To kiss or not to kiss

[Paddarick69]

I've been picking up on this whole kissing versus not kissing deal among the man bi's... hard for me to relate to - how the heck do you have sex with someone and not be affectionate?! I'm understanding, though, everyone's sexuality runs differently, soooo it's something I'll probably have to adjust to... it's still weird to me, my one adult male lover I kissed HUNGRILY! (and one of my two adolescent boy lovers, too)

hey now! I was an adolescent boy too, so don't go thinking I'm aqualung or something! ;)

[Gearbox]

Yes it's fascinating!:tongue: How some LOVE getting fucked, sucked, licked, rimmed etc, think it's awesome if you slap your cock across their face, ram it in their mouths, down their throats, cum in their face, in their mouth etc..........BUT gently press your lips against theirs and they act like high school closet lesbians on a date rape.:rolleyes:
I can't relate to it either. I wouldn't have sex with a woman who I didn't want to kiss, and same goes for men too.

While we're on the subject...:rolleyes:....men who are not attracted to men, but like cock. How does that work? They only meet at gloryholes? Are there any bi women who are not attracted to women, but like vagina's? Any men like that too?
Would 'only like cock' bi's suck absolutely anybodies cock no matter how grotesque or handsome the owner may be? Or would they chose the handsome ones, even though attraction is no issue?

I don't know. It's fun to ponder though.:confused:

[tenni]

I agree with both Patrick and Gear..NOW. Kissing is intimate to many people and I find it a form of communication with the right person(man or woman).

I can relate to the "no" kissing thing with a man. At one time, I held that perspective. I do not now though. Two men kissing just was not done. In a similar but different fashion that you don't suck cock if you are a man. Somehow a lot of biguys get over sucking cock and really want it. Guys are cockcentric whether we are doing the sucking etc. or not....are we not? ;)

Now, I still am not all that fond of sucking cock..lol I will give head to get the return favour. I almost like some aspects of another guy's cock..but back to kissing. It probably is homophobic to not be open to kissing another man. It may be just a strong taboo that is reserved for kissing women only.

I don't know how I evolved to accepting and enjoying kissing another man. I certainly do now. In fact, I strongly prefer it and may say no to playtime if the guy doesn't kiss. I've posted this before but I also have just stop and excused myself from the scene if the guy is not at least a satisfactory kisser. I remember once after playing around sucking cock, and kissing that a guy offered me a drink out of his glass. I declined and then realized after all we had done, why worry about his germs...lol (or mine). I think that kissingphobia is just part of the evolution as a bisexual man. Some evolve and some stay cockcentric..;)

[mike1]

I'm mostly into guys, and for me, kissing is the most important part of sex. I love a lot of deep, intense, passionate French kissing with a guy (maybe even two guys, or a guy and a woman). It's not just about romantic love - deep kissing is very erotic for me, whether or not I'm in love with the person.

Of course I love a lot of other sexual activities too, but if someone doesn't want to kiss, I'd almost sooner forgo sex with him and masturbate alone, fantasizing that I AM kissing someone. Fancy that.

[Paddarick69]

snort... fun inner debates to while away the hours

[Paddarick69]

and I agree, kissing anybody is just plain erotic

[olmizzou42]

Totally agree! How can you suck a cock, take cum in your mouth, but back off from kissing? Does not kissing make one feel that the act is less queer?

[NjbiGuy01]

I just started a dialogue with a both-bi couple. We're discussing a get-together in the near future. During the course of conversation, she made a point of something I mentioned in my e-mail: I like to kiss. More woman than men, but I have kissed and snowballed with men and women in the past. Anyway, she made a point to mention that "we keep the kissing between my husband and I" and "hope you don't mind". Well, here we are discussing all kinds of debauchery, and she says that !! lol. He wants to get fucked, she wants to get eaten and fucked, he wants to fuck me, and no kissing ? lol I can live with it, but it seems so odd...not even a snowball ? :(

[by~his~side]

Ok, here's another perspective.
I love watching my hubby with his male friends. It's very hot.
The j/o, the oral and the anal....it's all very hot to me.
But, the kissing? Not so much.
Quite possibly because that is something he can do with me whereas the rest of the play
is m/m all the way.
I'm thinking hubby has no problem with it since he does kiss his friends.
Just wanted to post my :2cents:. (Plus I LOVE being underneath NjbiGuy)

~D~

[Jerseyduo]

So BHS, even when the guy is really hot that doesn't do it for you?

