How To Solve This Dilemma...

[RavenEye]

Hello everyone!

I had an account here but couldn't remember the name. So no Welcomes necessary. :) I usually creep the forums and learn from my fellows even though I don't comment. Anyways on to my dilemma...
So this was this girl who I was really crazy about. Anyways I had to move to go start my life so I could live my dream! We had to say goodbye and it was hard. (We were just friends.) So we still talk and the other day we start talking and I finally told her how I felt and she said she sad now and she would have dated me! So now I'm really sad. There's no one else like her on this planet! We might meet each other in November and if not in December for sure. And I'm scared to because when I have to leave again it'll hurt more this time because we now have these feelings. And it's not like I can wait for her because she'll never come here. I don't think.... Anyways how should I deal with this? Normally I would ask some friends but I don't really have any since I moved... (Realist and LongDuckLong: I'm especially interested in what you guys have to say. You guys are always so wise. :p)

[Realist]

Hi, RE

My first thought was, how would I approach this situation?

Now, you know she has had similar thoughts about you. Before you meet again tell her your feelings, thoughts, and aspirations regarding your visit. Get her to open up about her outlook for the future, too. You have a little time to share these things before the the meeting. Be honest and up-front.

You were already friends and, in my opinion, friendship before anything else is a good thing. Don't overwhelm her with extraneous bull, don't be too anxious and don't think there's more, if there's not a solid indication of more.

And last, It's obvious that you're very interested in this meeting, but this is a time to review how you truly feel. When you meet, don't put on a different face than your real one. I mean, be yourself....if she is going to want to be with you, care for you, love you, it must be because she sees the REAL you. Don't mold yourself into who you THINK she would like.

Good luck and thanks for the confidence. Ultimately, only you know what is right for you. How this meeting turns out may be the beginning of a new and hopefully fulfilling era in your life.

I hope it goes well!

[DuckiesDarling]

Realist had some great advice as always, but I would also want you to ask yourself "is she saying this now because it's safe for her to do so?" I bring that up because you mentioned that there was no way she could come to where you are now and you moved to get your life started. You are starting your life and looking in the rear view mirror, hon. Friends are the most precious thing in the world and whathavebeens are the most heartbreaking thing that will always haunt you. So if you do meet, I hope that you can talk about things rationally with her and the realism of long distance relationships and the possibility that in the future she could come where you made a new life, but there is always the other side where you remain friends who could have been more "if only", we all have them and sometimes it sucks, sometimes it makes you smile, but they are there.

I wish you the best of luck.

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Welcome Back Darlin...whoever you are, and welcome to Washington state.. :}
Cat
Everybodys feline..;)

[Long Duck Dong]

I ten to concur with realist...... its easy to make rash spur of the moment statements that are emotional fueled.... you are on the phone talking and you blurp out that you want to move back to the town to be with her etc etc.....

so you have some time to calm your nerves, let things unfold naturally, and grow or ease as they need to...... it is possible that revealing your feelings to each other, may well change how you both feel, for better or worse..... but there is always the chance that it can become a relationship that grow and florishes ....

for me, what began as a casual conversation in a online gaming site, become a good friendship and then lead to a beautiful lady spending 3 months with me.... and we have grown from strength to strength every day..... yet she is in the NZ and I am in NZ.....

people say that long distance relationships do not work... but it depends on what people want out of relations as to if they can work or not...... and at this stage, you have the distance between you both, to use to your advantage, to talk, share, listen and love....... something that we often do not do as much when we are in the same bed together.......

so its a positive start to your future relations with this person... use it wisely..... talk with them and learn about them and yourself.... and when you both are together, you will be all the better for it

[Long Duck Dong]

that should be she is in the US, I am in NZ lol

[RavenEye]

I guess I'll just stay friends for now. And let the cards fall were they may. Besides I do want to start dating a Bi girl and start having some awesome swinging parties!! :D Gotta empower my youth! ;)

[RavenEye]

Oh and Cherokee. Thank you! I'm actually from Washington. My dad just moved me away when I was 13; This was always home. So I moved back. :)