Is it fair??

[blugirl789]

i'm bi. husband is not. i'm extremely sexual. a lover. although i love sex, i am severely selective and haven't even hit double digits. i'm not a jealous person, nor is my husband. which is a huge reason i stuck with him. he never caged me. but now i feel caged. i want to express my sexuality. have wanted to for years. last year, it became okay for me to become involved with women. and even better if it evolved into threesomes including my spouse. i was okay with just exploring other women. after talking with friends, it didn't seem fair for me that my husband got to experience other women and i didn't have the option of exploring other men. to clarify, no threesomes have taken place.

after a year of thinking, and realizing the shortness of life and youth, i've come to want an open marriage to explore people. not just women. husband was okay it seemed. several months passed. nothing has changed. then i find myself attracted to a man. the husband won't let me have him. and i am stamping my feet because it feels unfair. am i being a brat? i don't get it. he can be with whoever, whenever. he hasn't been, as far as i know. but he still has that freedom. and i feel caged. i'm very frustrated.

[biwilliams]

It would seem you're in a rather difficult position. You're bisexual and your husband is straight. You've given him the freedom to sleep around but he doesn't do it because it would seem he is happy with you and you are enough for him. You're upset because though he says he doesn't mind. In some ways he does. He doesn't care if you go out and have fun with other women, but the fact that you want to be with other men can be a slap in his face. It could be that he feels like you wanting to be with another man means that you aren't satisfied with just him. You state that you've never had threesomes but you want to. You said that you spoke with friends and they said it didn't seem fair that your husband would be able to experience other women while with you via threesome's but you don't have the option of exploring other men. If threesomes have not taken place could it be because he's not interested in being with another women though he may say so to ease your mind? It's really not unfair of him to not want you to be with other men if he's not going out and sleeping with other women. He's given you the ability to explore your bisexuality by being with women. That's a huge thing right there. Maybe you both need to sit down and discuss things completely to figure out where everything stands. Find out why he's not interested in going out and sleeping with other women.

[bityme]

It appears that you have two different desires that are complicating your relationship. The first is the exploration of your bisexuality and the second is gaining experience with other male partners.

You have not been real specific about timing. The implication is that you have been with your husband for several years, at least and that he has known about your bisexuality either from the start or at least a bit of time prior to your reaching an understanding about explorations with other women. It also appears that you have had some encounters with other women during the past year, but have not yet had a threesome even though he has expressed a willingness to participate. You don't indicate why a threesome has not yet occurred - not finding a willing lady, his unwillingness or hesitancy, your not really taking the effort to set it up, etc. Knowing the reason would help to understand the relationship dynamics you are dealing with.

You indicate he is not the jealous type. That appears to be true at least with regard to you encounters with other women. You indicate that several months ago he agreed to open your relationship more to include your interest in other men, but now that you've found one who interests you he's balking at the prospect of seeing you actually expand your heterosexual experiences.

From a sexual standpoint, relationships are great when both parties completely satisfy each others needs. Of course, that seldom, if ever, is the case in anything but exclusively heterosexual or homosexual relationships.

When both parties are not completely satisfied, or are just crave adventure, they often turn to some type of open relationship like swinging or individual dating. Of course, either of those options could include either heterosexual explorations, bisexual explorations. or a combination of both.

It is not at all unusual for individuals, or couples, to experience a desire to expand their sexual horizons. It is very common when the parties have had little, or no, experience with anyone other than their mate or in a long-term relationship when something occurs that changes the sexual dynamics (the onset of menopause or ED difficulties are commonly cited). Development of, or an increase of, bisexual desires (disclosed or not) can also create changes in the sexual dynamics,

When there is a mismatch between the couple's needs or adventurous spirit some type of tension or conflict will arise. This seems to be the position you are in. You first experienced a need to express your bisexuality. Having explored that dimension of your personality, you find that you also have a desire for greater heterosexual variety. You question whether or not it is fair for your husband to resist your new desire. You base your questioning of his fairness on the fact that you have supposedly reached an agreement that you are both free to engaged in sexual encounters with others even though he has not taken advantage of freedom granted him in the agreement.

