Make love not porn

[Jobelorocks]

I just discovered this site and I love it! Many of our your (and even older folks) have hardcore porn as their sex education and get some false ideas about sex. I have dealt with problem before. It gives a nice series of real world vs. porn world. Remember communication with your sexual partners is key! I thought some of you may like this site. Check it out.

http://makelovenotporn.com/myths/facial

[nutme]

What a bum rush that was. I stripped naked and thought it would be porn without the girls looking into the camera with a mouthful of cock. Damn! Seriously......over the years porn has become less and much less a factor in my alone time sex. I find it tiring, slutty, and just plain stupid for the most part. That's not to say that it can't be a diversion now and then, but frankly the best images to masturbate to, for me, are the ones already had with someone special and just brought to mind again. I would have no problem if the banished porn altogether as it does nothing but give men the idea that women are cock gobbling sluts that love massive cocks pushed into their ass, and all the while whitteling down our own securities of our masculanity to insecurities about the size of our cock.

[MMMCreamPie Plez]

ya i thought it was going to be two people making sweet real love too. But still a very informative site and a very good reason not to use porn as a sex ed.

[Gearbox]

Me too! Where's the 'making love' vids at Jobelorocks?:bigrin:
What annoys be about most porn is the disconnection between the 'actors' having minimum body contact porn sex etc. That moment when the woman turns to the camera with the modern porn compulsory expression that says "Oh Yeh! I can take more than HE got baby! I'm a bad mama super cock whore.", makes you wonder if she really likes sex at all. And if she was genuinely shocked&scared when she saw that massive donkey dick.LOL!
But to be fair, porn does preach that you got to lick that pussy and get your cock sucked before the pussy&anal destruction takes place. Come on! Lets be fair!lol

[Realist]

My GF is divorced because of porn!

Not because her ex watched it, but because he believed she should act exactly like the women in professional videos. He never could get it in his head those videos are make believe, but in reality women usually want much more tenderness and genuine caring in their lovers' approaches. (Notice I said "usually" nothing is set in concrete) My experiences indicate that women are usually less impulsive than we are, in selecting a sexual partner, and they do not like to be second-guessed.

He is straight, she is bisexual, so he thought her goals should be to bait other girls to come home with her, then to satisfy him! My GF wasn't against sharing him with a lover, if her lover indicated she wanted him to join them, but she had no intention of being a procurer. When she tried to explain that her bisexuality wasn't about his fantasies, but about her own personal criteria, he couldn't get it in his head why she didn't want to pimp him out to her lover!

I feel the same way. If I had a male lover and the two of them liked and wanted to be with each other, I would be OK with it. However, I would not specifically look for a fellow, not for myself, but to push him off on her.

OK, here's what I think:

A man might think, "Wow, you're hot! Great ass, Honey.......let's fuck!" (I admit, I thought that way, before I grew up and learned better.)

Conversely, I'd think a lady is more apt to think, "She/he has a beautiful smile, I like her/his attitude, she/he is smart and fun...........maybe a relationship could lead to intimacy."

To be a decent lover, good communication, some common interests, and some chemistry would more likely be in place. Each of us are different, I will accept that, but closed minds and the inability to adapt to different thought processes, (In my view) are not pathways to satisfactory encounters, or relationships.

For 10 years, my GF's ex has retreated to his computer and the fantasies he's found there has become his reality. His life is work, food, computer. Unless he gets his nose out of that screen and returns to the real world, he probably will never have a viable relationship.

[12voltman59]

God--I would hope that people don't really use porn as some sort of SEX ED tool----porn is as far as I am concerned--so laden with so many cliches in each of its categories that render it pretty much a joke. I don't care for watching "porn"--much preferring to watch videos that "regular" people post of themselves at the various site with them either alone or with a partner or partners no matter what sort of sex they have is straight, bisexual, lesbian, gay or trans sex----even if they don't always have very good video or audio quality----I find this to be more of a turn on---especially when its just two people and it is very clear that they are very much "into each other."

