Husband With holding bisexual dream

[sassy2811]

My husband recently told me he had a bisexual dream. I quickly asked him to tell me about it. I wanted to hear about it and I was very intrigued.

He wouldn't tell me anything. I kept asking and he just wouldn't. I always tell him if I have wet dreams or sexual dreams and he said it's just different for a guy.

I got frustrated and annoyed because I want him to be honest.

How can I make him feel more comfortable?

[SoFlaPolyCouple]

How can you make him feel more comfortable telling you of his sexual dreams of other men Depends on how you honestly feel about them, or the prospect of your husband having sex with men. If you're honestly OK with it, as my wife was, or actually turned on by the thought of seeing your man with another man, as my wife was, you can tell him that and I would be surprised if he didn't open up completely about it.
He's your husband and he knows you, or thinks he does. If he's not telling you it's possibly out of fear of rejection or judgement from you. If the prospect of your husband being bisexual (and a dream doesn't tell us that he is) horrifies you then let sleeping dogs lie and let it go. If not, be understanding, compassionate and assure him no matter what you love and accept him.
It may not be you at all, on the other hand. He may be struggling with something within himself and it's got nothing to do with you. Just a thought.

[johnsodo]

get him in a good mood in a week or two and thin ask

[slipnslide]

Sometimes a dream is just a dream. Instead of pestering him, move on.

[tenni]

There is nothing in your profile to indicate your sexuality or age or his.

It is more than likely that he is not comfortable enough to discuss this with you. It is probably more about him and his own self doubts. You haven't told enough information to say much more.

Leave him alone for now but let him know that you are willing to listen to him and it is ok with you that he had such a dream. You love him whether he is bisexual or straight and accept him either way. In other words, make him feel comfortable.

Badgering and pressuring him to disclose such a dream is not going to improve your relationship with him. You don't own him and sorry but it reads that you do think that you own him.

[Long Duck Dong]

My husband recently told me he had a bisexual dream. I quickly asked him to tell me about it. I wanted to hear about it and I was very intrigued.

He wouldn't tell me anything. I kept asking and he just wouldn't. I always tell him if I have wet dreams or sexual dreams and he said it's just different for a guy.

I got frustrated and annoyed because I want him to be honest.

How can I make him feel more comfortable?

hi, your partner is telling the truth, it can be hard for a male to talk about with sexual dreams about being with other males..... but it can be more than that, it can be the nature of the dream, IE crossdressing in the dream, the type of sex.... or even the fact that he forgot most of it as can happen.......

what you have posted, speaks a lot about hubbies internal struggle with something that could change the way you think of him...... and the way he sees himself......

how can you make him more comfortable about talking about his dreams ?? that is a hard one.... as you did not share much info about your situation.....but I get the feeling that hes more straight than bisexual, you both are open in what you talk about and what your interests are but he is generally not as adventurous in the bedroom as you feel he can be, there is a feeling that he is reserved and holding back in some way......

while its about a dream, you need to stop and realise that talking about personal issues and aspects can be hard and that some people could openly talk about having sex with another guy, yet struggle with the idea that they were dressed up as a female in the dream......

I am not saying what was in the dream or even assuming, just giving a idea of what could make it hard for a person to talk about their dream.....

you can give him time or let the subject drop, its up to you... but I have the feeling that if you keep sharing your dreams with him, he may open up one day, or not at all...... there is no way to tell.....

[slipnslide]

I had a dream about zombies last night. That is as relevant as a dream about sex with guys.

I might identify as kinda bi, but I've never had a sex dream about men.

[Gearbox]

The best way to make him feel more comfortable confiding his bisexual dreams to you is to not join a bisexual site and immediately post a thread about it.:rolleyes:

Prod the info out of him with questions such as "Was it my brother?", "The Poolboy?","Gay Joe on 5th ST?", and watch his eyes for any signs of lying going on.;)

[Cc33guy]

I say ply him with whatever he likes, scotch, 420 or whatever is legal where you live and maybe start rubbing his shoulders and tell him that the idea maybe not in IRL gets you really hot... He never has to do it but just his honesty and vounerability really does something for you (because. It might) but be prepared to deal with him possibly wierding out and going haywire as questioning himself As society isn't to kind to the Bi or gay man.

