I'm very much in need of help, please!!!

[CBRFAN]

:bipride:

I feel so sad and frustrated and I really need as much advice as I can get, but please (you'll understand why as you read) don't write back to this message, write me e-mails to fancbr @ hotmail.com (without the spaces before/after @)...

Here's why I feel sad and frustrated: I've known for many years that I'm bisexual and I'm proud to be it, I'm 32 years old and in my lifetime I've had very few experiences (sexually speaking) with other men, once I went to a brothel to get sex, you can imagine how much I like sex with men, but my experiences are very few. The reason I feel sad and frustrated is because 8 years ago I moved to my country of birth (Colombia), and if you don't know much about Colombia is a very Macho stereotyped country, where a man MUST be a man otherwise he's not well accepted and opportunities might be missed.

For the past 8 years I've had may one night stands, girlfriends and even 2 live-in girlfriends, but I've always wanted to find either a bisexual girlfriend, a girlfriend who very discreatly agrees with my sexuallity, a group of bisexual friends and/or a bisexual (or top gay) man for fun and adventures, BUT considering my line of work, my family, my friends and the overall general culture here in Colombia it's so hard to find any of these types of relationships.

I want to explore my sexuallity MORE and MORE, but how can I if I have to be SUPER disceet, I can't let just anyone know I'm bisexual, I need to maintain (and this sounds bad but it's true) certain status, I feel like crying when I think of this. I don't want to go back and look for a brothel to find a man who can be my friend and maybe later become a sexual partner, or primarily a girlfriend that accpets my bisexuallity and is open to explore with me with sex toys, I need to be more in touch with my bisexuality, but I feel lost and don't know how to do it.

I've tried placing ads through the internet, I've tried telling one or two close people, I've tried placing ads in the local newspaper, but some people hace adviced me to go to bars, but first I don't like the bar scene and second I can not let myself be seeing at one of those...

WHAT CAN I DO??? please help me, I feel very lonely and sad, I need advices, please from the bottom of my heart help me... thank you.

[Ivan Tchakov]

Many years ago, I was teaching school in a small TX town. I met another male teacher & we became very close friends. A mutual friend of ours, knowing of our relationship, wrote to me & ended the letter with the words, "Raise hell, but do it out of town!" It was a flippant way of saying 'don't play too close to home & prying eyes.'

I don't know if you have the freedom to travel even moderate distances, to other cities on business, etc. But a bit of travel coupled with your online ability to locate & meet men in other places, get to know them & to know that you might be compatible friends, would start you out.

The recent movie success in the US, "Brokeback Mountain," had the two men meeting, albeit infrequently, for "fishing trips" into the mountains. A hobby shared with a good friend could provide you some opportunities for intimacy.

I feel for you in your present situation. It must be very difficult.

Ivan

[Sparks]

First of all, don't be afraid. I know how you feel. But know that there are many macho men out there who feel the same as you do. Unfortunaley, mm relations on a bisexual level must be discreet. And from my experience, it's what I prefer. Hang in there buddy. Your feelings are natural. Accept yourself and discreetly live your life.

Fred

[Spicy]

I feel for you my friend. My advice to you would be to hang in there and try to meet someone decreetly. Do not give up it is only a matter of time till something turns up. I wish you all the very best.
Regards,
Spicy.

[rayosytruenos]

The reason I feel sad and frustrated is because 8 years ago I moved to my country of birth (Colombia), and if you don't know much about Colombia is a very Macho stereotyped country, where a man MUST be a man otherwise he's not well accepted and opportunities might be missed.

Hi!

I'm also a Latin guy and I know a bit about macho culture, as I'm from Spain, but I've also seen that much of that culture is just a show, and everyone is similar... Usually the ones having an issue with gays are the ones that probably they are closeted gays themselves, as some experiments have proved.

Ok, what I would advise then is to go to some internet chatrooms like latinchat:

http://www.latinchat.com/

and there you can see a lot of rooms to choose from, among them, a room for gays, another one for lesbians and another one for bisexuals, under the group "tendencias" ("tendencies").

Also there, under the group "paÃ*ses y ciudades" ("countries and cities"), you can go to the room for Colombia.

But what I would advise you to do is to go directly to a room in the group "caliente" ("hot"), like the room "XXX" or "sexo" ("sex"), and when the window of the chat is opened, you can see on the right the list of "usuarios" ("users"). If you pay enough attention, you can see that on the right of the tab for "usuarios", there is another tab for "salas" ("rooms"). Click on the tab for "salas", and you can see then the different groups of rooms, but RIGHT AT THE BOTTOM, you can see the option "salas de usuarios" ("users' rooms"). Click on the option "salas de usuarios" (if you have a popup blocker active, you have then to press the "ctrl" key at the same time you click on the option "salas de usuarios" to let the window pop up).

Then in the "salas de usuarios" window, you can see many public rooms (and some private ones) made by users, and there I'm sure you can find some for Colombia. I'm not sure where exactly you are, but I can tell you that for writing this answer I checked, and at least I saw these 2 rooms: boGotAY (I guess for gays in Bogota), and BARRANQUILLA-SOLAMENTE (ONLY BARRANQUILLA), but I think you can find some other places or make some discreet visits (maybe for business :rolleyes: ) to one of the cities closer to you...

I hope this helps.

All the best,

ray :male: