Bisex Remakes of Your Fav Films

[Itsjustme14]

I thought it might be fun to do remakes of favorite films all with a gay or bisexual twist. I immiediately thought of three.

You can do this one of two ways. Take your favorite film and "re-cast" with new actors giving it a gay or bisexual twist. OR Do the same but cast members of bisex.

Here are the ones I came up with:

I'd give the First film version of "A Star Is Born" a rock AND a gay update by casting Robbie Williams as Norman Maine and Keith Urban as Esther Blodgett (whose name becomes 'Edward Blodget') Originally I thought of El Toro in the Blodgett role which led me to the other two film recastes:

Let's redo "Charlie's Angels" with El Toro, Johnny V and Glantern as the angels, CSRKate as Bosley and Lady D as the voice of Charlie.

Then I thought of the perfect recasting of "Steel Magnolias" -- Smurf in the Julia Roberts role; Maslowstudent in the Sally Field role; Bicurious Bottom in the Dolly Pardon role; Taz in the Daryl Hannah role; Flounder in the Olympia Dukakis role and Rowdy in the Shirley MacLaine role!

Now you guys try it! Have some fun and let those imaginations run wild!

[JohnnyV]

Gees, thanks for making me one of Charlie's Angels! I'll brush up on my ability to beat people up in stiletto heels.

The one idea I could come up with was a bisexual "Sex and the City", with two female and two male friends. Mix up the genders a little, I guess.

If I can't be Charlotte York, then I suppose Kitten should be her, since she's getting married.

Miranda Hobbes would have to be Driver 8.

Samantha Jones would be Rayos Y Truenos.

And Carrie Bradshaw could be Allbimyself.

Instead of working at an art gallery, Charlotte/Kitten would be a professional cat groomer.

Instead of a lawyer, Miranda/Driver would be the chancellor of a major university.

Instead of being a publicist, Carrie/Rayos would be a sex therapist specializing in massage.

Instead of writing a tawdry, cynical newspaper column, Carrie/Allbi would write a tawdry, cynical blog about being bi.

The entire movie would take place in a fictional simulated city in cyberspace, instead of New York. Mr. Big would have to be played by Usedbear, Aidan would be Arana, and Brady (Miranda's guy) would be CSRAKate. Drew would have a cameo. Instead of marrying the Jewish lawyer, of course, Kitten would marry Taz. The Scottish guy that Charlotte marries first would be Smurf11. Why not?

Instead of meeting every weekend for a catch-up brunch, our four fabulous stars would meet every weekend in the wee hours, at an adult bookstore. They would congregate in the back of the theater and make wry musings about the erotic films showing.

It wouldn't be Sex and the City, but Bisex and the Website.

Sorry its just, that's the best I could do!

Love,
J

[wanderingrichard]

And you both did good... stop sellin yerself short johnny

[meteast chick]

I think everyone on this site can be a part of "Dazed and Confused"!LMAO!

In particular, just because I think it would be funny, I think I wanna be Darla Marks/Parker Posey, the girl who orders all the other little sluts around..."What are you looking at? Wipe that face off your head, bitch!"..."Lick me, all of you!"

Huneypot can be Fred O'Bannion/Ben Affleck, the guy who wants to smack all the freshmen's asses..."What are you looking at? Huh? I'll kick your fucking ass, right now! What are you smiling at? Freshman faggot!"

UsedBear can be David Wooderson/Matthew McConaughey..."That's what I love about these high school girls, man. I get older, they stay the same age."

Mummy Kate can be Slater/Rory Cochrane, cuz she can be damn funny..."Behind every good man there is a woman, and that woman was Martha Washington, man, and everyday George would come home, she would have a big fat bowl waiting for him, man, when he come in the door, man, she was a hip, hip, hip lady, man."

I couldn't pick just one for Smurfie, Allbi and deff some other people, so I guess everyone can just pick their own character!!!

Damn this would be a lot of fun!!!

luv and kisses,
xoxoxoxoxox
meteast

[arana]

Then I thought of the perfect recasting of "Steel Magnolias" -- Smurf in the Julia Roberts role; Maslowstudent in the Sally Field role; Bicurious Bottom in the Dolly Pardon role; Taz in the Daryl Hannah role; Flounder in the Olympia Dukakis role and Rowdy in the Shirley MacLaine role!

Now you guys try it! Have some fun and let those imaginations run wild!
That is too funny!!! I can see them now. Are they still getting together at BB's beauty parlour?

[glantern954]

LOL!

I think I get it! A reverse genders Charlie Angels? We wouldn't be in drag, unless you wanted to Johnny ;). We would just be wearing as little as possible with bitchin' hair and using our sexyness to get information from perps. I call dibs on male version of the Jacquelin Smith character.

This is just off the top of my head, but:

I think I would try and redo Grease. But instead of the school stud, Danny is an introverted bisexual and the entire school thinks he is gay. He hangs with the gay crowd and is pressured to act "gay". He struggles with escaping the sterotypes to be with accepted by and with the woman he loves.

[JohnnyV]

LOL!

I think I get it! A reverse genders Charlie Angels? We wouldn't be in drag, unless you wanted to Johnny ;). We would just be wearing as little as possible with bitchin' hair and using our sexyness to get information from perps. I call dibs on male version of the Jacquelin Smith character.
.

Glantern, you sly little bi(tch). You know damn well that I would want the Jacklyn Smith character. With your blond highlights you ought to be Farrah Fawcett. On the other hand, I gained 15 stress pounds during my wife's pregnancy and am not as hot as I used to be; I may end up having to be Kate Jackson (boo).

J

[JohnnyV]

I think I would try and redo Grease. But instead of the school stud, Danny is an introverted bisexual and the entire school thinks he is gay. He hangs with the gay crowd and is pressured to act "gay". He struggles with escaping the sterotypes to be with accepted by and with the woman he loves.

How would the lyrics have to change for all the songs? Like:

"tell me more, tell me more" would have to be sung by two groups, but instead of being a group of men and a group of women, it would be a group of straight men and a group of gay men!!! yikes!

"Hopelessly devoted to you" sounds way too committed to one thing to be in any way bisexual. Maybe it should be, "I'm leaning toward being with you, but I'm not promising I won't hit on that guy in gym class."

-------------

I have a better idea -- the Wizard of Oz in a bisexual format. But Dorothy is really a bisexual woman who get whisked away from the domestic boredom of her heterosexual marriage in Kansas. In Oz, she ends up falling on the Wicked Fundamentalist of the East, and has to evade the capture of the Wicked Fundamentalist of the West. The Good Fairy Godfather -- a Panamanian underwear model who has a girlfriend in Oz and a boyfriend back in Chelsea -- helps Dorothy out by telling her to find the Wizard. The Wizard is a bisexual Microsoft executive capable of creating a cybercommunity of like-minded bisexual people. Or better yet, the Wizard is Drew.

I'll be the Tin Man, since I'm so brutally cerebral and everyone tells me I'm emotionally stunted. The Lion will be a straight guy who likes sucking cock and needs to find the courage to callhimiself bi. The scarecrow is a lesbian who likes sleeping with men, but needs to get some brains to figure out that she's bi.

Everywhere along the gold lamé road, we will be confronted by lots of happy binobo monkeys, instead of those midgets, and the binobo monkeys will jump for joy every time we defeat a Christian bigot or a closed-minded gay militant who says bisexuals don't exist.

We're off to see the wizard....


Love,
J

[wellred]

We're off to see the wizard....

Johnny,

Sounds like you have the makings of a video game. Wishing you success with marketing it. (And we need to let you get out more often.)

Cheers,
Red

[allbimyself]

Johnny,

LMBFAO, those were great, especially the lesbian that needs a brain. Since ur the tin man can I lube you up? LOL

BTW, if I'm going to get Sarah Jessica's role, I want to be able to sleep with Matthew...

Best I could come up with is a bisexual Blazing Saddles where the sheriff isn't black but bisexual (guess he could be both). He's sent to be the sheriff of Rock Ridge, a town populated exclusively by gay men and women, by the evil conservative Attorney General.

[arana]

When they get to the Emerald City and are going through the little "spa treatment" that song the munchkins sing ~tuck tuck here, tuck tuck there~ is going to take on a whole new meaning. :tong:

[arana]

(bump)

[krrptyc]

I didn't even get to itsjustme's ideas when Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid came to mind. I don't think any substitution of actors is necessary. ;)

Then I thought Friends would take some interesting turns. Star Trek, Gray's Anatomy, and (OMG Im old) Mod Squad all zipped through before I decided to get back to work. :rolleyes:

[NWMtnHawk]

Wow! What a totally awesome idea here, . . . showing my age as well, the movie that popped into my mind was "Billy Jack". Since it WAS about the prejudice against Native Americans in it's original format the actual theme wouldn't have to change much if at all. Just the target of it's prejudice and biogtry; instead of Native Americans, it'd be Bisexuals. But what an interesting idea I thought. Awesome thread!

[wanderingrichard]

I have a better idea -- the Wizard of Oz in a bisexual format. But Dorothy is really a bisexual woman who get whisked away from the domestic boredom of her heterosexual marriage in Kansas. In Oz, she ends up falling on the Wicked Fundamentalist of the East, and has to evade the capture of the Wicked Fundamentalist of the West. The Good Fairy Godfather -- a Panamanian underwear model who has a girlfriend in Oz and a boyfriend back in Chelsea -

OMFG!! i laughed so hard about the underware model i had soda blowing out my nose!! dudes & dudettes, remember when we ousted Norriega?? we found him wearing red womens bikinis! :eek: