Happy Mothers Day!!!!!

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Happy Mothers Day to all of you Mother's out there, and to our single Fathers as well..Big Muahs!!
:love87:
Yer Cat

[DuckiesDarling]

Thanks Cat and may I say the same to all mothers and to the fathers doing the job of both.

[Long Duck Dong]

happy mothers day to all the ladies out there.....


" When my prayers were early said
Who tucked me in my widdle bed
And spanked my ass till it was red?

Me Mudder

Who lifted me from my cozy cot
And set me on an ice cold pot
And made me pee if I could or not?

Me Mudder

And when the morning light had come
In my widdle crib I dribbled some
Who wiped my tiny little bum?

Me Mudder

Who did my hair so neatly part
And pressed me gently to her heart
And sometimes squeezed till I'd fart

Me Mudder"


"Who looked at me with eyebrows knit,
And neatly had a king size fit,
When in my Sunday clothes me did shit?

Me Mudder.

When at night the bed did squeak,
Me raised me head to have a peek,
Who yelled at me to go to sleep?
Me Fadder."

[Long Duck Dong]

the woman's dictionary


Amnesia: condition that enables a woman who has gone through
labor to have sex again


Bottle Feeding: an opportunity for Daddy to get up at 2am, too


Defense: what you'd better have aroun de yard if you're going
to let de children play outside


Drooling: how teething babies wash their chins


Dumbwaiter: one who asks if the kids would care to order dessert


Family Planning: the art of spacing your children the proper
distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster


Feedback: the inevitable result when the baby doesn't appreciate
the strained carrots


Full Name: what you call your child when you're mad at him


Grandparents: the people who think your children are wonderful
even though they're sure you're not raising them right


Hearsay: what toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word


Impregnable: a woman whose memory of labor is still vivid


Independent: how we want our children to be as long as they
do everything we say


Look Out!: what it's too late for your child to do by the time
you scream it


Prenatal: when your life was still somewhat your own


Prepared Childbirth: a contradiction in terms


Puddle: a small body of water that draws other small bodies
wearing dry shoes into it


Show Off: a child who is more talented than yours


Sterilize: what you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling
it and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it


Storeroom: the distance required between the supermarket aisles
so that children in shopping carts can't quite reach
anything


Temper Tantrums: what you should keep to a minimum so as to not
upset the children


Thunderstorm: a chance to see how many family members can fit
into one bed


Top Bunk: where you should never put a child wearing Superman
jammies


Two-Minute Warning: when the baby's face turns red and she
begins to make those familiar grunting noises


Verbal: able to whine in words


Weaker Sex: the kind you have after the kids have worn you out


Whodunit: none of the kids that live in your house


Whoops: an exclamation that translates roughly into "get a sponge"