To bareback or not to bareback ........

[i_shoot_blanks]

I received an e-mail this morning (on another site) from a gay man asking if I would like to hook up. I checked his profile and it said he was versatile. He is a retired nurse and believe that he is probably clean and d/d free. In the narrative he was adamant that he wanted only "bareback". What's your choice??? Would you do it???? Any experiences????

[i_shoot_blanks]

My response was a real cop out. I told him I would love to get together, but his home on the other side of town was just too far away.

[mnTIMIDguy]

These sites work best for a person if the person is clear on what he does and does not find appealing. Of course you want to be respectful in how you say something, but you need not be uncomfortable in telling someone that something is not for you.

[a2smith09]

Smart choice! Don't get me wrong, I love anal sex and bareback is my favorite way to do it. However it is unsafe and risky so I'll never bareback with a casual encounter, a first time, someone I don't know real well and aren't real comfortable with, trust, or am sure of their status. Heck I don't practice safe anal sex either unless those conditions are met. When and if we ever bareback is way down the road in any relationship I have with another person. So I think it's wise of you to pass it up. Someone who practices unsafe sex is too risky for me to begin with so I avoid them anyway. Though you might want to be honest with them and let them know that you find that type of behavior too risky. Maybe they'll reflect on it and change their behavior.

[Long Duck Dong]

I would say the same as a2smith........

I have the hard and fast rule of trust nobody, for the simple reason that believing they are disease free is not the same as being disease free....and a std test is only as good as the time the blood was taken.... there have been a few people I have known over the years that have believed they were disease free cos they got tested, and were getting treatment for stds a week later....they got infected after the blood was taken... and while that is not that common, it still happens.....

if you have any doubts, trust ya gut, you may never know if you were right or not, but its better than having a pos test and finding out that you were right, but ignored ya gut instinct

[tenni]

"In the narrative he was adamant that he wanted only "bareback"

If this is all that he wants, run away fast.

Simply tell him that you do not bareback(even if you might with another person that you knew intimately on going for a long time.)

In your own case, you do not ejaculate as I understand. I would suspect that your chances of being safer as a top for your partner if you barebacked? (not so the other way around with you as a bottom). I suppose there might be a slight danger with you as the top if you had a cut on your penis and he was internally bleeding in anyway.

Bottom line is my first statement. Imo.. Know your partner really, really well and any unknown person who says that they are only interested in bareback is a very very bad sign to do any sexual activity with...just a wrong attitude imo. The term " bug chaser" comes to mind.

I personally, refuse to do anal at this time and never as a bottom. As someone said to me a long time ago..."my poop shoot is a one way street". (and he was a hetero and far too young to be thinking about colonoscopies...lol :yikes2:..stage 3 pre colon cancer person at one time here... healthy now..I think)

[biguy71]

I definitely think it's a good idea to use a condom whenever you're with someone you are not actually in a relationship with. I always do, whether they are male or female, and not being okay with that is definitely a deal breaker for me.

[12voltman59]

I have to second what everyone else has said---it might be fun and preferable to bareback---but the reality is---its not worth it to do that with someone you just meet---and that he insists on doing bareback and won't even consider "playing safe" then that is pretty circumspect and is actually something to be concerned with.

From what I am gathering, there is an underlying movement of sorts in the gay community that promotes the idea that since we now have "the cocktail" of meds that can pretty well keep HIV/AIDS in check and allows one to live a long time, there is nothing to fear from becoming HIV poz--in fact---if you are such--then you can go back and have sex without worry with other poz guys---having sex in the balls on, no holds barred sort of sex that is gay sex at its best, so one should actually go ahead and become positive so gay men can get "down and dirty" with their sex again as they once did, in the pre-HIV/AIDS days. Guys with this view have definitely declared their desire to be free of the "tyranny" and limitations of sex with a condom that they want no part of.

That said----I do think that if you have your man on man sex in a more casual and limited way----and don't subscribe to this "ideology"--then you surely want to either play safe----if you do anal sex with someone you just met----then condoms have to be used---or you get with a safe and trusted partner and feel its worth going bareback with that person---this is the best way to approach things. Hooking up and going bareback with someone you are meeting for the first time is surely not a good idea.

[falcondfw]

I agree with the majority here.
If you do not have a history with this person and there are no "proof of cleanliness certificates", and even those can be faked, use a condom. The risk of HPV, HIV, or AIDS just isn't worth it.

[Gearbox]

Lets face it! Who wouldn't like to bareback? That's the natural way to have sex, as it makes use of all those nerve endings giving you the FULL sensual experience.
STD's etc messed that up good & proper, so it's best to use a condom no matter how tempting it is not too, with casual sex.

[anacsa]

No one has mentioned oral sex yet, does everyone feel the same about condom use when giving head as well? is there any good research that shows if barebacking anal or oral is equally risky?

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Well..I may come off sounding like a prude in this matter, but in my humble opinion, Not In This Day and Age unless you know someone Very well.
Just my thought on the matter Darlin.
Hugzzz
Cat

[falcondfw]

No one has mentioned oral sex yet, does everyone feel the same about condom use when giving head as well? is there any good research that shows if barebacking anal or oral is equally risky?

agreed anacsa.

[ALMOE]

No glove, no love.:2cents:

[michel]

You did the right thing. I date only married or recently divorce men. And even then, our relationship has to have developed for some time before I let him do me bareback. But, trust me, there is nothing like it.

[dick_pumper]

As far as oral sex without a condom, you are far less at risk for HIV if you are the suckee. If you are blowing the guy and he shoots in your mouth, and he is infected, and you have cuts in your mouth, then you run a higher risk, but from what I've read, even if he was pos and you swallowed his cum the odds are very slight that you would contract anything. However, if he has genital warts or the clap or syphilius and you put his raw cock into your mouth, then you are playing with fire.

[curiousOnt]

I have a chance coming up to blow a guy that has been married for a while.....we are both curious about oral and I don't want to use a condom and want to swallow him....he is OK with that and he says he is clean and has never done anything except with his wife..........would you do it?

[dick_pumper]

CuriousOnt, I would . As long as you know there is no other STD's, then a raw blow job is ok. HIV will not survive the stomach acids and from what I read. There has never been a case that a man got HIV from sucking another mans penis. So I would say suck til you are blue in the face or he blows in your mouth, and bottoms up

[curiousOnt]

thanks d_p.........I can't wait to give my first blowjob........

[cornholejoe]

with causal sex its condoms if it is someone i have known awhile i will bareback

[luvtocum]

Yep, no ones tapping my ass unless i know they are safe. Luckly for me i have had the same 3 guys for many years now, they are all in the closet married so am i. But its always bareback with us!!!!!!!!

[Indyguy]

Unless your pleasure is getting a urinary track infection, which would be the least of your worries, than do not do it.

[i_shoot_blanks]

I'm with Indyguy. I once (several years ago) picked up a urinary track infection from of all people, my wife, and that was an accident because my aim was a little low!!!!