For my wife, the idea of the two men kissing is what started us on our journey

[blugirl789]

i think it might be fear of intimacy. idk. kissing is like having a conversation in getting to know someone. some ppl would rather skip the talk and just fuck. kissing for those that don't do it but will do everything else, perhaps want to keep the emotional intimacy out of it. they just want to get their rocks off and avoid getting attached to the person they are doing it with. that's my guess. kissing, just kissing, inevitably changes a relationship. it's incredibly romantic and profound.

[23LaVerne]

I really understand both viewpoints explored here...still, I must admit that in my mind if one is going to be that intimate with another man/woman is kissing that much more intimate of an act? I just don't think so...Although I am just not into one time encounters (I don't believe that its wrong though but I just can't handle it emotionally), I do understand how someone who is just in it for sex might see kissing as crossing an emotional line. If you believe that sex is part of a loving and profound act, kissing is just the confirmation of the depth of the feelings felt by each partner. Of course, this is coming from someone that still believes in romantic fairy tales...(LOL):tongue:

[blugirl789]

I really understand both viewpoints explored here...still, I must admit that in my mind if one is going to be that intimate with another man/woman is kissing that much more intimate of an act? I just don't think so...Although I am just not into one time encounters (I don't believe that its wrong though but I just can't handle it emotionally), I do understand how someone who is just in it for sex might see kissing as crossing an emotional line. If you believe that sex is part of a loving and profound act, kissing is just the confirmation of the depth of the feelings felt by each partner. Of course, this is coming from someone that still believes in romantic fairy tales...(LOL):tongue:

awe. me too :) i'm a hopeless romantic

[mike1]

I absolutely think it's fear of intimacy. Yet I enjoy a lot of heavy french kissing with someone I don't necessarily think of as a long-term romantic partner. For me, physical intimacy doesn't have to mean any kind of long-term commitment.

[NjbiGuy01]

(Plus I LOVE being underneath NjbiGuy) ~D~

Do you like "being underneath NJbiGuy" or is there a comma missing...?

HMMMMM: "I LOVE being underneath, NJbiGuy"..."I LOVE being underneath NJbiGuy" ? lol.....

In any case, you're too sweet 'D' :).

[bijohnmpls]

Kissing makes sex so much hotter, especially when fucking.

[Paddarick69]

sitting here reading the comments with the new kitten, Blunder, purring like some kinda machine on my lap... whenever I look down and move my face to his he raises his snout and kisses me :)

[blugirl789]

sitting here reading the comments with the new kitten, Blunder, purring like some kinda machine on my lap... whenever I look down and move my face to his he raises his snout and kisses me :)

awe i love my putty tats. and their motorboat purrs, and softer than soft fur, and fuzzy wittle kisses. see. kissing turns me to mush. i'm sure many prefer for their defenses not to turn to mush.

[Paddarick69]

hah! you ARE a romantic, blu! be careful with that, dear :)

I guess I'm weird, I can see how kissing is too intimate for many people who are simply out to get sexual gratification but I've sucked many a face (forgive my 80's-ness) with many a broad (forgive my Mickey Spillane-ness) with whom I had NO romantic designs - why should it be any different with a guy? kissing someone sexy is just hella hot: tongues, squishiness, fluids - it's like going down on a pussy only the pussy licks you back! guffaw

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Kissing to me is one of the more sensual and erotic things Anyone can do, and it turns me on in a heartbeat. In fact, I've only had 2 men who could almost make me cum by kissing me. It was That good with them. :} It arouses the mind, arouns the libido, and makes the adreniline pump beautiful. The old Cat Loooveess kissing..male or Female...:}
I played with a guy yesterday who wasnt into kissing, sucking nipples, or female oral. Sigh. What a boring fuck he was. Big tool or not, he's going to be a one trick pony.....

Cat

[darkeyes]

It is something I have never understood this male reluctance to kiss when having sex with one of their own gender... it is like second nature to me and instinctive.. I suppose there must be women who don't.. but I have never come across them unless they didn't fancy me.. at least never in a private and intimate setting... even the most cursory sexual activity has brought forth a great deal of passionate snogging, and and snogging passionately and wildly, or even just gentle and tender kissing are very pleasurable and fun things to do whether or not any kind of sex comes out of it... sometimes it just isn't possible to have sex.. place and circumstance do limit what we can and can't do very often... but if I fancied sex or was attracted to anyone, and they did me.. male or female.. snogging happened...

[bi4asplay]

If I am riding another guyA deep sexy kiss does raise the intensity of the act.It is very hot. It will bring on an anal climax.

