Anyone here in a 3 way relationship?

[mustangsallymc]

Hi Im new to this site and new to discussing my relationships. I am married and have been for almost 9 years. We also have girlfriend that has lived with us for about 4 years. We are having some issues in the sex department though. She seems to be gelous of him touching me. Soooooooit has been SIX months since we last had sex. Now one would think that with 3 people you would be able to get all the sex u desire. :( unfortunatly for me that is not the case. If she don't want it NO one gets to have it. How do you work out the kinks with a jelous partner???

[wildangel]

Hmmm, quite the conundrum you have here. I mean, obviously you're the primary since you've been with him five years longer and you're married to him. But at the same time, you don't want a secondary thinking she's not as important so you push those facts aside.

I think the best thing to do would for all three of you to sit down and discuss the situation. Obviously this relationship is a three-way, so it has to work for all three of you. One of you can't be neglected because the other is feeling neglected. It most certainly isn't fair for her to get more attention just because she's jealous of you!

Hope it works out for the best whatever you do! :rotate:

[mustangsallymc]

Thankyou for the reply. I have been with my husband since i was 15 and and i am now 31. We did seperate for 2 years becauce of the fact that he felt I put her needs before his. And the same was going on back then....her and i could be sexual but she had a HUGE problem w him and i being sexual. I sometimes wonder if she is gay and not just Bi but when i ask her she says no. I know she has had boyfriends in the past (not that it means anything) that she has been intamite w. She just seems to want me all for her self and that is the big issue.

We have sat down and had this talk over and over and it is not to the point where i may be faced with the dicisson of choosing him or her. I love them both dearly but i told her i would never leave him again. I am so torn. I just want it to work. We all love each other and we have been together for so long. I just don't know what to do.???

[tink1978]

Have you tried asking this question on http://www.polymatchmaker.com/pmm3/main.mv It is a support group for polyamory couples.

tink :bigrin:

[billy_campbell]

Here is a site that Drew has posted out on the The BI Web section:

http://www.torontopoly.ca/

[CountryLover]

There is no place for jealousy or selfishness in a polyamorous relationship. You are married to your husband, and that relationship has to come first. If I were in your shoes - and yes, I understand about loving her - I'd let her know that her behavior is NOT acceptable and she needs to make some important changes or find another home.

Her behavior is NOT supportive of the polyamorous relationship, nor is it loving toward you or your husband. It's selfish and self-centered.

Sorry if I sound harsh here, but I don't tolerate jealousy/possession well. Even a hint of it gives me hives!

[BI BOYTOY]

hey their, im sorry for your problems. but i have been in poly relationships before, and i takes work on all sides.apparently you know this. for a poly relationship to work their cant be posesviness and jelousy,their needs to be understanding of everybodys needs and desires. as well as knowing were everybodys boundries are. everybody must be willing to have open comunication. these relationships can work and be loving in every way but the 3 must work as 1 as much as possible. i wish i had more to offer you in regards to advise , only thing i can say good luck i wish you the best in working this one out :bigrin: :bigrin: :bigrin: :eek: :bibounce: