Need some advice

[tattooedbear]

I don't really know how to start this....ok....I am married, my wife is very supportive of me and very cool with me being Bi, so cool she let a male "friend" move in with us in the past. My problem is I met this guy on line fell for him hard, turned out the person I fell for and the person that moved in was not the same person, at first it was great but then he turned in to a total ass, drank to much and started to treat the wife like shit, needless to say I sent him packing, this was a few years ago and now I am talking with this other guy on line, I am kinda scared to get to involved with him, mainly because of my prior experience. I guess I would just like some advice other than take it slow, the guy says he is cool with the wife and all, which is a must because she ain't going anywhere. I am not into just hooking up for a fling I need the emotional and physical aspects of a relationship, which he says he wants too. The wife says give it a chance. Any advice would be a help thanks.

[Long Duck Dong]

hugs to you and your wife...... and your wife is right.... give it a chance.....

the easiest way is to do a trial run with the guy.... have him there for a holiday, and you will get a idea if its working or not... and never underestimate the mind of a woman, they can sense dirty socks at 100 meters, blindfolded and in a locked room.......

[DuckiesDarling]

I don't really know how to start this....ok....I am married, my wife is very supportive of me and very cool with me being Bi, so cool she let a male "friend" move in with us in the past. My problem is I met this guy on line fell for him hard, turned out the person I fell for and the person that moved in was not the same person, at first it was great but then he turned in to a total ass, drank to much and started to treat the wife like shit, needless to say I sent him packing, this was a few years ago and now I am talking with this other guy on line, I am kinda scared to get to involved with him, mainly because of my prior experience. I guess I would just like some advice other than take it slow, the guy says he is cool with the wife and all, which is a must because she ain't going anywhere. I am not into just hooking up for a fling I need the emotional and physical aspects of a relationship, which he says he wants too. The wife says give it a chance. Any advice would be a help thanks.

Hi, Tattooedbear, first let me say your wife sounds awesome. Just because you had a bad experience it shouldn't put you off trying again. Perhaps, set a trial period of so many months and at the end, if it isn't working, he moves out with no hard feelings on any side but if he is like the other guy you are free to send him packing earlier. Life is full of risks and rewards but we only reap the rewards when we take the risks. Good luck and may this time be what you actually want not just what you seek.

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Yep yep, what Duck and DD said..lol Hugs to you all and good luck, Sweetie. Go slow but done back down. Like Duck said, in vite him for BBQ's, dinners, day trips and see how things go. If the Lady likes him too, maybe a good time could be had by all.:}
Cat...instigator..LOL

[bityme]

I don't really know how to start this....ok....I am married, my wife is very supportive of me and very cool with me being Bi, so cool she let a male "friend" move in with us in the past. My problem is I met this guy on line fell for him hard, turned out the person I fell for and the person that moved in was not the same person, at first it was great but then he turned in to a total ass, drank to much and started to treat the wife like shit, needless to say I sent him packing, this was a few years ago and now I am talking with this other guy on line, I am kinda scared to get to involved with him, mainly because of my prior experience. I guess I would just like some advice other than take it slow, the guy says he is cool with the wife and all, which is a must because she ain't going anywhere. I am not into just hooking up for a fling I need the emotional and physical aspects of a relationship, which he says he wants too. The wife says give it a chance. Any advice would be a help thanks.

As others have stated, your wife sounds great! However . . .

Considering your prior experience, have you considered a more gradual transition? Your apprehension is understandable and prudent. You met the guy on line, but it seems as though you haven't actually gotten together yet. Rather than jumping into a roommate situation right away, how about a nearby move. Let a relationship develop and see how it works out before forming a triad?

Starting out with a day or two at a time will give you a better chance to assess how you and your wife will fit together with the new man. You obviously want to preserve the marriage and a gradual transition will result in less stress on what appears to be a wonderful situation you have already.

Pappy

[tattooedbear]

Thank you all for the advice, I decided to just take it a day at a time and see where it goes....

[NakedInSeattle]

A day and a night, I hope. Good advice about a long weekend or holiday and see how you fit in all areas not just the bedroom. Go out to dinner, a movie, etc. Is there embarassment about laughing and touching in public?
I've been there. I know some of the pitfalls.
Good luck