Fear of PDA?

[megzz22]

As "old" as I may be, I've never actually been in a relationship with neither a man or woman. But putting that aside, I've always been absolutely horrified with having any sort of PDA with a future girlfriend of mine. It's been a thought I've had for YEARS

I'm just scared, really really scared that in the future when I start dating a girl, I'll be too afraid to hold her hand or kiss her in public because of the reaction the people around us might have. I've always been a fairly quiet person, so I rarely ever have all the attention on me. But even that, I think after awhile I would be able to handle strangers looking at my girlfriend and I if we were holding hands on the subway or something. But I'm terrified of somebody attacking us, somebody who's homophobia might go way beyond just giving us dirty looks. I can take the precautions of carrying pepper spray or other small things that could held defend myself. But it's just having that fear and knowing myself, it might actually damage my relationship with my future girlfriends because I'll be too afraid to hold her hand in public or act like a couple.

Have any of you every experienced something like this? How did you get over your fear and not allow possible homophobic attacks ruin your relationship with your same-sex partners?

[BiDaveDtown]

That's very odd. You're 19 and very young. You have the rest of your life to get into relationships with men and/or women, and date them. You'll eventually get over your fears of PDAs with people of any gender at all.

[slipnslide]

Don't worry about it. Do what feels right in the moment. I don't believe there are that many people in Canada who will judge you that way, let alone put you in a situation where pepper spray is needed. Especially for women. In my opinion, guys are at greater risk and even then the actual threat is very very small.

I'm not sure if I'm just noticing it more, or whether it's happening more, but there are lots of same-sex couples walking around holding hands in Ottawa lately - they seem very comfortable.

Additionally, if you're in a relationship with another girl, and she knows about your fears, chances are she isn't going to make you do anything that you don't want to do.

In the end, relax, take a deep breath. You're young. It'll all work out in time.