dafydd
Apr 7, 2012, 7:30 AM
i think im in some kind crises, ive spent the last hour in a trance, tapping an on screen keyboard, slower than hell and theorizing something that doesnt seem to need explainig, at the time and now reads like gobble de gook. then spent another correcting typos to create acres of *WTF am i doing with my life?* nonsense splattered across the page. truth is im not myself. and my mania is becoming clear. the problem is an old one that is back again with alatming force. the absence of the emotion now is overwhelming and i ned to ask if any has experienced the same. ive never felt anything for anyone. is that odd? i know i sound like an opinionated sanctamoanious yet wanker (insert frequency) of the time time but im just an innocent whisp who really wants some love before im 35 and dried out. apologies if youre 35 and still moist.prepare for the dessication of your desire as u take a look into my secret confessions of a bipolar bisexual. it might read cold, it felt even colder. i picked up a girl at the brazilian restaurant across the street 2 nights ago. we shared a clove cigerette on my lawn. it was nice. afterward i fucked her in the ass on the sofa by the fish tank, as she smoked another cig and i pretended i was pumping uma thurman on the cover of pulp fiction. i could see my reflection in the glass tank, but not hers. the sex was urgent, no foreplay... and i came too soon but didnt apologise or attempt to please. we lay looking at the fish for a while and then because her talk bored me i iniatiated sex again., mainly so she'd stop talking and her tits wrre great and that seemed to suffce. i went down on her and had a bad asthma attack. it was a really bad one though i remembered feeling relief as soon as it started. when id calmed down, and i used my inhaler she said she had to go. i booked her a cab but made sure there would be enuf to time to engineer a last blow job. it was awkward, she wasny picking up the cues. in the end i simply asked "coulfd you suck me off? just quickly b4 your cab arrives?" i thought she looked confused that id been so frank. though frankly iid simply activated my gay 'u can but ask' lingo chip.. now those words haunt me....their sheer coldness what an epitaph for the evening! in the hallway i helped her to put on her coat. she smiled then bent down in front of me. id alrwady significantly angled my hips forward toward her head when i saw she was simply putting on her shoes. she saw my mistake too, my arrogant assumption. though i still tried to cover it up as a manly farewell pose, like a ships captain setting sail, only i was alrwady adrift. she left me, frozen hips jutting forward, my marrow of an erection feeling now like a smalll shrivelled okra, like when i was 8, and i thought it was just a pee pee tube... my god men.... didnt we all? now it feels like my dick acts only as a greedy Wabberjack, absorbing anything around it that might look like love and understandin, domesticity or even mariage, anything that might threaten its current quality .... no no.. its quantity and variety of service. thats when i theorised urology evolution and the second time man stood on two legs and advanced his species. i need advice/abuse , im ready to just bend over and take what u give. but u dont mind if smoke do u?