Does politics play a part?

[loveatl]

Does a person's political views have anything to do with if you hookup with a person or not? With so much in the news, people so different, could you hook up with a person with totaly different views as yours??

[Jobelorocks]

I mean it can if they are a jerk about things. I can have all sorts of relationships with people of different views. It certainly helps when you hold similar views, but it isn't a deal-breaker either.

[elian]

For me it would depend on the chemistry too.. The first guy I dated was much older and made a point of telling me that he thought women should not be allowed to drive and that they cause a lot of the problems he sees with today's society. I tried to point out to him that just like people don't CHOOSE to be born gay, they also don't CHOOSE to be born female but he's pretty set in his ways. Although we are still friends and I have learned a lot listening to his experiences we don't have a relationship - mostly because of that difference of opinion and the fact that he's old enough that he just doesn't want to be romantically attracted to the point where we "play house".. Apparently the other lovers he has had stole things from his house and did other things such that all he can remember are the bad parts of the relationship..

So yeah, although I can learn a great deal from any person, some personality types are emotionally draining to me. I need someone generally supportive and in the same emotional, spiritual and political ballpark as me.

[FunE1]

Most of the time, I dont' ask about politics and I don't discuss politics, especially if all I'm looking to do is hookup.

Now, if they are very vocal about their politics AND opposite of mine, then yes, it does have an effect: I won't hook up with that person.

I know, I should be better than that, more open minded, blah, blah, but honestly, I'm not.

[keefer201]

If you are asking this solely for the purpose of just a hook up, I would leave political opinions out of the initial conversation. However, if it seemed like things could evolve to a relationship/friendship, then world views would be taken into account. I'm learning to keep my opinions to myself these days. There are different venues to vent my expressions on politics as well as my sexuality.

[bityme]

Does a person's political views have anything to do with if you hookup with a person or not? With so much in the news, people so different, could you hook up with a person with totaly different views as yours??

Personally, political views are unimportant to establishing any type of relationship. I know that I can discuss any issue without causing a flare-up of tempers.

In a group setting, however, it is very rare that the group does not have a prohibition of two discussion topics, politics and religion. Those are, unfortunately, the two topics where differing opinions have the greatest tendency to progress from discussions to arguments to altercations, the later stages of which are unacceptable when the objective of the meeting is having a great sexual experience.

Best course of action? Unless you know the person to be rational and even-tempered, leave politics out of the mix.

Pappy

[darkeyes]

From a personal perspective, not normally.. but in the days wen me wos foot loose an fancy free always walked away from warmongers, hangers, racists, xenophobes, homophobes, male supremacists an the worst kind of freaky Holy Joes an assorted religious bigots.. the politics of sum peeps r just too much 2 bear..an occasionally found alla those ratha unpleasant traits all rolled up inta 1 person.. no ta.. such events meant fascists an worse need not apply...

[swmnkdinthervr]

Politics become an issue when it's important to the other person, if you have an issue with what my/our politics are we probably don't want to meet you. There would also be the case for someone we were considering for a long term friendship/relationship, in that case our politics should also coincide to avoid any unnecessary disagreements!

[Gearbox]

The only politics I'm interested in when picking a hookup are sexual ones.:bigrin:
1. Do you believe in being total passive with me?
2. Do you have ANY issues about kissing?
3. Do you cum in 5 mins and expect me to be ok with that?
4. Do you think I'm kidding when I say I don't bb?
etc etc etc.....
I couldn't give a flying fig about their views on abortion etc.:rolleyes:

If you mean 'Dating', then I couldn't give a toss about politics either. You either hit it off or you don't.;)

[Realist]

I had a male lover for over 10 years and we never once, that I can remember, discussed any political, racial, or religious issue.

When I read the OP's initial question, it struck me odd that we didn't have any conflicts, ever, during our whole relationship!

But, yes....I can't see where there could be a ruinous affect to any relationship, when passion and strong opposing dogma is revealed.

[darkeyes]

I had a male lover for over 10 years and we never once, that I can remember, discussed any political, racial, or religious issue.

When I read the OP's initial question, it struck me odd that we didn't have any conflicts, ever, during our whole relationship!

