Maximos0153
Jan 11, 2012, 1:46 AM
I'm in a LTR with my partner and after 15 years he thinks he is bi. I want to support with no judgement issues. I do not feel "bi is less" but I'm not sure what to do. I suggested we start watching bi porn.. Any insights or comments
Thx
bigbadmax
Jan 11, 2012, 2:09 AM
bi porn is basically gay porn with a "token" female in it.
Not really sure what words of advice I can offer except there are members on here who were gay and now bi and of course the reverse as well.
All I can suggest is try to gllen info from threads posted ref finding out partner is bi...sorry i cant help.
Long Duck Dong
Jan 11, 2012, 2:24 AM
hi and welcome to bisexual.com....both of you :tong:
being a gay partner with a bi partner, is a interesting mix and there are a good number of gay males with bi partners that would be able to give a better insight into things than me......
the easiest advice that anybody can give, is do not change anything, continue to give them the love, support and caring that you have done for the last 15 years.... this person is still your partner... they are evolving as your partner....
what can make it harder to handle than other aspects of evolving in relationships, is the fact that it can involve intimacy and sexual interaction with other people.....and often a person can feel like they are no longer part of the nucleus of the relationship....
some fears / concerns that differ with a gay male / bi male relationship is parenthood ( what happens if a lady is involved and becomes pregnant ) what if my partner wants a open / poly long term relationship with myself and a lady, can i handle the idea of him being intimate with a female and do i have any issues that would make it harder to handle ( some gay males have a aversion to the female genitalia, the idea of being intimate with a female, can make them physically ill )
ok 15 years is a good relationship foundation, and opening up into a open relationship is no different to a heterosexual couple, it takes time, understanding, commitment, love and honesty between partners.... so any threads that you read that refer to hetero / bi partners, can be transposed to gay / bi and still carry the same understanding ....
bi porn can be a good start, tho members often refer to the lack of good bi porn out there lol.... so finding good porn to watch, that feature more than a generic soundtrack, plastic models and the square dance of sex, can be difficult to find.... so are bi mags a option as well ?
drew ( the owner of this site ) has a pay site called threepillows (http://www.threepillows.com/index2.phtml) that has regular bisexual vids and updates......
one thing that you both will need to address is how much do you both want to be involved in the intimacy if your partner is bisexual and wants a female partner..... do you be a silent partner, do you want to know what is going on, do you want to meet the people, does your partner want you to know, be involved ...... and is it going to be a temp thing or a long term relationship.... Friends With Benefits...?
the easiest way to not be judgemental of bisexuals, is to not judge them for their sexuality, only their actions.... as much of what bisexuals do, is not cos of their sexuality, its cos of their attitudes and opinions, and that is something that I dare say you notice around your friends, its not their sexuality that is the reason they can be judged harshly but their attitudes and opinions..... I am excluding the people that are anti gay people and rights there as they are in a class of their own when it comes to be judgemental towards people.....
expression of a opinion about how you feel and what you think about people, like bisexuals, doesn't make you biphobic, if you disagree with our lifestyle, as often its a expression of your personal understanding..... so feel free to express your own personal feelings about being with a bisexual partner and how you feel about some bisexuals in general, as talking about it, even the negative stuff, is often a help, not a hinderance... lol besides, having a good ball bashing, head clearing, window rattling vent is good for the heart and soul.......
does your partner have any lady in mind that he is drawn to, or is it a open attraction / interest aspect at this stage ???