It is interesting to note that in your profile you classify yourself as a Kinsey 4 (predominantly homosexual but more than incidentally heterosexual). From your description of him, one might speculate that you would classify your husband as a Kinsey 0 (exclusively heterosexual). It would not be surprising if you would also classify him as having a monogamous nature, while yours is obviously non-monogamous.

Your statement that your husband's lack of jealousy is a "huge reason that [you] stuck with him." This infers that aside from sexuality there may be, or had been, other problems with your relationship. Is it possible that your husband's agreements with your desires for a more open marriage were that they seemingly brought about a resolution of other issues and not because of any desire on his part pursue sexual experiences with anyone other than you?

Sexual problems, like financial issues, can produce irreconcilable differences within a marriage. A party's invocation of something being unfair often pinpoints the issue giving rise to such irreconcilable difference. Usually, however, the issue is not fairness, but the existence of a mismatch of needs or desires. You might find that, if the situation continues, your feeling of unfairness will extend to other areas of your relationship. Whether others might view your feelings as irrational or illogical is immaterial. It is the existence of such feelings that can damage the marriage.

The fact that your husband is understanding of your bisexuality, and your reaching the agreements that you have, indicates that you do, or did, have open lines of communication between yourselves. It is essential that you maintain that communication if you desire to preserve your marriage. It is also important that you refrain from characterizing his actions in response to your desires as unfair. They are not unfair, but they certainly come from a perspective that differs from your own. You need to explore with him any possible options the mismatch between your respective desires.

If he does, in fact, have an exclusively heterosexual, monogamous nature, your pursuit of opportunities for sexual experiences with other males in the same context as you separate experiences with women may be very difficult for him. Instead, I would suggest you determine the extent of his monogamous nature. This should be one of the foremost issues in your discussions. It would appear that since he has been accepting of your encounters with women, any change in his desire that your heterosexual side be exclusive with you would best be pursued first in the contest of a threesome with another woman. While such threesome would certainly present the opportunity for him to observe, and possibly participate in, your bisexual experiences, you can also utilize it as an opportunity for you and the other woman to make him the center of attention. Common male fantasies are receiving oral attention from two women at the same time or penetration with one woman while performing oral on another. It would also be an opportunity for you and him to make the other woman the center of attention. Sharing the taste an feel of another woman can be an extremely erotic and bonding experience for a couple,

If you give him sufficient opportunities to experience the pleasures of another woman with you as well as finding out that you are enthused about, and turned on by, his enjoyment and you ensure that he is aware that such experiences only serve to deepen your feelings for each other and not detract from your relationship, you will probably find his resistance to your experience with other males lessen. If that is the case, I would not suggest your seeking solo encounters with other males, but instead that together you pursue experiences with other couples, particularly those with bi females so that you can continue your sharing of other women while at the same time taking advantage of the attention of another male.

You must realize that while it is more common for women to have a monogamous nature, both men and women are greatly influenced by the attitudes of their parents and religious training during their formative years. They are also subject to adoption of the view, or vestiges of it, that their wife becomes one of their possessions and access to, or attention given, by other men is a violation of their exclusive rights to her. As such, it may be a long and difficult process for him to become comfortable seeing you engaged in sexual activities with another man. The easiest method of changing that mindset is to guide him to the realization that sex with others is a recreational activity when compared to the emotion-charged love-making that you share together in the marital bed.

You must also realize that his current mind-set, having come about as a result of his upbringing during his formative years as opposed to a choice during adulthood, will not change immediately. Characterizing his current mind-set as unfair may seem antagonistic and will, most certainly, be counter productive,

Best of luck,

Pappy

[Cast Iron]

Is it fair that a 12 year old girl, sitting on her porch in Chicago doing homework, is suddenly struck by a bullet fired by gang members? Is it fair that a convert to Christianity in Tunisia has his head cut off and the video posted on the internet? Is it fair that one goes to see a movie, only to find that a friggen whack job starts firing into the crowd? Yes, you're a brat who needs to get her priorities in order.

