You seem to have learned a fair bit about his inner thoughts and just referring or even talking about wondering how say a strap on with you using it might be interesting may relax him to discuss his fantasies more easily.

Good luck.

[louther]

I can say for myself it was difficult to admit to myself that I have the desire to have man to man sex. Admitting it to others that actually know me was even harder. Your boyfriend may be feeling that himself, after all in our society it's "cool" if a girl is bi or wants sex with another woman. Totally different for men, we get labeled by people and most young guys see this as a guy being gay and usually guy friends will make jokes about you. It's difficult to be a guy and openly say "I like cock as much as I like pussy".

I would encourage you to talk to him but be understanding that he may not just openly admit his desires. It is helpful and makes it easier if your partner is accepting of those desires. Be honest with him and if it turns you on also tell him that. I know for me my wife had to prod & pry it out of me, and I felt much better after I came clean, especially when she said it made her horny & she was way into it. We've yet to have the opportunity to get guy with us so she can see us together, but she reminds me all the time the day will come when she finally gets to see me suck a cock! Hope this helps you out!

[cornholejoe]

get a strapon and fuck him just surprize him sometime

[littlerayofsunshine]

Maybe you could just tell him your thoughts and reassure him when he's ready to discuss it, you will be there to listen. In my opinion that shows more acceptance than telling him he can go fuck men.

[jackbirdjay]

You know everyone is worried about things why not just ask him where his head is. If it's not your cup of tea tell him and move on before u get very need of him and get heart broken.

[biblkman]

Chatnoir...he absolutely will not admit to being bi or wanting to try something with toys, strap on or another man...like so many bi curious or straight men who like anal play or any contact with the same sex scares him.

He like so many men probably feels like its a trap...so many women have said ...be honest, I'll understand...I accept you....I won't think less of you and ill never leave you cause you are curious.

Then There hit hard with all the things that kept them from being honest like...I knew it... your gay...u don't love or want me...when we have sex, your thinking about men...your gonna leave me for a man...you just want to have sex with anybody.

Trust me I have been on enough sites and have witnessed this first hand and from seeing men who have been outed
If you truly love him and are patient, understanding and not too judgmental he will open up, but he has to know you won't go off the deep end...try saying I know someone, or a friend is...that will get him to open up.

In situations like this he will be very very cautious expressing how he feels, u can't let him down