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leizy
Jun 1, 2006, 6:51 PM
Intro - another section of my draft chapter, reviewing the research on bisexuality, as compared to what people believe about it. comments are hugely appreciated!

cheers.
david

Bisexuals are just afraid to admit they're actually gay:

As described earlier, much of the general societal prejudice experienced by bisexuals is indistinguishable from the prejudice experienced by homosexuals. Aside from the fears of bisexuals as "double agents," the perception by the heterosexual community is that bisexuals might as well be gay. Bisexuality is seen by the homosexual community as a transitional identity, with both research and anecdotal evidence suggesting that homosexuals view bisexuals as individuals that are just on their way to deciding they're actually gay, and that bisexuality is, at best, just a stage in the "coming-out" process of homosexuality.

We've certainly seen that, when it comes to the prevalence of bisexual behaviors and arousal, identity and labels have little predictive or definitional validity. In fact, it might even be the behaviors, and the relative frequency of the behaviors which drive identity, at least in men, as described previously. Thus, if the frequency of a male's sexual interactions with other males changes, going up or down, we might predict that their identity might also change. Female sexual identity seems to develop more independently of behavior, but female sexual behavior is more fluid than that of most males. Does this mean then that the perception of bisexuality as transitory and unstable is accurate?

Research suggests that there is evidence for more stability in bisexual identity than is generally perceived, and that where there is instability, the changes in sexual identity actually go more frequently in the opposite direction. Weinberg conducted extensive research in San Francisco and found that most bisexuals reduced their sexual activity with age, and tended towards involvement with only one sex in middle age. In contrast to the belief that bisexuality is a stage in the coming out process of homosexuality, more bisexuals in this research study were living exclusively heterosexual lives as they aged, rather than "finally just being gay." In fact, despite now living predominantly heterosexual lives, the bisexuals in this study actually showed increased stability in their bisexual identities as they aged. There does appear to be a coming-out process in bisexuals, though in it, homosexuality is actually a precursor to coming-out as bisexual, rather than the reverse. Consistent research indicates that bisexuals experience same-sex attractions significantly later than do homosexuals, experiencing heterosexual attractions much earlier, and settle on a bisexual identity several years later (about twenty-eight years old), on average, than the age at which most homosexuals begin to identify as gay or lesbian (about twenty-two years old).

A large scale study with hundreds of bisexually-behaving men (between the ages of 18-30, they had had penetrative sex with both men and women within the past three years) examined how many of these men moved towards a stronger homosexual identity over time. The primary researcher, Joseph Stokes, predicted that identity change and development would come with significant distress and disturbance, with feelings of self-hatred and substance abuse (a good example of the presence of negative beliefs about bisexuality and homosexuality, even in supposedly objective scientific research). About half of the men did not change in their reported sexual identity, and one-third began to identify more as homosexual, while slightly less than one-fifth gravitated towards a heterosexual identity. In contrast to the researchers’ predictions about disturbed behaviors and self-image being involved in the transition of sexual identity, men who moved towards a homosexual identity actually were more psychologically healthy than other men. Men who had sex with both men and women, but primarily fantasized about men while masturbating were more likely to identify later as primarily homosexual, and the lower the number of female sex partners over a lifetime, the more likely the men were to move towards a homosexual identity. However, the number of male partners, and the degree of sexual attraction to men did not predict the development of a homosexual identity, if the male also had feelings towards women. In other words, sexual attraction to males and females is not a single bipolar dimension. With bisexuals trapped in between, like the indecisive mule starving to death between the two equidistant piles of hay. Instead, sexual attraction to males and females may be best characterized as two parallel lines, with separate degrees of attraction and interest to males on one scale, and toward females on another. Males high on attraction to males and low on attraction to females gravitate towards identification as homosexual, those with the reverse gravitate towards heterosexuality, and those with strong attractions towards both tend to remain relatively stable in their identification as bisexuals.

Females do experience more variability and change in their sexual attractions and sexual identities than men, with many studies showing significant, sometimes even dramatic changes in female sexuality across time. Greater changes in sexual behavior, romantic and sexual feelings have been found among bisexual women, compared to lesbian and heterosexual women. As described, some women maintain multiple sexual identities, labeling themselves as both bisexual and hetero- or homosexual, as well as nonconforming labels such as "other," "unsure" and the previously mentioned "something else." Bisexual women have been shown to have changed their sexual identities more frequently across their lifespan than lesbians or heterosexual women. However, some writers, such as Paula Rust, have argued that the ways in which sexuality is studied are weighted towards traditionally male sexuality, and do not address the more complex aspects of female sexuality. Rust has shown that much of the inconsistency and variability in women's report of sexual identity and behavior are artifacts of the research methodology, with greater consistency when more sophisticated assessment strategies are used.

