First Time: Boy or Girl

[Ewerton]

Hi, I'm a bisexual male, I'm 20 years old and am extremely confused! I'm still a virgin to both sexes, haven't even had any kind of sexual contact with anyone ( trust me , that's frustrating). Now, I lean much more to being a bottom with men and with women oh well it's obvious. Now I really really wanna have sex with a man, you know, do everything a girl does while having sex but the problem is something in me is telling me not to have any kind of sexual contact with men before I loose my virginity to a girl, although I still fantasize about men. My fear is that having sex with men shall then be more important than having sex with girls which is my "main sexuality'. The opportunity to mess around with a guy ( as a bottom) has just presented itself and I'm not willing to go anywhere beyond oral the very first time...and on the other hand it might work out as well with a girl I've known for a while, it's pretty obvious she's into me and besides that I'm totally in love with her. Now considering that I'm 70% into girls and 30 % into men, do you think that going forward with messing around with a guy, sucking his cock, let him play with my butt just to see how it fells like will affect my male sexuality in any way, or better yet the thrill of fucking a girl for the first time { right, right seconds of thrill but still :) } Or even let it go all the way to intercourse before I loose my virginity to a girl? I really wanna do it but I don't want that to be the first time I have sexual contact with someone...

Can anyone please help me? please? I don't know what to decide! It ain't necessary to say that my first concern in all this is preventing STD's....

thanks for reading my post... have a good day.

[Realist]

Welcome to the site. Surely you will find the answers you seek, here. Be advised that you may get opinions that are not of your liking, but it's also possible that you will get some ideas that will help you, too.

My first full-course sexual experience was with an older man. I chose him to be my first, just because he provided a safe, comfortable, opportunity. I had no idea what to expect, other than wanting whatever it was.

Luckily, the man was gentle, caring, and knowledgeable. Before he took me to those heights, he explained everything beforehand. I could not have asked for a better teacher! It was a magnificent and gratifying event that I clearly remember to this day.

Whether you begin with a male, or female, a little experience on their part will be more beneficial that you now know!

Much of how you may view sex, with either gender, can begin with how well your first experiences go.

I would suggest that you should decide what you want and need, beforehand, then don't settle for less than you want.

Good luck!

[bityme]

The opportunity to mess around with a guy ( as a bottom) has just presented itself and I'm not willing to go anywhere beyond oral the very first time...and on the other hand it might work out as well with a girl I've known for a while, it's pretty obvious she's into me and besides that I'm totally in love with her.

I really wanna do it but I don't want that to be the first time I have sexual contact with someone...

Ewerton,

I know that you say you are confused, but if you take a look at what you wrote and think about it you may have already made up your mind.

The fact that you feel you are totally in love with the girl is an indication that you desire for women is both physical and emotional. You don't appear to be expressing an emotional attachment to men.

If you are looking to make you first time something special to remember, it seems as though you are leaning toward an experience with a woman.

Pappy

[keefer201]

I agree fully with Bityme. You have made up your mind and all else is just the clutter of a sexually frustrated head, and that can be understood. Always go with your gut, whether it's this situation or the hand your dealt in a game of texas hold 'em. Your gut feeling is always the right decision. You'll do well if you relax and go with your own insights. Remember this, you're first experience is going to be fastened to your memories forever, make it so it's with a very special someone and it will go well with you.

[falcondfw]

Allow me to add my voice of consent. Follow your instincts. I agree with bityme. Look at what you wrote. If you are 70% into girls and 30% into guys, and you are in love with this girl, then do it with her, as that is your preference. There will be plenty of time to experiment later. As you said, you are only 20.

I don't think playing with the guy will affect you sexually, but you are so much more into women (by your own admission) that the experience will be so much more rewarding the first time.

I did not know about my bi side until 5 or so years ago, but I would not have changed anything. My first time was at 19 and we did it 3 times that night. She was not even my girlfriend. Just a very very good friend. After 3 times, I wanted more, but she begged me to stop.

Oh. one thing. I was stupid enough not to use a condom. You can predict the results. I love my daughter to the ends of the Earth, but it was WAY too early. Be smart, like I wasn't.

