Bisexual Men: Is it Social or really an Attraction?

[The Bisexual Virgin]

Ok I am asking this question because I was on another website discussing bisexual men, and the women there were discussing how they would dump their boyfriends if they ever found out he was bisexual, and they went on saying how they would never date a bi man because they don't feel that he is honest when he say he finds women attractive, and will only use her as a beard, or a cover, or basically use her to make babies with, because society says so, and their true desires are really men to the fullest degree.

So since I know little to no bisexual men: Is it true that some bisexual men may prefer women as a social thing, meaning they really don't find her attractive but will deal with her because society says so, and they really prefer men for sexual reasons that women cannot provide? or they are really attracted to both sexes?

[tenni]

I think what you are being presented with are biphobic and confused thoughts. If you take the meaning of a bisexual whether they are male or female and compare it to these statements you should see the falacies. 1/ a bisexual is attracted to both men and women sexually and /or emotionally. What they may be thinking about when they use words like "beard" are gay men who have not accepted their sexuality and have called themselves bisexual.

2/ true desires are really men to the fullest degree.
the ebb and flow of bisexuality may at times have the bisexual primarily interested in one gender or the other. A bisexual man may throughout his life be more interested in women and no interest in men. He may be more interested in men and less interested in women. He may be equally interested in both genders at the same time. There is no one size fits all with bisexuals ...doncha think(if you think of yourself)
3/ Social thing
I'm not quite sure what they are stating but yes some bisexual men are interested in socializing, marrying women only and have sex with men with no emotional attachment or desire to socialize with the other man.( not all..... some biguys want to socialize with other men and women and have sex with them.) Yes, some bimen want to have children and they also fall in love with women. (not quite what they are stating though is it?)
4/ prefer men because women can not provide what men can.
Yes, of course this is true. If you have been reading the threads, men state that they want cock and some do not care about the man. They just want his cock. In that sense these men prefer men because women do not have cocks. On the other hand, bimen prefer women because they have breasts and vaginas. So, there is only a half truth to the statements

[elian]

So if I understand this correctly they are claiming that some .. ^H^H^H excuse me, I mean ALL "bisexual" men who like men simply use women as a "cover" to appear socially acceptable to their peers? I could go off on a tangent or a tirade or some other word that starts with the letter "T" but I think it would be a lot simpler to just send them the URL to that video that Cat posted in the other thread? ;) Anyone who believes that ALL bisexual men are only in it for the men after watching that video should be ashamed. The human mind loves to simplify things..simple is fast and easy. This works great for things like, "Eek, a large poisonous spider - run, fast, away!" - but not so well for things such as relationships, hormones, love and lust..that's why there's so much "mystery" about such things. Typically ego rules, people act in their best interest. The "cost" of a "relationship" is high in terms of energy, time and resource spent, potential vulnerability, etc. so people tend to analyze these things to death. The beautiful thing is that the payoff is equally valuable.

[The Bisexual Virgin]

What video? I would love to see it.

[elian]

Just so you know, it's "Ecks" rated.. as they say at the Ren Faire, "If your children are laughing, it's not OUR fault!" http://www.bisexual.com/forum/showthread.php?13000-Devotional-threesome&p=230396&viewfull=1#post230396

[Long Duck Dong]

Ok I am asking this question because I was on another website discussing bisexual men, and the women there were discussing how they would dump their boyfriends if they ever found out he was bisexual, and they went on saying how they would never date a bi man because they don't feel that he is honest when he say he finds women attractive, and will only use her as a beard, or a cover, or basically use her to make babies with, because society says so, and their true desires are really men to the fullest degree.

So since I know little to no bisexual men: Is it true that some bisexual men may prefer women as a social thing, meaning they really don't find her attractive but will deal with her because society says so, and they really prefer men for sexual reasons that women cannot provide? or they are really attracted to both sexes?

it honestly depends on the person..... there is no way to say aye or nay without saying that they are wrong and the version of bisexual males that we want people to see, is the correct one....... and because every bisexual is different, you will get differing responses that are more based around a persons personal viewpoint of bisexuality and how they want you to see bisexuality....

the type of bisexual that the females are generally refering to is the more gay bisexual that leans more to the gay side than the hetero side and can act in the manner that they talk about, so yes, again there is some truth in what they are saying, some mostly gay bisexuals can act in the way they are talking about..... but it sounds like they may be reading things wrong with bisexual males and thinking that the interest and desire in other guys penises, is the dominating aspect of the sexuality because of the way that some bisexual males talk about how they can not live without cock, and applying that to all bisexual males

but what does stand out to me, is not biphobic thinking or behievour, it is what they are actually saying, they want a guy that they can trust when the guy says he is genuinely interested in them as a person and a partner.. and not a partner that they feel, is not being honest with them or that they feel, is not being truthful with them...... and while you will find that there are heterosexual males that are also not completely honest with their partners.... its often for different reasons...