[void()]

Wife and I have similar open relationship. I only seek the company of men. She does not want me seeking women. I agree, do not feel it unfair or oppressive. My wife is all the woman I need. Still have erotic dreams with her as a star after being married twelve years.

It isn't all about the sex, though. I love that she resonates being a woman, a person with a good heart. She goes slow in life. I am the hurry up, finish, move to the next sort. It is nice she slows me down to appreciate life. Love that about her despite sometimes getting frustrated by it and grumbling.

She is straight. She can have other guys if she wants. I prefer her not being with psychos except myself, or those we know are cheating and lying. Again, don't see it as unfair or oppressive. Maybe it's just love?

[tenni]

I am unclear as to whether you have been sexual with women or if this man is the first person other than your husband?

I think that your husband is being very open for a hetero man to accept you being with women with or without him. It seems to be to be a direct threat to him if you go with another man. His feelings of insecurity make sense to me. He is not as open as you would like him to be. If this other man is the first person man or woman that you are going to have sex with other than him, you may want to slow down and go with women for awhile. Seek out a fmf threesome. It may be too much too soon as Void may be inferring.

[blugirl789]

i ended a ffm relationship for my husband. not because he was against it, but because the woman was becoming jealous. i fell naturally into monogamy with him. the years have been wonderful with him. we've been together for 13 years. i haven't sought out another person to be with. i'm very busy and mostly content. lol. in fact, i was shocked when i became attracted to a man this year. i've found many men attractive, but never seriously wanted to have sex with them since being with my husband. and so this recent attraction rocked me. i was confused by it and felt guilty about it.

he has kind of pushed the 3some thing starting last year after i mentioned that i miss being with women. it felt as tho he pushed it because he wanted the experience more for himself rather than allowing me to indulge my bi side. which is fine. this isn't all about me. i want him to have the opportunity to explore his own sexuality. his excitement is my excitement. but we haven't found the opportunity.

bityme. thank you. very insightful and very helpful. he is a monogamous person and is madly in love with me. and i love him. i think what i've gotten out of this thread so far is to take things slowly with him, to respect him, and to appreciate him. and i am a brat. lol.

[Paddarick69]

there's a touch of unfairness on either side, and, of course, I can't add to anything Pappy says, who can? lol... just keep that communication flowing from a place of good will... love, even :)

[blugirl789]

the main reason i suggested or want an open marriage is more for the psychology of it. i feel free thinking that if i want to i can. i hate feeling controlled. after i suggested open marriage, i thought that i may have shot myself in the foot, considering how rare it is that i find myself wanting to be involved with another man. specifically, 2 in the span of a dozen years. but then i thought, eh. no big deal if he gets lucky. i find it exhilarating actually. more power to him.

[blugirl789]

there's a touch of unfairness on either side, and, of course, I can't add to anything Pappy says, who can? lol... just keep that communication flowing from a place of good will... love, even :)

lol. i know, right?! Pappy's the man!

[blugirl789]

Is it fair that a 12 year old girl, sitting on her porch in Chicago doing homework, is suddenly struck by a bullet fired by gang members? Is it fair that a convert to Christianity in Tunisia has his head cut off and the video posted on the internet? Is it fair that one goes to see a movie, only to find that a friggen whack job starts firing into the crowd? Yes, you're a brat who needs to get her priorities in order.

Tho I agree I'm a bit of a brat in this situation, I do have my priorities in order. I'm not blind to the suffering of the world. I am very compassionate and do what I can to ease that suffering. I am impacted and feel it all too deeply at times. I won't, however, let it consume me or keep me from enjoying all the splendor of this world. This seemingly trivial question posed here is only one aspect of me. Thank you for your response and candor.

