First TIme: should I loose my virginity to a girl or a man?

[Ewerton]

Hi, I'm a bisexual male, I'm 20 years old and am extremely confused! I'm still a virgin to both sexes, haven't even had any kind of sexual contact with anyone ( trust me , that's frustrating). Now, I lean much more to being a bottom with men and with women oh well it's obvious. Now I really really wanna have sex with a man, you know, do everything a girl does while having sex but the problem is something in me is telling me not to have any kind of sexual contact with men before I loose my virginity to a girl, although I still fantasize about men. My fear is that having sex with men shall then be more important than having sex with girls which is my "main sexuality'. The opportunity to mess around with a guy ( as a bottom) has just presented itself and I'm not willing to go anywhere beyond oral the very first time...and on the other hand it might work out as well with a girl I've known for a while, it's pretty obvious she's into me and besides that I'm totally in love with her. Now considering that I'm 70% into girls and 30 % into men, do you think that going forward with messing around with a guy, sucking his cock, let him play with my butt just to see how it fells like will affect my male sexuality in any way, or better yet the thrill of fucking a girl for the first time { right, right seconds of thrill but still } Or even let it go all the way to intercourse before I loose my virginity to a girl? I really wanna do it but I don't want that to be the first time I have sexual contact with someone...

Can anyone please help me? please? I don't know what to decide! It ain't necessary to say that my first concern in all this is preventing STD's....

thanks for reading my post... have a good day.

[softfruit]

Perhaps you're worrying about it and planning too much?

How about -- losing "it" with whomever it is that first comes along who wants to have sex with you and who you want to have sex with - and exactly how it all fits together can be a bit more of an adventure at the time?

[Realist]

I agree with Soft.

Relax, don't think a thing to death!

I know you're not sure of yourself and, with no experiences, you may not have an idea of what you really want, yet.

When you meet someone you like, who likes you back (whatever their gender) accept it and go with the flow. It may take you a few times to determine what is best for you, but a caring and understanding partner will be a big help in finding your way.

I suggest that you sit down and write down what you want for your first time, then go for it. Don't settle for less than you want, because you will never be satisfied, until you do!

For my first time, I chose an experienced male, to show me the ropes and teach me. Mine was an excellent choice for me and I have never regretted it.

You should do what you feel the most comfortable with.

Good luck!

[bigbadmax]

If you try to hard you probably wont get anything.

Why not look at it as having two virginities...one female and one male. Once youve popped one cherry then maybe try for 2nd...I wouldnt attempt the Holy grail of Male and Female at same time unless it rises......it will send you crazy! :eek:

[lizard-lix]

I agree with all the advice folks gave above..

I started with guys at 11, and had my first intercourse with a girl at 15.. I never really thought about it. I liked sex and if someone wanted to, I went with it. Guys started earlier, or at least the ones I knew, so it was guys first.

Don't worry, find the person or people you like and and go for it (safely).

Figure out if you have a preference, or not, and enjoy what you like.

Oh, and if you manage a bi 3some for your first time, definitely get a lottery ticket, you gonna win :-)

[nitrog100]

I guess you could consider it as having two virginities. I had sex with a girl before I did with a guy. That worked out pretty well for me.

[Goodone]

I really only have two suggestions.

First, like the others have said don't over think it. Just relax, ease the pressure on yourself and enjoy it, you only get to do it once so don't mess it up with anxiety.

Second, I highly doubt the gender of your first will set the weighting of your preferences. My first was male (although involuntarily), my second was also male, my third was female. In terms of sexual acts I am split 50/50, I crave both, in terms of emotional relationships I have a history of females although male is not impossible.

[sexual26]

Like everyone before me has stated don't over think relax and enjoy yourself have fun and explore your sexuality with whomever your first in encounter should be with.

Secondly though if it does end up being with a guy and you enjoy it enough to have intercourse with him I would suggest that you lay him down climb on top and ride him so that you can take it slow and at your own pace. Anal can be a bit painful the first couple of times especially if your partner isn't gental upon insertion.

[lizard-lix]

..snip...

Secondly though if it does end up being with a guy and you enjoy it enough to have intercourse with him I would suggest that you lay him down climb on top and ride him so that you can take it slow and at your own pace. Anal can be a bit painful the first couple of times especially if your partner isn't gental upon insertion.

A little practice with lube, fingers and toys beforehand will make that first penetration a LOT easier, more comfortable and likely a great experience from the start. You can learn to relax your sphincter voluntarily so it opens right up easily. If you have a patient and gentle partner, you can do this with him or her (my first was a strapon). If you would rather, then do it yourself, in either case, it can be a lot of fun, so enjoy the prep.

[LionTamer7]

I'm actually the opposite of the OP in that I feel I want to have sex with a man before a woman so I at least have that experience in mind in case it's not for me. I think on this Kinsey rating, I'm more 3 than a 4, so I feel more inclined to have more non-recreational relationships with the opposite sex.

[FunE1]

"A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush"

Okay, that has to mean something sexual... I think it means, take the opportunity that presents itself (and which you feel comfortable with).

If that's a guy, then sleep with a guy (but yes, be safe, and wear a condom).

If it's a girl, then sleep with a girl (and again, wear a condom).

Who knows? You might get lucky and land a couple for your first time, totally negating the problem (but still requiring a condom ... well, more like two).

[void()]

Void looks at plate of beans, spoon, fork, spork. He would ponder which utensil to eat the beans with, if not for already digging in with his hands, he knows ultimately it is just a plate of beans after all.

[DuckiesDarling]

I gotta say I don't think it should matter in the least. It's whoever turns you on enough to have sex the first time, in my opinion. Good luck :)

[Cc33guy]

This is rhetorical... The first is wherever you feel the most comfort level

[BiCplAz]

I guess you could consider it as having two virginities. I had sex with a girl before I did with a guy. That worked out pretty well for me.

That's exactly right. And they're both very special. I remember both times. I had sex with a guy (8th grade) before a girl (Soph.) Another reason bisexuals have it all:bigrin:

[CRAZMIN4EVERER]

Give your virginity to the one you love ... does not matter a guy or a girl