Myths about Bisexuality.

[The Bisexual Virgin]

If this thread has already been posted before, then let me say I apologize in advance, of not knowing. But I would like to know what's the top myths about bisexuals that you have heard of and that's not true, in most cases.

The one that I know gets on my nerves is the myth that all bi's are greedy. I really cannot stand that. Or the fact that 'barsexuals' represents us bi ladies, even though I am about 25% lesbian and the other 75% I am straight, but these attention whores really get on my nerves.

[FinkDoodle]

I love the one that says only women can be bisexual . . and that men can only be straight or gay with nothing in between . .

[welickit]

We prefer to ignore myths and concentrate on the realities.

[nutme]

I am way to busy living my life to follow any myths, stories, banners, parades or other tripe, that I really couldn't care less.

[slipnslide]

Not really a myth, more of a misunderstanding, but I have friends who think my sexuality is binary and flips back and forth between heterosexual and homosexual. To them, what's what bisexual means.

[Brian]

There are two that often go hand-in-hand that drive me batty:

1. That bisexuality is a phase - a state of flux. That it is like some subatomic particles - it exists only for a short time, before it collapses into either completely straight or completely gay.

2. That bisexuality is a state of confusion. That it is not so much an attraction to both genders, as confusion over which gender you are really attracted to.

- Drew :paw:

[darkeyes]

There are two that often go hand-in-hand that drive me batty:

1. That bisexuality is a phase - a state of flux. That is like some subatomic particles - it exists only for a short time, before it collapses into either completely straight or completely gay.

2. That bisexuality is a state of confusion. That it is not so much an attraction to both genders, as confusion over which gender you are really attracted to.

- Drew :paw:A myth? Not entirely, Droosy Woosy.. for many.. even most who find themselves not heterosexual, it is the end of a journey to what and who they are.. for others.. me for instance.. it lasted half my life, but inexorably my journey continued to where I am today.. for others it will be a shorter journey, and for some much longer, but they too will reach the terminus and realise that they left their bisexuality behind them and have become homosexual.. others, obviously yourself have a different view.. but that's something we will argue time and again no doubt.. the myth that there is no such thing as bisexuality is a dangerous lie spread by those with no real understanding of human sexuality. It is a part myth, but there is much more than a germ of truth in it...

.. but I do agree with your second point.. I do not believe bisexuality is a state of confusion.. I know I never was confused in the least.. some may be confused about why they feel as they do about two genders.. such confusion usually is because of a perverse and prejudiced negative cultural and moral upbringing and harms people by making them doubt something important about themselves and worse..makes them feel it a sin and something to be ashamed of and suppressed. This also applies to gays and lesbians not only bisexuals.

[Long Duck Dong]

one of the biggest myths and signs of pure ignorance, is that if you are not having sex, you can not be a sexuality..... its simply not true of any sexuality..... but bisexuality is singled out the most as the sexuality that you can not be unless you are sexually active with partners of both genders....

the other that makes me laugh, is that bisexuals have a 7 day a week sex life and a different partner every night... lol it may be true of some bisexuals and indeed other sexualities, but I am not sure that I can name anybody that I have talked with in the last year alone, that has had sex every night with a different partner..... but I have met many people that dream about it

[Jobelorocks]

Well one I tend to get a lot is that since I am bisexual I will sleep with anyone. I have had people think I have no standards and that I am a whore who will sleep with anyone she can get her hands on. So many men as soon as they find out I am bi try to get me to make out with/fondle their girlfriend or wife (and they are shocked when I turn them down on the offer), I generally turn them down due to the fact my sexuality is not for their enjoyment. Although my husband and I swing, we really limit our sexual partners and are very picky on who we get together with. We have been swinging for 2 years now and only have gotten together and played with two couples and one single person. We like to meet people and if we like them see them every once in a while on a regular basis.

[Gearbox]

LOL Jobelorocks! I think that 'Do anybody' myth goes for anybody on any kind of hookup site. But probably more so for bi's though. You become the fantasy bi woman that ALL men have seen in porn: Possessed with a lust that's out of your control, and can only be satisfied with BOTH m&f at the same time.LOL!