[Harbourshore]

Hello All. First time posting something here, so just wanted to share my experiance/thoughts on the matter.
I think the issue for many (not all) of the bi men and women seems to be crossing that pyhcological "intimacy" line...the oral, anal or other physical activities are all fun and good, but we have been socialized to think of kissing as something that you do with a spouse or partner, not a "friend". Women seem to have less issues with this then men, which is most likely due to women making more of a connection between being sexual and intimate at the same time as compared to men, who seem to be able to seperate the two more easily.
BTW, the bi man that I have known for several years now is the BEST passionate, affectionate kisser I have ever met in my life :) I could spend hours on the couch kissing with him.

[csrakate]

sitting here reading the comments with the new kitten, Blunder, purring like some kinda machine on my lap... whenever I look down and move my face to his he raises his snout and kisses me :)

This just makes me go "Awwwwww!"......Gotta love kitty kisses!!!

[darkeyes]

This just makes me go "Awwwwww!"......Gotta love kitty kisses!!!
Not wen it brings me out in rash, eyes water, have asthma attack and at its worst struggle in panic 2 find me inhalers and me Piriton cos I'm on me own, Mumsie...:eek2:

[cornholejoe]

just depens on who i am with

[bi4asplay]

I am not into any of these things unless a lady is in the mix.If the lady is directing the play I love to JO, am very turned on by giving them both oral, and by being take from behind by both while I give oral to the other.If she desires it a kiss can be nice.If I am swapping cum with him it is hot.

[olmizzou42]

I respect the wishes of the guy I'm with. If he doesn't wantvto kiss, I go along with that. But, I really don't understand why one would suck a cock but shy away from lips and tongue. Tha guy I'm with most often and I kiss passionately and love it.

[biwmtrucker44]

I kiss men from time to time but I don't kiss ashtrays Smoking is a turn off for me if you smoke leave it out sife and chew some gum b 4 u get in bed with meand any kind of bad oder:offtopic::soapbox: other wise kissing is a big part of having sex with any 1, Hugging as well

[therevq]

To kiss. I don't understand the no kissing part at all, it's an important part of foreplay and, quite honestly, a fun activity in it's own right

[elian]

I've never really enjoyed full open mouth kissing with either men OR women, I have bad breath. Maybe I just don't have enough experience kissing, or I'm not really in the moment. BF was trying to slowly ween me into the idea, it wasn't a bad experience. Kind of funny because I find that I am a very "oral" person - always using my mouth for something - necking or kissing or mouthing a lot of other parts, talking, etc. Even regular kissing I like a lot, I just don't have enough experience to relax and properly enjoy a full open mouth kiss with tongue.

[jdfreckle]

I am bisexual but not bi-amorous, so kissing another male is not something I would expect or want to do. I believe that if I were with a man I found attractive and he were clean shaven I might consider it and enjoy it. I am also less likely to kiss females I do not find attractive, so I suppose it is the same issue for me with both men and women.

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Personally, I'd like to be under BHS as shes being under NJbiGuy.....
OH Shit! Is this thing ON????
*Runs b'hind the couch...peers out from underneath*...LOL
Hugs, Ya'll.
Cat being silly.:}

[westphillyguy]

I love to kiss. That is all. ;-)

[Bisexual Explorer]

I'm very oral and love kissing - before, during (assuming my mouth isn't otherwise occupied), and after (e.g., snow balling). In my experience, all women and most men love to kiss as well. It's very erotic and creates an emotional bond with my partner(s). I'm OK if my male partner doesn't want to kiss so long as he's otherwise really into the experience. I have found that as a general rule, guys who do kiss are much better partners than those who don't.
Bisexual Explorer

[sodacan3]

I think that the thing here is that some people can perceive a difference between sex and lovemaking. In lovemaking, a person communicates love through pleasuring the partner. In sex, it is just about the pleasure and there is no emotional attachment. Perhaps it is more akin to mutual masturbation. For those men, the attraction is just about the cock. The only interest the guy has for another guy is from the waist down and the knees up. In this culture, kissing, for many guys, is an activity that signifies an emotional attachment. If a guy is only looking for the masturbation-like sex, kissing would be a no-no. This is especially true if the guy is married and truly loves his wife, but wants the mutual masturbation experience of cock sex. Kissing then becomes a threat, a signal of a romantic relationship that the married guy does not want to develop. I think that this kind of non-kissing bisexual is prevalent. I have chatted with numerous guys like this online here and on other websites, so I am amazed that I haven't seen more responses from them replying to this post.

