How did U realise???

[joshua_134]

Hey all,
im a bicurious guy and im interested to learn all i can and find out how other people realised they were gay or bi. It would be really good if you could fill me in on how you realised you were gay or bi.

If you dont want to put it into a reply you can email me at joshua_134@yahoo.com.au

Cheers

Luv Josh XOXO

[NightHawk]

My wife once had an affair with a male friend of ours and she told me about it. We decided to get together once and share my wife and we all greatly enjoyed it. Later, I had a great night with his wife. This got me thinking about being more experimental in general about sex and love. The more my wife and I tried various sexual activities out, the more I realized that there were many ways that two male friends could give each other a lot of pleasure. I wondered what it would be like to have sex with a male friend. It did not seem like a bad idea. Since I liked the company of men as analytical thinkers, for being less emotionally mercurial, and for their interest in sports and more physical activities, I thought it would be natural to enjoy sex with an intimate male friend. My wife and I attended an all-male XXX movie once and we were both turned on by it. Later fantasies and many stories at Literotica proved to be exciting. Since I know of no valid ethical reason to rule out male-male sex, it simply seems foolish to deprive myself of this further expression of the joy of life.

[becksbolero]

"since i like the company of men...."
woah,I'm thinking you might hear from some ladies on that statment Nighthawk!

[jedinudist]

It actually took me a long time to admit it to myself, but I have always felt attracted to both sexes pretty much equally. I became sexually active at a very young age, and have always liked guys and gals.

I tried telling myself it was a "phase" or a host of other excuses - but now that I am accepting my sexuality for what it is, I am much more at peace with myself and my journey.

Good luck wqith your journey!

Blessed Be~

[pmg_ams01]

Hi Josh,

(this is the brief version!)

From an early age I've always been curious and had a strong urge to see other men's bodies, but never understood what that meant in terms of my overall sexuality. I had a string of successful relationships with women in my 20s but never any male sexual partners - in spite of the fact that my best friend at home came out as gay. I got married in my late 20s and still am, 16 years later. However a year or so ago, I was surfing the net and found some bi resources and after navigating round some very useful sites, I read different descriptions of bisexuality. It hit me like a ton of bricks - I was reading about people like me and at last I felt like I'd found a "midway" (or another place) between straight and gay - which was a relief because I knew neither of those standard labels fitted.

So here I am as a member of this community. I've discussed my feelings with my wife, who's not very happy about the situation but we are still together. I'm trying to get some counselling to help me understand and to open up more about my inner feelings, but I have to say there are some great people on this site who have made a tremendous difference to what I know and understand about myself and people like me. I see my journey as just beginning and heaven knows where it will end, but at least I feel less alone, and more positive about the future.

If you want to chat or discuss it further, I'm happy to do so.

Pete.

[Lovetolove]

I think I have always been bi. As a little girl playing house with other little girls, I always wanted to be the man/husband. I can remember kissing my friends on the mouth and if they let me I would put my fingers in their stuff. I had my first experience while in high school with an older women, it was great and I knew from that moment that I enjoyed both men and women. I have been married for 20 years and I told my husband from the start of our relationship and life has been wonderful ever since.


Life is too short, make the best of each day.

[ScifiBiJen]

Unlike most of the previous post-ers, I have not always been aware of my bisexuality. On the contrary, I was quite "straight", even though I was still an activist for GLBT rights. However, I'd had this nagging feeling that I was overlooking something about myself... something that might explain how connected I felt with my GLBT friends. After a lot of thought and discussion, I realized that I had been seriously repressing my innate sexual attraction toward women. It was through the help of my boyfriend (also bi), that I came to see myself as I really am.


:flag1:

[KatieBi]

Unlike most of the previous post-ers, I have not always been aware of my bisexuality. On the contrary, I was quite "straight", even though I was still an activist for GLBT rights. However, I'd had this nagging feeling that I was overlooking something about myself... something that might explain how connected I felt with my GLBT friends. After a lot of thought and discussion, I realized that I had been seriously repressing my innate sexual attraction toward women. It was through the help of my boyfriend (also bi), that I came to see myself as I really am.

Gee, I don't really need to post here, because ScifiBiJen (nice nickname, by the way), has basically just given my exact answer for me ... lol. I appreciate my slow awakening now, in that I have a better understanding of how straight people perceive me (seeing as how I "used to be one", lol), and I came into myself in a mature and very supportive environment, as opposed to during those horribly awkward and self-conscious early teen years. :tong:

[open2both]

I was always lucky with the ladies until a severe sports injury landed me in the hospital and ultimately a wheelchair. My so-called girlfriends split on me but fortunately the male nurses and physical therapists were gay and supportive and I was "introduced" to same sex actions. LOVE IT!

[DiamondDog]

I grew up thinking that I was "straight" and that almost everyone had attractions to the same gender and even had sex with the same gender (even as adults from time to time) but just didn't talk about it. Or I believed all the mis information about bisexuality like I thought that you had to be "50/50" in your sexual/romantic attaction, have anal intercourse, or like a wide variety of men like how I liked a wide variety of women.

Or I'd have fantasies/dreams about men and I grew up thinking that it was just a "phase", or something to "get over", but at the same time I kinda knew that it wasn't and even when I was in late highschool I knew I'd be starting to have sex with men at this age.

I remember I would think, oh well what if I have sex with a man and I don't like it? But that wasn't the case.

[Biboz49]

I didn't realize I was bi until I was in my early 40's. I recall being aroused at thinking about naked male bodies and male body parts when I was around 8 or 9 years old. Later I remember being attracted to another guy when I was in my mid 20's. In my early 40's I began exploring the idea of having sex with guys, mostly out of curiousity. I've always been very horny and was always very much attracted to almost any women I met so I just passed off the male attraction as active hormones. Looking back I also realize that my interest was always peaked at reading articles about the gay lifestyle. After 20 years of marriage I separated and met a woman who was really turned on by watching 2 guys together. We were very open with each other and I began explaining my interests and desires. We began fantasizing about 3 somes with another guy. Having such a supportive partner that way is what really brought out my bi side and I haven't looked back. Now I'm with the love of my life and I've been totally upfront with her since the beginning of our relationship about my bisexuality. She is so supportive. Now she is beginning to explore her bi side as well. Life is great! :bigrin:

[bobthecat69]

when i was 16,i was in the canadian militia,one of the officers asked if i can come to his place and help him move some stuff, after we moved what we had to move,we had a couple of drinks,then he started to kiss me ,before i knew it,i had no clothes on,even though i had a girlfiend, we got together a couple more times.I am in my forties now and married with a very active sex life,but i always find myself thinking about the officer and myself.................it will happen again.........bob :tongue:

[KevsBi]

When I was probably a freshman or sophomore in High school, we had gym or p.e., I remember how excited I got when watching other guys get naked in the locker room/taking showers. I just kind of blew that off as confusing until my sophomore year in college when one night my roomate, who was bisexual himself, made a move on me and I did'nt stop him. While having sex with him that night, it made me realize how much I enjoy having a warm bod beside me...be it male or female.

[NightHawk]

Of course I enjoy the company of women who think analytically, can maintain a reasonably even keel emotionally, and who like sports and physical activities also, BecksBolero! I would be glad to hear from them. The ladies who cannot be so characterized are fine too, but perhaps not so pleasurable from my perspective. So far no one has expressed displeasure with my preferences, but then we do live in an often overly sensitive time. ;)

[gentlepen9]

It was a slow awakening for me. I was always attracted to girls as well as guys but because I didn't have any model or framework to put my dual attractions in, I pretty much ignored it. It wasn't until I went to college and found myself terribly attracted to a female friend that my true nature started to slap me in the face. But at that time I still didn't know what to call it. I knew that I wasn't completely straight but I wasn't completely gay either. It was rather baffling and so I tried to just put it out of my mind.
Although I dated men, I secretly fantasized about romancing women. The way that I played it out in my mind was rather unique though. Because I was so accustomed to seeing only male/female couples I would create a male counterpart in my mind to carry out the fantasized romance. This figure was really me in male form and this helped to make the fantasies less alarming. I didn't realize that this was what I was doing until I started studying Jungian psychology.
But while I was trying to be "proper" with my fantasies, my psyche was trying to shock me into reality. I started to have recurring sexual dreams involving me and other women. These dreams made me say to myself "Ok, I need to take some time and understand what's going on here." I still lacked the framework and language to put my attractions in. The only thing I knew was that you were either gay or straight and I felt that I didn't fit either category. For a long time my sexuality was up in the air. Matter of fact I tried to distance myself from it. I would go through the act but shut down emotionally.
It wasn't until two years ago that I learned about bisexuality. I felt an instant sense of relief. It made so much sense and just felt natural to me. Being able to identity my sexuality put me back in touch with it and now I feel more at peace. The only thing that bothers me now are the misconceptions and stereotypes of bisexuals.
:yinyang:

