Question for bi girlfriends/wifes

[Wynlvr1]

After 2 marriages in which the first one was kind of OK with me being bi and the second one divorcing me I met a wonderful bi woman that I am dating who is gorgeous, bi and extremely intelligent and sexy sweet. Yeah, it's like that and i don't want to fuck this up. Although I am (obviously) open to her being bi and expressing her bi side, recently she seems conflicted . My question is, especially to bi women, how do you handle being bi in a relationship (monogamous, monogamish, open, poly? ) with a person of the opposite sex. How to you satisfy, control, indulge in... Whatever your bi sex desires are. What works for you? How do you handle it? Together? Out of sight out of mind? Honestly sharing? Stepping out and keeping quiet? Threesomes, moresomes, swinging?. Spouses/partners? Do you share, get involved in, ignore? Please let me know.

[ballerbeauty]

Talk about it. when i had a boyfriend and what broke us up was the fact that i wanted to be with a woman. don't get me wrong, this probably won't happen to you, but between me and him girls just sort of seemed more appealing. so how do you fix that problem? talk to her. ask her if your doing anything wrong, see if maybe she does want a female fix lol. but don't bring it up before she does, but don't hesitate if you see the signs. you could do things to spice up the relationship, but my best advice is to just be yourself and make her happy being yourself. if thats not enough, it's not your fault.

[ohmymy69]

There is no "handle it" going on...we simply love each other and we are the primary focus in our lives, any "outside fun" is just that and no threat to our relationship! How you structure your relationship is up to you but both of you must be in 100% agreement about how it works! You certainly don't want anyone to control anything!!!

[bityme]

After 2 marriages in which the first one was kind of OK with me being bi and the second one divorcing me I met a wonderful bi woman that I am dating who is gorgeous, bi and extremely intelligent and sexy sweet. Yeah, it's like that and i don't want to fuck this up. Although I am (obviously) open to her being bi and expressing her bi side, recently she seems conflicted . My question is, especially to bi women, how do you handle being bi in a relationship (monogamous, monogamish, open, poly? ) with a person of the opposite sex. How to you satisfy, control, indulge in... Whatever your bi sex desires are. What works for you? How do you handle it? Together? Out of sight out of mind? Honestly sharing? Stepping out and keeping quiet? Threesomes, moresomes, swinging?. Spouses/partners? Do you share, get involved in, ignore? Please let me know.

I have had two long and very successful marriages to bi women (18 and 20 years). Unfortunately, I lost them both to cancer. In both cases we had great communication and shared our bisexual indulgences together.

I have recently become engaged to another fabulous bisexual lady. We have known each other for a little over 3 years now and have participated together in threesomes, moresomes, and group parties (That is how we met.). As time progressed, we became closer and closer, finally letting down the barriers and fell in love. We have no intention of changing our lifestyle and will continue to enjoy other partners and groups, but will do so only together.

We both enjoy sharing the pleasure of being with additional partners, both straight and bisexual, of either gender, as well as transgendered individuals. We both derive intense satisfaction from having each other being the center of attention and from making others the center of attention. If we were to have a monogamous relationship, it would be impossible to satisfy our bisexual urges or to continue having experiences that require additional partners (DP, etc.). From the first day we met, we have been open and honest about our past experiences, what we enjoy, and what we desire to do in the future.

This type of relationship, no doubt, works so well for us because we both have a very giving nature and thoroughly enjoy giving pleasure to others and each other. There is a complete absence of jealousy in our relationship.

The marvelous thing is that, as our friendship deepened and our barriers fell away, allowing love to develop, our private intimacy also evolved. No matter how enjoyable the inclusion of others is, it cannot compare to the intensity and depth of feeling that we now have in our private lovemaking. Being in love and opening yourself unconditionally to your mate creates a combination of physical activity and emotions that cannot be reached in the swinging environment (of course, it is probably obtainable in a poly relationship).

Simply put, we find a profound difference between "enjoying sex" with one or more partners and "Making Love" with each other. Just touching each other becomes an electrifying experience which surpasses the pleasure encountered prior to "falling in love" in group parties or private intimacy. The presence of "Love" in our relationship has intensified the pleasure we experience in non-sexual activities and the bond between us continues to grow and deepen. This amplification of our emotions and heightened physical responses is, for us, an indication of the security of our relationship.

Additionally, watching, and especially participating in, each other giving to or receiving pleasure from additional partners has taken on a new character. Even situations which previously provided voyeuristic enjoyment become a shared experience of greater proportion. As an example, I experience the feeling that the physical contact my fiance has with an additional partner is like an extension of me, as if I am somehow providing her with heightened responses and greater pleasure. Simultaneously, she is able to enjoy the pleasure of my touch, as well as the touch of an additional partner. At the same time, I derive intense pleasure from her having a more intense experience than I might otherwise provide myself. My fiance has indicated that she also experiences similar feelings from my contact with additional partners.

We realize that our relationship works for us, but that is not an indication that it will work for other couples. We feel that our relationship is possible primarily because of our open communication and willingness to discuss all of our encounters, sharing our feelings and the enjoyment we derived from each experience.

Our decision to only have additional partners with the other present ensures that we avoid any possibility of either of us experiencing any concerns about the others additional contacts. There are no questions about whether or not the appropriate safety precautions are taken (condoms, etc.) and it also allows us the opportunity to help ensure that each other are experiencing the greatest pleasure possible. Being present and viewing or participating in the encounters is so much better than just hearing a report of what took place.

I might also add that both my fiance and I are turned on by watching and participating in our bisexual activities. It is much more than just being understanding or tolerant of each others indulgence in our bisexuality. We enthusiastically support it, deriving pleasure ourselves from the others activities. That also means that we have to ensure that additional partners are also comfortable with such arrangements.

Occasionally, we find it a little harder to find additional bisexual partners. Our experience has been that it is easier to find compatible singles than it is to find a compatible couple that is completely bisexual.

Having a threesome does make it easier to create a situation where one of you, or the additional person, is the center of attention for that particular encounter. Couples or larger groups that are willing to have the participants take turns being the center of attention can result in an awesome experience, but it is very rare that such opportunities develop. Putting together such a group takes a lot of time and patience.

I have been extremely fortunate. The relationship I have described between my fiance and me is similar to what I had in my two prior marriages. I know that it can work on a continuing and long term basis. I believe that the is a combination of enthusiasm about the needs and desires of each other and totally honest and open communication between the couple.

I know that you were asking for the ladies perspective, but I feel confident that I have said the same thing my fiance would have if she had provided the response. I hope that it will be helpful in resolving any of the conflict that your lady friend seems to be experiencing.

Pappy

[innaminka]

When I realised I was bi inclined, I was open about it.
I was a person who had an itch and that itch had to be scratched.
I was most certainly NOT into sharing or 3'somes - neither was my husband.
It was painful for him initially - but the way I worked it was the way the US military worked re gay personel: don't ask don't tell.
For many years it worked.
The advantage being I did not follow my bi-ness close to home. Because of my job nearly all of my encounters over maybe a 12 year period were overseas.
The thing was, my husband and i, for a long time were hopelessly in love and lust with each other.
It worked for us. For others????

Our recent separation/divorce was not predominently because of my sexuality, although it was a contributing factor.
Mainly it was because the love had stopped