But, yes....I can't see where there could be a ruinous affect to any relationship, when passion and strong opposing dogma is revealed.

there are peeps of some persuasions which I could not bring meself to contemplate.. mostly, politics I can get along with peeps but certain things r too much to take.. I have mentioned them perviously.. there are time when we are so diametrically opposed to others and so vehement in our loathing of what they stand for having any kind of physical and even personal meaningful relationship with would be a step too far..

[jamieknyc]

Well, I *have* had sex with Republicans.....

[darkeyes]

Well, I *have* had sex with Republicans.....

Believe it or not Jamie.. so have I.. from Wisconson as it happens and he was very nice.. long time ago.. hope he is still nice and not nuts like mosta the 1s we see on telly..:tong:

..an have dallied wiv a few Tories in me time.. an as it happens the woman with whom I live is a bit of a wishy washy liberal but I wudnt have 'er ne otha way.. it makes 'er daft but it also makes 'er the nicest of the nice an the softest of the soft.. naggy nature notwithstandin.. tee hee.:tong:

[jamieknyc]

I am not a believer into making political or religious differences into personal animosity. I even used to be friends with a guy who was a Moonie.

[Katja]

I do understand those that say personal politics should not be an issue between a couple. I was brought up quite liberally yet married a man who was brought up in a very conservative household. When we married it did not matter to us what we thought politically. We accepted that each had a view which was not ours.

As time passed, the differences became more acute and we began to dispute each other's political opinions quite seriously, and increasingly with some anger and bitterness. There were other underlying reasons why this may have been so, but our separate political opinions did surface and play their part in the ending of the marriage. I do not believe this has to be the case and very often it is not. It does happen however, and people should not underestimate the potential and power of personal political and other beliefs to create difficulties in any marriage or relationship.

In respect of more short term casual affairs, the politics of each is rarely an issue and has never been for me. The experience of my marriage however leads me to conclude that that in my own case at least, for a longer term relationship to be successful, fundamental differences in our beliefs have to at least be considered and taken into account.

[fredtyg]

I do take my politics very seriously so it would be highly unlikely I'd establish any type of serious relationship lasting more than 15 minutes with someone whose politics were the opposite of mine.

It does make it rather awkward at times as I'm involved- at least online- with a number of LGBT type groups if only because of my support for positions on issues we might have in common; Same sex marriage, for instance. But I get a bit annoyed when I get invites and letters asking for support for candidates and issues I'm usually totally opposed to.

From what I've seen, the vast majority of LGBT types tend to hold pretty strong left wing/ authoritarian views, which obviously conflict with my views as a libertarian. Makes it a bit tough for me to socialize more than just superficially with most I've run into.

[Darkside2009]

Does a person's political views have anything to do with if you hookup with a person or not? With so much in the news, people so different, could you hook up with a person with totaly different views as yours??

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I think one would only find out they had different or opposing views, if one had known them for a while. The subject of politics doesn't normally crop-up on a first date. That said, I think there is more chance of a happy relationship if the two parties concerned share a similar outlook on life, and the same interests. I have never found this idea of opposites attracting to be a realistic prospect.

All too easily it can descend into huffing and sulking, banging doors and screaming obscenities at each other. I much prefer to play with the grown-ups these days and leave the drama on the stage, where it belongs.

[12voltman59]

I would have to say that the political views of someone I would be interested in having a very close relationship with would be very important-since it goes to show their overall world view, the way they view and interact with others--very important things of that nature----suffice to say---I really don't think I could be with someone who is a really hard core conservative type for so many reasons since I more or less, fall into the category of being a "liberal."

I do know of many couples who are an opposite ends in that regard--for those who know who they are--look at Mary Matlin and James Carville--they both worked for candidates and political campaigns of those on the left and right--with Carville having worked for Bill Clinton and Matlin worked for George HW and even G W Bush in a limited way---so if they could make it work--I guess it is possible--just for me--it would be pretty damn hard I think.

[DuckiesDarling]

I think is depends on what part of the politics you are talking about. Democrat vs Republican, no problem, as Volt posted we have some high profile political people who were on opposite sides during an election and still had a happy marriage.

If the politics were something about things you were passionate about like :Same sex marriage, abortion, immigration or any of the other major hot button topics then you might not be able to get past a first date but for the minor stuff. If we were all thinking alike then the world would be a very boring place now wouldn't it?