I can also say that I spend far more time reading and responding to the posts put up by people or organizations I follow on FaceBook and Twitter than I do watching those home done "porn like" videos--to me---watching those sorts of vids are like eating dessert---its something that I don't do on a regular basis---but as sort of a "treat" and a "guilty pleasure."

[æonpax]

I was once on the West Coast and was involved with a project by a company that made custom porn (if you want to call it that) for overseas parties. Professional staff all around and state-of-the-art equipment. It took about three weeks. It was more of a narrative than porn and was part story. It didn't have much dialogue per se and was dubbed over in a different language anyways. No cliche's.

Those into straight porn or a quick fix, should lurk around 4 Chan or some torrent site where the amateurs are. For everything else, there's Master Card.

[Brian]

As some of you know... I am also a part-time pornographer. I think there is some legitimacy to the criticism of porn.

On the positive side, I think it has acted as a form of "sex education for adults" - or at least it did 15 years ago when the internet really became popular. I think a lot of people who led very limited sex lives had their horizons broadened by easier access to porn. A lot of couples lead much better sex lives today than 20 years ago.

On the negative side, I think it does present a distorted view of human sexuality, perhaps not unlike the professional fashion industry presents a highly distorted view of fashion and women's bodies (super models - yuk). And, in particular, I wonder about teenagers being negatively affected by porn. Anal sex, group sex, bukake, BDSM - these are advanced sexual activities for people who perhaps have moved beyond "put it in and move it all about" sex. I don't think it is good for the still-developing teenaged brain to see a lot of that stuff. If you have kids whom you let surf and haven't set up appropriate parent controls so they have access only to material appropriate for their age then my 2 cents is that you should. But even adults can benefit from understanding that giant tits and cocks are not typical, and real degradation of a sexual partner is not normal, loving behaviour.

- Drew :paw:

[æonpax]

As some of you know... I am also a part-time pornographer. I think there is some legitimacy to the criticism of porn.

On the positive side, I think it has acted as a form of "sex education for adults" - or at least it did 15 years ago when the internet really became popular. I think a lot of people who led very limited sex lives had their horizons broadened by easier access to porn. A lot of couples lead much better sex lives today than 20 years ago.

On the negative side, I think it does present a distorted view of human sexuality, perhaps not unlike the professional fashion industry presents a highly distorted view of fashion and women's bodies (super models - yuk). And, in particular, I wonder about teenagers being negatively affected by porn. Anal sex, group sex, bukake, BDSM - these are advanced sexual activities for people who perhaps have moved beyond "put it in and move it all about" sex. I don't think it is good for the still-developing teenaged brain to see a lot of that stuff. If you have kids whom you let surf and haven't set up appropriate parent controls so they have access to material appropriate for their age then my 2 cents is that you should. But even adults can benefit from understanding that giant tits and cocks are not typical, and real degradation of a sexual partner is not normal, loving behaviour.

- Drew :paw:
`

You make a good point though I daresay, teens have got a lot more technically savvy on the net. I learned a lot about sexuality as a teen when I went online (WIN 3.11, dial-up) and was pretty unrestricted at the time. USENET was full of images now considered illegal, for example. I learned everything I wasn’t supposed to know about sexuality in those early days, online.

Laws have gotten a lot tougher now and with the quantum leaps in technology, proliferation of pocket sized media devices, P2P, file sharing, encryption and the “dark net”, except for n00bs, I have found that conventional porn holds little interest to many teen. Everything's changing, including porn.

[12voltman59]

You do make some good points, Drew--thanks. You are correct that back early on, having access to porn along with other things did break people out of the confines of social mores of the day--as evidenced by things like on television---they would have to have separate beds for married couples and at least one of them had to "keep one foot on the floor" and you had things like from that great movie "Cinema Paradiso" where the priest would have to watch the films in the theater in the small Italian community and whenever there was a scene that he found objectionable and needed to be cut by his reckoning, he'd ring a bell. We had a similar sort of thing here in the states with the Hayes Commission that had censors set the standards for what was acceptable or not in major films.

