Coming out

[tony455]

I recently found out my niece is bisexual,how i found out is no really important.She is not out neither am i.I would like to tell her very much obout my bisexuality but im not sure of her reaction.I know i would not do anything to her to harm her or make her go thru a bad moment,but i am not really sure how she will react.How should I go about it?She is 25 and a very good person.Can anyone enlighten me??thanks

[JohnnyV]

I think it's hard to advise anything, based on limited information. Mostly I'd say that you can put some feelers out by asking her how she's adapting to her new situation. Find out if she needs someone to talk to, or if she has questions. Then bring the topic up if it can be presented as something to help her. As the uncle I consider you the authority figure so you should be acting more supportive to her, rather than looking to her for support for your own coming out needs. But that's just me, I'm a little old-fashioned.

J

[jenniferhell@hotmail]

just be upfront and onest with her but put it in a way that is not uncofortable for the both of you but be onest it will go far dont hide it :bibounce: then tell her about this site :bipride:

[CountryLover]

I guess I'm a lot more cynical about "acceptance". Lots of bi/gay women in my experience react to bi/gay men with a resounding EEEWWW. I'd hate to see that happen to you.

I'd sound her out generically first. Don't approach her about her sexuality, or yours, instead talk about the politics of gay marriage etc. Get a feel for her acceptance of male bi/homosexuality before outting yourself to her.

JohnnyV had a really good idea that (depending on age/generation gap) you shouldn't be expecting to come out to her for support.

[canuckotter]

Here's another question... Does she know that you know? If she doesn't, and she's in the closet, it might be hard to broach the subject without being very direct, and if you've somehow made a mistake and she isn't actually bi, you've got some potentially awkward explaining to do... :)

So yeah, I can't really offer much advice. :) But I do hope that everything works out. :)

[tony455]

she doesnt know I know.I found out because she published her info on a gay/bi website,just coincidence.By th way, I have met people on the web that i know,but didnt know of their bisexuality.I have more friends than i thought that are bi.

[jedinudist]

Honestly, I think you'll have to use your own best judgement as there are too many unknown factors for most any of us to help you out. We don't know your niece, her family, the general and specific situations, how you found out, etc.

You'll have to call it like you see it, and the only advice I can offer is that if you feel it is necessary or would be beneficial for you to talk with her about this, be honest.

Good luck to the both of you!

Blessed Be~

[jedinudist]

ouch - I missed your last post where you explain you saw her information on a gay/bi website.

Are you 100% certain it is her? And are you 100% certain she isn't just "testing the water"?

Again, I wish you both the best!

Blessed Be~

[Sparks]

With a breath of fresh air, I'm coming out to you all, and it's about time.
My name is Frederick Stanford Walburn III. Thank you for letting me share.

[gina42]

just be upfront and onest with her but put it in a way that is not uncofortable for the both of you but be onest it will go far dont hide it :bibounce: then tell her about this site :bipride:

good advice jennifer..


tony,i am married to a bi guy and i love him with all my heart.... he told me when we were first dating that he was bi and i respect him for all his honest threw out the years and we raised one of our neices and she has told us that she to is bisexual...i feel blessed that she knew she could tell us....but my advice to you is to be open with your neice,she may surpise you...and remember we all are friends here ...i truelly hope all goes well for you in what ever you decide to do....hugs gina42.....

[tony455]

Well she knows.I sent her an email,she lives 2000 miles away.i was very open and frank with her.I explained my reasons for telling her as i knew she would understand,and ALAS i feel great,she wants to sit down and talk about it when we see ach other this summer.she accepts me as i accept her and we will both keep thi to ourselves as we both agree that it our own decision to come out to other people.She told me she was shocked at first but then was happy i trusted her.

[JohnnyV]

This is good news. Congratulations! You'll probably be much closer now.

J

[jedinudist]

Congratulations! Please tell her about this site too as I honestly think it is one of the safest resources on the web addressing Bisexuality.

It's good that you both trust each other enough to be so open and honest!

Good luck to you both.

Blessed Be~

[codybear3]

With a breath of fresh air, I'm coming out to you all, and it's about time.
My name is Frederick Stanford Walburn III. Thank you for letting me share.


Hello Fred/Sparks....You are most welcome...How do you feel now that you have come out? :) :paw: :paw:

[wanderingrichard]

well, guess my point is moot now that you and she both know about each other, tony.. i had wanted to suggest that you just wait and let her tell you when she felt it was right, which also was what you wanted to do to come out to her if i recall..[ sorry a bit tipsy, had a few too many tonight as part of my liquid stress relief]

but, from i've read it seems like you made a god choice and things are gonna be just fine..

[arana]

Congratulations on your situation turning out as well as it did. I hope you and your niece are able to have a very happy and close relationship from this.

[tony455]

well i guess she feels much closer to me,she has sent me about 5 mails in 3 days telling me more about her work and me to help her with a couple of computer glitches.so far so good.im very happy about all this.