[ScifiBiJen]

Gee, I don't really need to post here, because ScifiBiJen (nice nickname, by the way), has basically just given my exact answer for me ... lol. I appreciate my slow awakening now, in that I have a better understanding of how straight people perceive me (seeing as how I "used to be one", lol), and I came into myself in a mature and very supportive environment, as opposed to during those horribly awkward and self-conscious early teen years. :tong:


I'm glad to hear that someone else has had a similar experience. And I agree, it was so much nicer to come out in a much more open-minded community than it would have been during those already stressful and awkward years.

:flag1:

[citystyleguy]

well, josh;

now looking back, at the time it was all in stages, not really realizing that what i was would be now called bi-sexual. i think when i began my fascination with men was at summer camp; my parents sent me every year and can remember looking forward to it, not only for the activities, but i know i liked all that masculinity of our camp counselors, who were charged with turning us all into fit young men. they didnt think anything of stripping in front of us young things, or taking us for workouts in the gym or swimming in the lake (that's when i found out about speedos). then came intermediate and high schools, followed by university.

the confusion ran supreme when, simultainously(sp?) during this same period of my life i began to discover the oh! so! fine world of girls!!! got my first real girlfriend in 6th grade, same time i had a passion for my swim coach at the y. i figured if it all felt this damn good, and all the people that told me these things were very bad for you (the same folks that said if i masturbated, i would go blind, etc.) and nothing happened (i just got hornier and hornier, and my eyesight stayed 20/20) why the hell would i listen to them, though i never listened all that well anyway!

when university happened, and all those parental, societal, and theological constraints were questioned one by one and dropped, one by one, i never looked back. i let society and its institutions give me labels for what i did, ignored them anyway, and stayed within my circle of friends. our group was less interested in other people, then in refining techniques and exploring such willing partners all the while, the guys were very willing victims for the exploring natures of the women. several of the girls wanted to have 3somes with two guys, and as i was always willing, it was one less guy to convince.

i did not so much question and/or hide from my nature, as to follow its desires and demands, and learnt to be more accepting then rejecting. hope this helps answer some questions!

wishing you peace, fullfillment, and an even and steady path ahead!

[strawberry8302]

Well, I first realized I was bi when i was 12. Of course I didn't fully "realize" it, because I was only 12, I had never heard of a bisexual, let alone knew what one was. But I was experimenting with other girls, showing them how to mastrubate, kissing them, and sucking thier pussies. After age 12, I started to focus on boys a little more, and I lost my virginity at 14. Then at 17, I started to pay girls more attention again, and by 18, I declared myself a bisexual. Now I am 19, and I am still proud of who I am. I really noticed I was bi when I caught myself staring at girls asses when they walked by, just as much as I would stare at a good looking guy.
:flag2:

[JrzGuy3]

Quite ironically, I never discovered I wasn't straight; rather, I discovered I wasn't gay. When I was little, I was always the kid who wanted to play house or doctor or dress up. I was aware what gay meant and the difference between gay and straight (though without the gut feeling) well before puberty. At those ages, girl's bodies were never intrigued me, I was aware there was no peepee, but all that said to me was a girl is basically like a guy, but without a fun part (OH how I've learned since). So prior to puberty, I was pretty certain that I was gay. Once the hormones started kicking in around 7th grade, I started liking girls too (I already was infatuated with guys' bodies). So I'd guess the only times I ever thought of myself as straight was in the years that I was just rationalizing liking guys to reconcile it such that I could be "straight."

-Fed

[littlerayofsunshine]

When I was about 8 or nine years old I kissed my first girl, when I was 10 or 11 I had my 1st full nude skin on skin contact with a girl, both times I really enjoyed what my body told me. I didn't start feeling for boys until I was 13 or so. But I will def say from age 10 or 11 I knew I was different.

[jenniferhell@hotmail]

hi josh

i first knew when i was a teen i always looking at women but thought because of my upbringing that it was wron and did nothing about it then when i was 25 i started to expermenting and i found out i enjoyed women more then men and i have not looked back sence and never will :bibounce:

[woolleygirl]

God what a question. :rolleyes: ;)
Well when I was young i would look at other womens bodys and admire and wonder what it would be like to touch them. As I got older and my parent strict up bring made me feel guilty about my feelings toward other woman. As I got older I struggled with that but I still wanted another women. I got married and just coped and worried what my hubby would think so I just kept it to my self. Well last year a friend made a move on me and god it feel so good to touch and be touched my another female. I talked to my hubby and it took him a bit but he is fine with it. Now his is ready to try being with another guy but only as long as I am there he says so he can have me help show him the ropes ;) . So my being bi has made my hubby more accepting of him maybe being bi.

T

[CountryLover]

A common phrase - I always knew I was different. A tomboy, I ran with my 5 boy cousins, played sports, ran wild. Girly things just didn't interest me. Mom bought me dolls - I gave them away. I grew up to work in the fields with our hired hands.

The boys found me at 12 and started chasing me hard.

When I was 14, I spent the night with a girl cousin. She faked a dream about a boy she had a crush on, and I became that boy. We were both totally innocent, touching was all we knew to do.

I started dating at 15, and was so busy enjoying that I pushed the puzzle of that night to the back of my mind. Guys liked me (I know JUST what you're talking about Nighthawk!) because I was always ready to go fishing, talked their language, and played a mean game of street ball LOL

I met my husband at 17, we married at 20, he was ordained at 24, our daughter was born when I was 25 (God has an incredible sense of humor giving me a girl to raise). I was a busy wife and mother, church and office work plus my goat dairy and other farming interests taking up all my time.

But the dreams were there. The inexplicable yearnings were there. I didn't understand them, I only knew gay and straight. I KNEW I wasn't lesbian. Good heavens, NO - I love hetero sex wayyyyyy too much for that to be true. But, once in a great while a special woman would catch my heart and I had no clue what to think about it, so I ignored it.

Fast forward til I was about 38. I had some tough health crisis that ended my strenuous activities like farming and 4-H horsemanship with my daughter. I had a new baby and a damaged heart and suddenly I was housebound.

One day I was online and doing a bit of exploring and chatting. Someone asked the group what were our deepest darkest fantasies. My conservative fundamentalist pastor's wife fingers typed out "Some day I want to make love with a beautiful black woman."

I was more astonished than anyone else! Where in the world had THAT come from? I wasn't lesbian!? Then someone else said I needed to check out this other forum called BiWays.

It was a life changing suggestion. I read the definition of bisexuality, learning the word for the first time. It was just a short definition, "a bisexual is a person who is attracted physically and/or emotionally to people of both sexes".

It was like a huge veil was ripped away and a blinding light shone on a newly revealed side of myself. I was utterly befuddled..."you mean, there's OTHERS like me? I'm not weird? I'm not a pervert? I'm not ALONE?????"

Like I mentioned in another post, it took me all of maybe 15 seconds to full self acceptance. I felt sheer joy to FINALLY understand the meaning of the dreams and yearnings, the attractions that had puzzled me for so many years.

I can honestly say I was never bi-curious. I knew in that instant that I was bisexual. I spent the next 18 months learning, reading, talking to other bi's. I told my husband right away and it became one more way for him to abuse me emotionally and mentally.

Then I had an afternoon with a gorgeous redhead *sigh* a dream come true. Touching her creamy skin, tasting her strawberry nipples......the first taste of her sweet juices, the kisses we shared..... oh yes, I'm fully bisexual!

Now I have a beloved woman partner, she's bi married with 2 small children. We've been together a year now, a delight to both of us. Her hubby is a great guy who is a friend also.

About 6 months ago, I met my honey, a wonderful bisexual man who has blessed my life with more love and beauty. This is how I'm happiest and most fulfilled, with one of each gender.

[miamiuu]

It is an odd story. Growing up I was teased alot by other guys and with girls I felt like they were also annoying. I was pretty antisocial. I do recall in my teens fantasizing about having sex with the male classmates that picked on me and I dont know why maybe it was a control issue. The issue remained pretty much dead till i was a senior in college where i fell hard for this classmate. Scary thing about it is around him i was an emotional wreck and this was coming from someone that was used to being alone. Well I really screwed up things between us and things never developed cus i was a confused sob and didnt have a clue why i cared so much about another guy when the past 4 yrs before i didnt need guys around me. After that event I simply decided that i was bi and that i shouldnt worry about how i feel for someone just accept it and go with that. I'm 28 and have yet to be in a relationship with another male but i decided it is not worth worrying about but also just leave things open so that I dont miss out on a worthwhile relationship with either sexes. At this point i dont see being in a same sex relationship as something i have to do, but as i said im keeping my options open.

