leizy
Jun 8, 2006, 1:55 PM
Bisexuals are sexual compulsives who cannot be trusted, cannot be monogamous, and cannot be satisfied with just one partner:
The perceptions and beliefs about bisexuals' trustworthiness and inability to be monogamous are based upon the assumption that bisexuality is purely about sexual behaviors, and disregards many of the other aspects of both bisexuality and relationships, including emotional attractions and gender roles. Can bisexuals be monogamous, or does their need for sex with both men and women drive them to compulsively seek out sex wherever and however they can find it? Is the sexual life of a bisexual a perpetual orgiastic hedonism, with threesomes and group sex across bedrooms and living room floors?
Parts of these assumptions are actually based in some facts; past research studies by Rosario et al, Wold et al., and Cochran and Mays, as well as Weinberg, show that bisexuals on average do have more sex than most people, and that bisexuals are less monogamous than many people. Both male and female bisexuals report higher numbers of male partners, perhaps due to the ease with which male sex partners can be met. Male bisexuals report significantly fewer lifetime male partners than are reported by gay men, but report similar numbers of female partners when compared to heterosexual men. When examined in the short-term, bisexual men acknowledge similar numbers of male partners to the experiences of gay men, though their numbers of male partners are lower across their lifetime, due perhaps to the later onset of same-sex sexual activity, and to changes in sexual behaviors across their lifespan.
Bisexual women however, report higher numbers of sex partners than are reported by other women, regardless of sexual orientation. Bisexual women seem to be somewhat more promiscuous than other women, reporting more male sexual partners than heterosexual women, though they report similar or slightly fewer numbers of female partners than are reported by lesbians. So, bisexual men and women do have more same-sex encounters than heterosexuals, and similar or slightly lower rates than homosexuals. While bisexual women are having somewhat more sex than heterosexual women, this certainly doesn't support the assertions that bisexuals are significantly more sex-crazed than heterosexuals, gays or lesbians. While some studies do suggest somewhat more alternative sexual practices such as group sex among bisexuals, most bisexuals report that they do not pursue sexual encounters with both men and women simultaneously, but instead have serial or parallel relationships. The greatest stigmas of bisexuality however, are attached to the bisexual male. The fact that research shows bisexual men are overall less sexually active than homosexual men, suggests that the assumptions of hypersexuality are based more upon prejudice (or perhaps even upon jealousy) than upon the real facts.
Several studies conducted by independent researchers Weinberg, Rust and Enihorn have shown that bisexuals are less monogamous than heterosexuals and homosexuals. Slightly less than half of bisexual men and women report having multiple simultaneous sexual relationships, compared to around one-third of gay and heterosexual men, and one-fifth of heterosexual women. Lesbians are the most monogamous group, with only a tenth reporting infidelity. However, while these findings suggest that bisexuals are doing lots of sneaking around, additional research sheds more light on these relationships.
First, bisexuals maintain longer relationships than most homosexual relationships, and those relationships are most often with other-sex partners. Anecdotal reports by bisexuals have discussed how couples and individuals communicate about their bisexuality and maintain their relationship, as well as their monogamy. Beyond bisexuals in relationships where there is monogamy or infidelity, there are other options. According to most studies and interviews, bisexuals are far more likely than heterosexuals to be in "open" relationships when they are in a committed relationship. One researcher, Kristen McLean, interviewed about sixty Australian bisexuals where and found that somewhat more than half of them were in nonmonogamous relationships. What McLean found however, was a surprising amount of effort, honesty and communication that went into these relationships, and the number of men and women that described how their relationships had been improved by their improved communication and openness to other relationships. The bisexual couples described different arrangements, depending upon their individual needs, but all discussed how they had worked together to find ways to deal with their bisexuality within their relationships such that their relationships and their sense of self as a bisexual was improved.
Most studies, including McLean's, have shown that when bisexuals are nonmonogamous, they most often pursue multiple, but separate relationships with varying degrees of sexual and emotional involvements. These relationships are not universally sexual in nature. While some bisexuals describe that their additional relationships are purely sexual, others have described that their relationships may at times involve no sex, but may instead be based upon emotional intimacy, with no actual sexual contact. While some bisexuals do involve themselves in group relationships with multiple partners, with some research showing that one out of four bisexual males had had sex with multiple partners at once, and 40% had had sex in the presence of other people, this activity is much lower in females, and seems confined to sexual contact, as opposed to long-term relationships.
Some of the beliefs about bisexuals and monogamy are grounded in truths. Bisexuals do have somewhat more sex partners than heterosexuals, and are less monogamous than straight couples. They are more likely to be in open relationships, or to be unfaithful, though as many bisexuals are monogamous and faithful as are not. But, many bisexuals have done tremendous work to communicate openly and honestly with their partners about their needs. Are bisexuals by their nature incapable of honesty or monogamy? No, the research is clear that bisexuals are capable of both honesty and monogamy. As bisexuals age, they appear to gravitate towards committed, long-term, heterosexual and monogamous marriages. Why are bisexuals at higher risk for infidelity or involved in nonmonogamous relationships, and what does this tell us about both bisexuals and marriage? Is this an issue for younger marriages and relationships, or do these issues span the lifetime of a marriage? Are these issues related to the social supports and recognition enjoyed by heterosexual marriage, that are not applied to other relationships, and if so, can or will the institution of marriage change to meet the needs of the many bisexuals and bisexually-behaving individuals out there? Research in these areas is still in infancy. There is much that we don't know about nontraditional marriages. However, it is clear that the framework of traditional marriage is not especially comfortable for many bisexuals, and that the mismatch leads many bisexuals and their partners into nontraditional marriage and relationship arrangements.
