Best of both worlds

[BatCox40]

I don't know if this has been touched on before. Just scanning the forum archives i haven't seen anything that cought my eye as being similiar.

This was titled "Best of both worlds" which to me, means having a relationship with a male and a female at the same time.

My question is this being unfaithful or not?
Any circumstances that would determine it such as like if both sides were aware of it and accepted it ?
Is it ok to have one as a relationship and have the other as "a bit on the side" so to speak.
Does the same rules apply as other relationships? ie, be faithful and have one person at a time regardless of sex?

As someone who is confused, i would like to hear your opinions. I am new here.

[Long Duck Dong]

lol if all partners agree, are happy with the situation and all concerns are addressed........ then its normally a working poly relationship......

the issue is when you bring in being unfaithful to the mix, as that would apply to each person involved, not just you..... and its a lil hard to be unfaithful to both of your partners, unless you are going outside of the agreed parameters without the ok of the other two partners.....

the issue with being faithful, is how you are being faithful to two partners in the same way you can be faithful to one partner... as being faithful to a person is different to being faithful to the * vows * you have spoken as a aspect of the commitment to the partner/s

so we come to the rules and there are no fixed relationship rules at all... each relationship is unique and functions under its own set of rules and compromises..... the issue is when people automatically assume that there are rules and guidelines, so none are really laid out... and that is why people run into issues in relationships cos they have not talked things out, they just assumed that their partner was going to fulfill a role in their life........

its often blamed on heterosexual norms, which is a load of bs, cos the same thinking happens in most relationships, regardless of sexuality..... the only difference between heterosexual relationships and other relationships, was the idea of a mother and father for the children, IE procreation.... and that formed the basic for the monogamous style relationships as it generally took two committed people to have children and raise a family as parents....thats changing a lot now in society as many fathers are * released * from the responsibility of being a parent and the mothers want the freedom of the single parent.....

so if you want a connection with a male and a female, you ALL have to work out what each other wants with the others and from the others and what are the guidelines within the relationship as a whole..... and give equal ear and voice to the others concerns as its not all about you.... its about each person.......

being in a relationship with a bit on the side, is no different..... its about all of the people involved.....

people will go for things like fuck buddies / friends with benefits as they want the freedom of their lives without the trappings of a relationship, but the sexual contact with people, so that things are easier than having to pick up people for casual sex....... a kinda perfect way to have all the fun without cleaning up after the party.......

so it comes down to you, the people you are with and the type of situation you all want, and what rules you want to have.... cos unless you all agree to rules, there are none..... only the ones that we assume to be there..... and that is what causes so many relationships to fall apart......

[Realist]

Yes, it is possible and it does happen!

In my 20s, when I had more sexual energy than was good for me, but I was fortunate enough to find a married couple who took me into their fold. It was the best of any relationship I'd ever had. For about 13 months I lived with and loved them both...it was fantastic! I believe I could have stayed with them for the rest of my life!

We were in the military and they were transferred....it was a sad break-up!

Later, I was invited by the husband to join another married couple. However, that relationship soon ended because of the husband's jealousy and some basic rules hadn't been discussed beforehand. I doubt if even a slight amount of jealousy will allow a poly relationship survive.

The lesson I learned is, that it's difficult for two people to have a viable relationship and, when a 3rd/4th is brought in, it can quickly turn sour. Openness and good communications may be a cliche, but they are the key to beginning on the right foot.

For me, at least, is was important that all parties agree upon what is best for the "team".

Developing a good understanding, up front, creates a good foundation for any relationship.

[The Bisexual Virgin]

Yes, it is possible and it does happen!

In my 20s, when I had more sexual energy than was good for me, but I was fortunate enough to find a married couple who took me into their fold. It was the best of any relationship I'd ever had. For about 13 months I lived with and loved them both...it was fantastic! I believe I could have stayed with them for the rest of my life!

We were in the military and they were transferred....it was a sad break-up!

Later, I was invited by the husband to join another married couple. However, that relationship soon ended because of the husband's jealousy and some basic rules hadn't been discussed beforehand. I doubt if even a slight amount of jealousy will allow a poly relationship survive.

The lesson I learned is, that it's difficult for two people to have a viable relationship and, when a 3rd/4th is brought in, it can quickly turn sour. Openness and good communications may be a cliche, but they are the key to beginning on the right foot.

For me, at least, is was important that all parties agree upon what is best for the "team".

Developing a good understanding, up front, creates a good foundation for any relationship.

AWWWWWWWW! That sounds so wonderful. I wish I could be in a similar situation like you were in, but only sometimes. I like being by myself sometimes.

[tenni]

I think that it is possible to create a poly situation. I agree that the more people that are involved in this situation or relationship the more difficult it may become. We are bisexuals for the most part and I personally wonder if it may be best to create your poly situation involving "our own" kind rather than a monosexual.(hetero or gay)l Monosexuals may be more inclined to have toxic "issues" with monogamy that may make the situation negative. Communication seems to be very important as well as flexibility. A more open perspective of love is also required. Jealousy and envy seem to be the enemies of a positive poly relationship.

A friend of mine started with a hetero relationship and has expanded the relationship to include another man in a closed loop relationship. They do not live in the same location presently and that adds complications. The heterosexual in the relationship with two bisexual men has broadened and opened up her perspective on sexuality but it has been challenging. Each has their own unique relationship with each of the people involved and not all three are sexually involved with each other. In other poly relationships all three may be involved sexually.

I've only just scanned this website but the OP may want to check it out.

http://bimarriedandhonest.blogspot.com/p/clr-closed-loop-relationship.html

[mooon]

Yes, it can work.
It is not cheating if everyone knows about it.

My wife is very understanding about my need for mansex.
She agreed to open the marriage, after 27 years.

Fortunately, she does not feel threatened by my having a BF. But I had better not act too interested in any other women!

She knows my BF and likes him too. We do not do threesomes.

I am blessed, and I know it.

It helps to have some rules that everyone agrees to. The main rule for us is mutual respect and open communications.