The double standard when it cums to sex toys

[biblkman]

I was thinking...why is it that when a woman buys a dildo,vibrator or any other sex toy it's cool, she is seen as a woman who is just trying to get off or seen as a freak...but when it comes to a man buying a flesh light, dildo, but plug or any other sex toy, he is seen as a perv. What's worse is the conditioning that cause us to see men as pervs, I know cause even though I like to be on the receiving end of a but plug or dildo from time to time, I can go into a sex shop and see a guy buying said items my first thought is perv....and than I have to step back and say wait a minute, then I check myself and shed that conditioned state of mind. Just something I noticed.

[Long Duck Dong]

how many times have you heard of the * dirty old men * remarks..?? and within that, lays your answer..... there is the understanding that males will do anything for sex ( something that at times is reinforced by some posts and threads in this site ) and all they need is a hole... any hole.... and you wonder why so many vaccum cleaners blow up :p

it actually has more to do with our own self image more than social conditioning....as we do not want to be seen as freaks and pervs so our automatic reaction is to create a * buffer * between us and them.... we are the clean cut, well presented gentlemen attending to our own personal needs and we are not the dirty, unclean, unshaven guy with the shifty look that has his hand down the front of his pants while he is looking at sex toys and thinking of the local school.......

the image of ourselves as opposed to other people, can be the social construct however.

it all comes down to one simple thing, if we want to do it, if we believe we have a right to do it, if we believe that there is nothing wrong with what we want to do, we will justify it by any means at all..... and we immediately create ( often in our own minds ) a enemy, a opposition that is trying to make us look bad, stand in our way, stop us etc etc......

[axlton]

I don't really have that preconceived notion of guys who buy sex toys as pervs for the very reason you pointed out. I actually have a collection of toys ranging in size from average to OMFG! how does that fit inside a human being :) So, who am I to judge. Though I do know what you mean and have encountered it. It usually doesn't bother me if other people are prudes, that's their business and doesn't effect me at all. Although I did get confronted outside the sex shop once by a couple of guys who wanted to talk shit to my face. They were pretty embarrassed when I up and kicked both of their asses in front of one of their girlfriends. :devil:

[innaminka]

Sort of human nature.
Try being a woman buying a powerful motor-cycle.
Almost immediately, despite what you look like you are "labelled" as some sort of bikie-moll or a butch dyke. (nothing wrong with either - they're just labels)
Again Just human nature.

[drugstore cowboy]

It's only a double standard if you let it be that way for yourself. My partner and I have bought vibrators and other sex toys that are used externally and neither of us felt embarrassed about it, or thought of as perverts by others. Only someone who is closeted about their sexuality would be embarrassed buying a sex toy and owning it or buying one in a store or online.

[slipnslide]

I agree with drugstore. My friends talk about their sex toys - guys and girls - without any judgement as to who is using it.

[bicuriousinmi]

I would think that the odds are if you are buying a toy regardless of who can use it on whom, the people in there shopping who are usually regulars and the clerks too, have seen it all and probably dont pass judgement on anyone or are just as shy about it themselves.

[NjbiGuy01]

I prefer to shop with my partner, so nobody speculates or says anything..... :)

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

lol You should see a bunch of us girls going into a large major toy shop in Tacoma. The one clerk in there actually looks a bit nervous if there like 7 or more of us. Guess the poor man is afraid we'll take him in the back room to sample the goods on Him...LMAO :} Love it..:}
Cat

[csreef]

When I bought my first "toy" I was so nervous...I asked the lady at the counter for some advice. She was an older lady & she smiled at me & said "not to worry as she had heard it all". I had my hands on the counter & she put her hand over mine , which relaxed me greatly. She showed me the toy I should use for the first time & showed me which lube to get also.

For me there wasn't a "Double standard."
:)'s A.

