hello every one :)

[spamer-man]

hey i thought it was just so kool how i found this site only a few days after it came to be and already i can tell it has such great potential. i just wanted to say hi to every one and see what was up, i am spamer-man so hello to every one, i am a little new to the hole gay thing (or bi whatever) and i am just now kinda coming out of the closet so here i am every one.

[wienie69]

Hi,

I am so glad to hear that you are coming out. Congratulations. It's a big step. I am so glad there is a resource for bi people to come together.

Wendy :rainbow:

[Brian]

hey i thought it was just so kool how i found this site only a few days after it came to be and already i can tell it has such great potential. i just wanted to say hi to every one and see what was up, i am spamer-man so hello to every one, i am a little new to the hole gay thing (or bi whatever) and i am just now kinda coming out of the closet so here i am every one.Yeah congrats on starting the coming out process Spamer-man! It's a big, and sometimes scary, experience.

I consider myself a pretty introspective and "together" guy - there's not too many things that seriously rattle me - but the whole coming out thing throws me for a loop. I'm partly out only - I can't quite bring myself to tell my parents yet, and to be honest I am not really sure why. What's really strange is that I am fairly sure they would have no issue with it, and as a matter of fact, I am sure they suspect. :suave:

And then of course there is the whole bi thing. Will they be confused when I tell them I am bi rather than gay? Who knows. But anyway, I am working my way up to it... :)

If I were working on a PHD in sociology or psychology, I would study the whole process of coming out. I think it is incredibly complex, and I am sure understanding it better could teach us something about human nature.

[spamer-man]

Yeah congrats on starting the coming out process Spamer-man! It's a big, and sometimes scary, experience.

I consider myself a pretty introspective and "together" guy - there's not too many things that seriously rattle me - but the whole coming out thing throws me for a loop. I'm partly out only - I can't quite bring myself to tell my parents yet, and to be honest I am not really sure why. What's really strange is that I am fairly sure they would have no issue with it, and as a matter of fact, I am sure they suspect. :suave:

And then of course there is the whole bi thing. Will they be confused when I tell them I am bi rather than gay? Who knows. But anyway, I am working my way up to it... :)

If I were working on a PHD in sociology or psychology, I would study the whole process of coming out. I think it is incredibly complex, and I am sure understanding it better could teach us something about human nature.


lol that just gave me a funny idea if homosexuality could be a major wow id pass lol. any way i am not very out yet i dont realy want to come out, i mean i WANT TO but i am just not ready for a while. yes i came out online but every one i know here, all my friends, my dad, peers, just about every one in this town is a homophobe at least thats how it can feel at times. but now and online person i met is from the same town and i am just so afraid she will tell every one and they will hat eme and shun me. i know im being a little drastic but she does have the power to both set me free and destroy me in one fail swoop. my dad is just the biggest broblem though he is a huge and i mean HUGE homophobe and if he found out i am screwed. so just another lost soul with no clue what to do playing the waiting game to see what this chick does (if anything) and if she makes or brakes me.

[m.in.heels&hose]

spamer, i know how you feel, it is the same for me, but in my case, try coming out and telling people your bi, and you enjoy wearing womans clothes! ( a double whammy) lol, but congrats. for your initial step
i have taken a step out of the closet my self, i am very selective as to who i tell that i am bi and my parents have no idea, but i dont live with them or do i live in the same town either! but i still have not forgotten when i did live with them and how i was afraid to tell them! so i do know how you feel

[spamer-man]

spamer, i know how you feel, it is the same for me, but in my case, try coming out and telling people your bi, and you enjoy wearing womans clothes! ( a double whammy) lol, but congrats. for your initial step
i have taken a step out of the closet my self, i am very selective as to who i tell that i am bi and my parents have no idea, but i dont live with them or do i live in the same town either! but i still have not forgotten when i did live with them and how i was afraid to tell them! so i do know how you feel

well thank you for the suport, but about the hole womens clothes thing dont be puting words into my mouth. idk i want to but there are just too many homophobes and fagg haters here so i will wait untill i move out of here to make kind of a new life where i do not have to hide it. i think i will be moving sometime in the next 2 or 2 and a half years, i have some great things going on for me here and all, lots of things i must finnish befor i leave but i do not think i can stay much longer. after i leave i will be fully out evan to my parents i will tell them (i think ill leave a letter that they can read after i leave) and the rest of the world who i truley am but the proper precautions must be taken befor then. well thank you all i love thies places that i can come to and be open about everything with out having anysecrets, and i love you all too.

[Ratchick]

This forum has already made me feel better :)
I am not the only one with these struggles!
Misery does love company. (hee hee)
I started the "comming-out" process abotu 6 months ago.
Gods, it sucks. I have come-out to friends otuside of work only.
1) My mom is in poor health, and althoguh I know she woudl accept me and love me no matter what, I know the stress of her worring about me doing okay in life right now may kill her.
2) My Boss is gay, and does not like Bisexuals too much. I find this is true amungst the homosexual community as a whole, here in my city. People really want to be able to put you in one slot, Not two, and don't really know where to put you in thier heads. Most Homosexuals I run into say "Pick one", or My faveorite," You're a lesbian, but can't admit it". I am not homosexual, this, I know for sure.