There is more variability and change among bisexuals than among other sexual orientations. This may be due to the nature of bisexuality, with attraction and behaviors with more than one sex. In contrast to heterosexuals and homosexuals, orientations some bisexuals refer to as "monosexuality," bisexuality by its nature does involve twice as much variability. Does this inherently greater diversity foster more change in bisexuals? Do bisexuals become homosexuals? Many bisexuals do begin living lives that are more monogamous, with a single partner, but they may not necessarily become homosexual, and in fact many instead begin living lives that are more heterosexual. Some bisexuals do decide that they are in fact homosexual, but for many, bisexuality is a stable identity that actually becomes more certain with age. Since the 1970’s, research has consistently indicated that bisexuals, especially married bisexuals, maintain interest in both sexes. Some studies show that married male and female bisexuals have sex far more often (averaging three times weekly) with their opposite sex spouse, versus only one and half sexual encounters with same-sex partners across an average month. Heterosexual attraction is not a sham, not a front, and not window-dressing for most bisexuals.

JohnnyV
Jun 1, 2006, 7:10 PM
This is very good, Leizy. But I find some parts confusing, when you discuss male bisexual identity being more driven by numbers of male/female partners... I think I get your main point, but some of your longer paragraphs might benefit from getting broken down into smaller ones, and go more slowly from your summary of a study to your synthesis/interpretive comments. The paragraph beginning "a large scale study" could definitely be broken up.

I like the fact that you're debunking one of the famous myths about bisexuality. But I'm wondering how widely held that myth is these days. It seems to me that it's more common now to hear people say that they changed their minds about being gay. Intolerant gays like to demonize them as evangelical "ex-gays" but there are a lot of others who have come to believe and understand the stories of people who came out of the closet too early and then changed their minds. I think if we can just hold off for about five or ten years, societal changes will naturally bring about more awareness of this model of transition (that is the transition from gay to bisexual).

Maybe you could incorporate more cultural history. As homosexuality became so widely accepted and it was even respectable to come out of the closet, there was a mad rush of people identifying as gay in the 1990s and 2000s, many of whom are maturing into more complicated adult lives (and having to label themselves differently as, for instance, they end up marrying the opposite sex). I think your psychological data is sound, but as a cultural critic (I'm not great with numbers), I always like to talk about popular culture and the signs it gives of the direction sexual politics moves in.

J

CountryLover
Jun 2, 2006, 7:56 AM
I guess I'm right in the middle....I'm turning 50 this month, and I'm more settled in my dual relationships than I've ever been in my life. Yet, my hetero side is as strong or stronger than it's ever been.

This chapter expressed so well the things that I observed the 10 yrs I was with my bi guys, except that I noted that most of them started recognising their bi side later than what you stated as 28. I observed it as being later in life, late 30's or early 40's. Of course this was just my informal observations over a 10yr period, not a scientific study.

gthommo
Jun 2, 2006, 8:21 AM
All very interesting. But I'd like to take issue with JohnnyV's use of language. "Intolerant" gays are probably reflecting Church and society's attempts to deny gay identity and seek "conversion". It's for this reason that apparent changes in orientation away from a purely gay identity can be greeted in a hostile manner as a sort of betrayal. Bear with us - I hope it will change and we can all be more relaxed.

Purely anecdotally, in my 32 years identifying as gay, I have not known a gay man of my acquaintance to be anything other than gay but - just in case we think we're all driven by the purest and simplest motives - I have known of men who have married and got on much better in their careers subsequently.

JohnnyV
Jun 2, 2006, 12:05 PM
All very interesting. But I'd like to take issue with JohnnyV's use of language. "Intolerant" gays are probably reflecting Church and society's attempts to deny gay identity and seek "conversion". It's for this reason that apparent changes in orientation away from a purely gay identity can be greeted in a hostile manner as a sort of betrayal.