That's the myth I love. Not being satisfied with just one gender at a time. A few times I've been asked by men "Did I satisfy you?", and I have to remind them that they were there, and that I helped shower them clean afterwards.LOL!
But I'm sure they think I had to pop out and have sex with a woman later just to get bi satisfaction.:tongue:

[Jobelorocks]

LOL Jobelorocks! I think that 'Do anybody' myth goes for anybody on any kind of hookup site.
Actually, the men I was talking about are like my husband's coworkers or a random guy at a house party. Most people don't know that we are swingers, but think since I'm bi I must want to make out with and fondle their wife or girlfriend. Although on the swinging sites we do have people who ignore the rules we have up and who we ask not to contact us. (then are shocked and offended that we aren't interested)

[Brian]

@darkeyes, You read more into my comment than was intended. I wasn't saying that bisexuality is never a phase, I was saying that it a myth that it is always a phase. For some, bisexuality is a journey from straight to gay, or gay to straight (, or back again), and that is fine by me. The myth, I am saying, is that it is a state that doesn't last for most or all people.

- Drew :paw:

[Long Duck Dong]

lol drew... I have heard people say that bisexuality only exists cos males can not find a female to sleep with them, so they fuck gay guys instead and say that they are bisexual to make it look good......

not sure how that explains the ladies that are bisexual... but I have heard one guy say that females are not bisexual, they just do 3somes so they can get into bed with the guy cos hes hot and they want him.....

oddly enuf, its more males I hear rubbishing bisexuality than the ladies.... but the ladies win hands down when it comes to the very nasty remarks about female bisexuals and I will not repeat them as some of them are very nasty and offensive

[The Bisexual Virgin]

lol drew... I have heard people say that bisexuality only exists cos males can not find a female to sleep with them, so they fuck gay guys instead and say that they are bisexual to make it look good......

not sure how that explains the ladies that are bisexual... but I have heard one guy say that females are not bisexual, they just do 3somes so they can get into bed with the guy cos hes hot and they want him.....

oddly enuf, its more males I hear rubbishing bisexuality than the ladies.... but the ladies win hands down when it comes to the very nasty remarks about female bisexuals and I will not repeat them as some of them are very nasty and offensive

The comment that I highlighted can be very true at times. There are straight women that refuse, and I when say refuse, I mean these women will not touch a knowingly bisexual man with a 10 foot pole. You can go to any search engines and type is "Would a woman date a bisexual man?" click on a few links, and the majority of women will say "HELL NO" I even read comment by a lady saying that "being with a bisexual man is a fate worse than death" and, there are some women that actually believe that.Now I forgot which website it was, but I think it was called plentyoffish.com or something like that.

Look at Atlanta. That's a hot spot full of gay men and bi men, and I was reading a few comments about why are all the bi men are in gay relationships in that city, one particular comment stated "The reason why most bi men end up in gay relationships is because refuse to date a bisexual man." Now I don't live in Atlanta I have only been there a few times, so I don't know if her comment is true or not, but that girl brought a pretty good point.

[axlton]

I love the one that says only women can be bisexual . . and that men can only be straight or gay with nothing in between . .

This one gets me to, and I've been confronted with it by just about every gay guy I've ever been with. Every time it comes up, I say to them
"Really, you know the hearts and minds of others so well that you feel confident saying my sexuality doesn't exist."
"I could just as easily say that gay doesn't exist, that your just a closeted heterosexual living a lie."
"But then we'd both know I was full of shit, just as I know that you're full of shit right now."

I just think it's pretentious for someone to assume they know what is truly going on in my head and my true sexuality. I gues there are more mind readers in this world than I ever guessed. :)

When It comes to guys at least, I'm really starting to think that bi guys should stick to seeing other bi guys and just leave the gay ones completely out, I just get so tired of having to deal with this myth.