[softfruit]

It's only too common - I used to work for an LGB youth project where the project leader was very biphobic. But, like homophobia in wider society, it's gently dying away as the generations come and go.

[Ratchick]

LOL..
Here's a perfect example.
I was chatting with a homosexual friend of mine, he hadn't previously known I was Bi, when I told him, he looks at me and says"Well, thank You for sharing that with me, but come back when you finally realise you are a lesbian"
O
m
G!!!!
I just turned around and walked away.....
I cannot take it anymore!
:) :bounce:

[Brian]

LOL..
Here's a perfect example.
I was chatting with a homosexual friend of mine, he hadn't previously known I was Bi, when I told him, he looks at me and says"Well, thank You for sharing that with me, but come back when you finally realise you are a lesbian"
O
m
G!!!!
I just turned around and walked away.....
I cannot take it anymore!
:) :bounce: Oh my goodness Ratchick - it's shocking that someone would say that to you! Sigh, it's hard to believe that there are folks who are THAT presumptuous [sp?] and close-minded of the idea of a sexual orientation continuum.

There is a flip-side too I think though... I think some completely gay and straight folks are offended when we bisexuals state that "everyone is bi" - as I think some bi folks have said out loud. And I think they are justified in taking offense to such a statement, as I am sure there are many folks in this world who are completely straight or completely gay. I think some bi folks view "100% completely straight" and "100% completely gay" the same way we view the concept of infinity - something that can be approached by never completely reached - but that would not be right in my opinion.

I guess it's like Toko-pa says in her article today (http://main.bisexual.com/forum/showthread.php?t=17):
...not only are we compelled to categorize all things, but we do their complexity further injustice by labeling them. Ultimately, we name things to reassure our insatiable need for definition. (This habit is exemplified in the queer community, with its fattening dictionary of delineation.) But the very act of naming something is a choice that inherently leads to the exclusion of some other, often more exigent, alternative.Well, hopefully increased visibilty by bisexual folks (which I think is happening, slowly), and a greater understanding of bisexuality by both gay and straight folks, will lead to good things for both gay/bi folks (equal rights and an end to discrimination) AND straight folks (greater sexual liberation and a better understanding of their own sexuality).

I once saw an interview on tv here in Canada, where a gay woman writer (I wish I could remember her name) said something to the effect of:
When straight people say, "Why do you gays have to flaunt your sexuality? Why do have to have Pride parades? How would you like it if we straight people had a parade to flaunt our sexuality!", my response is "I would support you enthusiastically!". I would be on the sidewalk cheering on a straight-pride parade! Because what is at the heart of homophobia is really a shame about sex - all kinds of sex, gay or straight. When straight people stop feeling ashamed of their own sexuality, then they will stop discriminating against gay people!

I think that is profound insight. And that is why I see a strong connection between gay/bi rights and the sexual rights of straight folks. I donated some money to this straight woman's fight against anti-dildo laws in Texas (http://www.holisticwisdom.com/joanne-webb-letter.htm), because I think gay, bi or straight; man or woman; sexual rights are universal - the state has no business in the bedrooms of the nation, or in discriminating based on what goes on there. So maybe bisexuals will be the elastic band that binds gay rights to straight sexual rights - a key part of a coalition that stops those who would oppress us all.

Okay, it's official, I'm rambling, so I'll stop now! :o

[spamer-man]

LOL..
Here's a perfect example.
I was chatting with a homosexual friend of mine, he hadn't previously known I was Bi, when I told him, he looks at me and says"Well, thank You for sharing that with me, but come back when you finally realise you are a lesbian"
O
m
G!!!!
I just turned around and walked away.....
I cannot take it anymore!
:) :bounce:



There is a flip-side too I think though... I think some completely gay and straight folks are offended when we bisexuals state that "everyone is bi" - as I think some bi folks have said out loud. And I think they are justified in taking offense to such a statement, as I am sure there are many folks in this world who are completely straight or completely gay. I think some bi folks view "100% completely straight" and "100% completely gay" the same way we view the concept of infinity - something that can be approached by never completely reached - but that would not be right in my opinion.

well like ratchick my bf was a little shocked when he herd i was Bi and not gay but he is exepting, although it was a little ocward for a few moments.... but any way i think i must disagree with what drew said, i am sorry but i do not believe that " everyone is bi " i have herd this many times befor, expecialy with women all women are atracted to other women i just do not believe it there are millions of homophobes so how is every one bi? any way i do not think i have ever had a gay person questioning my about being bi as a straight guy questions me about being gay (did that make any sence?) every one i have talked to is very exepting but i am new to the gay/bi scene and havent had much experiance exept the glb forums but who knows maybe things will change idk

[Brian]

Hi Spamer-man,

Just to be clear... I wasn't saying "everyone is bi". I was saying that I have heard some bi folks say that, and like you, I don't agree with that. I hope that helps clarify what I was trying to say. :)

- Drew

[jo69guy]

I too was very uneasy with coming out. Read my story! Just take your time. You will know when the time is right. It took me over 30 years before I told anybody, outside of a friend/partner way back in high school. Good luck!

Tom

[Brian]

Here's a direct link to Tom's coming out story: http://main.bisexual.com/forum/showthread.php?t=26

It's a VERY good read! I found it it inspiring.

- Drew :paw: