Where do you fit?

[wildangel]

Is it just me or does it seem like most of the people here lean more toward the hetero side of bisexuality?

For a while I considered myself equal hetero/gay. But as I explored my bisexuality I found that I fit more comfortably in the gay side.

Where does everyone else feel like they fall?

[Biboz49]

I'm more on the hetero side as I really like the emotional relationship with women. For the physical part of it I like both men and women but still have a preference for women.

[Confused4life]

I would have to say that right now (as my name implies) I am confused about this. I have always thought of myself as straight. I guess I never acknowledged my feelings of attraction that I had growing up towards other women. I have been with a men in emotional, sexual relationships and had always just been really close to women friends. In jan, I had my first bi experince with my best friend....WOW. Thats all I can really say...wow. It was like nothing I have ever experienced before. Since then, I haven't really had any sexual thoughts about men...The main reason I am confused is because I don't know if another woman would affect me the way she did...or was it just her....but I am anxious and excited about finding out the answer to that..can't wait for another experience like it (and personally, not really sure how to go about finding it...any suggestions?)

Thanks
C4L

[ezervet]

*tips over whole new can of worms* (who cans worms, anyway..?)

Mi amigo, your guess is as good as mine. Sometimes i feel ridiculously gay, but then i think-of/see/spend-time-with women, and i'm all "man women are awesome!" Sometimes i feel like if i weren't so gay i'd be straight, and if i weren't so straight, i'd be gay. it is, in the parlance of our times, hella confusing. I guess i'm half and half, or maybe 60/40 (gay over straight). Of course, if you took a poll of my general social situation..i'd come off 10/90, so who the hell knows. I've got more of that "exploring" to do myself, i suppose.

[becksbolero]

I've always considered myself pretty straight with a thing for giving oral to both genders.

[warmpuppy]

I'm more on the hetero side as I really like the emotional relationship with women. For the physical part of it I like both men and women but still have a preference for women.

What he said. :bigrin: :bigrin: :bigrin:

[arana]

I'm pretty much more hetro I think. :tong:

[alexbtn20]

Wildangel, you'll be pleased to hear that you certainly aren't the only one on here that leans towards the gay side :). When I first joined this site, I wondered if there were only hetero-leaning bis and ambis (the 4s) on here, but then I came across a fair number of 5s and a few 6s (I even came across a fully gay 7 a few days ago!). And I myself certainly lean gay and would place myself at either 5 or 6, so you certainly aren't the only one like that on here :bigrin:!
I also started a similar thread to this one (see the 'Being Bi-curious Towards MOTOS' (Members Of The Opposite Sex) thread I started a few days back). I started it because we are always hearing of how predominantly heterosexual people discover that they are bi-curious, so I thought it would be quite interesting to have a discussion about when the reverse occurs i.e. gay identified people discover that they are bi-curious towards MOTOS. I think you'll find in time that one of the best things about this site is the level of diversity to be found on here. It makes for a very enlightening experience!

Alex :)

[Lisa (va)]

I usually say that I am bi to avoid any confusion. But I lean more towards an individual as a person, so I am more on the hetero side when involved with a man and more lesbian side when involved with a woman. Not sure if that makes any sense, but then I never claimed to have any :) .

Lisa

hugs n kisses

[arana]

I think that makes perfect sense Lisa. You give your all to the person you are committing a relationship with, as should be. That's why you Rule!!! :tong:

[breastluvrr]

Confused4life, you said EXACTLY what i was thinking.(except that i only just had my first bi experience on saturday night/sunday morning. also with my best friend. i would really like to be with a woman again but don't know how to go about it. My frien was already bi so it was easier for her to help me out. thanx for listening, from bteastluvrr...xoxoxox :female:

[jamiehue]

*tips over whole new can of worms* (who cans worms, anyway..?)

Mi amigo, your guess is as good as mine. Sometimes i feel ridiculously gay, but then i think-of/see/spend-time-with women, and i'm all "man women are awesome!" Sometimes i feel like if i weren't so gay i'd be straight, and if i weren't so straight, i'd be gay. it is, in the parlance of our times, hella confusing. I guess i'm half and half, or maybe 60/40 (gay over straight). Of course, if you took a poll of my general social situation..i'd come off 10/90, so who the hell knows. I've got more of that "exploring" to do myself, i suppose.
Some time you feel like a nut some time you dont almond joys got......

[Confused4life]

Confused4life, you said EXACTLY what i was thinking.(except that i only just had my first bi experience on saturday night/sunday morning. also with my best friend. i would really like to be with a woman again but don't know how to go about it. My frien was already bi so it was easier for her to help me out. thanx for listening, from bteastluvrr...xoxoxox :female:


Bteastluvrr,

Congrats (I hope!) on your first experience! My friend has know she was bi for about 12 years or so...and we had started talking about my feelings towards women (after she called late one night and it ended with us having phone sex, thats where it began for me...I couldn't believe what hearing my friend in the throws of passion would do to me...and I was very curious about it) THen one night after we left a bar she asked if I wanted to kiss her...and the rest is history....and I would gladly repeat the performances of those 2 nights with her if I could. Sadly, she is married (I know, I know...shame on me, no matter how drunk and lustfull it was), so we agreed that it couldn't happen again no matter how rocky her marriage is at this time (but I also left it up to her...she knows where to find me if this is a decision she wants to make). I feel as though I have been going kinda crazy with lustfull feelings that I have never felt before....it was like she set off a fire in me that had never been stroked (no pun intendeed). Many of the feelings and desires I have are about her, but I am ready and willing to discover if someone else turns those feelings on in me because DAYMN those are some great feelings. I wish you the best of luck with your journey, and if you (or anyone else) ever wants to talk...look me up. (sorry guys, didn't mean to thread jack this)

C4L

[billy_campbell]

I am not really sure where I fall, here is what I like in order of what I like best.

1. Giving oral sex to woman.
2. Giving oral sex to woman who is making love to man.
3. Having intercourse with a woman.
4. Having sex with a man and woman together.
5. Having sex with a man.

[Mrs.F]

Some time you feel like a nut some time you dont almond joys got......


I, myself always feel like a nut or nuts... :bigrin:

[DiamondDog]

I've been up and down the Kinsey scale at different points with different people at various points in my life.

I can’t really box my sexuality into a number, percent, or ratio; but I just know what I like and what I don’t like, and the rest I haven't tried yet. ;)

[NightHawk]

If I had to choose to have either a female or a male lover forever, I would more likely choose a female, if a sufficiently good woman was available. But why should I have to make such a choice?

[jo69guy]

Well, while I can be emotionaly involved with either sex, I am currently living in a gay relationship. Until I met my current partner, I always thought that it was just about sex with same sex partners. I am definately in love with my partner now though. I guess we all can change our viewpoints. I do still enjoy women too though. Just haven't been with one in a long time......

:2cents: :bipride:

[jenniferhell@hotmail]

i lean tward the gay side im a women who loves women more just ask my hubby :2cents: :flag1:

[innaminka]

I know that as time passes, I am leaning towards my gay side.
I love my husband deeply and we have gloriously passionate no-taboo sex, but I find he is the only guy I even think about sexually.
More and more I find my thoughts are directed towards women - both emotionally and sexually.
I have only had women as other sexual partners for the last few years.

[wildangel]

I know that as time passes, I am leaning towards my gay side.
I love my husband deeply and we have gloriously passionate no-taboo sex, but I find he is the only guy I even think about sexually.
More and more I find my thoughts are directed towards women - both emotionally and sexually.
I have only had women as other sexual partners for the last few years.

Wow, that's exactly how I am. I don't even really look at other men. I'm just not interested. I will however check other women out with my husband. It's nice to have that common bond between us.

[canuckotter]

I find that when my wife's around, I'm very close to being hetero. But if we spend time apart (when she goes to a conference, or I go on a business trip) within a few days I find my interest in men jumps dramatically. Last time my wife was gone was a 5-day trip, and by the time she got back my desires were way more gay than straight.

As for emotional attachments... There's a very limited range of personalities that I have emotional interest in, and men tend to fit my type better than women. :) And since my attraction to someone's personality ends up being about 75% of my sexual attraction to them, it means that there are plenty of guys who I would have had no interest in when I first met them who I would now consider boffing.