Porn along with the "sexual revolution" did help to get us away from those bad old days. To think that we do have politicos like Rick Santorum who vows that if gets to be president---he would set the federal government on a mission to "eradicate" all forms of what he considers to be pornography---thank God that his bid for the Republican nomination is really not going anywhere--I hope that he does not win in Wisconsin and few other of the places coming up with primaries because those losses would make it mathematically impossible for him to get to the number of delegates needed to win the nomination--the man is a total nut job as far as I am concerned.

I do agree that porn, at least the really hardcore sorts so readily available today is not suitable for kids---back "in the day" for me----we had no access to porn films--that was all we had then---it was a treat to sneak a Playboy or other such mag from one of our dads and oh man----when I was a kid still living in OHio before I left at age 15---there was this place we would play---it had some old farm buildings on it----people went there to have trysts and we would always find discarded rubbers, maybe some bits and pieces of harder core porn mags---but one day---holy shit----me and some buddies went in one of them and we found a huge stash of some really wild stuff---all kinds of stuff---not just hetero, but gay, lesbian, trans porn and even more--some bestiality---sad to say--there was also some child porn too--we thought the other stuff was kinda cool--but even at that young age--we knew it was not a good thing that there was porn of that sort. One of my buds told his older brother who had come back from Vietnam--he took that stuff and burnt the child porn mags in the fire barrel they had in their back yard--but we all sure did like the rest of it---even the gay stuff was ok with him--but seeing the lesbian porn was the biggest hit. Seeing the transexuals was kind of interesting but he may have burnt that too since it was gone. The bestiality porn was of women being screwed by horses, donkeys/mules and dogs.

I never actually saw any filmed porn till I was in a fraternity in college in the late 70s. It was really pretty poor quality stuff as I recall in terms of production values and such.

[Jobelorocks]

Well this site and it's maker are not against Pornography. You find that out on the about page here http://makelovenotporn.com/about . It is more just against porn as a sex ed of the standard of what sex is or should be. The average age for a boy (I'm not sure about statistics for girls) seeing his first hardcore pornography is at age 11. Obviously when you are viewing these images at such young ages (or at any age for that matter) without proper understanding or teaching otherwise, you can gain a distorted view of what sex actually is and what is "normal" or not. Pornography, like everything else, is best in moderation and at an age you are ready for it.

[sparkmaster69]

WTF KMA

[Daviecurious]

Not necessarily "on point" as lawyers like to say, but my comment comes from a friend of mine, who years ago 'defined' adult films, or pornography. I have yet to hear a better description. It was his opinion that the focus or intent of ANY adult film was:

1. Get as many different people as possible

2. In as many different combinations as possible

3. On the screen naked

4. For as long as possible

Which put porn films in perspective for me. All of which has nothing to do w/people using porn films as 'normal' behavior.

[Dog62]

I just discovered this site and I love it! Many of our your (and even older folks) have hardcore porn as their sex education and get some false ideas about sex. I have dealt with problem before. It gives a nice series of real world vs. porn world. Remember communication with your sexual partners is key! Oh please. Give me a break. Has anyone watched an episode of Lassie and then wondered why their dog can't speak english? Lassie isn't a dog training video. No one seriously believes that an oil slick and machine guns are an available option when ordering an Astin Martin, but James Bond had them. Do you honestly believe that, other than that one lone goof ball, anyone believes that when you are 18, every mother in the neighborhood is some sort of MILF and she is just dying to toss your salad? And you might as well bring her stepson along with you because she is secretly turned on at the thought of doing him too. And that every horny girl just walks into her sisters room, asks one question and then proceeds to get fucked by the virginal sister, who while having never been with another woman happens to have a variety of strapon toys? Oh yeah, and my personal favorite. I don't have children at home anymore but the 18 year old next door will tell her parents that she is babysitting my darling baby simply because she secretly has the desire to get on her knees and say "Oh gee Mr. Wilson, I just love sucking your dick. My boyfriends cock is a mere 76 inches long but yours is so much bigger. Please pay me $4 an hour and I will come suck it for you anytime. Don't worry about my parents, they are too stupid to notice that I dress like a slut to babysit your invisible child. If you would like, I have a friend that wants to eat me while I suck you."
Yeah, I can see how us old folks could believe that porn is a sex training aid.

