came out to my daughter

[lightningrod53]

My daughter, whom I had known for a couple years now that she was gay, took me out for a Father's Day breakfast and returned home with me to see my new apartment. After a short session of chit-chat I informed her that I was bi and had accepted this part of my sexuality. As I am single and retired, I told her that I now had the opportunity to explore this, that she was the only one that I had spoken openly to about this (besides this forum) and to keep it to herself because of this highly homophobic and narrow-minded community we live in. She was happy that I have accepted myself totally for who and what I am, and ended the discussion by saying "Ignore the gender, love the person" which I have taken as my personal credo. What a very special, loving, and caring person she is! :)

[apriliasxv]

That's one of the best things I have read on this forum EVER!!! Your a very lucky man who obviously raised your children the right way...

[by~his~side]

Fabulous! :)
Acceptance in the highest form. I'm happy for you, Rod.

~D~

[Realist]

I agree that you're a lucky fellow, Rod, to have the love and support of your daughter.

I wish my family were the same, but I know them too well to expect acceptance.

Good luck!

[lightningrod53]

Thank you all for your kind words. Like I say, only my daughter knows, if the rest of the family knew, well, let's just say I wouldn't have a family.

[elian]

Thank you all for your kind words. Like I say, only my daughter knows, if the rest of the family knew, well, let's just say I wouldn't have a family.

I am glad you were able to share with your daughter, in time maybe your other burden will ease too. Do you really think your family would turn their back on you? I hope not.

[Bishyguy1958]

Lucky man. Congratulations.
My wife is ony now beginning to speak to me again after catching me on here one evening. She never knew I was bi until then.

I don't expect my family will even take it THAT well, if she decides to out me.

[welickit]

No luck involved. Honesty is what did the trick. To bad more people aren't open and honest with each other. The world would be a different place with truth and honesty thrown in. Everyone bitches about being accepted but they hide who they are. Your daughter isn't special.........she is honest. Be proud of her.

[æonpax]

Good for you. I have three daughters and never have hid from them the fact that I'm bisexual. By age seven, I explained it to all of them.

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Kudos Darlin. What a fantastic Father's Day present for you. :}
Hugs
Cat

[pepperjack]

Thank you all for your kind words. Like I say, only my daughter knows, if the rest of the family knew, well, let's just say I wouldn't have a family.

I hope you don't perceive this as unkind but I'm slightly confused. According to your op, you have known for awhile your daughter is gay ( or did I misinterpret this? ) and maybe this is why you decided to come out to her? You say she is the only one that knows about you; likewise,are you the only one that knows about her? Given how intolerant you have portrayed the rest of your family....are you both in the closet?

[Gearbox]

Well it's good to be open in person with even just one person in the world. Your both very fortunate to be as you are in that family and have each other, by the sounds of it.
Hope you do explore your bi side, and enjoy.:)

[lightningrod53]

Knowing that my daughter was gay helped pave the way to my coming out to her, as I deemed she would be accepting, my fear was that her respect for me would diminish because of my sexuality. Quite the contrary, her respect for me would have diminished had I not been totally honest with her, and myself.

[NjbiGuy01]

I have some gay friends. I have been tempted to come out as bi to them, but so far not feeling I need to. I do sometimes sense we have a closeness and an understanding between us that goes unspoken. My wife knows, but thinks I am inactive. We play with many toys and it's close, but not everything I desire unfortunately. We have gotten closer and more open about it over time. I have come out to a former girlfriend who is now gay, which felt terrific. Very few people in my life know, but for now, that's ok. I guess you felt close enough to discuss it with your daughter. It seems an odd choice (to me), but I respect you being open enough and being able to do it.

[bib4u]

Has your family turned their back on your daughter?

[lightningrod53]

Her mother and her Aunt (my sister) knows, the rest of our family lives a great distance from here and we only keep in touch informally.

