Starting over

[Itsjustme14]

Since so many of us have become family, I thought I would turn to my family for a little help and encouragement.

Recently, I decided to start life over, turned in my notice at work, and am now happily taking some time to rest and be creative, while trying to decide "what I want to be when I grow up". The problem being, now that I have set myself up to head in any direction I so choose, I am frustrating myself by wanting to do so many things.

Here's the question: What steps or actions have you found to help you make a difficult decision when the answer isn't clear?

Thanks for your love, encouragement and support. You can't know how much it has meant, and continues to mean to me. And thanks ahead of time for your thoughts.

[BI-FREE]

My wife and I recently went throught this, trying to decide whether we should up and move, settling somewhere new and starting a new life. There were a lot of considerations on where to go, when to go, how we would manuever all of the other things. What we did was just thought about all of the different possibilites and then sat with each of them for awhile, noting positives and negatives to each. After thinking on this for several weeks, eventually certain ideas dropped out while others came to the forefront. Finally, amazingly, one of the ideas finally stood out and when we decided on it, it just felt right. We felt good about it whenever we thought about it, and knew that was thr rigth decision. Hope that is helpful. Good luck on your journey.

[JohnnyV]

It seems odd to bring up Martha Stewart at a time like this, but she recently said in an interview that when she went to jail for securities fraud, the biggest surprise was how much she was capable of enduring. She realized that she could survive physical deprivation and total loss of comfort.

When you make a life change, that's often the thing you have to acclimate yourself to, but it's worth it in the end. I left a cushy job to go to graduate school, and I spent five years cutting coupons and stealing sandwiches from catered banquets to feed me and my wife.

Just be ready for the challenge to your sense of comfort, and get excited about learning how much you can do with fewer resources. Give yourself some time to acclimate yourself to some hunger -- don't worry, you won't starve to death. Find cost-free ways to indulge whatever desire led youto leave the job. For instance I have 205 books checked out of libraries right now. Go to free concerts and lecture series. And during the time you're not working, do NOT spend the whole time feeling bad about not having a job. Soon enough you'll be working at some job again, and if you did that, you will feel like you lost a rare opportunity to find yourself.

What I love about this site and others like it, is that you can gain acquaintances and "hang out" in cyberspace for free. When you're in transition anything free is good.

Good luck,
J

[Rhuth]

A bisexual person having troubles making a choices. *giggles* Sorry, I couldn't resist.

I always have to make lists. I draw up lists of what the choices are, and lists of what choices need to be made. Then instead of choosing from the whole group, I choose between the first two on the list. The winner then gets compared to the third on the list, and I choose between those two. I work my way to the bottom of each list that way.

Then of course I change my mind. Lol Or I suddenly think of more things to add to the list. Either way, I still find it helpful to write things out like that. It kind of gives me a map or a goal with a lot less clutter.

http://www.mindtools.com/pages/main/newMN_TED.htm

Good luck and congratulations on what sounds like it will be an exciting adventure!

--Rhuth

[PeterH]

Hi IJM,

it's great to hear from you again in this way!
I'm not sure I have much advice though. When I looked at my career, and wanted to change it, I read the book "What colour is your parachute" by Dick Bolles, which I found very helpful at the time.
I wish you the best of luck in making your decision,

Peter

[woolleygirl]

Well hon we are a family you could say maybe a little disfunctional but still a family. It is scary starting over it is almost over whelming in the fact that there are so many things that you want to accomplish but you need to just take it one day at a time. I saw that someone suggested a list, on your list your needs and wants for your new life and tackle one thing on that list at a time it may make you frustrated be realize this is a new life for you and everything takes time to make adjustment on what you want but in the end you will get there. I am very proud of you that was a huge step you just need to keep on your path.

remember we are here for you if you need a shoulder or even an ear. :grouphug:

T