[Besos para ella]

I like the site, thanks for posting :) x

[12voltman59]

I still go back to what I have long said about porn---I don't much care for "porn product"---not that I am against porn for any "moral" reasons per se---just that I basically find it kind of "stupid" in most cases.

There is also a very real problem with the porn industry on an international scale----while most of the porn done here in the US is simply a business where people are hired and often paid pretty well for their work and they are in it of their own volition---in far too much of the world---those who are used in "the industry" aren't there out of choice----they were either duped into doing things by unscrupulous people or they were "sold" by someone or outright taken and in all of these cases---become slaves and become nothing more than disposable sexual commodities used and abused for the enjoyment and profit of their slave masters and customers of the vile product.

I did happen upon this interesting article that goes along with what Jobel is talking about:



http://www.alternet.org/sex/154699/The_Absurd_Myths_Porn_Teaches_Us_About_Sex/


(http://www.alternet.org/sex/154699/The_Absurd_Myths_Porn_Teaches_Us_About_Sex/)

[æonpax]

Reality - Legally, porn and related sexual enterprises are a multi-billion dollar a year business. Illegally, who knows but the sex trade, in and of itself, has never been as economically robust as it is now.

I looked at the site and one word popped into me head..."Marketing." Those with little economic resources are basically into pictures, video and imaginary clandestine encounters regardless of how it's phrased. Those with resources? I'm not going to go there other than to say it ranges from inhuman and horrific to just plain old kinky. You get what you do or don't pay for.

Sexual morality, if there ever really was such a thing, is a tool to control. Regardless of how it's presented, or marketed, it's all the same thing, sex. For a female, if you have the savvy, constitution and psychological make-up, one can cash in big...as long as one knows when their time to quit is. Money, like alcohol, can be intoxicating....and by far, it is men who spend money for sex.

The site is just another marketing technique, nothing more, nothing less.

[Jobelorocks]

Dog, I have encountered plenty of my partners who really think that real world sex is just like it is in the pornos. They are shocked that I don't like having my head forced down on a penis and gagging on it (gagging is a BIG turn-off for me), or that I don't like anal sex and if I do it needs to be slow and with lots of lube instead of just with a little of their spit, so on and so forth. I am still young (25) and I sleep with people my age. I see people trying to act like they are in a porno all the time.

[æonpax]

<snip/unsnip>, I have encountered plenty of my partners who really think that real world sex is just like it is in the pornos. They are shocked that I don't like having my head forced down on a penis and gagging on it (gagging is a BIG turn-off for me), or that I don't like anal sex and if I do it needs to be slow and with lots of lube instead of just with a little of their spit, so on and so forth. I am still young (25) and I sleep with people my age. I see people trying to act like they are in a porno all the time.
`
Off Topic Reply - What you said made me laugh. Too many mistake what they read and see in the wonderful world of porn, as reality. Take the classic; Three Guys, One Girl, All Holes at Once. Every so often I hear or read some guy bragging that him and his friends did it. 99% chance they are making it up. What they don't realize is that it's gimmicked and set-up. Unless the girl and two of the guys are super contortionists, it just doesn't work that way in reality. It's an unnatural position and the female at least needs help getting into it, for still photography. No one is really having any pleasure from it, except maybe the guy standing or kneeling.