Orgasm

[Quake]

Is it a lie for a woman to fake an orgasm with a man? Are you doing him any favors by stroking his ego and him thinking he made you orgasm. Is it better to say outright that he did not satisfy you sexually?

[bullhead69]

Kramer used to fake it...

[Fun guy 6969]

That's why it is good with another guy. No faking it when he cums in your mouth, you know he is satisfied.

[sammie19]

Is it a lie for a woman to fake an orgasm with a man? Are you doing him any favors by stroking his ego and him thinking he made you orgasm. Is it better to say outright that he did not satisfy you sexually?

I didn't used to think much of having sex and faking orgasm. Sometimes it was because the sex was so boring I did it just to end it. Sometimes because my partner was cumming and I knew wanted me to cum at the same time. It was a lie but I don't like disappointing people and am not a person to hurt others unnecessarily.

My cousin her partner and I were talking about it one night and they said they never fake orgasm. It isnt a matter or hurting a lover but a matter of helping them be better. By faking we teach a lover nothing and so it continues and they think everything is fine when it really isnt so it is best to tell them as kindly as we can what wasn't right and how better to perform.

[keefer201]

:rolleyes:It is a very bad idea to fake the orgasm with a man that you have feelings for. I suggest you find out why you're not having one and investigate. If it's during intercourse, then you're in the majority; most women don't orgasm during intercourse. If it's during oral sex, then you need to teach him how to treat your hoo hoo. But lying about an orgasm is just seriously wrong and cheats not only him of getting it right, but also you for enjoying him actually getting you off.

[Long Duck Dong]

interesting question.......

if a female was not cumming, I would take it as a number of possibilities, shes not really in the mood, shes tired, I am doing it wrong etc etc......

is it a lie tho if she doesn't cum ??? its a hard one cos lying is when we say something that is not true, and if the lady says nothing, then technically shes not lying in words.......

if i am doing something wrong, I would prefer to be able to change it so I get it right..... if I am doing something right, I would like to improve on it and find other ways to please the lady as well.....

faking a orgasm for a lady, is no different in my eyes, to a male having sex with a female he has no interest in, just so he can blow his load.....

[sammie19]

faking a orgasm for a lady, is no different in my eyes, to a male having sex with a female he has no interest in, just so he can blow his load.....

Eh? :rolleyes:

[Gearbox]

faking a orgasm for a lady, is no different in my eyes, to a male having sex with a female he has no interest in, just so he can blow his load.....
Do you mean by 'no interest' as in 'he was only interested in his own pleasure'?

It amazes me why some women would fake an orgasm with a partner. Fair enough if it was a 1 night stand, she could part ways pleasantly and let the next girl deal with it.
But if the next girl is HER..............:bigrin:

[elian]

I didn't used to think much of having sex and faking orgasm. Sometimes it was because the sex was so boring I did it just to end it. Sometimes because my partner was cumming and I knew wanted me to cum at the same time. It was a lie but I don't like disappointing people and am not a person to hurt others unnecessarily.

My cousin her partner and I were talking about it one night and they said they never fake orgasm. It isnt a matter or hurting a lover but a matter of helping them be better. By faking we teach a lover nothing and so it continues and they think everything is fine when it really isnt so it is best to tell them as kindly as we can what wasn't right and how better to perform.

If having an orgasm is something you would consider to be part of a happy healthy relationship for you, then I agree with your friends - better to "train" the people we love, rather than falsely lead them to believe they are doing a good job only to find out much later that there is a problem in the relationship because the other partner wasn't satisfied. Like I told dseven, sex doesn't come with instruction manuals. You don't know how many times I wished that a lady would tell me what she liked or did not like - instead of just remaining silent...of course..maybe that in itself was an indicator..but the incident I was thinking of only happened when I was 18..and as Eddie Murphy says, "When you' 18 there's only ONE look on your face because your SURPRISED your f'king her.."

<elian approximates the look on Eddie Murphy's face to be sort of like a cross between a coke addict and someone who has had 100 cups of coffee in a row>

<bangs head into desK>

I can't believe I'm writing this but believe it or not, for some people orgasm isn't everything..