[darkeyes]

My partner and I are in a civil union and so it would be unlikely if our children did not know, but while the younger is growing up with it, the elder had to be told when we first entered the relationship. It was explained to her when she was but 7 years old and she is a happy well adjusted girl, boy mad, fashion crazy.. in fact had it not been for that girl's insistence in keeping contact with me after a break down in the early days of the relationship, I doubt very much whether we would be where we are today..

It is a difficult thing for many to explain to their children about their sexuality, and it is a brave thing too for many to do so, for many children have the same and worse prejudices having been instilled in them that so many adults do, and it does carry risk.. but for the child of the parent, and the parent of the child to be able to share such a thing is a sign of love and commitment to each other which is a lovely thing, no matter the age of either...

[open2both]

Sooooooooo happy 4 u!

[æonpax]

With respect to the OP....I'd like to hear from guys who came out...to their sons.

[FunE1]

Congratulations! --On two counts: first for raising a very thoughtful and accepting daughter, and second for being brave enough to come out to her. While I have no kids, I find myself coming out, slowly, to more people in my life and discovering it to be a very energizing and freeing process. Hope you discover the same!

jim

[simplexity]

I used to live with my friend, his wife and two kids (I lived in the basement). One day I came home from work early and apparently no one heard me come in. As I headed to the basement, I walked in on one of my goddaughter's friends who was totally topless. I assume they were trying on clothes, as her friend was gonna take some shirts with her. Anyway, I got a full view of her, but I didn't really look away or even really acknowledge it. I just simply went about what I was doing. I am bi, but I tend to get turned on more by men. Also she was about 17, so part of my brain wasn't thinking in sexual terms though she was busty. It seemed that after that, and after she got dressed she was really depressed, at first I thought she was just embarrassed for being naked in front of me. But it seemed everytime I saw her she was looking at me, but looking a bit sad. So later, I tried to assure her it wasn't a big deal etc, and she explained that the reason she was upset was because I didn't seem to react to her body. She was feeling undesirable. And I know that at that age girls can be very self-conscious and the slightest mistake can shatter their fragile sense of self esteem. So I took her aside and explained that she was an attractive young lady, but one, I was too old for her so I couldn't really "look" and also that I was gay (It was easier to say gay than bi, as bi wouldn't really explain why I wasn't responding to her). She didn't believe me at first She assumed I was just trying to make her feel better, so I kinda gave her a peek down my t-shirt to show her the bra I had on, an d she actually cried, because she thought it was sweet that I would come out to her (and risk everyone finding out) in order to let her know that it had nothing to do with her. Unfortunately she told my goddaughter (accidentally) and my goddaughter was shocked, but we had a sit-down talk and I told her about my feelings towards men and how I identify sometimes as female, but I had asked her to keep it to herself, because I think her parents/my friends wouldn't really understand, they are not anti-gay, but they tend to think if you are gay you are open to other perversions. and since I was going to move out eventually, I didn't want to jeopardize anything by coming out too soon. She cried also, but it was a sweet kinda crying, as she hugged me, and said I was brave to tell her (she thought before that her friend was just mistaken, but now she knew it was true). Since then if we are out shopping she'll discreetly show me items on sale that she thinks I may like, or she'll pick something up for me for my bday or the holidays. She admitted to being bi-curious. And she and I have a stronger bond now that she knows everything. She also came to the realisation rather quickly that the gorgeous guy that was always coming over wasn't just a friend from work either. Lol she had a huge crush on him. But yeah we are a lot closer now that we have ever been.

[innaminka]

Well done.
Trust me, folks, coming out at any time is hard - especially to yourself, but coming out to your own children gave me at least, a degree of mental anguish far above anything else.
These are your kids - I'm "Mum." I put it off until there was no other option.
Those who have never done it are really not qualified to pass any judgments.

I was lucky, two educated daughters understood and accepted immediately, because basically they knew................

[Brian]

What a great story lighteningrod!!!!

- Drew :paw:

[lightningrod53]

Thank you all again, for your kind words, and sharing your experiences.