(Sorry, couldn't resist the urge to use "boff" I'll stop now. :tong: )

[teddyboy]

I have no clue where I fit in. Given the fact that I seem to screw up every hetero relationship I have I am starting to think I am more gay than bi...however...why oh why then can't I give up the beautiful, soft, round feminine shape??? :tongue:

[meteast chick]

I was (and still am technically) married, but I actually consider myself bent towards women primarily, and not just because I've snagged a fabulous one!

luv and kisses,
xoxoxox
meteast

[biecnal]

I tend to sway back and forth a little, but I would say I am generally sexually attracted to both sexes equally. Emotionally, I do prefer the oposite sex.

Lance :flag4:

[jedinudist]

Is it just me or does it seem like most of the people here lean more toward the hetero side of bisexuality?

For a while I considered myself equal hetero/gay. But as I explored my bisexuality I found that I fit more comfortably in the gay side.

Where does everyone else feel like they fall?


I'm as Bi as Bi gets - right down the middle ;)

[tink1978]

This is a question I have pondered myself and I have come to the conclusion that there are only 4 males in my life that I will ever truly love 2 of which being my wonderful children and the other 2 being the 2 children I did not carry (my husband and my first true love) That being said I am more gay/lesbian than i am hetero with the above exceptions.

what i am saying is that if my husband and I were to ever get a divorce or god forbid something happened to him and my first love was still with his uptight wife. I would only want to be with a woman. :bibounce:

[JrzGuy3]

I have a broader question: why do we define the amount of potential to be attracted to one gender relative to the potential to be attracted to the other?

Personally, I went through a thing for a long time (~ my first two years of being out) that I was mostly into girls. In retrospect, I don't think I am or was. I think that more than likely, I was saying this to myself and to others because being bi and being out were still intimidating, and this allowed me some of the comfort of "being" straight.

Since then, I've learned this really isn't true. In my opinion, a person's gender is simply one component of the overall mosaic that makes up person as a whole, and I think that many people, as whole entities, are beautiful things.

If I HAD to choose an answer to the question, I'd say equally gay/straight just as that's how to best answer it from the standard answer choices. But how can I really compare girls and guys? Anatomically, both have lots of fun parts and I can do different things with each, all of which I enjoy. What, do I need to like receiving anal sex better or worse than giving vaginal? I simply enjoy each one for what it is- amazing! As far as emotions go, I've had very cose relationships with guys, I've had very close ones with girls. While my only real committed relationship is with my current g/f, I think I easily could have taken past friendships with gay friends of mine to the next level.

[Nara_lovely]

I have always enjoyed the F/F experience much more than the M/F.

This is the deeper emotional feelings, attractions, affections, desires, excitement, and connections. Always been stronger towards another woman. Yet never considered myself leaning heavily towards the gay/lesbian side.
I'm just me. (labels are grrrrrr in my mind).

[bornintoit]

This sort of thing frustrates me. I agree that labels really don't go deep enough and are there mostly to make people feel secure or safe, a feeling that they belong to something or on the other hand make it easier for others to dismiss people and discriminate against people.

They do people need scales to know what they are or where they fit. Just be who you are.

Never the less I will now shut up and answer the question lol.

4 - I feel equal in my bi-ness. Just when I am with a lady my lesbian side comes out and when i'm with a man my straight side comes out.

Dee Dee x

:flag1: :female:

[grizzle45]

I think about this all the time and the more I become relaxed and open and comfortable with my identity, the less clear I can be on any scale. I used to say I was equally striaght/gay, but the truth is I'm more emotionally and romantically involved with women. As a result I've dated several women for many months and have been happily married to a woman for 6 years. I used to think this was a result of my inclination, but maybe I just never met the right guy. Maybe I've just held back in dating and finding men.
My relationships with me have been on the whole a right mess. I've either had strict sex with no strings, which was disatisfying (no romance, no cuddling) or I've had intense emotional relationships with no physical involved at all. The few times the twain did meet it was a confusing conundrum and never lasted.
All that being said, I am still very attracted to men, most of my sexual fantasies are about men, and I can find in my past many relationships and behavior that is clearly queer in nature (as I see it).
While my behavior seems to be more toward the hetero side, my desire often leans toward the gay side. As soon as I think taht I have fooled myself and would rather be with men, I find myself passionately desireous and rapturously happy with my wife and women in general. As soon as I think my history with men is just acting out or the result of some confusion, I find myself having a genuine experience of desire and attractiong toward a man.
The truth is, when I don't think about it or try to explain it and just feel it, experience it, I feel 100% bisexual. Whatever that means.