I can not help but wonder how many of those ladies have had bad experiences with bisexual males or know of people that do, cos what they are saying, reads like that may be the case and I have lost count of the times when I have said that it only takes one bad experience with a bisexual male, to make the rest of the bi males look bad....

[12voltman59]

Those women that you speak of, they are locked into the culture's widely held paradigm regarding male bisexuality---namely that such a thing really does not and cannot possibly exist--and the paradigm also holding that men who say they are "bisexual" are one of several things--just trying to be cool and such about their open mindedness, they want their wife or girlfriend and another chick to get it on with him, the guys are merely deluding themselves about that fact that they are actually gay and other such things.

If you do stay here for awhile, read through the years worth of postings made by many of us past and present---you will see that there is no set definitions as to what the true nature of bisexuality is---like many things in life and especially when it comes to the variability of human beings---the way that bisexuality plays out in our lives--is as unique and individual as we are as people and none of us and the way we are can fit in some small, neatly proscribed box.

I know for myself----just like with God, religion and spirituality---I have my own views, definitions, etc when it comes to how bisexuality works and plays out in my life and I am sure that even though there are many things we will disagree on when it comes to this subject---we can all agree on what I have just said about our diversity.

Sadly---like with most things---with those who define our cultural parameters and those who follow those dictates, they like to put everything into neatly described packages and when it comes to male bisexuality--the standard take, as I said--is that male bisexuality really doesn't exist and is either a dodge or a convenient place to say we are since we are such total horn dogs that want to get our homosexual sex--while hiding behind our ladies (if we have them) aprons.

[Gearbox]

I can not help but wonder how many of those ladies have had bad experiences with bisexual males or know of people that do, cos what they are saying, reads like that may be the case and I have lost count of the times when I have said that it only takes one bad experience with a bisexual male, to make the rest of the bi males look bad....
Their explanation is that they don't believe bi males are attracted to both genders and they are really gay. There are no male bisexuals. That is what they are actually saying.
So ANY experience with a bi male would be a bad one in their eyes, because they'd believe him to be a closeted homosexual.

We may have homosexuals to thank for that? Or we may just call a spade a spade and those women biphobic, with no truth in what they say at all?
They need to watch more bi porn.:bigrin:

[bib4u]

There are many married, bisexual males and females that truly love and adore their wives and husbands, in every way possible! Having an affinity towards both sexes is not uncommon and has been "happening" ...forever and will continue...live with it, if there is something you believe needs changing, do your best to change it, if you can't, change your attitude.

[void()]

As a married bisexual man I respond. Have been married to my wife for twelve years. I genuinely love her, love having sex with her, still have erotic dreams where she is the only female object of desire. I also genuinely love, love having sex with, and have erotic dreams where my boyfriend of about five years is the only masculine object of desire. There is no one over the other. I love both equally. I love each one respectively of themselves just as they each exist.

Been bisexual as long as I can recall living. Really have not changed much. I can/do love men and/or women equally. I cannot decide which is better. Each has their own foibles, and positive traits in my opinion. I also really cannot decide if transgender folks are better or worse than men, or women. For me people are people, take them as they come and realize each has negatives and positives. I too have negatives and positives. I guess in summary, I simply love people and probably could have sex with, love any person no matter the gender.

As far as society goes, well, it is often perceived that a man of forty and wife of twelve years should have children. I do not and probably never will. At times this does bother me. Then, I realize I mostly live outside of society anyway, no point accepting it as right over how I'm supposed to be perceived. No point in really bothering with much of traditional society. It can drag you under, telling you how to be you, how to buy more useless stuff, how to be a super model and so on. That is not to say I don't have some traditional values, or views. It means though I don't lie awake at night concerned about not measuring up to false standards created by marketers. Happier finding my own path, thanks.

Frankly, getting tired of people asking, "which do you prefer?" They then, assume an answer based on their own agenda/experience and never seem to bother hearing, "I have no real preference." That response should not be too difficult to comprehend, or hear. Apparently it is for a vast horde of folks, though. Let me run it by you slower. 1. People are people. 2. I am passionate and compassionate about people. Sometimes I love them, sometimes hate them. 3. Overall, I have no preference or opinion over whom is better as I view all equally and can only judge, or form opinions on individuals and their actions.