[darkeyes]

There are straight women that refuse, and I when say refuse, I mean these women will not touch a knowingly bisexual man with a 10 foot pole.
Interestingly, neither will a remarkably large number of bisexual women.. now thats summat 2 think on...

[The Bisexual Virgin]

Interestingly, neither will a remarkably large number of bisexual women.. now thats summat 2 think on...

Seriously?!? is that kind of ironic, or hypocritical?

[darkeyes]

Seriously?!? is that kind of ironic, or hypocritical?
Seriously... and whether it is hypocritical or not I make no comment.. sexuality and desire are far too complex just to say all are hypocritical... but it is certainly ironic...

[axlton]

Interestingly, neither will a remarkably large number of bisexual women.. now thats summat 2 think on...

You know I realize more everyday just how lucky I am to have a wife that not only accepts and supports my bisexuality but is also willing to let me freely explore my bi sexuality. She even gets turned on hearing details of some of my encounters. I'm starting to realize just how rare that really is and feel like the luckiest man out there.

[darkeyes]

..and of course we have the myth that bisexuality or homosexuality is an illness and curable... here is an interesting snippet...

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2012/apr/12/anti-gay-adverts-boris-johnson

[innaminka]

A myth? Not entirely, Droosy Woosy.. for many.. even most who find themselves not heterosexual, it is the end of a journey to what and who they are.. for others.. me for instance.. it lasted half my life, but inexorably my journey continued to where I am today.. for others it will be a shorter journey, and for some much longer, but they too will reach the terminus and realise that they left their bisexuality behind them and have become homosexual..

.

Thankyou Darkeyes - you have said it perfectly.
For us the journey was not a myth - it was reality.

There is another myth that really gets me - it's quite common in the str8 community :
That being bisexual means you are continually having either MFM or FMF sex: threesomes (or more)

i travelled the journey over many years, and have never had any form of group sex. For those that do - enjoy, but it's certainly not a criteria of bisexuality.

[veryniceguy]

There are straight women that refuse, and I when say refuse, I mean these women will not touch a knowingly bisexual man with a 10 foot pole. You can go to any search engines and type is "Would a woman date a bisexual man?" click on a few links, and the majority of women will say "HELL NO" I even read comment by a lady saying that "being with a bisexual man is a fate worse than death" and, there are some women that actually believe that.Now I forgot which website it was, but I think it was called plentyoffish.com or something like that.


This breaks my heart. I have been dreaming for such an arrangement. I wish it could happen. Knowing that people (women especially) are so close minded, do I ever want to share that I am bi with anyone?

[biblkman]

I hate the preconceived notion that bi's can't be faithful or cheat more than straight people.

[The Bisexual Virgin]

You know I realize more everyday just how lucky I am to have a wife that not only accepts and supports my bisexuality but is also willing to let me freely explore my bi sexuality. She even gets turned on hearing details of some of my encounters. I'm starting to realize just how rare that really is and feel like the luckiest man out there.

You are very lucky indeed. Actually I think most people are very lucky to have an loving understanding partner whether they are gay, straight, or bi in their lives, it sometimes takes a while to realize it.

[tenni]

I'm uncertain as to whether this is a myth or reality.

In order for bisexuals to be accepted in society, bisexuals must join GLBT organizations and be "out" like gay people.

[axlton]

I'm uncertain as to whether this is a myth or reality.

In order for bisexuals to be accepted in society, bisexuals must join GLBT organizations and be "out" like gay people.

I think there is some truth to that, especially for Bisexual men. I'm finding that a lot of guys are bi, but hardly any will admit to it openly. Most seem to be "married and discreet." Because of that I think we are misrepresented by the statistics stating that we only make up %2 of the general population. I think for us to be accepted as a real living entity that actually "exists" not just gay straight or lying many more of us will have to step forward with our stories and make perfectly clear to all that we truly are attracted to both genders.

As to whether or not that will ever happen, I don't know. There is just such a taboo on male bisexuality that it is difficult for the truly bi guys to come out. I honestly think that with the current attitudes it is probably harder for a guy to admit to bisexuality than homosexuality.