[elian]

Well, having one sexual dream doesn't automatically make him bisexual.

Some dreams make us feel uncomfortable and we'd rather forget them, some dreams are private. He must've told you SOMETHING in order for you to know what you already do about his dream.

Give him space, time and love to process through his feelings. Not saying that he IS bisexual but a lot of guys feel internal conflict about attraction to other guys..we've been told by a lot of people that it's wrong.

I'm glad that you are open and trying to communicate, one thing I have learned in life is don't ask the question if you're not prepared to hear the answer.

[maytag]

Offering no advice, only my personal experience: As I approached middle age, the marriage foundering badly, sex life sucked, I foolishly took to internet chat. In that process I discovered all sorts of interesting fetishes and otherwise amazing things people did.

One of those things that really, and surprisingly, piqued my interest was bisexuality. This was in the context of a bdsm relationship. In other words, if I were forced to have sex with a man it sent me over the edge.

There were several emotions I dealt with during that time. Among the many the mere fact that I was on the internet, probably talking with some obese dude in his trailer who pretended to be the most gorgeous woman in the world and so ashamed of myself. Another was a culturaly learned bias about homosexuality, thus this was aberrant behavior and not good. And most importantly why this turned me on so?

Fast forward to now: I am in a great relationship with a wonderful woman. Sex life is wonderful, she makes me feel like a man again. The internet stuff is history, yet this bisexual thing lingers, thus my visiting this website when these urges arise.

I have talked online to a lot of guys over these years and almost to a man it is reported that they too thought it weird they wanted to do it with a guy, that mid 30's early 40's are when these thoughts start and once they did it with a guy they deeply wished they hadn't waited so long. The woman I am with would love to see this happen, she feels I am at heart bisexual and thinks I ought to act on my deeper instincts. She is the only flesh and blood person I have shared these feelings with and been totally honest.

For me these feelings pass and bisexuality isn't even on my mind. Then the urges return and its almost compulsive. She wonderfully takes this into a roleplay world and we act out the fantasy and 'whoosh'!! Its over for a while. She does report when she takes me to that place, when its about me with a shaft in my mouth, I am harder and longer than ever. So thats pretty cool :) I think she even likes it more than I do.

I will probably never be with another man. Am approaching an age where it matters less (though the libido never grows still thank goodness) and worry that I may have deep regrets after the fact. Perhaps if the circumstances are right it will happen.

So, sounds to me like your a very cool and loving wife. That hubby is very scared and ashamed about these feelings. That perhaps, like my friend, you are equally titillated at the fantasy.

That I can confide all this to her without rebuke is wonderful. Its rare we can be so completely honest with another human being. With love and care maybe hubby will open up to you.

So thats my story and I'm sticking to it. Only advice is do this all with love, not for yourself but for him.

[sassy2811]

Thanks to everyone's advice!

I told him that I loved him for who he was and not his sexuality. I told him that no matter what his dream was about or what he fantasizes about, I till still love him and look at him the same way.

We are very open with each other and that is very important to us both. We are both very sexual so I wanted to hear what his dream was about. It was hot and I told him that. Plus I am bisexual too but he already knows that and I tell him EVERYTHING! He likes it though hehe!

He still was very awkward in telling me about it but I'm sure in time he will become more comfortable. :)

[centillini]

well, old g/f told me about her dream of me sucking and getting sucked by a guy as she sucked me. That got me into it. Then watched biporn with another lady that said it turned her on so much.

[fredtyg]

As others have alluded to, some guys (and girls) just don't feel comfortable discussing certain things with certain people. It does seem rather strange to me that you confide in him, but he won't confide in you with his sexual dreams/ fantasies.

Then again, I know a guy I told a bunch of my sordid sex stories to but he wouldn't tell me any of his. He just didn't feel comfortable with it despite how open I was about what I'd done. Some folks are just like that.