[nick3635]

I was never sure ... never really looked at another guy and was turned on but while watching porn loved to see a big cock and watching guys cum ... often fantasized about what it would be like feeling another guy in my hand while he got off ... but that is all it was ... thoughts until I was with a couple like I mentioned before ... love feeling another's guys cock in my hand and giving head ... does that make me bi ? I'm not sure and really am not concerned ... biggest thrill to me is oral with a woman while a guy is inside her at the same time ... I believe like most guys they have thought about it but would never actually do it ... a woman asked me to .. I did and I don't regret it .. the only thing I do regreg is not being able to meet people like that since ... but there is allways hope ! :-0

[ophelia_in_red]

I started a thread a little while back about how I chose my sexuality :)

http://main.bisexual.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1569

[shameless agitator]

What a great thread! I think I've known at some level since I was about 8 or 9 but I managed to stay in denial for a very long time. I kind of came to the realization gradually. I started to kind of wonder about 10 years ago why so many gay men kept hitting on me & wondering if maybe they knew something I didn't. That kind of kept me wondering off & on but I still never really thought about it seriously. About 5 years ago I got a pretty big wake up call. My ex shoved her finger up my ass & I absolutely loved it. I hit the snooze bar. About 2 years ago *she* came out of the closet. At that point I finally started saying well you know I think I might be.... When I finally admitted it to myself was a couple months ago when this same ex introduced me to a male friend who pretty much took my breath away. I was actually ignoring my attraction to him pretty well until on the premise of having me weigh in on an argument he was having with my ex about if he was really hairy he put my hand under his shirt on his chest. My reaction at that point was pretty undeniable.

yeah sometimes ya gotta smack me over the head with stuff before I see it.

[Avocado]

Click on my signature :bigrin:

[deepbluejamie]

For as long as I can remember, I was always attracted to both sexes as friends and then as someone to sneak around and do "nasty things" with.
The only bad experence in my life was when I was molested as a child by a strange uncle. But, that was abuse and not friendship or love.
So I would not add the label of that experence to why I am Bisexual.
I was checking out Johnney Weismueller, Steve Reeves, Stefenie Powers, Judy Collins and the adults and teens in the neighborhood long before that happened.
I also never went through that weird stage of hating girls, I think that is because being attracted to both sexes. I also indentified with the emotions of both.
I can remember being called a sissy and a fag in school and having my father belittle me for not being more of a "man".
But, I don't care now because once I learned that I loved both sexes, the rest just feel into place. But, I have always been this way which leads me to agree with the newer data that backs the theories that we are all born with our preferences. I will defend anyone who takes the side of nature and not nurture.
I am living proof of it. If it was nurture, I would have learned to be a biased bigot who hates everyone, beats my spouse and kids when I am not to drunk to see them. And then, is a deacon of the Church on Sunday Mornings. :eek:

[nick3635]

I love women and their body's and love getting them off orally .. I enjoy doing the same thing to a guy also ... but have not and not sure about one on one with a guy ... anal ..maybe with the right people .... I knew for a LONG time I wanted to j/o and go down on another guy ... I'm glad I did and want to explore that side of me more with the right folks.

[titeabs]

My first instinct was senior year in high school watching a track meet. There was a guy who definitely was gifted with his size , which I could see easily in his track shorts. I was mesmorized!! The rest of the meet I seemed to keep track of him , and hoping he would 'check' me out. ;)
Another time, a few years later, I was coaching track, and saw the most incredible speciman in a spandex, and to this day, still j/o to that visual. I have come to appreciate the male body as I would an attractive woman, and am ok with that......
I have only been with two guys in my life, but definitely have felt compelled to be with one, since that desire hit me like a wave sooooooo many years ago.....I am hard thinking about that guy RIGHT NOW. :rolleyes:

[element_of_wind]

I finally admitted to myself that I was bi while looking at porn. Eventually, I decided I liked the guys as much as the girls!

Before I had lied to myself and pretended that I was straight. Once I admitted I was bisexual, the world made more sense; my doubts were gone. It was more of an intuitive understanding than a rational one.