The perceptions and beliefs about bisexuals' trustworthiness and inability to be monogamous are based upon the assumption that bisexuality is purely about sexual behaviors, and disregards many of the other aspects of both bisexuality and relationships, including emotional attractions and gender roles. Can bisexuals be monogamous, or does their need for sex with both men and women drive them to compulsively seek out sex wherever and however they can find it? Is the sexual life of a bisexual a perpetual orgiastic hedonism, with threesomes and group sex across bedrooms and living room floors?
Parts of these assumptions are actually based in some facts; past research studies by Rosario et al, Wold et al., and Cochran and Mays, as well as Weinberg, show that bisexuals on average do have more sex than most people, and that bisexuals are less monogamous than many people. Both male and female bisexuals report higher numbers of male partners, perhaps due to the ease with which male sex partners can be met. Male bisexuals report significantly fewer lifetime male partners than are reported by gay men, but report similar numbers of female partners when compared to heterosexual men. When examined in the short-term, bisexual men acknowledge similar numbers of male partners to the experiences of gay men, though their numbers of male partners are lower across their lifetime, due perhaps to the later onset of same-sex sexual activity, and to changes in sexual behaviors across their lifespan.
Bisexual women however, report higher numbers of sex partners than are reported by other women, regardless of sexual orientation. Bisexual women seem to be somewhat more promiscuous than other women, reporting more male sexual partners than heterosexual women, though they report similar or slightly fewer numbers of female partners than are reported by lesbians. So, bisexual men and women do have more same-sex encounters than heterosexuals, and similar or slightly lower rates than homosexuals. While bisexual women are having somewhat more sex than heterosexual women, this certainly doesn't support the assertions that bisexuals are significantly more sex-crazed than heterosexuals, gays or lesbians. While some studies do suggest somewhat more alternative sexual practices such as group sex among bisexuals, most bisexuals report that they do not pursue sexual encounters with both men and women simultaneously, but instead have serial or parallel relationships. The greatest stigmas of bisexuality however, are attached to the bisexual male. The fact that research shows bisexual men are overall less sexually active than homosexual men, suggests that the assumptions of hypersexuality are based more upon prejudice (or perhaps even upon jealousy) than upon the real facts.
Several studies conducted by independent researchers Weinberg, Rust and Enihorn have shown that bisexuals are less monogamous than heterosexuals and homosexuals. Slightly less than half of bisexual men and women report having multiple simultaneous sexual relationships, compared to around one-third of gay and heterosexual men, and one-fifth of heterosexual women. Lesbians are the most monogamous group, with only a tenth reporting infidelity. However, while these findings suggest that bisexuals are doing lots of sneaking around, additional research sheds more light on these relationships.
First, bisexuals maintain longer relationships than most homosexual relationships, and those relationships are most often with other-sex partners. Anecdotal reports by bisexuals have discussed how couples and individuals communicate about their bisexuality and maintain their relationship, as well as their monogamy. Beyond bisexuals in relationships where there is monogamy or infidelity, there are other options. According to most studies and interviews, bisexuals are far more likely than heterosexuals to be in "open" relationships when they are in a committed relationship. One researcher, Kristen McLean, interviewed about sixty Australian bisexuals where and found that somewhat more than half of them were in nonmonogamous relationships. What McLean found however, was a surprising amount of effort, honesty and communication that went into these relationships, and the number of men and women that described how their relationships had been improved by their improved communication and openness to other relationships. The bisexual couples described different arrangements, depending upon their individual needs, but all discussed how they had worked together to find ways to deal with their bisexuality within their relationships such that their relationships and their sense of self as a bisexual was improved.
Most studies, including McLean's, have shown that when bisexuals are nonmonogamous, they most often pursue multiple, but separate relationships with varying degrees of sexual and emotional involvements. These relationships are not universally sexual in nature. While some bisexuals describe that their additional relationships are purely sexual, others have described that their relationships may at times involve no sex, but may instead be based upon emotional intimacy, with no actual sexual contact. While some bisexuals do involve themselves in group relationships with multiple partners, with some research showing that one out of four bisexual males had had sex with multiple partners at once, and 40% had had sex in the presence of other people, this activity is much lower in females, and seems confined to sexual contact, as opposed to long-term relationships.
Some of the beliefs about bisexuals and monogamy are grounded in truths. Bisexuals do have somewhat more sex partners than heterosexuals, and are less monogamous than straight couples. They are more likely to be in open relationships, or to be unfaithful, though as many bisexuals are monogamous and faithful as are not. But, many bisexuals have done tremendous work to communicate openly and honestly with their partners about their needs. Are bisexuals by their nature incapable of honesty or monogamy? No, the research is clear that bisexuals are capable of both honesty and monogamy. As bisexuals age, they appear to gravitate towards committed, long-term, heterosexual and monogamous marriages. Why are bisexuals at higher risk for infidelity or involved in nonmonogamous relationships, and what does this tell us about both bisexuals and marriage? Is this an issue for younger marriages and relationships, or do these issues span the lifetime of a marriage? Are these issues related to the social supports and recognition enjoyed by heterosexual marriage, that are not applied to other relationships, and if so, can or will the institution of marriage change to meet the needs of the many bisexuals and bisexually-behaving individuals out there? Research in these areas is still in infancy. There is much that we don't know about nontraditional marriages. However, it is clear that the framework of traditional marriage is not especially comfortable for many bisexuals, and that the mismatch leads many bisexuals and their partners into nontraditional marriage and relationship arrangements.