Young, Unsure, and Open-Minded

[YoungAndUnsure]

Hi,

I'm new to the forums, so I thought I'd do the usual thing of dropping a note and telling my story.

I am young (eighteen) and still unsure of my sexual orientation. I am currently in a happy relationship with a girlfriend of four years, but my whole life I have been attracted to members of both sexes. I haven't been in a relationship with a male, but I am open to such a thing in the future - if things with my girl turn sour. I recently told her about my indecision and was glad to hear that she would still care for me no matter what. I haven't told anyone else for fear that my father will learn. He's the stereotypical ignorant hater, so I'm better off with him not knowing.

Anyway, I guess I'd just like some general advice on deciding my orientation. In any case, I am very much for the GLBT community and would like to learn ways to support the rights of that community.

~ Josh

[JohnnyV]

Y and U,

Welcome!!! I'm sure I speak for everyone when I say we're all rooting for you. You have lots of tough decisions ahead and nobody has a magic ball to tell you what will happen. Enjoy the ride.

These forums have a lot of advice, if you have the time to sift through them. If you can, sit down and go through lots of threads; I know you'll find all the help and insights you need. And if you see a post that perks your interest, send one of us a message. We're a friendly helpful bunch.

Luv,
J

[arana]

Welcome to the site Josh! I hope you'll come to chat and get to know people and find what you are looking for. It's no one's business but those close to you that it affects as far as your sexual orientation. And moreso if you have those in your life that don't understand and hate what they don't understand. Your own well being comes first. There are a lot of wonderful and knowledgeable people here and I'm sure you'll get great insight from them. As Johnny says, check out the various threads. There are some very thought provoking and inspirational ones mixed in with the silly.

Best of luck to you!

[JrzGuy3]

http://img118.imageshack.us/img118/2756/welcome18rx.gif

Hey Josh!

Well, thanks for the intro. You said some interesting things. First of all, you talked a decent amount of being unsure of your orientation. This is definitely a good place if you want to do some exploring into whom you are- talking things out, sharing thoughts, feelings and getting feedback from the community. You definitely have the opportunity to.

You also ask about what you can do for the community at large. I notice that you're one of my fellow Jerseyans! If you don't mind (considering you're 18 I'm making a guess you're a graduating senior, and if not, oops), can I ask where you go to school? I'm just transferring out of TCNJ and can testify that they have a great GLBT group that I helped run for 2 years. I'm on my way to Stockton, where I believe there's also a group. Rutgers, of course, has like 5 GLBT themed groups. If you're open to going, they'd be a great place to start.

Hope you like the place!

[kenny]

Before you make any final decisions of your orientation, you might want to try playing with another guy, see if you like it. Most guys have bisexual feelings. Some embrace it, some dont. You may find its not what you want or perhaps it is. Then you will have something to go on.

[Long Duck Dong]

sexual orientation and sexual relationship .... they are two different things

yu mention being drawn to both sexes... but you do mention in what way.... its possible to be drawn to both sexes but not in a sexual sense and a lot of the trouble that people may struggle with is sometimes they may balance out better in a open relationship with both sexes....

a lil bit of advice... what ya g/f said ...about the caring for you no matter what.... its merely words until it comes to the point where you stop struggling with your emotions and feelings and make a stand and say * this is who i am *.... then see what she says..... cos its very possible she will embrace you and your sexual orientation and stand beside you and its possible she may not....

i have not yet met the lady out that can actually back up what they say.... but thats not to say they are not out there.... there are many ladies out there that embrace male bisexuals and share their lives with them

your choice about your sexuality... affects you and any partners you may have....and it becomes a interesting path to walk thru life..... but its near impossible to hide.....lol you may be surprised just how many people are aware of your sexulity more than you are.... they are just not saying a word lol

[Avocado]

Seems to me that you're unsure whether you're straight or bi. As you're in a relationship with a member of the opposite sex, I wouldn't really worry about it too much. All you really need to worry about is that she's ok with your sexuality whether you're straight or bi. Personally I'd say you're bi, I think anyone who says you don't know you're queer if you haven't done anything forgets that no-one's called not straight for having not done anything with either sex. My advice is by all means worry about your sexuality and how people may react, but for God's sake don't cheat or dump the one you love just to find out whether you're straight or bi. You're happy in the relationship you're in, that's what matters most.