[bornintoit]

The truth is, when I don't think about it or try to explain it and just feel it, experience it, I feel 100% bisexual. Whatever that means.

BRAVO!!! That is exactly how I feel also!

Dee Dee x

:bipride: :female:

[JohnnyV]

If you're interested, a lot of great insights about this topic were also posted on the thread below:

http://main.bisexual.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1278

J

[Avocado]

First things first, I'm 0% gay, 0%straight, and 100% bi. As for where I fit, I find attractive virtually every woman my age I see. As for men, despite what I said in my sig me and my fiancee went out on saturday to the thames and I think I saw maybe 3 or 4 men I found attractive. I also stop fancying men younger than I do women. I think if I was single I wouldn't be bothered by age or gender as long as I fancied them there and then. I mean, I might not fancy my fiancee when we're both in our 80's, but it's something you accept isn't it?

[arana]

I mean, I might not fancy my fiancee when we're both in our 80's, but it's something you accept isn't it?
She may not look as hot as a 20 year old then but hopefully your love and passion for her has grown so much that you cherrish every wrinkle and sag on her body, you remember the smiles that caused every laugh line on her face and that in itself makes her the most beautiful woman in the world to you.

[Avocado]

She may not look as hot as a 20 year old then but hopefully your love and passion for her has grown so much that you cherrish every wrinkle and sag on her body, you remember the smiles that caused every laugh line on her face and that in itself makes her the most beautiful woman in the world to you.

As a person she always will be. I'll always want to wake up next to her even if I don't physically fancy her. I guess that's why some of the couples where one of them has a sex change who stay together do. Personally I didn't think I'd make 19, not joking.

[Roan's Man]

It's hard to stick a label, or number, on anyone here, isn't it? After having been with a man, I consider myself leaning a bit more toward gay.

[bigulfcpl]

I will only speak for myself, because I am not sure how Chrissy feels. I have been married twice, so, my relationships have been primarily with women. I have had emotional feelings with men though. So, I consider myself a true bisexual. :flag4:

[glantern954]

Let's see, what day is today? Ahh yes...its Monday and I would say I am feeling more Hetero today. But everyday could be different. Truthfully it could change several times a day. I am totally at the mercy of my senses.

Generally I feel pretty straight, but show me a hot shirtless guy or introduce me to a really charming guy and the scale starts to slide.

[membrain]

Totally, completely bisexual. :flag2: :bipride: :female: :male:

Whenever I think I'm more on the straight side I end up thinking: Wait a minute! Girls are absolutely gorgeous and I love them!

Whenever I think I'm more on the gay side I end up thinking: Wait a minute! Guys are absolutely gorgeous and I love them!

Get it? lol ;)

Membrain

[twodelta]

I usually say that I am bi to avoid any confusion. But I lean more towards an individual as a person, so I am more on the hetero side when involved with a man and more lesbian side when involved with a woman. Not sure if that makes any sense, but then I never claimed to have any :) .

Lisa

hugs n kisses

Nicely said Lisa, it makes perfect sence to me. On one hand, I'm a huge. macho sports fan, on the other hand, I LOVE Broadway musicals. When I watch "Queer Eye For The Staight Guy", I identify with both sides. My wife is just as likely to catch me checking out a fabulous guy as a beautiful gal. I married my wife because she is my soulmate, not because she is female. If I had found my soulmate to be male, I would now be in a gay LTR. I "pity the fool" that tries to pigeon hole me :2cents: - Dave

[phatchic]

Although I, too, am still working on this particular question, it's pretty safe to say that I prefer F/F to M/F. Though, to be honest, I haven't had any kind of a relationship for some time now! :)

[ambi53mm]

Let's see, what day is today? Ahh yes...its Monday and I would say I am feeling more Hetero today. But everyday could be different. Truthfully it could change several times a day. I am totally at the mercy of my senses.


This fits me to a "T" as well. In the course of a day I slide up and down that Kinsey scale depending on the way the wind blows..."blows"...uh oh..here I go again.

Ambi :)

[softfruit]

This fits me to a "T" as well. In the course of a day I slide up and down that Kinsey scale depending on the way the wind blows..."blows"...uh oh..here I go again.