Intolerance is intolerance. Gays and lesbians have made enough progress now that they can be held accountable for saying and doing things that cause hardship for others. Even if there is a hostile anti-gay religious movement, I don't give judgmental gays a free pass to dismiss the experiences of bisexuals, or to second-guess people who once identified as gay and realized, later on, that they were straight.

Remember that in the US, the Church also plays the victim and claims that society is conspiring against Christianity. They claim that *their* intolerance is a reaction to a threat. When gays and lesbians use the same rhetoric, it is just as dangerous.

J

jedinudist
Jun 2, 2006, 12:14 PM
Intolerance is intolerance. Gays and lesbians have made enough progress now that they can be held accountable for saying and doing things that cause hardship for others. Even if there is a hostile anti-gay religious movement, I don't give judgmental gays a free pass to dismiss the experiences of bisexuals, or to second-guess people who once identified as gay and realized, later on, that they were straight.

Remember that in the US, the Church also plays the victim and claims that society is conspiring against Christianity. They claim that *their* intolerance is a reaction to a threat. When gays and lesbians use the same rhetoric, it is just as dangerous.

J

I agree 1,000% !!!! It amazes and disgusts me that there are gays and lesbians out there who had to struggle and fight just to be open with who they are, yet look down on Bisexuals and make outlandish claims about what our "real problems are" such as we're just afraid to admit we're gay. I absolutely agree that they should be held accountable for what they do and say. Just like everyone else!
:soapbox: - ok, I'll get down now.

allbimyself
Jun 2, 2006, 2:21 PM
Remember that in the US, the Church also plays the victim and claims that society is conspiring against Christianity. They claim that *their* intolerance is a reaction to a threat. When gays and lesbians use the same rhetoric, it is just as dangerous.
Well, Johnny, beat me to it. :tong:

BTW, be careful... people really get upset when you compare their tactics and behavior to the religious wrong, even (especially?) when your comparison is right on the money.

OralBradley
Jun 2, 2006, 2:23 PM
I have heard this BS for years and now simply ignore it--I know better. I have had a pisschiatrist and a gay hotling tell me that I didn't exist, but I'm still attracted (but perhaps no longer attractive) to both men and women.

DorianCT
Jun 3, 2006, 8:57 PM
Bisexuality is not something we made up! It's a scientifically proven sexual orientation, even more common than homosexuality.. Gay people are just jealous.. They tend to see the "gay" anywhere, even in str8 people.. Ask them, and they will tell you that Rocco Siffredi and George Clooney are gay.. They always do that..

bobthecat69
Jun 3, 2006, 11:34 PM
not true >>if i see a man that sexually attracts me , it is just about having sex.....but a woman ,not only can i make love to her ,but i can love her>>witch those feelings i will never have for a man.....bob

CountryLover
Jun 4, 2006, 12:21 AM
gthommo, perhaps it's the company I keep, but I've met quite a few gay men who have decided to explore "the other side".

I have run with a circle of friends for the past 10+ years that is mostly made up of bi married men, and these gay men have joined our group looking for acceptance and understanding - and help on how to make the leap. Of course, I've met the "I'll get married and pass as straight" bunch too. They usually don't go far with my friends. :2cents:

Sparks
Jun 4, 2006, 1:04 PM
Bi, gay? Way too much mental mastubation. It's about nature. I'm not gay because I could never fall in love with another man. My passion is towards women. Just because I happen to enjoy sucking cock, and getting balled by a like minded man doesn't make me anything other than a warm, caring human being who isn't about to lable others. Am I bi? I'm comfortable being a part time homosexual.

Fred

MikeW
Jun 5, 2006, 12:29 AM
not true >>if i see a man that sexually attracts me , it is just about having sex.....but a woman ,not only can i make love to her ,but i can love her>>witch those feelings i will never have for a man.....bob

I told a friend of mine this weekend these exact words pertaining to me... mind you, it's been 20 years since I've been with a man. Maybe I'm just trying to convince myself. I guess I'll find out for sure once I have more sexual relations with men.

gthommo
Jun 5, 2006, 3:18 AM
So - I stepped well and truly into the lion's den. It shows that both "communities" have sensitivities... and who imagined that we don't?

One drop more petrol on the blaze, though. I'm not overly pleased to be told that I'm jealous or envious of bisexual men. You can only be jealous or envious of something you've got or something you want. Now, I might be envious of a woman getting fucked but I can't be envious of a bisexual guy fucking a woman.