[topper99florida]

So I'm a little late to this post - just joined up yesterday - but kissing works sometimes, and sometimes it doesn't. On my very first male tryst, we lip-locked even before the pants came down. We were both hungry for it, and it just came naturally. On my last adventure, neither one of us seemed to be interested in it. We were maybe too interested in just getting off? The difference is lovemaking vs. sex I think. Really wanting to be there and explore every inch of his body vs. just needing to feel cock. When it works, it works. When it doesn't, it doesn't.

[tenni]

I think that the thing here is that some people can perceive a difference between sex and lovemaking. In lovemaking, a person communicates love through pleasuring the partner. In sex, it is just about the pleasure and there is no emotional attachment. Perhaps it is more akin to mutual masturbation. For those men, the attraction is just about the cock. The only interest the guy has for another guy is from the waist down and the knees up. In this culture, kissing, for many guys, is an activity that signifies an emotional attachment. If a guy is only looking for the masturbation-like sex, kissing would be a no-no. This is especially true if the guy is married and truly loves his wife, but wants the mutual masturbation experience of cock sex. Kissing then becomes a threat, a signal of a romantic relationship that the married guy does not want to develop. I think that this kind of non-kissing bisexual is prevalent. I have chatted with numerous guys like this online here and on other websites, so I am amazed that I haven't seen more responses from them replying to this post.


I agree with a lot that you post Soda. However, there are a few of us bisexual men who make love to whomever we are being intimate with rather than just focus on the cock. We can do this without emotion or romance and the gender of the person doesn't matter. We make love with all of our body/mind and prefer to make love to the person's entire body in a sensual pleasurable interaction. Kissing and touch becomes very essential to this act. I suspect that we are in a minority but there are such bisexual men.

[darkeyes]

Actually tenni, find mesel in agreement wivya... snoggin' is part of the whole... or shud b.. its luffly... tho do understand wy some guys dont like snoggin guys that much.. all the jaggie stuff on the chin!!!! And dead mice under noses, Gear dear.. *laffs*

Am playin' wivya really, Tenni... and Gear an all... wot I don't like isn't wot others dont like.. even other girls...an' vikki verki.. but me instinct is and always has been to snog.. even in days wen guys wer on the menu... and without a good snogging... sex seems somehow less fun an' not quite complete...

[BootyBuffet]

Love kissing women, but guys kissing . . . just doesn't do it for us. Just one of those things. Doesn't excite her to see it, and it doesn't particularly float my boat, so . . .

[12voltman59]

I am in the camp that if you are otherwise being extremely intimate with someone else in the form of having sex in some manner with them----why not go and kiss them as well??

At first I was not so sure about kissing other guys as well---but once I got over that---I find it really adds so much more to the entire experience---and now have others have said---if someone says they won't kiss--I will pass doing anything else with them as well. I mean, hopefully if you are going to get sexually intimate with another person---I do think that you need to be able to be intimate with them in other ways with one of those ways being to kiss them.

[dubguy]

I can't imagine not kissing when with someone. Kissing a man is totally different from kissing a woman. There's an aggression to it, his stubble rubbing off yours...it's amazing!

[elian]

Personally, I'd like to be under BHS as shes being under NJbiGuy.....
OH Shit! Is this thing ON????


<shakes head>

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jQKzZh-ldCw&t=46s

[loveinit]

I love watching two hot men kiss! It is extremely erotic...

[funin951]

the best part of sex is being able to enjoy all of the other person. if I am really comfortable with anyone, guy or girl, I want to be completely open to them. it took me awhile to be comfortable with this but as my journey has continued I find it very hot.. but as I said. with the right person....

[Gearbox]

Actually tenni, find mesel in agreement wivya... snoggin' is part of the whole... or shud b.. its luffly... tho do understand wy some guys dont like snoggin guys that much.. all the jaggie stuff on the chin!!!! And dead mice under noses, Gear dear.. *laffs*

Am playin' wivya really, Tenni... and Gear an all... wot I don't like isn't wot others dont like.. even other girls...an' vikki verki.. but me instinct is and always has been to snog.. even in days wen guys wer on the menu... and without a good snogging... sex seems somehow less fun an' not quite complete...
I told this bloke yesterday how sexy his mouth is, and he said how he never thought of his mouth as being sexual.:confused: All that a mouth can do during sex and he didn't think that his was sexual? I wonder if he's tried sucking a nipple etc with his cock.lol
For me the lips are sex organs, and it's like having a vagina/cock on show 24/7. Women use lipstic to draw attention to their lips feminising them, and men use hair in a simular way masculinising them. Without my 'dead mouse' I feel less sexy, and I expect the same goes for some women/CD's without lipstick. Stubble on a man is the same as pubes around his cock, and as I love pubes, the same goes for stubble. A womans full ruby red/pink lips are.....well you can guess.lol

