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View Full Version : Can't find any fully bi black couples (m/f both bi)



biblkman
Oct 27, 2011, 5:04 AM
Can anyone help us out? We played with a bi black couple twice...it was great, but things got complicated outside of the bedroom...when to hook up, who's not feeling who, miscommunication and such. most bi black couples are a bi f and staight male, we are open to all race's just cant seem to find a bi blk couple that fits just right, any suggestion' would help.

bityme
Oct 27, 2011, 1:09 PM
Can anyone help us out? We played with a bi black couple twice...it was great, but things got complicated outside of the bedroom...when to hook up, who's not feeling who, miscommunication and such. most bi black couples are a bi f and staight male, we are open to all race's just cant seem to find a bi blk couple that fits just right, any suggestion' would help.

Over the last 40 years, with two bi wives, I can only think of about 6 couples where both were also bi and we developed longer relationships with that were both social and sexual. They ranged from about 2 years to 6 years. By "social and sexual," I am referring to a relationship of friendship, doing things together regularly, family interaction, and activities not involved with or leading to a romp in the hay as well as those that do. I don't include those situations where you just meet for drinks or dinner and then move to the bedroom.

It is difficult enough to develop social relationships where you and your mate enjoy both of the partners in another couple. Adding to that the need for all four of you to be sexually compatible substantially reduces the success rate. The stricter the requirements, the harder it is to find a match.

My experience is that most couples who refer to themselves as a "Bi Couple" are those with a bi woman and straight man. Often, the man is actually bi, but the woman doesn't know. We are all subject to the conditioning of our respective generations.

It is very rare that I have met black couples where both were openly bi. I think that may be due primarily to two different factors. First, you are considering a smaller segment of society and second, male bisexuality appears to have less acceptance in black communities. There is a lot of it, but in my experience, black male bisexuals tend to be on the down low instead of being open to their women. I am sure that there is also an impact that the geographic location plays a part in too.

The ratio of different races seen on swinger web sites varies too. In California, it seems to be whites, hispanics, asians, and then blacks in terms of numbers. Certainly, the higher the number of swingers in a particular cross-section, the greater the the odds of finding a match.

I am a member of a group that is open to any race, orientation, body type, etc. While we appear to have a greater percentage of black members than most local groups, there are a lower percentage of bi black males than the percentage of bi white males.

The only suggestion I can give you is to get on as many of the swinger sites as you can and spend a lot of time doing searches and reading profiles. When you find that a couple seems to have possibilities, try and make contact. The greater the number of possibilities you have, the easier it is to keep your calendar full. The smaller the number of people you want to play with, the more difficult it is to set something up on a regular basis. Hopefully, we are all leading full lives, but that means that recreational sex is just one of the many things we like to do in addition to those we are obligated to do.

Good luck,

Pappy

biblkman
Oct 27, 2011, 7:41 PM
Thanks bityme, your post was very insightfull and informative, that's probably one of our bigest probblems...we need to broaden our range such as different sites as well as being more flexable with our requirements such as height, weight, age, but both being bi is something that will definitly be a requirement, the couple we mentioned in the original post...we are still friends with and chose to keep it that way, we had more social encounters together than sexual, but thanks agin for your insight

MrBisex
Oct 28, 2011, 1:00 PM
Have you tried a bisexual dating site such as http://bisexpartners.com?

drugstore cowboy
Oct 29, 2011, 9:15 PM
Why does it have to be a black couple? Most bisexual and gay black men are not out, are on the down low, and there are a lot of down low bisexual black women too.

If it was just about you having sex with a man I'd suggest meeting an out gay black man who is not on the DL but a gay black man is not going to want to have sex with you and with your girlfriend or have your GF be around when you and he have sex.

bityme
Oct 29, 2011, 10:49 PM
Why does it have to be a black couple? Most bisexual and gay black men are not out, are on the down low, and there are a lot of down low bisexual black women too.

If it was just about you having sex with a man I'd suggest meeting an out gay black man who is not on the DL but a gay black man is not going to want to have sex with you and with your girlfriend or have your GF be around when you and he have sex.

Hey drugstore,

When you read the original post, you may have missed that he stated that while open to all races, as a couple who are both bi, they found it hard to find another black couple where both are bi. I viewed it as expressing curiosity about a perceived between racial groups not a bitch about not finding the only thing he would settle for. I didn't take the OP to address any difficulty in finding a single black bi or gay man.

Personally, also being open to all races, I have found it curious that black couples who are both bi appear less often than with other races or bi-racial couples. It has also been my experience that there is no difference between the sexual enjoyment I have found that is based on the race of the parties.

On the other hand, (no disrespect intended if I violate someone's sense of political correctness), on the occasional opportunities I have had to meet with black couples it has been highly erotic to perceive myself as the vanilla in the Oreo.

Pappy

biblkman
Nov 1, 2011, 5:41 AM
Drugstore cowboy.... No offense but you assume to much. We know there are a lot of single DL bi black men...thats not what were looking for. You assume that wanting to be with a both bi black couple is soley for the purpose of m/m sex...wrong, as stated in original post trying to find both bi black couple, we enjoy m/f, f/f,m/m and an all out bi 4some. And as fare as .race we clearly stated we are open to all races, there are plenty of white and latino bi couples out here and when we want that, we have options, but when it comes to bi black couples our options are limited because they are hard to find. It gets frustrating when someone posts on a thread that they havent fully read or didnt understand. So reread the post and if you have some advice would like to hear it thanks