[lovelopez]

Hell I use sex toys on my woman to keep her happy. How many of us out there wouldn't mind it if their woman was confident enough to use a stroke toy on us? Personally I think it'd be hot as hell. I'm by no means intimidated by a dildo bigger than my own dick and if my woman wants to try one- why not? And if there's some toy out there that can milk my cock just as effectively as her wet pussy, same should apply. But but NO means does a toy replace the real thing.

[Realist]

My 2nd wife was a moralistic prude, who loved Tupper-Wear, Home Interior, and cook wear, home demonstration/shows.

One time, she was invited to a home demonstration program, but the hostess didn't tell her what the product was.

There, a lady was showing them all kinds of sexual toys and alluring clothes. In order to not look too condemning, she sat through it. (suffering, I'm sure) When she got home, she ranted and raved about the decadence displayed at the demonstration.

"It was awful, how those women carried on and laughed at those silly objects!" She sneered.

A month, or so after that, I saw a credit card bill for $29.95, for a "Vibratory massaging Device"

When she was confronted about it, she said it helped her Carpal Tunnel issues!

Massaging that Carpal Tunnel spot did seem to tame her disposition, some, but the damned power bill went up!

[DuckiesDarling]

Hell I use sex toys on my woman to keep her happy. How many of us out there wouldn't mind it if their woman was confident enough to use a stroke toy on us? Personally I think it'd be hot as hell. I'm by no means intimidated by a dildo bigger than my own dick and if my woman wants to try one- why not? And if there's some toy out there that can milk my cock just as effectively as her wet pussy, same should apply. But but NO means does a toy replace the real thing.

hmmm guessing most dildos would be bigger than your dick since as a female/female couple you wouldn't have a dick to compare.... nice advertising link as well......

[Realist]

Ha! DD......good detective work, there!

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

LOL You're looking at some normal, everyday guy in Total disgust, thinking 'Pervert!! Sicko!! Deviate slut!!" as you reach for a 5 inch thick, 9 inch long, jelly dildo the size of my Behemoth dong...lol
Talk about double standards! lol
Silly Cat.

[pepperjack]

I feel kind of sorry for my buddy at work who told me his gf had easily replaced him with the toilet paper holder after he broke up with her....in between chuckles:smilies15 of course. He's got a Woody Allen quality about him. :bigrin:

[Implanted]

I love Realist's story of the unsuspecting Tupper-Wear Queen. I wonder how she would have felt about the only Partylight parties my wife and I have been too--The ones where the temperature of the wax is the selling point? One thing I learned there is that men with hairy chests should shave their chest before getting a wax cast of their nipples. Thankfully, this I only observed rather than experienced!!!!

[Implanted]

Oh, and a double standard? I suppose so. It's changing here though. I know a couple of people who work in adult shops, and neither of them really take any notice of that sort of thing any more. It's just sex and we all like it. Some just like it differently than others.

[Jessicaknight]

I don't see it as a double standard

I love to think that there are female pervs as well
to me, being a perv is someone who loves to get off any way they can
or any way that fancies them at the time they are getting off.

I'm a working man who love to make friend. be it neighbors, on line, social or bussiness.
I'm a decent respected person yet I'm a perv
And I don't mix the two

So when I see a man or woman getting themself a sex toy, I see someone who's getting ready for some fun
(Or just buying it for someone)
After all, you must be there for your own sexual (Or may-be even kinky) pleasures

I love lady pervs.

[ErosUrge]

I don't see it as a double standard

I love to think that there are female pervs as well
to me, being a perv is someone who loves to get off any way they can
or any way that fancies them at the time they are getting off.

I'm a working man who love to make friend. be it neighbors, on line, social or bussiness.
I'm a decent respected person yet I'm a perv
And I don't mix the two

So when I see a man or woman getting themself a sex toy, I see someone who's getting ready for some fun
(Or just buying it for someone)
After all, you must be there for your own sexual (Or may-be even kinky) pleasures

I love lady pervs.

I agree...and no doubt you have delicious tastes selecting BellaDonna for your member pic....what a delightfully perverted woman. And I mean that with the utmost respect and awe. A woman who really knows how to let go and enjoy the moment for whatever is going on...