Kissing is a form of frottage between any mix of genders, and IMO the more intense kind. It drops that emotional guard that some people have and turns sex from a glorified wank, into 'poper sex'. You fuck the person, not just their body.:tongue:

[ErosUrge]

I think that the thing here is that some people can perceive a difference between sex and lovemaking. In lovemaking, a person communicates love through pleasuring the partner. In sex, it is just about the pleasure and there is no emotional attachment. Perhaps it is more akin to mutual masturbation. For those men, the attraction is just about the cock. The only interest the guy has for another guy is from the waist down and the knees up. In this culture, kissing, for many guys, is an activity that signifies an emotional attachment. If a guy is only looking for the masturbation-like sex, kissing would be a no-no. This is especially true if the guy is married and truly loves his wife, but wants the mutual masturbation experience of cock sex. Kissing then becomes a threat, a signal of a romantic relationship that the married guy does not want to develop. I think that this kind of non-kissing bisexual is prevalent. I have chatted with numerous guys like this online here and on other websites, so I am amazed that I haven't seen more responses from them replying to this post.


I agree with a lot that you post Soda. However, there are a few of us bisexual men who make love to whomever we are being intimate with rather than just focus on the cock. We can do this without emotion or romance and the gender of the person doesn't matter. We make love with all of our body/mind and prefer to make love to the person's entire body in a sensual pleasurable interaction. Kissing and touch becomes very essential to this act. I suspect that we are in a minority but there are such bisexual men.

I agree with you both but wanted to add my own thoughts. I am one of those bi men who doesn't much care for kissing men, yet, it depends. If the person is passionate then kissing is automatic and I enjoy it immensely. There are certain men that I've enjoyed kissing very much. I also love the beauty of intimacy that comes from kissing with someone you love and care for deeply and yet I am able kiss with emotional detachment full of passion and desire that would seem it was for someone I would be in love with. But I understand how some men would be reluctant to because they're unable or unwilling to detach themselves in this way. And then as has already been pointed out, some men just aren't interested in that aspect of it nor with some women either and it's really okay; for whatever reason.

In a sense this has become a bit of a comparison/competition scheme where some men who enjoy it come off sounding that because they do kiss men, this way is superior to those who don't. And to say that just because those who aren't interested in it are "just having a glorified wank" and "you fuck the person, not just their body" as Gear said has merit but it isn't for everyone. Whether I kiss a man or not when I have sex with him, I am totally in the moment and actually there's not a thing wrong with just 'fucking the body' while enjoying the person. But sometimes I have absolutely nothing in common with a person I am sexual with and the moment of sex is all that matters... I still treat them with decency and respect if I associate with them or not. And sometimes, there's nothing else to it...

I very much agree with Topper99's statement...."When it works, it works. When it doesn't, it doesn't." Indeed.

[Gearbox]

@ErosUrge- Well I WOULD put it that way seeing as I prefer kissing sex, wouldn't I?lol
It's not that either is superier 'proper sex' for all, but to me there is a BIG difference. If you just fuck the body and hold off the intimacy of kissing, you may as well be fucking a blow-up doll or having an aided wank. That's great for some and sometimes great for all, but there is a difference.
During a M&S seshion I fuck the body/object, and that's fine. It scratches an itch. But other times I'm more in tune with the person, and call me cheesy if you like, I make love more than fuck.:tongue: During which, there's an extra element there which doesn't figure in 'just a fuck' sex. Maybe it's chemistry?

Some just have more 'itches' to scratch than others.

[tenni]

I agree with you both but wanted to add my own thoughts. I am one of those bi men who doesn't much care for kissing men, yet, it depends. If the person is passionate then kissing is automatic and I enjoy it immensely. There are certain men that I've enjoyed kissing very much. I also love the beauty of intimacy that comes from kissing with someone you love and care for deeply and yet I am able kiss with emotional detachment full of passion and desire that would seem it was for someone I would be in love with. But I understand how some men would be reluctant to because they're unable or unwilling to detach themselves in this way. And then as has already been pointed out, some men just aren't interested in that aspect of it nor with some women either and it's really okay; for whatever reason.



In a sense this has become a bit of a comparison/competition scheme where some men who enjoy it come off sounding that because they do kiss men, this way is superior to those who don't. And to say that just because those who aren't interested in it are "just having a glorified wank" and "you fuck the person, not just their body" as Gear said has merit but it isn't for everyone. Whether I kiss a man or not when I have sex with him, I am totally in the moment and actually there's not a thing wrong with just 'fucking the body' while enjoying the person. But sometimes I have absolutely nothing in common with a person I am sexual with and the moment of sex is all that matters... I still treat them with decency and respect if I associate with them or not. And sometimes, there's nothing else to it...