[sammie19]

If having an orgasm is something you would consider to be part of a happy healthy relationship for you, then I agree with your friends - better to "train" the people we love, rather than falsely lead them to believe they are doing a good job only to find out much later that there is a problem in the relationship because the other partner wasn't satisfied. Like I told dseven, sex doesn't come with instruction manuals. You don't know how many times I wished that a lady would tell me what she liked or did not like - instead of just remaining silent...of course..maybe that in itself was an indicator..but the incident I was thinking of only happened when I was 18..and as Eddie Murphy says, "When you' 18 there's only ONE look on your face because your SURPRISED your f'king her.."

<elian approximates the look on Eddie Murphy's face to be sort of like a cross between a coke addict and someone who has had 100 cups of coffee in a row>

<bangs head into desK>

I can't believe I'm writing this but believe it or not, for some people orgasm isn't everything..

Elian, I have never faked it with the person I love because I've never needed to, but took the discussion to heart and changed how I was with other people.

[Long Duck Dong]

Do you mean by 'no interest' as in 'he was only interested in his own pleasure'?

It amazes me why some women would fake an orgasm with a partner. Fair enough if it was a 1 night stand, she could part ways pleasantly and let the next girl deal with it.
But if the next girl is HER..............:bigrin:

yeah sorta....

as sammie said, some times the sex is boring... same thing for a male..... but most guys can not fake cumming, so they have to follow thru lol

I had that issue a few times when I was younger.... the body was willing but the heart and mind were on vacation..lol....

it was not til a number of years later that i realised it was the asexual nature in me starting to make a appearance..... I could feel everything sexually but the desire etc was fading....

[Realist]

I could write a book on one person's experiences with this issue!

My ex said she faked it with her first husband all the time. He was inconsiderate and rough. Foreplay to him was a waste of time and she was rarely aroused before he'd mount her. He had little empathy for her needs, nor would he attempt things she thought might help her enjoy sex more. He was thoughtless, course, and selfish. They did not communicate well.

Her mother had instilled in her that it was her "Duty" to submit to him, so she did. No matter if she was sick, sore from the last time, or just not in the mood, he never considered her needs, or desires ..........and just took her.

If she didn't have an orgasm and show some passion, during intercourse, her ex would continue for an inordinate amount of time. If she didn't indicate that she had an orgasm, he would pump her until she had one. He would keep it up for hours, but would cum only after she did.

After a few times of being sore and enjoying it less and less, she took the advice of her sister and faked it. Her ex would then cum and feel like he'd "Did a job on her!"

I think she was just making the best of a bad situation. Getting it over with as quickly as possible, was the best she could do.

[elian]

Elian, I have never faked it with the person I love because I've never needed to, but took the discussion to heart and changed how I was with other people.

BTW, I wasn't trying to single you out personally, but I was trying to relate to what you were saying in an efficient way.

[elian]

I could write a book on one person's experiences with this issue!

My ex said she faked it with her first husband all the time. He was inconsiderate and rough. Foreplay to him was a waste of time and she was rarely aroused before he'd mount her. He had little empathy for her needs, nor would he attempt things she thought might help her enjoy sex more. He was thoughtless, course, and selfish. They did not communicate well.

Her mother had instilled in her that it was her "Duty" to submit to him, so she did. No matter if she was sick, sore from the last time, or just not in the mood, he never considered her needs, or desires ..........and just took her.

If she didn't have an orgasm and show some passion, during intercourse, her ex would continue for an inordinate amount of time. If she didn't indicate that she had an orgasm, he would pump her until she had one. He would keep it up for hours, but would cum only after she did.

After a few times of being sore and enjoying it less and less, she took the advice of her sister and faked it. Her ex would then cum and feel like he'd "Did a job on her!"

I think she was just making the best of a bad situation. Getting it over with as quickly as possible, was the best she could do.

