Is Everyone Basically Bisexual?

[Diva667]

Here's an article that sums up just how I feel on this topic-



I’m sure you’ve heard this before: “Everyone is basically bisexual.” It’s something a lot of bi activists used to say a lot, and that some bi activists still say. I used to say it myself, back in my mis-spent youth. (And yes, my mis-spent youth was basically bisexual.)

Is it true?

My simple answer: No.

My somewhat more complex and nuanced answer: It depends somewhat on how you define your terms. But if you define your terms in any useful or commonly-understood way… then no.

If you define sexual orientation purely on the basis of physical sexual attraction — and if you define “bisexual” as “having any physical sexual attraction whatsoever to both women and men ever in your life” — then okay, yes, I think most people probably fit that definition. Not all, but most. People on the absolute far ends of the Kinsey scale, people with absolutely zero sexual attraction to the same sex or the opposite sex ever in their lives, do seem to be fairly rare.

But that’s not a very useful definition of “bisexual.”

http://freethoughtblogs.com/greta/2011/09/28/is-everyone-basically-bisexual/

[softfruit]

"I think everyone's bisexual really" is a fabulous phrase that allows the speaker to thereafter do nothing about any kind of biphobia or recognising of bisexuality, on account of if everyone is bi then there can clearly be no discrimination against bis.

Or sometimes just means the speaker is feeling remarkably optimistic about their chances of pulling tonight :D

[Gearbox]

I admittedly have the belief that everybody has the potential to be bisexual. Or have the ability to unlock their bisexuality given the right incentives.

I remember an interview with 'pop legend' Shaking Stevens in which he claimed that he had no sexual attraction to other men, except for Elvis.
That maybe the same kind of thing were female fans of physically 'unattractive' pop/rock stars throw themselves at them sexually due to the connection the feel with them?
Who'd fuck Mick Jagger if he was just an office clerk?:rolleyes:

I really don't know. But it's possible (I think).

[Jobelorocks]

I don't think that everyone is bisexual, but I think most have probably had sexual thoughts about each gender at some point in their lives.

[Realist]

I've known a few, who I am positive they would never be encouraged to have a same-sex thought in their heads.

Have to admit I don't have the best bidar, though.

[pepperjack]

Here's an article that sums up just how I feel on this topic-




http://freethoughtblogs.com/greta/2011/09/28/is-everyone-basically-bisexual/

we're all bisexual during the first 6 weeks in the womb.

[BiDaveDtown]

I also do not believe that everyone is somehow really bisexual.

My wife is hetero and has never wanted to have sex with a woman or had sexual attraction to the same gender at all.

[pepperjack]

I also do not believe that everyone is somehow really bisexual.

My wife is hetero and has never wanted to have sex with a woman or had sexual attraction to the same gender at all.

You have no idea how many secretly bi men I've encountered who have told me the wife or gf doesn't have a clue, so how can u be so sure about what's going on in her mind?

[Cogent]

The question is far too simplistic

Men in prison who would otherwise be straight have sex with each other... it's the only game in town

Emotional orientation is different than the need for gratification.

Men may have a stronger sex drive than women... but that's not totally clear

Remove social conditioning and values... or make sex with anyone (of the age of consent) a positive thing and the "level" of same sex events will likely increase

Remove access to the opposite sex, and I am sure the frequency of same sex events will increase.

Does this mean that people are bisexual? I think that it doesn't if we attribute emotional connections to the concept of bisexuality beyond physical gratification.

However, it is very difficult to remove or negate all the conditioning that helps form our emotional/sexual attachments. So to that extent I doubt it's meaningful to say we are all bisexual. Some of us have a greater propensity to have sex with other people the same gender.

PLus, I think sexual orientation can change over life. In kids just discovering their sexuality... they often hang out with their own gender... discussions and explorations may flow in that context that are repudiated or left behind latter as they have more mature encounters with opposite sex.

[pepperjack]

The question is far too simplistic

Men in prison who would otherwise be straight have sex with each other... it's the only game in town

Emotional orientation is different than the need for gratification.

Men may have a stronger sex drive than women... but that's not totally clear

Remove social conditioning and values... or make sex with anyone (of the age of consent) a positive thing and the "level" of same sex events will likely increase

Remove access to the opposite sex, and I am sure the frequency of same sex events will increase.

Does this mean that people are bisexual? I think that it doesn't if we attribute emotional connections to the concept of bisexuality beyond physical gratification.

However, it is very difficult to remove or negate all the conditioning that helps form our emotional/sexual attachments. So to that extent I doubt it's meaningful to say we are all bisexual. Some of us have a greater propensity to have sex with other people the same gender.

PLus, I think sexual orientation can change over life. In kids just discovering their sexuality... they often hang out with their own gender... discussions and explorations may flow in that context that are repudiated or left behind latter as they have more mature encounters with opposite sex.

Interesting; u're echoeing what Desmond Moriss wrote in The Naked Ape.

[Annika L]

The question is far too simplistic

Men in prison who would otherwise be straight have sex with each other... it's the only game in town

Emotional orientation is different than the need for gratification.

I'm not sure the question needs to be changed or complexified...I just think we need to understand what sexual orientation is and isn't about.

