terminology

[njbiman]

I'm definitely masculine. But I would like to bottom, does that make me a "sub"? Does sub necessarily mean I'm getting fucked or just determine who's "calling the shots"?

[Herculoid Poirot]

Would you say that you prefer to be "calling the shots" while being penetrated? If so, you might call that "top from the bottom".

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=top%20from%20the%20bottom

[njbiman]

I see your point.....I did it once and liked it but I didn't see him as dominating me. I ask because I am asked. I'm a quiet polite Guy but if I were to act dominant I'd tell my partner to fuck me. Hence the confusion.

[njbiman]

Perfect! Top from the bottom!

[billyt41]

being submissive myself it's more than being the one who receives the penetration, it's giving up control and allowing your Dom/partner to call the shots and be in control

[njbiman]

Hmmmm...can't two people be equally in or out of control?

[Herculoid Poirot]

Hmmmm...can't two people be equally in or out of control?

sure, but billy is just saying that for him submission is a physical and mental state.

[FunE1]

I'm definitely masculine. But I would like to bottom, does that make me a "sub"? Does sub necessarily mean I'm getting fucked or just determine who's "calling the shots"?

As I understand it, "sub" is used primarily (but obviously not only) in the BDSM lifestyle to indicate a person who is submissive when it comes to sexual play. They do not initiate sexual play/activity, instead following the lead of their "dom" (dominant) partner and completely submitting to the Dom's commands/instructions/etc.

So, just because you want to bottom, doesn't really make you a sub. It makes you more "versatile" (or "vers").

So, it's entirely possible you could be a Top (only) or a Bottom (only).... or Versatile Top(i.e., you top mostly, but can bottom as well)... Or you could be a Versatile Bottom (i.e., bottom mostly but you top on occasion, too). And in each of these cases you could be a Dom (like to be the one controlling/calling the shots) or Sub (prefer you partner to control everything) or you can be a "switch" which is someone who will Dom or Sub.

If you find all of this confusing, as I do.... And if you find that you enjoy aspects of each of these enjoyable at different times depending on partner, mood, etc., as I do... Then don't worry about what to call it, just have fun.