I very much agree with Topper99's statement...."When it works, it works. When it doesn't, it doesn't." Indeed.


ErosUrge

I had not thought of it as a competition. Certainly there is a comparison. Frequently, I read about biguys posting that they are not into the male body etc. They are only interested in the cock. They do not want to kiss a man. That is quite something different than a biguy who is into making love with another man. The kissing aspect seems to be a part of the concept of making love for some. I agree that if the person is passionate that the kissing can be very enjoyable. What Gear and I are suggesting is another level. It is not just the body that we are making love to but the person. The two bodies and yes minds to some extent are interchanging physical messages of pleasure. It is great that you see it as being "totally in the moment". I can not determine then if what you and your partners experience is the same. All three of us though are referring to something a bit different than a guy who is into cock only..not the man himself. As far as what you may have in common with a person that you are having sex with is that moment of physical and to some extent almost spiritual interaction. It almost seems that when four lips meet they speak physically to each other in non verbal ways. Very few people interact exactly in the same manner as another person. Seeking these interactions and participating in them may be part of why I refer to some bisexuals as Bonobo. Emotion is not necessarily involved but the physical and to some extent spiritual interchange may happen regardless of gender or emotional feelings for the person. The intimacy aspect is there and that seems to be what some guys are not comfortable with.

[NNEIL]

I never thought about it being compitition because I started enjoying it and never took his money after that

[ErosUrge]

@ErosUrge- Well I WOULD put it that way seeing as I prefer kissing sex, wouldn't I?lol
It's not that either is superier 'proper sex' for all, but to me there is a BIG difference. If you just fuck the body and hold off the intimacy of kissing, you may as well be fucking a blow-up doll or having an aided wank. That's great for some and sometimes great for all, but there is a difference.
During a M&S seshion I fuck the body/object, and that's fine. It scratches an itch. But other times I'm more in tune with the person, and call me cheesy if you like, I make love more than fuck.:tongue: During which, there's an extra element there which doesn't figure in 'just a fuck' sex. Maybe it's chemistry?

Some just have more 'itches' to scratch than others.





ErosUrge

I had not thought of it as a competition. Certainly there is a comparison. Frequently, I read about biguys posting that they are not into the male body etc. They are only interested in the cock. They do not want to kiss a man. That is quite something different than a biguy who is into making love with another man. The kissing aspect seems to be a part of the concept of making love for some. I agree that if the person is passionate that the kissing can be very enjoyable. What Gear and I are suggesting is another level. It is not just the body that we are making love to but the person. The two bodies and yes minds to some extent are interchanging physical messages of pleasure. It is great that you see it as being "totally in the moment". I can not determine then if what you and your partners experience is the same. All three of us though are referring to something a bit different than a guy who is into cock only..not the man himself. As far as what you may have in common with a person that you are having sex with is that moment of physical and to some extent almost spiritual interaction. It almost seems that when four lips meet they speak physically to each other in non verbal ways. Very few people interact exactly in the same manner as another person. Seeking these interactions and participating in them may be part of why I refer to some bisexuals as Bonobo. Emotion is not necessarily involved but the physical and to some extent spiritual interchange may happen regardless of gender or emotional feelings for the person. The intimacy aspect is there and that seems to be what some guys are not comfortable with.

First of all, I didn't mean to offend anyone and in particular Gear and I do see how I came off a bit testy...

Tenni, you and I are so very similar in our thoughts and feelings about the sexual. I feel that any time the sexual is going on with any human being that it's sacred whether casual or otherwise. My reason for thinking and feeling this way is that everyone in those moments is wanting that amazing feeling of letting go to the senses. No doubt there are varying degrees of quality of experience or lack of....but everyone wants that blissful experience that comes when we are in those moments. I agree with you both that kissing does bring on another experience that isn't there when it's sex only. Yet I've had many moments of complete sexual ecstasy even when kissing wasn't involved as did the other person. And this has happened on more than one occasion. When I've been in love, the kissing has always made the moment so intoxicating and have felt as though our bodies melted into one and our souls or whatever name you can give it became one....When it's been only for the pure enjoyment of the sexual whether kissing or not and when both are in the moment with passion, I have felt that ecstasy I mentioned earlier. It is different than when being in love with someone, but it is very potent just the same. It's a very blissful state of being. And when a casual quickie happens, though it falls short of the experiences mentioned above, it still is a moment that gives us pause and a taste of something more that is possible.