[darkeyes]

Is it fair that a 12 year old girl, sitting on her porch in Chicago doing homework, is suddenly struck by a bullet fired by gang members? Is it fair that a convert to Christianity in Tunisia has his head cut off and the video posted on the internet? Is it fair that one goes to see a movie, only to find that a friggen whack job starts firing into the crowd? Yes, you're a brat who needs to get her priorities in order.
Because we like a good fuck, and to have fun in our lives does not mean we don't have our priorities right... as is frequently pointed out on this site, this is a sex site principally to help bisexuals be bisexual as well as those close to bisexuals understand bisexuals... we discuss other things on site and are often criticised for doing so.. and I am probably as great an offender as any because I believe it right that we do so and am a regular contributor to serious debates about the world.. but to slag off a bisexual for wanting to be bisexual and who asks whether something is fair is too much... life is about the great issues of the world, but it is also about living and enjoying life.. I suggest you get off your high horse and start that process or you will blow a gasket... life is about dealing with our world and trying to make it better... but it is also about dealing with our own life and its minutiae and our great personal issues and trying to make those better... I fret and despair about our world and do what I can to make our world less shitty... but I love my life and it has small and large problems which I have to deal with... to get me through life I have fun.. I have sex... a lot.....I go dancing and drink plonk.... I go on holiday..watch the Jambos when I can... go to theatre and concerts...go shopping.. small things to you... less great than the Afghan war... but important to me to keep body and soul together and get me through life sane...

It's ok, blu... life isn't fair.. it prob never will be entirely so, even in relationships with those we love..all we can do is try and make it as fair as it can be and as has been said.. that means talking and both parties listening to what each other has to say and trying to accomodate each other in some way.. absolute fairness may be rare because everyone has a different opinion on what is fair.. and partner's opinions are often at variance too...:bigrin:

[welickit]

Everyone has their own rules they live bi. We don't happen to see you as a brat. We are about as open as anyone can be and we think your man is insecure. Don't look for things to get better anytime soon.

[MelissaPDX]

Everyone has their own rules they live bi. We don't happen to see you as a brat. We are about as open as anyone can be and we think your man is insecure. Don't look for things to get better anytime soon. The rules for an open relationship or open marriage that work for you don't work for everyone. It does not make someone insecure when they're a person of the opposite gender in an open relationship and they allow a bisexual person of the opposite gender to have sex with people of the same gender but not the opposite gender. What if they said "I don't want you having sex with anyone else at all and I want us to be completely monogamous?" that would also be completely fair too.

[Gearbox]

The one who wants the most restrictions often gets to call the shots in a relationship. They demand control, and define 'cheating' for you both.
No that's not fair, and if you really feel trapped etc, then you should think about leaving.

[blugirl789]

Because we like a good fuck, and to have fun in our lives does not mean we don't have our priorities right... as is frequently pointed out on this site, this is a sex site principally to help bisexuals be bisexual as well as those close to bisexuals understand bisexuals... we discuss other things on site and are often criticised for doing so.. and I am probably as great an offender as any because I believe it right that we do so and am a regular contributor to serious debates about the world.. but to slag off a bisexual for wanting to be bisexual and who asks whether something is fair is too much... life is about the great issues of the world, but it is also about living and enjoying life.. I suggest you get off your high horse and start that process or you will blow a gasket... life is about dealing with our world and trying to make it better... but it is also about dealing with our own life and its minutiae and our great personal issues and trying to make those better... I fret and despair about our world and do what I can to make our world less shitty... but I love my life and it has small and large problems which I have to deal with... to get me through life I have fun.. I have sex... a lot.....I go dancing and drink plonk.... I go on holiday..watch the Jambos when I can... go to theatre and concerts...go shopping.. small things to you... less great than the Afghan war... but important to me to keep body and soul together and get me through life sane...

