Advice about loosing my virginity...

[Ewerton]

Hi, I'm a bisexual male, I'm 20 years old and am extremely confused! I'm still a virgin to both sexes, haven't even had any kind of sexual contact with anyone ( trust me , that's frustrating). Now, I lean much more to being a bottom with men and with women oh well it's obvious. Now I really really wanna have sex with a man, you know, do everything a girl does while having sex but the problem is something in me is telling me not to have any kind of sexual contact with men before I loose my virginity to a girl, although I still fantasize about men. My fear is that having sex with men shall then be more important than having sex with girls which is my "main sexuality'. The opportunity to mess around with a guy ( as a bottom) has just presented itself and I'm not willing to go anywhere beyond oral the very first time...and on the other hand it might work out as well with a girl I've known for a while, it's pretty obvious she's into me and besides that I'm totally in love with her. Now considering that I'm 70% into girls and 30 % into men, do you think that going forward with messing around with a guy, sucking his cock, let him play with my butt just to see how it fells like will affect my male sexuality in any way, or better yet the thrill of fucking a girl for the first time { right, right seconds of thrill but still } Or even let it go all the way to intercourse before I loose my virginity to a girl? I really wanna do it but I don't want that to be the first time I have sexual contact with someone...

Can anyone please help me? please? I don't know what to decide! It ain't necessary to say that my first concern in all this is preventing STD's....

thanks for reading my post... have a good day.

[Gearbox]

I'm sure there's a very similar thread here somewhere.:tongue:

I'd say, due to you having feelings for the female, that you'd best get the m-m sex done before you go any further with her.
That's JUST for that reason alone!!

I don't have a clue if your 70% leaning towards females will be effected. But if you bottom with a good top, I'm sure you'll want more.;)
If you are afraid of your masculinity or dominant role with females will be effected by your bottoming for a man, then I have no clue again.

Sorry I'm not much help. You just got to experience things for yourself, and see what happens. That's basically how life works.:bigrin:
Don't stress though!! That's one thing that's no good in ANY situation!

[tenni]

I would agree that you might want to explore same sex fun first. You do not have to bottom as a first time activity with another guy. Explore after you have set your expectations and limits with the other guy first. Guys are more inclined to negotiate what sexual activity that they will play. If you don't know how far you want to go keep it simple. See if the other guy agrees. You seem to be interested in sexual exploration without emotions with men.

Guys tend to have simpler expectations. (not all)

You may want to meet him at least once in a public place without sex as a way to screen them. Let him know that you are only meeting and if you both are interested sex may happen at the next meeting. Make that clear to the other guy. You might also wish to establish a social friendship rather than a casual approach. Masturbate before going to meet him the first time to reduce your urge to go for it on the first meeting. ;) I personally would suggest that you stay away from casual sex in bathrooms, parks etc. Less quality control there.

As far as STD, the protection angle is all over the web the basic is no anal without a condom and tons of lube. You do NOT have to do anal to enjoy being sexually with a guy imo!!!. Don't let anyone pressure you to until or if you are comfortable. Use your judgment as to which guys that you will become active. Ask questions. Are they a newbie like you? Do they do anal? Have they ever barebacked? What do you want to do? What will they do with you? Know your road map to some extent. If you are both newbies, that is ok. Body contact, a wank and suck may be all that you need to start. Even less.

Generally, you are fairly safe with oral but some demand condoms for oral. There are several STD's that you may get and it isn't always easy to tell. Use your judgment about who you are willing to get naked with. Some guys may lie to you and so be careful. Don't become over anxious about STD though. You don't seem interested in anal outside of having your butt played with. Go slow. As a general rule, I would not get involved with anal until you had been with the guy a few times. If it is a one time thing and he wants anal. I'd pass. It is up to you though.

You are who you are as far as masculinity. Having sex with a man won't change that. You may feel guilt unless you become comfortable with having sex with men and women.

Women, on the other hand, are more inclined to ask that you invest emotionally before sex. Not all but as a general tendency if you are interested in sex without emotion, that is less likely with women. If you fall in love with a woman you may initially put your same sex interest away thinking that it is over. It may not be and resurface later in life. Then it is very complicated if you marry the woman. Are you also going to seek a woman who is open minded enough for you to continue playing with men or expects such behaviour to stop? See much more complicated with women first.:bigrin:

This is my opinion. Others may have other views.

[Herculoid Poirot]

I think you can relax about having one type of sex affect you. What you like, you like.

I'd say it's more important to follow your heart (or other organ) and go with what you feel is right. And I also think it's wise to be honest with everyone about where you're at. You don't have to have anything particularly deep to say, it can be as simple as "I'm bi and looking to explore my possibilites."

[elian]

Yes, I'm sure this isn't the first time this question was asked in the forum.

You certainly don't have to have anal sex the first time you meet with a guy, some are very happy just to have mutual masturbation..as a matter of fact I would probably recommend AGAINST anal your first time meeting with a guy unless you REALLY want to try it..maybe try some toys instead if you've never experimented anally before.

If you are meeting guys online choose a public place the first time you meet in person. Try to get to know if this is the person you really want to have sex with. Have a nice meal maybe or some coffee - There is more than one guy in the world who is interested in having sex so if something doesn't seem right you had a nice meal and part ways..

I am inclined to think you ought to try the male sex first too, simply because it's less complicated that way. If you get involved with a woman first and THEN find out you're really into guys halfway into the relationship she may not want to share you with someone else.

[magic669]

I had sex with men a long time before I had sex with women, and it did not affect my relationships with women. I don't think you need to worry that having sex with a male first will somehow bend or warp you into a direction you would not go otherwise. Also, I don't think that having sex with a woman because you feel like you ought to is a good idea. That would not be fair to the woman. Do what you want to do, what you feel drawn to do. "Should" is the road to repression.

[darkeyes]

Lost me virginity almost 18 years ago now and an just havent been able 2 lay me hands on it since!!!!:(;)