I don't think you're cheesy in the least GEAR; I've admired many of your comments. I'm glad you and Tenni are both here.

[Devinn1972]

I haven't had many bi experiences but the last time (it was with a friend) I had, we spent a lot of the time kissing and french-kissing. It was awesome and something I always wanted to do with another guy. I've always been of the opinion that if you're engaged in sexual activity, kissing is pretty mild. I don't mean to imply that kissing is "nothing" but in the act of sex it seems to be just a natural form of lust/affection/desire/etc.

That experience with my friend was made 100 times more intense due to the kissing. It's one of my favorite memories.

[theartofcontrol]

Well I'm still a virgin member...but I can't imagine not kissing

[stillman234]

I seem to be in the minority here, the thought of kissing another man freaks me out. I have zero interest in that. All I'm interested in is sucking cock and licking balls. I even cringe at excessive hands roaming all over my body touching me everywhere. And it's not lack of intimacy, it's a lack of attraction. I adore kissing and being touching everywhere with my wife, but I have zero attraction to men's body in general. I just love the look of a nice cock and enjoy the sensation of it in my mouth. So I suppose my label is "bi-curious", but most bicurious guys are attracted in some way to males. There's got to be alot of guys like me. Maybe I use men as a poor substitute for sex with women, who will always be my first choice. For me the biggest turn on is sucking a guy and having him cum in my mouth. Knowing I did something that made him feel good.

[Shuggah]

When I first ever decided to follow my Bi side, kissing other boys was the norm, it was sweet and tender but then got frantic and wet as our sexual fever took us away to reals of pure sensual pleasure. As time rolled the kissing became more selective even tho the sucking, rimming and fucking were as ever just as intense as of old time past.

I like to spend time with my bedmate, no Wham Bam Thank you Ma,am for me.

[acscomps]

I seem to be in the minority here, the thought of kissing another man freaks me out. I have zero interest in that. All I'm interested in is sucking cock and licking balls. I even cringe at excessive hands roaming all over my body touching me everywhere. And it's not lack of intimacy, it's a lack of attraction. I adore kissing and being touching everywhere with my wife, but I have zero attraction to men's body in general. I just love the look of a nice cock and enjoy the sensation of it in my mouth. So I suppose my label is "bi-curious", but most bicurious guys are attracted in some way to males. There's got to be alot of guys like me. Maybe I use men as a poor substitute for sex with women, who will always be my first choice. For me the biggest turn on is sucking a guy and having him cum in my mouth. Knowing I did something that made him feel good.

I feel exactly the same way. Don't know if that would ever change. To me kissing is an expression of love, which I reserve for my wife. I love kissing with her, but have no interest kissing anyone else, including other women.

[Realist]

I've been in differing types of relationships with males...romantic, less romantic, even platonic. I've pretty much gone with the flow. My preferences would be to have one, or two partners, get to know them well, and have a romantic connection. Kissing's good for me.

[riptide212]

im very bi, and i do have experience, but i havent been with a guy that i wanted to kiss or maybe im evolving as a bi man, i love th e whole sex thing, i guess what i need to do is find more than just a sex thing.. im not sure why i am reversed engineered on this so far lol

[Sweet!Oh!Henry]

You'll know if the right guy comes along because he'll clear the air immediately about kissing. And if you're not sure then close your eyes let it happen then experience it yourself.

[elian]

Hmm, well I was never a big fan of open mouth kissing to start with, even with girls and I have bad breath so it has taken me a while to come around. Like Eddie Murphy said, "When you 18 there's only ONE look on your face 'cause you surprised you f'---ing her.

At first I didn't really like the feel of the stubble but a few friends have brought me around to enjoying it more. It's nice to take the time to umm..appreciate someone. ;)

http://youtu.be/-GyvL2SJq5g?t=9m13s (http://youtu.be/-GyvL2SJq5g?t=9m12s) (R Rated)

[stonebow]

I have been with some men whom I did not kiss...but those were usually brief encounters, gloryholes and so on and not the sort of activity I'm into these days.

I'm kind of surprised that I don't recall the first man I kissed..guess it didn't seem like such a milestone at the time. Now I can scarcely imagine having sex with a man and NOT kissing. I don't mind the facial hair too much either as I have some of my own so who am I to object? Never been with a really heavy bearded man..doesn't do anything for me. Having said that I wouldn't pass up the chance to experience it.

[semod]

I'm one of those who's just interested in below the waist play.