It's ok, blu... life isn't fair.. it prob never will be entirely so, even in relationships with those we love..all we can do is try and make it as fair as it can be and as has been said.. that means talking and both parties listening to what each other has to say and trying to accomodate each other in some way.. absolute fairness may be rare because everyone has a different opinion on what is fair.. and partner's opinions are often at variance too...:bigrin:

thank you so much darkeyes! and thank you welickat for not thinking i'm a brat. i do care about the going on's in the world. i care about my husband. but at the end of the day, all i have is me. how much of myself do i have to give up or give over? i'm willing to compromise, but i can't sacrifice who i am or live my life for anybody else but myself. i tried it his way for over a dozen years. he wanted exclusivity after a while, and i gave it to him. and for a while, monogamy didn't feel forced. but for whatever reasons, it's truly against the grain for me. with the recent death of my brother, it's all too clear how short life is. and i want to live my life true.

i think we'll get there gear. i hope so. if not, perhaps he's not the man i thought he was. and that is a confident, secure man that accepts me for all that i am and wouldn't change or cage me. and it isn't fair, because he does want to have sex with another woman. he just hasn't had that opportunity yet. as soon as he gets that opportunity, mine would have passed and he'd be enjoying the exhilaration of entering a new experience. and i'd be sitting on the sidelines pouting. of course he wants me to be with another woman. it fits his agenda. but what does a man have to offer him as a straight man? nothing. i try to be mature and sensible about it. we shall see.

[pepperjack]

Is it fair that a 12 year old girl, sitting on her porch in Chicago doing homework, is suddenly struck by a bullet fired by gang members? Is it fair that a convert to Christianity in Tunisia has his head cut off and the video posted on the internet? Is it fair that one goes to see a movie, only to find that a friggen whack job starts firing into the crowd? Yes, you're a brat who needs to get her priorities in order.

Strong post that bespeaks the reality of the world we live in!

[pepperjack]

Wife and I have similar open relationship. I only seek the company of men. She does not want me seeking women. I agree, do not feel it unfair or oppressive. My wife is all the woman I need. Still have erotic dreams with her as a star after being married twelve years.

It isn't all about the sex, though. I love that she resonates being a woman, a person with a good heart. She goes slow in life. I am the hurry up, finish, move to the next sort. It is nice she slows me down to appreciate life. Love that about her despite sometimes getting frustrated by it and grumbling.

She is straight. She can have other guys if she wants. I prefer her not being with psychos except myself, or those we know are cheating and lying. Again, don't see it as unfair or oppressive. Maybe it's just love?


Ok...I like this post except for the part where you say you prefer her not being with a cheater or liar. So how is this mindset different from my recent blog where I expressed
having put a couple of game-playing liars in their places? None that I can see; except for your obvious bias to Christianity. Maybe vengeance was too strong of a word for you?

[darkeyes]

I can't say for Voidie, Pepper.. but it is too strong a word for me.. my grandfather was a Presbyterian God fearing Christian man and it is his teachings and the teachings of his Saviour that give me a distaste for vengeance. My Grandmother on my mothers side was a God fearing Catholic lady whose talent for retribution and and vengeance was second to none... you pays your money and take your pick.. but the lessons of my fathers father and the practical education of my grandmother had their effect on making me who I am... there is a world of difference between preferring a person conducts herself in a particular way and wreaking out vengeance on the world for its mistakes and misjudgements.. even its evil... and a world of difference between vengeance and exposing those who cause harm to or deceive others.. I prefer not to play the game of vengeance... I suppose you could say Christianity taught me that in one way or t'other...

..and as I go through life, and observe the writings and doings of so many God fearing Christian men and women on this beautiful earth, including so many on this site I may add, who invoke God at every twist and turn, it makes me wonder why Christ bothered getting out of bed in a morning once he had given up his joinery...... ahhh but context is all... the excuse to ignore and do our own thing when it pleases us..

'Tis but a gentle tap and the back of the hand I give thee, dear Pepper... because not all of us who have no God do not live spiritual and good lives substantially in accord with the teachings of the man you call your Saviour... and neither are our words always contradictory of what he is supposed to have taught... and in the instance of Voidie and his wife, there is no admonishment of any part of your Christianity, merely a statement one man's way of living with a woman he clearly loves... Voidie may question Christianity as do I, and we may not believe Christ to be quite what you think him to be, but more he questions those who claim to be Christian.. but in the instance to which you refer in your post, there be no connection...

[darkeyes]

Strong post that bespeaks the reality of the world we live in!
Over strong post which ignores the reality of life and living and dismisses our little dreams and desires as nothing...