Yeah R, that doesn't sound like a very pleasant situation..geesh..if I said "sex doesn't come with instruction manuals" - this time, would that be an understatement for the guy?

[mikey3000]

This is where me and my guy friend differ. His goal is as many orgasms as possible, one right after the other. Me, I'm different. For me sensuality is the journey. I like to take it slow. Foreplay can be an all day event. Edging. I can cum in my pants with just an awesome kiss. Not the goal, but the byproduct of that kiss.

I found a short but awesome kissing video, but I don't know how to post it here.

[pepperjack]

I didn't used to think much of having sex and faking orgasm. Sometimes it was because the sex was so boring I did it just to end it. Sometimes because my partner was cumming and I knew wanted me to cum at the same time. It was a lie but I don't like disappointing people and am not a person to hurt others unnecessarily.

My cousin her partner and I were talking about it one night and they said they never fake orgasm. It isnt a matter or hurting a lover but a matter of helping them be better. By faking we teach a lover nothing and so it continues and they think everything is fine when it really isnt so it is best to tell them as kindly as we can what wasn't right and how better to perform.

So, sex was boring, just like talking about God? I've never had a partner fake it but I've had a couple who tried to hide it for some unknown reason; I could tell anyway.

[dafydd]

i suppose not every woman who fakes it does so in order to please the man's ego. a man's ego can be pleased way before that, ashamedly. maybe the faking thing comes from a more internal, individual desire to 'fake' for oneself. i don't like women faking orgasms on my behalf, but i do like some form of crescendo between us at the 'end'.

d

[sammie19]

So, sex was boring, just like talking about God? I've never had a partner fake it but I've had a couple who tried to hide it for some unknown reason; I could tell anyway.

Not just like talking about God, but if I am not calling out his name by the end, then like a dull unimaginative, uninspiring monotone sermon, or a thread full of petty bickering and hysterical dross which goes on ad infinitum to please the egos of the posters, there is a similarity.;)

[sammie19]

i suppose not every woman who fakes it does so in order to please the man's ego. a man's ego can be pleased way before that, ashamedly. maybe the faking thing comes from a more internal, individual desire to 'fake' for oneself. i don't like women faking orgasms on my behalf, but i do like some form of crescendo between us at the 'end'.

d

Dafydd, some guys egos, especially younger guys egos, are stroked not by bringing his partner to orgasm, or thinking he has, but just by the fact that she has let him fuck her in the first place. Her cum is immaterial and secondary to his. Luckily most guys seem to grow out of it, but not all.

[goldenfinger]

When you fake anything, you only fool yourself.

[pepperjack]

Not just like talking about God, but if I am not calling out his name by the end, then like a dull unimaginative, uninspiring monotone sermon, or a thread full of petty bickering and hysterical dross which goes on ad infinitum to please the egos of the posters, there is a similarity.;)

I'm a restless spirit, also easily bored.

[dafydd]

Dafydd, some guys egos, especially younger guys egos, are stroked not by bringing his partner to orgasm, or thinking he has, but just by the fact that she has let him fuck her in the first place. Her cum is immaterial and secondary to his. Luckily most guys seem to grow out of it, but not all.


totally agree sammie. thought that's what I wrote.

[dafydd]

When you fake anything, you only fool yourself.

unless you fake interest in a conversation at a dull dinner party, then you can fool maybe 3 or 4 people at once.

[pepperjack]

unless you fake interest in a conversation at a dull dinner party, then you can fool maybe 3 or 4 people at once.

I feigned innocence with a cop who pulled me over today; she totally bought it; still gotta pay the fine though.:cop:

[dafydd]

I feigned innocence with a cop who pulled me over today; she totally bought it; still gotta pay the fine though.:cop:

so the pig ticketed someone she thought was innocent. hot.
FYI why'd she pull you over?

[darkeyes]

so the pig ticketed someone she thought was innocent. hot.
FYI why'd she pull you over?