*grin*

Same here, where you'd put me on the Kinsey scale depends a lot who I passed in the street that day :)

I also notice seasonal shifts, both amongst various genders and my overall level of interest - in high summer it's just too hot to get horny (perhaps partly that's also because unlike many people, I prefer my eyecandy to be a little covered up and leave something to the imagination) while I tend to be more into boys in the winter months.

[NakedPostMan]

Well, I see labels and sometimes wonder. I don't know what side of the fence I sit on. I just consider myself to be a Sexual Being. If it's with a woman or a man. I don't go looking for either at this moment in life. I have had my "Gay" episodes, and my "Hetro" episodes. I would really love to be in a poly relationship with a man and a woman. Confused? Maybe so, but that's where I stand at the moment! :bigrin:

[wildangel]

I'm totally with you Naked Post Man. Right now, I'm married with a girlfriend. And I totally love having my cake and eating it too. ;) If I had to choose between the two, the husband would win hands down every time. But hey, why choose if you can have both worlds?

[citystyleguy]

as i have said before (seems that there was a very similar thread here not so long ago?) i am equally attracted to both at the same time, do not give preference of one over the other, etc.

hell, right now i am attracted to five differnet guys i interact within my circle of regular contacts, as well as four women. if anyone were to give a show of interest (and things closer to me were a little smoother) i would pursue with earnest passion. :shades:

[fredtyg]

Very much on the homo side for the last 15 years or so at 55 years old. On a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being full homosexual and 1 being straight, I'm a 9.5.

[RockGardener]

If I would have answered this in 2008 when it was first posted, I would have said more on the the het side. Two years ago, I would have said 50/50.

Now, I am equally able to fall in love with a man or a woman...... I am so deeply in love with a woman, it seems I barely have room in my brain for a guy. I really have no interest in finding new love at the moment.

I guess I'm just a Mariesexual!!!!

[ChiropteranDiva]

I thought I was straight. And yet I've fallen in love with a woman. I'm presently re-evaluating everything, including all the times I've looked appreciatively at cleavage and the time I kissed my best friend. So I'm definitely confused, but I'm surprised at how comfortable I am with finally acknowledging the fact that I am bisexual:)

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Wow this is an old one. :} I wasnt able to express my bi side until I moved up here in 2003, and it took me a while to get into the uhm...swing of things. But once I did, I reveled in it. :bigrin: I am still very bi-select, meaning that I am picky as hell who I play with, but I dont shy away from certain ladies either.
Aw well. Just be who you are and love your life the way it is. :bigrin::male::female::three:
Cat

[MarieDelta]

If I would have answered this in 2008 when it was first posted, I would have said more on the the het side. Two years ago, I would have said 50/50.

Now, I am equally able to fall in love with a man or a woman...... I am so deeply in love with a woman, it seems I barely have room in my brain for a guy. I really have no interest in finding new love at the moment.

I guess I'm just a Mariesexual!!!!

Very much a rocksexual :tongue:

[TaylorMade]

I think of myself as a scale... if my scale is tipped too far in one direction, I feel out of balance - - I crave what the other side has to offer.

I had a g/f . . . I craved men.

I am with a man. . . I crave a woman.

But I admit I relate to women the way some men relate to other men. I don't want to walk down the aisle with one, but... the sex! Meeting and dating women is almost impossible for me too.

*Taylor*

[tequilafan]

I identify more as hetero, and my bi side is mainly in the context of MFM, group sex, etc. I find some guys that are attractive but not interested in having guy/guy only sex. However, in a threesome, I am into some serious cock sucking. Where does this place me? Who cares... I am flexible, and always have a good time. Isn't that about all one can hope for in life?

[balmone]

I am more lesbian than straight. My male partner is more straight than gay.

[eddievb91]

all depends for me, sometimes im more attracted to women, sometimes to men. right now my attractions are rather equal but could change as for me theyre cyclical

[Paragon]

Man, is this an easy question to answer: hetero side. I love women. A lot. But, since my wife and I did a bit of swinging and I was able to explore my bi side I am pretty helplessly addicted to cock.

I don't want to kiss guys or hold hands or date or anything, and I absolutely hate dudes touching my nipples! I just want to suck. (Seriously, what's with the nipple thing?) If I wasn't a hard core realist I wouldn't even call myself bi.

I do love cock though. And although my wife is very turned on by that most of my experience with guys has been one on one.