My husband might be bisexual, what should I do?

[candlefire]

Hi all,

First off I am bisexual and I had told my husband before we got married. I got lucky and had very understanding people to help me talk about it in my early adolescent years so I didn't have to hide it.

Anyway, I found gay and bi porn on my husband's computer today, and I am confused. Is this just a fantasy that he has? Or is he going to act upon these desires? I don't have a problem with the porn, I just never knew he would watch it. The thing is, If he is not bisexual, don't want to offend him by saying that I found it, because I know he will get defensive.

On the other hand, he did not delete his browsing history, so maybe he wanted me to find it. Maybe he wanted me to bring it up because he is scared of what I will think. I don't know what to do, and If I do talk to him about it, how should I even begin?

[Don Likes It]

You should thank your lucky stars! Now you can both have loads of fun.

[Gearbox]

Men are not particularly clever when horny, so I wouldn't take it as leaving you some proof.lol
He maybe just a bit bi-curious and just getting to grips with it on his own at the mo (No pun!). I'd give it a bit of time to see what happens. At least you know that you have something to look out for, and can casually bring it up to test the waters. Not accuse! Just see where his head is at. Maybe say it would turn you on to see him suck another bloke? (If that's true!). Or put some bi porn on with him.
You being bi may or may not make it easier for him to express his interest. Hope he does though.

[Herculoid Poirot]

it's hard to go wrong with being honest and respectful

[tenni]

I'd give him some time. I think that yes honesty is good.

I do have a question as to how you found this on "his" computer? Do you share this computer? Is he use to you going through his history section of his browser?

[OralGiver]

if i were you i would bring the subject while you 2 are in bed about to do it,just ask him if he's ever thought about having m2m sex,if your bi,then you both should just enjoy your sexual activities together,wouldnt you like to see your husband suck another mans cock,that would be so hot...just don't go crazy on him..

[datileman]

First off, calm down,, your questions sound more like fear. How about just askin, i mean you said you were lucky that he accepted your bisexualness. But you seemed really concerned, Like almost, OMG what do i do? what did he do when you told him. Maybe he's curious, or has desires,, so didn't you before you tried bisexuality. You know this is why many men hide their desires, its more accpeted if a woman is bi, but many men fear they will be thought of as gay,, and thats not the case. I am curious as to how you found that porn on his pc,, if its a shared pc, than thats his bad for leavin evidence, if its his pc,, the only proble3m that i'ld have is the fact that you were checkin his pc out,, sorry thats just plain wrong if you did. But its just kinda ironic that you're happy he accepted you, but you seem to be freakin out.. Try the up front truth, and then deal with it. Remember others opinions just like mine are like assholes, everyone has one

[Emunahd]

Do you care whether or not he is? Will you leave him if he is bi or support him? Either way, you must ask him. "Babe, while I was using the computer I saw your bi porn sites. Are you bi like me?" I just lived through this scenario, please feel free to message me privately if you wish to discuss. I can tell you from experience, honest dialogue is the ONLY way to get through it. Make sure he knows he has your unconditional support - unless he doesn't, which will be a different conversation, but one that has to be had, nonetheless.

[Michigan_cpl]

well first off congrats on being bisexual and finding a very understanding partner.

now second of all, just maybe your husband left all the porn on the computer so that you can find it, that might be his way of saying that he is bi or at least curious . i would ask give it some time so that he does not know that you it and then just bring it up. ask him what this thoughts are about being bi, and dont forget to tell him that you love him and accept him. good luck.

[candlefire]

Yea, I can see how it seems like I am freaking out. But the only reason it may "seem" like that is because this just came up out of the blue. I never saw this coming so I don't know how to deal with it. And of course I will support him, and still love him, I am just still shocked that he would hide this from me :/

[biguy71]

I would probably say something like, "What's up with the gay porn you were looking at? Just curious."

In other words, I wouldnt act like it's a big deal one way or the other. If he knows it's no big deal, he's probably less likely to be dishonest or get defensive, which seems to be your fear.

[jhg50]

if you are ok with it just talk to him and discuse it with him and then find another bi couple to try it for the first time

[bluesky55]

Get in a 3 way with a girlfriend and then the 2 of you start talking about how hot it'd be to see two guys sucking each other. Then ask if he'd ever think about doing that for you.

[bikiniman]

I would probably say something like, "What's up with the gay porn you were looking at? Just curious."

In other words, I wouldnt act like it's a big deal one way or the other. If he knows it's no big deal, he's probably less likely to be dishonest or get defensive, which seems to be your fear.

I agree with this suggestion, don't make a big deal out it. When I first discovered that I enjoyed Gay and Bi porn I was very confused about my own sexuality. It took me months to get in clear in my own head and to tell my wife about it. Also there is huge gap between enjoying watching gay porn and acting on those desires.

[bihim4her]

Yea, I can see how it seems like I am freaking out. But the only reason it may "seem" like that is because this just came up out of the blue. I never saw this coming so I don't know how to deal with it. And of course I will support him, and still love him, I am just still shocked that he would hide this from me :/

Have you ever 'wanted' him to try bi? Do YOU think it's hot.. many women secretly wish their male partner was bi too
especially when she's bi.. but don't want to ask their man cause they think it will insult him.

Oh there's a group here that may help.. look at 'groups' and see this one.
RIGHT SITUATION 4 BI FUN

[bi4asplay]

I would be watching some porn ,see a nice cock and ask him if he would like to help you suck that thing. That way it is you idea not his. Then when he does it was because you that wanted it to happen. He was doing it for you. He is off of he hook. I guess that you knows that you are BI. It could be that he really wants to understand that. Talk to the man.
Then again, what gave you the right to look at his browsing history? The only reason that you would is you do not trust him. If you do not trust him, get the hell out. Don't snoop. If you do snoop, you can not be trusted. Ask him if you can see his history. After all It is HIS, by definition.

[bi4asplay]

Yea, I can see how it seems like I am freaking out. But the only reason it may "seem" like that is because this just came up out of the blue. I never saw this coming so I don't know how to deal with it. And of course I will support him, and still love him, I am just still shocked that he would hide this from me :/

He hid nothing. The history was left there for you to find, as you snooped. Then again, the fact that you were only on one day tells us lot.

[SeanLiz]

Ok I came out to my wife while we were watching gay porn. You may want to begin with telling him how much you love him and support his exploring, and then ask him to be open about his feelings. More than likely he is not sure himself and may need time to see what he really wants. Be there for him and he will be more comfortable and probably seek you out for advice.

[newlynymphos]

As someone else pointed out, huge difference between fantasy and reality! He may just get off on the fantasy, but if confronted by a real cock in reality, it may actually turn him off! Talking about fantasies and sexual desires is really the only way. Web browser history never even needs to be brought up :)

[Realist]

You folks are talking to an empty audience....the OP hasn't been here since Feb 8 2012!

Interesting advice, though......

[BIGUY123456]

when you're fooling around tell him that you would love to watch him suck cock see what he saysif you truly want to see him do it I think 99 percent of men are bi curious some leave it as a fantasy some join sites like this and don't act on it but pretend and some act on it but only do limited stuff

[centillini]

sit back and relax and enjoy the show, and dominance over him

[dick_pumper]

I would say the best course is to ask him. My wife found some gay porn on my computer (she was snooping) and got very mad about it. That lead to a fight since she found it in the recycle bin as I had deleted it because it wasn't what I thought I was downloading.