Well... it's a little more complicated than that.

Read on if you care.

The rural town I grew up in was very conservative and homophobic. Gay people were supposed to be hated and made fun of, and this lingering attitude kept me from admitting I was bisexual to myself for a long time. Several times while growing up I would think to myself that other men were attractive, but I would always push those thoughts out of my head.

Personally, I didn't feel that there was anything wrong with being gay, or with being bisexual. But I was still afflicted with the lingering prejudice of my community. I didn't want to be gay, or even partly gay, because of the bigotry of the people I grew up with. I was a coward. Maybe I still am.

For a long time, I was in a transitional period, in which I lied to myself about being straight. I labored under the assumption that I was "straight with a bisexual twist," and assumed that "bisexual twist" could be surpressed my entire life. The few moments I failed to repress that, and allowed myself to be briefly attracted to other men, I felt horrible shame. I lied to myself for a long time.

When I stopped lying to myself, I felt like a hero vanquishing a demon. I was stronger, more free, and more complete. It was like a set of gears in my soul had been turning out of alignment, and were suddenly repaired. Where it comes to my sexuality, the doubts in my mind have vanished. I know, intuitively, that I am bisexual.

I wouldn't say that I'm proud of being bisexual, any more than I'm proud of my eye color. But I'm glad that I'm no longer ashamed. If you had asked me four years ago what sexual orientation I would *like* to be, I would have said "straight." Now, I wouldn't choose to be anything other than bisexual. There are still many problems and weaknesses with my life and myself. But, by finally admitting my sexuality to myself, a sector of my concerns were erased.

In one way, I'm glad that I grew up in that homophobic town - it gave me a demon to vanquish.

Now, my contempt for the old values of my hometown have doubled. Lying to myself hurt, and more than I ever I despise the attitudes or doctrines that tell people to pretend to be what they aren't.

[Tynary]

I was eleven when I first started thinking how attractive women were so being the impulsive person I was I decided without thinking about it that I was bisexual because I was immature and had heard the term somewhere but didn't really understand. I grew up a little and thought that it was immature so became straight and didn't think about the possibility of liking women again till I was in senior school. I had always liked the idea of gay people since my mother explained to me what it was when I was little after watching a film about it. I always stuck up for gays in arguments. I developed a strong sexual appetite very quickly and was of course frustrated since I could do nothing about it till I had the idea to sort of trick a girl into being my girl friend. I liked men I guess so I thought I was bi but after my girlfriend broke up with me the bad experience sent me back to straight again. I suffered great confusion with my sexuality from then on. I didn't meet many attractive men since I was at a single sex school and the ones I did meet put me off men. I thought I was a lesbian for a long time and had a second girlfriend who I brock up with after a while and moved to a boy's school. I still thought I was a lesbian for a while then sea sawed once more back to straight and then lesbian again. It took me years to come to terms with my sexuality and stopped hating myself and worrying about it and I as I grew up I realised there is nothing wrong in liking both girls or boys. I am not betraying gays by being bisexual. I found out as was definetly bi at 15 and haven't changed since. I'm happy now.....or I would be if I had a hot girl or boyfriend or better yet both!

[Herbwoman39]

I was in very deep denial up until the age of 38 (I turn 40 in Jan). I used to say I was so straight I had trouble turning corners. And then one night we were attending a live theater performance of eight 11 1/2 minute mini plays dealing with controversial subjects.

I realized as i watch this gorgious,powerful blonde woman on the stahe that I wanted her. I wanted to be WITH her. I wanted to know what it would be like to feel the texture of her skin under my fingers.

Ever do a mental doubletake? My denial was ripped away in that brief 11.5 minute period. So the first person I told was my husband. He took it very well and suggested that rather than jumping to any conclusions that I should talk to the therapist I was seeing briefly.

I spoke to her and, thank Gods, I found the Klein Orientation Grid. Both confirmed that yes, I had an attraction to women. So I started doing some deep soul searching and managed to remember a few things. The big one was that I had justified my attraction to women as being an appreciation of the female form as art. Yes. Denial.

Somehow when I was young I got the message that being gay was great...for others but not for someone in our family. Heck, I've been attracted to women since I was 9 and I've liked boys since I was 5. Thanks to society's messages I just wasn't able to face it until almost 2 years ago.