[Volodya]

You are very wise to study sexually transmitted diseases at the beginning of your exploration of the sexual jungle. Key word: mucous membranes. Safe sex is neither easy to understand nor to practice. Safer sex in comparison is easy to grasp and yet I have warned young men like you in vain. They are now infected with the HIV virus.

http://n2mansex.com/images/83_OralSexBrochChart2-sided.pdf
www.immunize.org/catg.d/p4115.pdf

“Bisexual, male, virgin, sexes, bottom, men, women, girl, main sexuality, messing around, male sexuality, loose the virginity”: It is obvious that you are still struggling with conventional concepts of sexuality. Reading a single book like George Chauncey's Gay New York helps you to shed some ballast.

Walter, My Secret Life
Louis Crompton, Homosexuality and Civilization
Stephen O. Murray, Homosexualities
George Chauncey, Gay New York: Gender, Urban Culture, and the Making of the Gay Male World, 1890-1940

Encyclopedia of Homosexuality (Wayne R. Dynes)
http://www.williamapercy.com/wiki/index.php/Portal:EOH
http://www2.hu-berlin.de/sexology/BIB/EOH/right.htm

The International Encyclopedia of Sexuality (Robert T. Francoeur)
http://www2.hu-berlin.de/sexology/IES/index.html

Human Sexuality: An Encyclopedia (Erwin J. Haeberle)
http://www2.hu-berlin.de/sexology/GESUND/ARCHIV/SEN/INDEX.HTM

Begin with girls and learn more about safe male-male sex in the interim. Go with the flow and reserve your computing power for the more demanding questions of love – and frustration management. I congratulate you on your open-mindedness and your courage to do the obvious that is still very exotic today. The jungle waits, and I hope you will inform us about your progress.

[æonpax]

You are very wise to study sexually transmitted diseases at the beginning of your exploration of the sexual jungle. Key word: mucous membranes. Safe sex is neither easy to understand nor to practice. Safer sex in comparison is easy to grasp and yet I have warned young men like you in vain. They are now infected with the HIV virus. <snipped for brevity>

Excellent Advice.


http://i.imgur.com/8mxis.jpg
`

[ghw132]

Hi, I'm a bisexual male, I'm 20 years old and am extremely confused! I'm still a virgin to both sexes, haven't even had any kind of sexual contact with anyone ( trust me , that's frustrating). Now, I lean much more to being a bottom with men and with women oh well it's obvious. Now I really really wanna have sex with a man, you know, do everything a girl does while having sex but the problem is something in me is telling me not to have any kind of sexual contact with men before I loose my virginity to a girl, although I still fantasize about men. My fear is that having sex with men shall then be more important than having sex with girls which is my "main sexuality'. The opportunity to mess around with a guy ( as a bottom) has just presented itself and I'm not willing to go anywhere beyond oral the very first time...and on the other hand it might work out as well with a girl I've known for a while, it's pretty obvious she's into me and besides that I'm totally in love with her. Now considering that I'm 70% into girls and 30 % into men, do you think that going forward with messing around with a guy, sucking his cock, let him play with my butt just to see how it fells like will affect my male sexuality in any way, or better yet the thrill of fucking a girl for the first time { right, right seconds of thrill but still :) } Or even let it go all the way to intercourse before I loose my virginity to a girl? I really wanna do it but I don't want that to be the first time I have sexual contact with someone...

Can anyone please help me? please? I don't know what to decide! It ain't necessary to say that my first concern in all this is preventing STD's....

thanks for reading my post... have a good day.

My first experience was with a close male friend when I was 14 years old, we had a fantastic sexual relationship as we explored each others body and experienced our first orgasms at the hands of another. That relationship went on for nearly a year. I enjoyed it so much that I believed I was gay. Then I met a fantastic young women the following year and we began a 6 year relationship, and we went through that same exploration of our bodies as she was a virgin. Did my initial sexual experience with a male in any way effect my relationship with a woman, no, I don't believe so. I would say that like you I am 70% into females and 30% male. I occasionally see a man or meet a man that I am really sexually attracted to, but have not acted on it, mainly because I am married. There are so many different ways of having sex, having sex with another male is just another sexual experience I would recommend to anybody.

[man4girlgirl4man]

First time for me was with another boy

So were the next 125 times after that one too - give or take a few either way

The next how knows how many thousand times were with women.

And since my divorce almost 10 years ago it's been 75/25 women/men