[void()]

Adamant on not voting here. Don't see where it serves any purpose. Have some common sense views but do not go out the way to shove those on others. Like others whom reciprocate. Prefer not to be political by choice if allowed.

If pressed I am a general Taoist Anarchist. Leaders ought to lead by example. And if countries have disputes, let leaders meet in a boxing ring, best two out of three and it is settled. Screw the idea of having armies go die for bullshit.

Just my humble way to see things. Does it matter in relationships? A good bit, yes. Wholly? No.

[bronco6666]

I am curious to know if most bisexuals lean towards a liberal outlook on life?

[12voltman59]

In the terms of this discussion----I have to clarify to say that I don't have a problem with the fact of someone being a Republican and I tend to vote Democratic---or that we might have some disagreements on certain issues---what I could not take would be someone who is in nearly all ways---a "social conservative" to the extreme and by this--I mean someone who things like racist, homophobic, xenophobic and other similar sorts of negative attributes of this sort---with them openly expressing tings like how much they "Cannot stand faggots, niggers, wet backs, towel heads, etc, etc."

I am really meaning someone's macro political/social views, outlooks, etc.

I do know plenty of people of this sort--I do call them friends to a degree and tolerate that they are the way they are and bite my tongue many times when they say such things--they probably--if they knew that I did 'faggot stuff"--would not be so accepting of me. They might be "friends" of a sort--but they sure could not be someone I could spend my life with.


Maybe I am a bit cowardly that I don't speak up more than I already do--but with those folks--I feel that it is probably pointless to try to speak up to counter them---since they have tended to harden themselves against any sort of criticism coming from a "godless, communist/socialist liberal., "

I really don't see the point in trying to challenge their world views on such things because you are not going to change their minds--I already do get into it with some of them over the fact I voted for "that one" back in 2008 and they know that my views are surely more liberal than are theirs on many issues.

I guess that I do stand up to them at times--ya just have to "choose your battles" and with many of them---we at least did get things to a point of "we agree that we disagree!"

The thing is too--most of the time---you are just casually getting together, having a cook out and having a few beers, so why just get everyone all pissed off at one another when you are not gonna change their view of things and they are not going to change yours????

[12voltman59]

I am curious to know if most bisexuals lean towards a liberal outlook on life?

When I first came here--I operated under the thought that this was so--but like learning a lot of other things about bisexuality--I learned that this is clearly not the case---we have people of all political and ideological persuasions here and I am sure that such is true with bisexuals at large.

[12voltman59]

I was thinking of my one response above and it did make me think go ask everyone some questions.

First---isn't it kind of shocking to you when you have someone in your circle of people that you like, think is an overall good person and such--but then they come up with some comment like say there is a incident on the news of a white police officer who shoots a black kid and the black community of the town is all fired up--then this person comments something like: "they ought to shoot all those jiggaboos" or something of this nature----I just use this as an example--the person could make a nasty anti-Semitic or homophobic comment as well.

Second---how do you tend to respond to such a situation as this with someone you are close to---do you go and stand up for whatever group your friend/relative obviously doesn't like or do you tend to be selective in what topics and areas you will counter this person or others in your life on??

I am just curious at how others deal with situations of this sort.

[void()]

I was thinking of my one response above and it did make me think go ask everyone some questions.

First---isn't it kind of shocking to you when you have someone in your circle of people that you like, think is an overall good person and such--but then they come up with some comment like say there is a incident on the news of a white police officer who shoots a black kid and the black community of the town is all fired up--then this person comments something like: "they ought to shoot all those jiggaboos" or something of this nature----I just use this as an example--the person could make a nasty anti-Semitic or homophobic comment as well.

Second---how do you tend to respond to such a situation as this with someone you are close to---do you go and stand up for whatever group your friend/relative obviously doesn't like or do you tend to be selective in what topics and areas you will counter this person or others in your life on??

I am just curious at how others deal with situations of this sort.

Silently. I may 'let it ride' once, everyone is human and granted a slip up. If it goes beyond a fudge, I consider that person to have burned a bridge. I will no longer hold fast loyalty to them as a friend. They may be considered acquaintance, someone granted polite civility in public yet afforded no quarter privately. In silence then they come to know, I am no longer their mate. My resolve is steel either way, as a mate or not. Others choose, not me. I grant three strikes and play fair save for intolerance, which merits two strikes on its own.