Yes, some/many straight men in prison have sex with other men, perhaps because as you say, it's the only game in town. Does that mean that they are sexually attracted to those men? While they're doing it, are they fantasizing about women? Are they just getting off on the power relationship? (i.e., is it a sexual act at all to them, or more akin to rape, an act of violence and domination?) Are they seeking out just the guys they find attractive to have sex with? Or is there no such evaluation in their minds...they just want physical release...an act akin to masturbation (maybe with a power element to it)?

I'm sure some of the incarcerated discover in prison that they are in fact bisexual. But I would guess that most inmates are engaged in one or more of these other activities, and this isn't about sexual attraction at all for them. And if there was another game in town, they'd be there in a heartbeat.

Let's remember that just because a generally straight person has sex with someone of the same sex, that doesn't make them bisexual. Or because someone would engage in that experiment, out of curiosity or desperation, that doesn't automatically make them bi either, since they could try it and decide it's not for them (now...if you try it again...and again, just to see...and then again...just to see if it's still the same...and again...then I personally get skeptical about what's really going on).

But if you're a man in prison, engaging in power/domination relationships or acts of violence, or simply physical release with the closest thing to a vagina you can find (especially while pretending it's a woman you're with), then I see no real evidence that you're actually bisexual.

I guess in a nutshell, I find the "prison argument" to be rather confounding, since so much more is going on than generally meets the eye.

[tenni]

I think that the boat has not yet arrived on this question. There is evidence that there may be more people willing/interested in same sex experiences if the social taboo is removed.

In prisons, there may be lots of reasons why same sex activity happens. In a "personal study" :tong: with far too small a sample, I discovered that my "subject" was introduced to same sex while in prison. When he came out he reverted to an opposite sex attraction and married. Years passed but the interest in same sex activity came back full force. Whether he was a bisexual before prison, he said no he was not. Whether it was merely suppressed he didn't believe so. Had he become bisexual from his prison time (about five years as i recall) don't know?

I think that it is unwise for bisexuals to think promote the concept that all people are bisexual just as (some) gay people's belief that bisexuals are just gay in denial. Who really knows? If you give me funding, I might be able to continue my research.... contact whynot@qmail.com. Cheques may be made out to Sucker and Suckee.:bigrin:;)

[DuckiesDarling]

I don't think that everyone is bisexual. I'm not. I will admit that my partner and i have had some conversations about trying some things but it doesn't make me any less hetero.


The concept of prison rape should be dealt with as it is, rape. It's about power and dominion. It's about control of someone weaker than you or risk being controlled by someone else. Are there a few who actually seek contact like that for comfort? Yes. But the majority of people who experience prison rape are not bisexual and are not converted by being forced to do something to survive. There are many many stories about prison rape out there on the net and the brave men and women who are coming forward with their stories so that others may be spared the experience through better correctional guidelines.

[rdy2go]

Wouldn't it depend on whose definition of bi you use to determine this. For instance I am straight, but I have from time to time wondered what it would be like to have a sexual encounter with a man, but I have no intention of doing it. Does that make me bi... nope. But some might say it does. Most straight people likely do wonder, but thats all it is, wonder.

On the other hand, what about the person who is curious, and actually does have a same sex encounter. Does just the sex act, being done solely out of curiosity, alone make that person bi... probably not, but some would say it does.

I dunno, to many variables in place to make such a bold statement as that.
:2cents:

[Diva667]

From the article...


So again, I think most people would agree: Having the occasional passing attraction to, or even experience with, both the opposite sex and the same sex… this does not make you bisexual.

For most people who self-identify as bisexual, what makes us bisexual seems to have more to do with the fact that these attractions and experiences are not trivial. They matter to us. They’ve shaped our lives. They’ve shaped how we see gender. They include relationships and people in our sexual histories that are important to us, and that we don’t want to dismiss. They’re an important part of how we see ourselves, and how we relate to the world. Or any combination of some or all of the above.

Interesting how most people have come to this conclusion. And I think that words "trivial" and "important" are highly personal. In other words I think only the person themselves can say whether it was "important" or "trivial".

[DoctorAtrocity]

I dislike the notion that "everybody is basically bisexual". I don't like it when people who don't know me tell me who I am, and so I don't tell others who they are either.

Also, this sort of mindset came from a part - only a part, mind you - of the gay community. For some gays, they see everybody else as gay, or find gay metaphor and symbolism where it was never intended. Now, while they are correct that gay themes and ideas are found in literature and art and life more often than commonly supposed, they are wrong that it is all pervasive.

So when bisexuals turn around and do the same thing, I find that I must object. And, I must also note the irony insofar as some gays - again, only some mind you - contend that bisexuals don't really exist; that we are people who are either hetero or homo but above all indecisive. This notion is delightfully satired in the wonderful little cartoon on YouTube, "The Bizarre World of the Bisexual" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t-4w6NqfLAc).

In the end, my preference is to let people figure out who they are, and declare it publicly or not as they see fit. Trying to stick everybody under one label or another, without their say-so, is wrong. Respect other people for who they are, and let them sort these things out for themselves. This includes those who are gay or bisexual or transgender or whatever, but who refuse to admit this to others and even to themselves. Let it be.