[void()]

Ok...I like this post except for the part where you say you prefer her not being with a cheater or liar. So how is this mindset different from my recent blog where I expressed
having put a couple of game-playing liars in their places? None that I can see; except for your obvious bias to Christianity. Maybe vengeance was too strong of a word for you?

Because I am not effecting those seen as cheaters and liars. We simply do not interact with them. Others may. We are doing nothing to them save from choosing to not interact with them.

Maybe they may take the hint from example. We do not cheat. We do not knowingly get involved with those whom cheat. We do obviously therefore dislike cheating. So? I'm sure you dislike something too.

You played games in kind with those with those whom you deemed liars. I would chose to not even interact with them. What goes round, comes round. Doesn't matter the religion.

I was just pointing out your obvious hypocrisy whilst you state being Christian. Your holy book says God will meter out judgement, not us. If you followed it then, I wouldn't have been able to point out the hypocrisy.

It was about you as a person, not the religion. You as a person chose your actions, which were hypocritical of what your chosen religion teaches.

This is why I avoid all religions, mankind mucks it all up.

[pepperjack]

Because I am not effecting those seen as cheaters and liars. We simply do not interact with them. Others may. We are doing nothing to them save from choosing to not interact with them.

Maybe they may take the hint from example. We do not cheat. We do not knowingly get involved with those whom cheat. We do obviously therefore dislike cheating. So? I'm sure you dislike something too.

You played games in kind with those with those whom you deemed liars. I would chose to not even interact with them. What goes round, comes round. Doesn't matter the religion.

I was just pointing out your obvious hypocrisy whilst you state being Christian. Your holy book says God will meter out judgement, not us. If you followed it then, I wouldn't have been able to point out the hypocrisy.

It was about you as a person, not the religion. You as a person chose your actions, which were hypocritical of what your chosen religion teaches.

This is why I avoid all religions, mankind mucks it all up.


I've been pointing out your hypocrisies since our first encounter here; maybe that's why you initially became so enraged toward me. You misunderstood me once again! I was agreeing with you about liars & cheaters. That's what the blog was about. Yes, you avoid all religions...that's why you became temporarily fond of the Mormons this past year.:rolleyes: You think you're pointing out my hypocrisy? I was pointing out my humanity. You just don't get it!

[pepperjack]

Over strong post which ignores the reality of life and living and dismisses our little dreams and desires as nothing...


No, not over strong,Dark; tells it like it is! But maybe this is is one reason I like you ....because of your hypersensitivity.:)

[pepperjack]

Yes! Life is rotten & unfair at times!:disgust:Got something in the mail today confirming that! Seems very timely.

[void()]

I've been pointing out your hypocrisies since our first encounter here; maybe that's why you initially became so enraged toward me. You misunderstood me once again! I was agreeing with you about liars & cheaters. That's what the blog was about. Yes, you avoid all religions...that's why you became temporarily fond of the Mormons this past year.:rolleyes: You think you're pointing out my hypocrisy? I was pointing out my humanity. You just don't get it!

No, you're the one not getting it. I liked a television show obviously written by Later Day Saints. One may have similar values with another yet not hold their belief/s. Easy enough for you to step back and claim foul yet again. "Void, always misunderstanding. I was doing x not y." Perhaps, if you did not appear to be doing y, I would not have reason to say you're doing y. Called as seen.

Ultimately though, I no longer care. You can think as you will, do as you will. Think others can see for themselves. What goes round comes round, as I said earlier.

[blugirl789]

Yes! Life is rotten & unfair at times!:disgust:Got something in the mail today confirming that! Seems very timely.

i'm sry to hear the implications of awfulness in your life pepper. what keeps me going and focused is what i contribute now and plan to contribute in the future. i am working toward becoming a sort of superhero. lol.