[slipnslide]

I'm uncertain as to whether this is a myth or reality.

In order for bisexuals to be accepted in society, bisexuals must join GLBT organizations and be "out" like gay people.

So painfully true.

[The Bisexual Virgin]

I'm uncertain as to whether this is a myth or reality.

In order for bisexuals to be accepted in society, bisexuals must join GLBT organizations and be "out" like gay people.

Why is this?

[zigzig]

I agree

[axlton]

Why is this?


The reason why... So few of us come out that it is easy to dismiss us as nothing more than an aberration, or to go one step further to say that we don't exist at all. Now I can see why straight or gay people take this aproach, it doesn't effect them so why should they spend much of any time thinking and trying to understand sexual orientations other than their own. There are enough straights and gays out there that for the most part they just accept that the other side exists, understanding is not a prerequisite of acceptance. Being stuck in the middle is our lot to face, we don't have to be understood we just have to come out in large enough numbers that people accept us a real entity.

Although, I see Bisexuality as a different beast entirely than Homosexuality, I think it would probably benefit us to start our own advocacy group rather than join the GLBT movement. Not that the GLBT movement is bad per sey, I just think we need to differentiate from that crowd, make our selves more visible and try to stand out on our own.

[a2smith09]

Seriously... and whether it is hypocritical or not I make no comment.. sexuality and desire are far too complex just to say all are hypocritical... but it is certainly ironic...


Well I think it's closer to hypocritical, I wonder why that is? Any idea? I mean its the attitude I find to be most prevalent and one of the reasons I'm not fully out either. I'd love to share the fulll extent of my sexuality with my partner but I've only had two girlfriends who thought it was neat or interesting and enjoyed incorporating my bisexuality in our relationship. Interesting enough neither time did we get married. I think thats one of the reason a good portion of bi guys are in the closet so to speak. Very few of us can find partners that are comfortable with that side of ourselves. Its a shame really.

[Long Duck Dong]

The reason why... So few of us come out that it is easy to dismiss us as nothing more than an aberration, or to go one step further to say that we don't exist at all. Now I can see why straight or gay people take this aproach, it doesn't effect them so why should they spend much of any time thinking and trying to understand sexual orientations other than their own. There are enough straights and gays out there that for the most part they just accept that the other side exists, understanding is not a prerequisite of acceptance. Being stuck in the middle is our lot to face, we don't have to be understood we just have to come out in large enough numbers that people accept us a real entity.

Although, I see Bisexuality as a different beast entirely than Homosexuality, I think it would probably benefit us to start our own advocacy group rather than join the GLBT movement. Not that the GLBT movement is bad per sey, I just think we need to differentiate from that crowd, make our selves more visible and try to stand out on our own.


I like you, axlton...... Now I can see why straight or gay people take this aproach, it doesn't effect them so why should they spend much of any time thinking and trying to understand sexual orientations other than their own

that single statement is one of the truest that I have heard but its one that goes both ways too lol.... many the time I have heard bisexual people say that its about their needs, so their partner should be more understanding.... and my answer is generally " yes, its all about you, but what about your partner "

however, I will be dead honest when I say your statement is so true of many situations, not just sexuality.......


as for standing alone as a bi group can be dangerous...... its happened in NZ, with the bi community and the LGBT community.... the bi community have become rather anti other sexualities, constantly blaming other sexualities for all the issues, and not taking any responsible for their own short comings... where as the LGBT community ( including many bisexuals ) have a more encompassing attitude about things and the LGT often jump in to support and assist the B...... and the B is accepted as a real and valid sexuality.......

but yeah, I agree, the bi community do need to step out on their own and make a name for themselves, but they need to leave the sexuality bashing, finger pointing and biased and bigotry behind... cos it will not help anybody get anywhere...... the trouble there, in NZ, is getting the bi community to actively stand up and be a bloody community and kick things into gear..... something that they are becoming known for NOT doing.... I am still trying to get the bi community to update their bi website after 3 years....