Bisexual open relationship?? what are ur thoughts?

[John9902]

ok, so i have this wonderful girlfriend.. She admitted early in the relationship she is bisexual and i have admitted I am a bisexual man. I can say that in the earliest parts of the relationship i found myself still fooling around with giving guys head behind her back,, but eventually i stopped after realizing how great of a relationship i was having. We do get along wonderfully and love eachother, so it kinda just grew on me that well,, she pleases me enough.. HOWEVER,, the other day she told me about how it would be fun to have a threesome with another guy or girl,, (bisexual either way) and she would be down for pretty much anything.. I have always wanted to try this,, and yes it is definetly a turn on for me as well! I could be down for fucking another chick or sucking another dude and fucking him, but its "her" that im not sure of lol.. See I one second I think it would be fine and dandy watching her with a man or another woman,, but then the next it messes with my head.. I want to please her and I am sure it would be pleasing for her as well,, i just dont wanna lose that bond between us or have it ruin anything.. Please tell me what all of yall think?

[Herculoid Poirot]

You are not alone, this is a very common concern. Consider the positives that you have: you and your girl are both bi (I consider that a positive!), you are both committed to each other AND you communicate. The main thing right now is the communication, and you have to be honest and specific. What are you looking for? What is she looking for? Tell her about your concerns. What are the positive outcomes? What happens if afterwards or during you find yourself having second thoughts. Talk about all this stuff now and when the time comes to say either yay or nay to an open relationship you will be in a much better position to come to a decision.

[void()]

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[Gearbox]

It's called 'jealousy'. Something that you really can do without, so get rid of it soon as.
Maybe you could see the 3rd as being a tool to make her happy, in the same way as you are too? Only you are more than just a sex tool to her.
I think you already know there's a BIG difference, no matter how much you sexually enjoy another.:)

[*pan*]

having been in a triad i know about jealousy. it is a relationship wrecker. it is as old as man it self, an emotion that is very hard to purge and or deal with once it sets in.

[tenni]

I've been thinking about your post. In theory, I think that bisexuals should be comfortable with the other bi being with same sex if they are a cross gender relationship. What you seem to raise is an uncertainty about your comfort level with seeing your g/f having sex with another man or woman while you are there.


Would you be comfortable with her having sex with a female if you are not present? Would she be comfortable with you having sex with another man without her being present? If so, this attempt to have a threesome may not be for you but other approaches may work.

As Gear and Pan state, it may be your jealousy and not your partner's that is the problem. You may not be able to accept her having sex with anyone else whether you are present or not. That makes it your problem to resolve as it would be selfish to accept yourself having sex with another person but not permitting her the same right.

The bond with her will probably remain if guilt and jealousy do not over ride your judgment. Guilt and jealousy may wreck the bond anyway whether you agree to a more open relationship if it gets control over you.

[orallybi4cpl]

I run into this with couples .. but the key is your relationship and understandings with her.. what is your commitment together?
Is she truly in a committed relationship with you.. or is it 'open'.. meaning that you both can 'date' other people.
There is quite a difference between an Open Relationship and Swinging...
Having a 3some or 4some with a single or couple has different expectations too..
You both need to talk this out and reach an understanding... it's not the jealousy..
it's the confidence in your relationship.. and the complete understanding of each other's feelings about others
you bring into your sex life... without this .. you both could easily be attracted and tempted to leave your relationship
for new horizons at some point.

Since you both are bi.. you both will crave having same sex experiences either together or seperately...
A promising side of this is you both seem to be turned on about each other being bi..and would like
to share the experiences with each other... that's wonderful

A lot depends on if you really love each other.. or you're just friends with benefits.

All is well if you both understand the commitment or lack of commitment in your 'open' relationship.
Hence is this a poly relationship or not an 'open' relationship but rather a relationship that has
swinging as a recreational aspect.

Good Luck to you both.

[John9902]

Thank u everybody for ur posts! I have talked to her about it and I think it is right to say my jealousy has simmered down. We love eachother and that is the key to our relationship. I think we may try a threesome either it be a guy or girl. She even told me she would be fine with me hooking up with another guy from time to time as long as she knew about it. I feel the same with her if she wanted to hook up with another female. sex with the other gender is a different story unless the other was there to enjoy it as well. Everything you all have said has erased my fear of this being a problem and i thank you for that. Once again I thank you!

[jhg50]

if jealasy is not a problem, trust is another thing to consider. if both are not a problem then go for it. just consider as just sexual pleasure to enjoy

[orallybi4cpl]

how about posting some pics of you both.. we're all curious

[dafydd]

Top of the page on the left hand side of every page in this site contains an input box. That box has a big green rectangle beside it which is captioned "Search". There is also Google (http://www.google.com/) as well as a plethora (https://www.google.com/search?client=ubuntu&channel=fs&q=Search+Engines&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8) of other such research aids. Please do not feel shame in using these.

Did you get out of the wrong side of the void this morning?

d

[JP1986UM]

possessiveness is the bane of any relationship

understanding you do not own your partner and that you stay because of love and free will opens up a myriad of possibilities

[McBice]

I love that . Been in a relationship like that , & was the
best relationship I ever had .

[Emunahd]

possessiveness is the bane of any relationship

understanding you do not own your partner and that you stay because of love and free will opens up a myriad of possibilities

Nicely said.