[jamier58]

Yes kissing is a big part of having sex. I love a good tounge in me, sometime my wife stick her tounge in me and i go wild, just love it

[diklover]

Kissing during foreplay sets the tone for the sex to follow... passionate kissing makes the whole experience much hotter! I like sex without it, but it is more satisfying when you make out, especially when you shower together!

[firebird19]

The feu guys that I been with were not kissers , But one of them did kiss me and I love it and ask him why he dident do it be for and he said that ,he would rether have my lips on other things.

[VZR1800]

My ultimate desire, aside from sucking cock until it fills me up, is for someone to take my load, then kiss me passionately and give it all back to me. That would be totally over-the-top awesome.

I agree, how can you have really great sex without kissing? Mouth, neck, wherever? I just cannot imagine that.

[midmobi52]

women are better kissers, I have kissed a few men,, however seeing a woman excites me, for some reason seeing a cock makes me weak and I will please him any way he wants me to. Which isn't often due to being deep in the closet. I have kissed and cuddled, just given someone head, and had the guy that pulled my pants down and took my ass.

[lizard-lix]

Yes it's fascinating!:tongue: How some LOVE getting fucked, sucked, licked, rimmed etc, think it's awesome if you slap your cock across their face, ram it in their mouths, down their throats, cum in their face, in their mouth etc..........BUT gently press your lips against theirs and they act like high school closet lesbians on a date rape.:rolleyes:
I can't relate to it either. I wouldn't have sex with a woman who I didn't want to kiss, and same goes for men too.

While we're on the subject...:rolleyes:....men who are not attracted to men, but like cock. How does that work? They only meet at gloryholes? Are there any bi women who are not attracted to women, but like vagina's? Any men like that too?
Would 'only like cock' bi's suck absolutely anybodies cock no matter how grotesque or handsome the owner may be? Or would they chose the handsome ones, even though attraction is no issue?

I don't know. It's fun to ponder though.:confused:

Wow a thread revival and Geary's post says it all..

Yeah, funny how some guys are about kissing guys..

I've been with both kinds (needless to say I am good with it, but can be OK without it).

It seems that some guys just don't feel that "getting fucked, sucked, licked, rimmed etc" is intimate, but kissing is, and they want sex with guys, not intimacy... Go figure...

Different strokes, in every way!

[mickitv]

I certainly agree that kissing is all part of the romantic experience of being with a man or a woman. It often provides for me the spark for the passion of sex.

[DMercator]

I have to admit that kissing another guy was something that made me uncomfortable. I'd be hard pressed to say why. A part of me just pulled back whenever it happened. But then, last year I was with an older more experienced guy a few times and was determined to give myself to him in any way he wanted me. I let myself go and the kissing got better as we went a long. Still not at the point where I mentally and physically respond to kissing a man the way I do a woman, but it's moving in the right direction.

[Bluehill]

When I first started having sex with guys I would never kiss them! As time went on I got more relaxed about it and have been complemented on my kisses by both men and women.

I think though in my case at least that with men it is sex (not just sex, but sex glorious unhibited sex!) and not love. I don't really love men in the same way I love women! That said there was this guy once and after our second meet I was falling for him big time and I rather foolishly broke things off with him - something I have regretted ever since...

[Electricblue]

I have found some are good with it, enjoy it but others get all weird like hmmm I have my dick in his ass but ass long as we don't kiss I'm not gay or bi? Its retarded, I like being sensual kissing and cuddling don't scare me, it makes me crazy horny!

[man4girlgirl4man]

I'm totally into kissing. Both a woman and a man. But some guys - tops usually - won't kiss. Which is silly to me but hey we all have our own sexual preferences

[Outofthis99999]

I was the same. Didn't like kissing men until I met a guy my age and I love it now. So passionate and really turns me on

[charles-smythe]

I've been picking up on this whole kissing versus not kissing deal among the man bi's... hard for me to relate to - how the heck do you have sex with someone and not be affectionate?! I'm understanding, though, everyone's sexuality runs differently, soooo it's something I'll probably have to adjust to... it's still weird to me, my one adult male lover I kissed HUNGRILY! (and one of my two adolescent boy lovers, too)

hey now! I was an adolescent boy too, so don't go thinking I'm aqualung or something! ;)
…I suppose it’s a little hypocritical…because I’ll suck a guy’s cock…but the mere thought of kissing a guy makes me cringe…

[marc_nola]

Kissing to me, whether female or male is the most intimate, erotic touch one can have. Long smooches, lips touching, caressing and tongues touching...true estacy!

[lv69cpl69]

Nope kissing is for my wife and I only