Prob all that wite gungy stuff splatted on 'is windscreen... drivin a vehicle wenya cant c weryas goin' is an offence 'ere...;)

[pepperjack]

Prob all that wite gungy stuff splatted on 'is windscreen... drivin a vehicle wenya cant c weryas goin' is an offence 'ere...;)

Actually it was for an inoperative brake lite; u give me too much credit for eye-hand coordination & being able to multi-task.:bigrin:

[tenni]

hmm
Back a bit closer to the OP's thoughts.

Women may fake an orgasm for a lot of reasons. Men tend not to fake it but based upon personal experience the sexual pleasure may become less focused on the ejaculation. A few years back, I broke some ribs and caused a lot of damage to my torso muscles. To actually have a physical orgasm became extremely and immediately painful for more than a year as I must contract my torso muscles. Edging became more of an approach and actually abstaining from orgasm became more frequent. So, there is not a faking of orgasm as a change in priority for me. Although I eventually want to cum it is not as important as the journey. I can skip it in a sexual encounter and still have fun. I think that young guys find that difficult to understand and I understand why they do..:bigrin: Most of us do like to know that our partner has enjoyed sex with us though.

Oh...I should also say that I have these amazing multi orgasms now where I ejaculate once but for more than a minute have wild muscle, breathing orgasms in my torso and legs. It happens then stops and then bingo it happens again. (My neuro muscular system has been rewired due to another accident) I have to remember to forewarn a new partner or it may shock the hell out of them. I didn't have them in my early years...lol Bonus side effects for having accidents both postive and negative.

[darkeyes]

Actually it was for an inoperative brake lite; u give me too much credit for eye-hand coordination & being able to multi-task.:bigrin:

Not at all... wer did me say owt boutya bein alone in car?;):tong:

[pepperjack]

hmm
Back a bit closer to the OP's thoughts.

Women may fake an orgasm for a lot of reasons. Men tend not to fake it but based upon personal experience the sexual pleasure may become less focused on the ejaculation. A few years back, I broke some ribs and caused a lot of damage to my torso muscles. To actually have a physical orgasm became extremely and immediately painful for more than a year as I must contract my torso muscles. Edging became more of an approach and actually abstaining from orgasm became more frequent. So, there is not a faking of orgasm as a change in priority for me. Although I eventually want to cum it is not as important as the journey. I can skip it in a sexual encounter and still have fun. I think that young guys find that difficult to understand and I understand why they do..:bigrin: Most of us do like to know that our partner has enjoyed sex with us though.

Oh...I should also say that I have these amazing multi orgasms now where I ejaculate once but for more than a minute have wild muscle, breathing orgasms in my torso and legs. It happens then stops and then bingo it happens again. (My neuro muscular system has been rewired due to another accident) I have to remember to forewarn a new partner or it may shock the hell out of them. I didn't have them in my early years...lol Bonus side effects for having accidents both postive and negative.
Interesting silver lining to a dark cloud; reminds me of welding; metal is actually stronger after a weld than before it was broken. I can somewhat relate; had a double hernia in my groin in my 40's; very painful; still masturbated while awaiting surgery & pleasure outweighed the pain. I think it's next to impossible for a guy to fake orgasm. Also agree that I derive pleasure from pleasure I induce.:cool:

[pepperjack]

:confused::confused:
Not at all... wer did me say owt boutya bein alone in car?;):tong: Huh? was indulging in smart ass humor; that's just me; been making people laugh since I was in grade school:confused:

[the sacred night]

I don't understand why people say they have never "needed" to fake it, because that makes it sound like other people do need to. Nobody needs to fake it.

I would say faking anything with anybody would be a lie- fake laughing when the joke wasn't funny, fake smiling when you're not happy, fake orgasms when you're not really getting off. All of those things lead others to believe the interaction was something it wasn't.

I have never faked an orgasm, whether it was casual sex or a relationship. The people I've been with have taken it well in stride and just tried harder next time :) I personally think not faking orgasms is way easier than having to sit them down and explain in words that you're not satisfied. If they see you not getting off, they know without your having to do the "awkward confession" thing. In fact, they will often ask what else they can do to please you without your having to prompt them, because they want to see you get off.