[darkeyes]

i'm sry to hear the implications of awfulness in your life pepper. what keeps me going and focused is what i contribute now and plan to contribute in the future. i am working toward becoming a sort of superhero. lol.
Watch it, blu, babes.. think twice b4 u go down that road.. ya might end up wiv a huge gob and be an opinionated cow like moi...:tongue::kiss:

[pepperjack]

I can't say for Voidie, Pepper.. but it is too strong a word for me.. my grandfather was a Presbyterian God fearing Christian man and it is his teachings and the teachings of his Saviour that give me a distaste for vengeance. My Grandmother on my mothers side was a God fearing Catholic lady whose talent for retribution and and vengeance was second to none... you pays your money and take your pick.. but the lessons of my fathers father and the practical education of my grandmother had their effect on making me who I am... there is a world of difference between preferring a person conducts herself in a particular way and wreaking out vengeance on the world for its mistakes and misjudgements.. even its evil... and a world of difference between vengeance and exposing those who cause harm to or deceive others.. I prefer not to play the game of vengeance... I suppose you could say Christianity taught me that in one way or t'other...

..and as I go through life, and observe the writings and doings of so many God fearing Christian men and women on this beautiful earth, including so many on this site I may add, who invoke God at every twist and turn, it makes me wonder why Christ bothered getting out of bed in a morning once he had given up his joinery...... ahhh but context is all... the excuse to ignore and do our own thing when it pleases us..

'Tis but a gentle tap and the back of the hand I give thee, dear Pepper... because not all of us who have no God do not live spiritual and good lives substantially in accord with the teachings of the man you call your Saviour... and neither are our words always contradictory of what he is supposed to have taught... and in the instance of Voidie and his wife, there is no admonishment of any part of your Christianity, merely a statement one man's way of living with a woman he clearly loves... Voidie may question Christianity as do I, and we may not believe Christ to be quite what you think him to be, but more he questions those who claim to be Christian.. but in the instance to which you refer in your post, there be no connection...


It appears that you misunderstood my post as did Void. I started by saying I liked his post about his relationship with his wife except for the comments about liars and cheats. He apparently has a problem with those types of people as I do,so I saw it as hypocritical that he criticized me on my blog for dealing with a couple of them in what you referred to as a "crafty" manner. From my perspective, he was making the proverbial mountain out of a molehill. That's why I queried maybe "vengeance" was too strong of a word for him and as you wisely stated,there's a " world of difference " between actual vengeance & exposing someone who's deceitful. Jesus said, "I send you forth as sheep among wolves; be ye therefore wise as serpents and harmless as doves." I think he was saying, it's ok to be a little crafty now & then in order to protect yourself. If I had used the word "exposed," do you suppose Void would have tried to attack me through my Christian beliefs? And, btw, that's a label he put on me; I have always referred to myself as a believer, not a Christian, because I know I don't always walk the walk. Would I even be on this site if I fit Void's narrow minded stereotype of what a believer in Jesus is "supposed" to be like? It's common knowledge here that Void & I clash; we don't get along. It is what it is.

[pepperjack]

i'm sry to hear the implications of awfulness in your life pepper. what keeps me going and focused is what i contribute now and plan to contribute in the future. i am working toward becoming a sort of superhero. lol.

No you're not! You're placating. You could care less about any injustice in my life. But I understand somewhat because of your youth & the world you're growing up in. Superhero status is something that is bestowed, not achieved...much like genuine greatness. What keeps me going is mental toughness, memories of experiences I like to refer to as peaks of inner strength. You know, like a distance runner? ;)

[pepperjack]

No, you're the one not getting it. I liked a television show obviously written by Later Day Saints. One may have similar values with another yet not hold their belief/s. Easy enough for you to step back and claim foul yet again. "Void, always misunderstanding. I was doing x not y." Perhaps, if you did not appear to be doing y, I would not have reason to say you're doing y. Called as seen.

Ultimately though, I no longer care. You can think as you will, do as you will. Think others can see for themselves. What goes round comes round, as I said earlier.

Yeah..."Later" Day Saints & " meter" out vengeance. Of course I can think & do as I will & I surely don't need your permission to do so! These human rights came from The Almighty! Let me guess...you've been watching too many Planet of the Apes reruns during your longterm, idle period of unemployment!

[void()]

Sorry, pepper saying something?