Something quirky.. Male vs Female Toilet Habits

[DuckiesDarling]

http://www.stuff.co.nz/life-style/wellbeing/7166958/Adults-need-toilet-training-too

So what about it? Are you one of those people that just go when you need to go wherever you are? Or are you a die hard gotta have my own porcelain throne to defecate?

[bifemme]

LOL!!! I'm going to have say do it when I need to. KEYWORD: need. Otherwise, I can wait.

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

I'm not so much of a Lady that I cant pee on or In a bush, but for defication, I gots to have a toilet...:}
Cat

[chapear]

When I gotta go, I gotta go.... I'll find the nearest one and handle my business. Oh by the way, it seems to be kind of a shitty topic lol

[darkeyes]

Had 2 laff at the part of the article wer it sez that peeps dont like talkin' bout bladder and bowel probs.. me mum an' me auntie Jean thats bout all they talk 'bout wen under the same roof!! An me dad it wos not unkown for 'im 2 come out of loo and sigh an' "That was a bugger to get out.. suggest u avoid the shunky for a while..." Dont kno if it's cos we are British or wot, but much of our humour is toilet humour and seems 2 me peeps enjoy tellin' the world bout their waterworks an' sewage farm.. an' the older they get.. the more they like doin' it...

[Long Duck Dong]

I remember watching oprah one day.... when they had a doctor talking about how a good bowel movement was a single plop....not plop plop plop, just plop......

so I listened for a few minutes and thought to myself, that I was in serious trouble....

I can just see it now, if I tried for a single plop......

I drop my pants, slap my ass on that toliet seat that has been freshly imported from the bottom of 2000 year old ice in the arctic

adjust my position for maximum impact and sound effects..... then light a smoke while its safe to do so.....

then I wait for the single plop........... light another smoke..... fart... gag, choke, grope blindly for the air freshener and pray that there is still breathable air in the toilet cos I am turning blue.....

grunt.... groan.... turn the full spectrum of red, pink and white ....... grunt some more..... take a deep breath and push again...

reckon that I have having more trouble than a female giving birth....and debate ringing a ambulance.....

fart again.....

then...... no single plop.... just a loud echoing, bowl smashing thud, complete with earth tremours that registar on the Richter scale

curse house mate for hitting my head with the door when he opens it without knocking to see if the throne is vacant....

pick self up off the floor and sit back on the throne........

finally... not a plop but more of a pebble skipping across the water in the toliet as it lacks the density to sink below the surface.......



I never really pay attention to going and the hows, whys and whens of going, just the fact that I need to go........ and I can always repaint the walls later if the paint peels off...... but only if its my house.....

[tnttogether]

I remember watching oprah one day.... when they had a doctor talking about how a good bowel movement was a single plop....not plop plop plop, just plop......

so I listened for a few minutes and thought to myself, that I was in serious trouble....

I can just see it now, if I tried for a single plop......

I drop my pants, slap my ass on that toliet seat that has been freshly imported from the bottom of 2000 year old ice in the arctic

adjust my position for maximum impact and sound effects..... then light a smoke while its safe to do so.....

then I wait for the single plop........... light another smoke..... fart... gag, choke, grope blindly for the air freshener and pray that there is still breathable air in the toilet cos I am turning blue.....

grunt.... groan.... turn the full spectrum of red, pink and white ....... grunt some more..... take a deep breath and push again...

reckon that I have having more trouble than a female giving birth....and debate ringing a ambulance.....

fart again.....

then...... no single plop.... just a loud echoing, bowl smashing thud, complete with earth tremours that registar on the Richter scale

curse house mate for hitting my head with the door when he opens it without knocking to see if the throne is vacant....

pick self up off the floor and sit back on the throne........

finally... not a plop but more of a pebble skipping across the water in the toliet as it lacks the density to sink below the surface.......



I never really pay attention to going and the hows, whys and whens of going, just the fact that I need to go........ and I can always repaint the walls later if the paint peels off...... but only if its my house.....



OMG! LMAO!!! that was great!!! :-)

[Latinomaleaz60]

Interesting Topic,I myself when I have to go I go.I mean I try and Defecate beforehand if I can before I hit the Road but theres times that the feeling just hits me that I have to go now,I just go at it like a normal body function I guess.Whats more a problem to me is when you have to sit on a toilet thats nasty and dirty ewww man,thats when i squat over and do my thing.

[innaminka]

Guilty as charged.
I'll pee anywhere provided public standards are not hopelessly ruined, but, the old No.2 .......
That's private, and no I won't go at a party. (Fortunately I'm brilliantly regular. A morning poo then into the shower. Happens maybe 29 days a month.) .... My wasn't that just something everyone had to know ..... :eek2:

There is a sort of paradox about it. (that place!) I had and still do have regular anal sex. I have been known to do the odd rimming f my lady-love. ......... but actually using that place in the way God designed it - private!!!!

[DuckiesDarling]

LOL Innaminka. I just go when I have to absolutely go as I had some issues from "holding" it but I must admit to being much more comfortable either at home or at parent's. Peeing anywhere though, yep as long as the bathroom's clean we are good to go.

[BiCplAz]

DuckiesDarlin
I've been to NZ and have lots of friends there but evidently it is very isolated. You need to get a life. That's the dumbest subject I have ever seen. Get a new dildo!

[DuckiesDarling]

DuckiesDarlin
I've been to NZ and have lots of friends there but evidently it is very isolated. You need to get a life. That's the dumbest subject I have ever seen. Get a new dildo!

psst Az.. I don't live in NZ i live in Kentucky and apparently the rest of the posters don't agree with you, so perhaps you should avoid the threads that don't interest you. But the subject line alone Something Quirky and the warning of what it was about would have kept you out if you really didn't want to know things :) Have a nice day.

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

You need to get a life. That's the dumbest subject I have ever seen. Get a new dildo.

Wow. Rude much? Who peed in Your V8 this morning? It might have been dumb to You but to the rest of us it was funny. And why the crack about a new dildo?? Just because you dont like a topic doesnt mean you have to respond like a jack wagon. Maybe its You that needs to get a life.
Cat