How do i know?

[Confused!]

Where to start, okay well as my name suggests i'm confused, i think i may be bisexual but how can i be sure?. I'm 24 and female and though it is embarasing for me to say this i have never had a realtionship with either sex for various reasons, but i find both men and women attractive i was once in love with a woman but to scared to tell her how i felt. I have no one i can talk about this with and i am just so confused! And i don't know how i would tell my family either. How do i know for sure what i am???

[Long Duck Dong]

start by taking a beep breath and relaxing...... then another one......

now, my dear, what is your understanding of being bisexual.... as that is the first issue that most people have, they look for a defination of being bisexual......

being bisexual means that you can be mentally / emotionally / sexually attractive to both genders in varied degrees.... and to do not have to * fit a mold * as your sexuality is unique to you..... and so only you can decide if you are bisexual or not, we can say yes or no, but we are not you, and its you that gets to say what you are......

it doesn't matter if you have sexual with both genders or not, thats not a criteria for being bisexual..... generally the attraction to both genders is something that is common amongst bisexuals..... and being that you have acknowledged that you are attracted to both genders, its a fair indication that you may well be a emotional / mental bisexual, and the sexual aspect is something that will happen later on for you.....

bisexual people do not have to be in relationships with both genders, to be bisexual, they do not have to be in relationships at all, or they could have one relationship with on gender and a interest in the other..... its more confusing then ordering in a chinese takeaways where the menu id in chinese and you can only read english lol......

so your first hurdle is not finding the label that is best for you, but finding how you best relate to each gender and then see how you feel about refering to yourself as bisexual...... and that is why its not a good idea to come out as a bisexual if you are unsure thats how you want to be seen as .....

[Jobelorocks]

I agree with Long Duck Dong. Sexuality is something that is very personal and no one can tell you what you are. You have to figure it out for yourself. That being said, I would suggest you do some research on sexualities. Bisexuality is a very broad sexuality and can mean very different things to different people. You can be attracted to each gender in different ways, different degrees, you can be monogamous, poly-amorous, a swinger, celibate, ect. there are so many different options of lifestyle.

Don't believe the stereotypes. Bisexuals are diverse. We aren't all horndogs, most of us won't have sex with anyone and everyone who is available, female bisexuals aren't necessarily doing it to impress or please men, bisexuality is not a "phase"... it is a legitimate and mostly life-long sexuality, ect. ect. ect..... Bisexual just means you are attracted to both genders whether it be romantically, sexually, or both. That is it.

[BiBedBud]

Confused!, sweetie,

I hear that you are stressed-out about your confusion, and I understand your need to feel more settled about this ambiguity, but that's the wrong attitude, IMHO.

Don't approach this as a problem in need of a solution. Relax a little bit (ok, a lot). Don't heap more stress on yourself, and don't try to climb that hurdle with your family, until you're more certain.

Do some experimenting. Date.... flirt..... see where that leads you........ find out what you like.......... then try some more exploration........... push your boundaries........ learn about yourself.

Approach it as a fun-filled journey, not as a problem in need of a solution.:2cents:

[Wolf_Sr]

Hi, you are much better than many of us here that only too late decided to tackle the situation. Your sexuality is your gift, there is nothing shameful on it, accept it as gift not as a burden. Enjoy it, you will find people like you here and around you.

[Gearbox]

You could try kissing both genders.;)
Don't need to have full on sex to see what your body tells you about a person. (It's more fun! But not vital.lol).

As Bibedbud puts it so positively - enjoy learning about yourself.:)

[centillini]

i know and understand where to come from. I felt confused for longtime. I love a lady, all about here, feel, smell, texture, taste, but I realized I also like to feel a guys cock once and while, so accept that you are Bi and all is well.

[elian]

Hmm, being bisexual was very confusing for me at first because I didn't really know what bisexual was. I really thought that I MUST be either gay or straight. I found that when I concentrated on men I liked men. I would also look at women and find some women attractive as well. All I felt was confusion because I thought i had to be one or the other.

I think the kiss idea may be a good one if you can do it in a safe environment. Not everyone LIKES kissing or being kissed but if you do find someone you are attracted to and you do like it, then it's probably a good indication.

Also expressed here was the idea that there are different kinds of love - there is romantic, emotional love, there is physical desire.. Nature isn't black and white - but shades of gray and although I'm preaching to the choir I think most people aren't either. At the very least some straight people will admit that other members of the same sex are "attractive".

Having feelings of love toward same sex is not always easy but it is not something to feel shame about. The way I choose to view it is that the world is full of people who feel unloved; bisexual people can love anyone, regardless of what is between the legs. A person could also view that in reverse, if you are feeling unloved or unworthy maybe it's natural to want to seek out a same sex person to mentor and love you. I don't think there is any shame in that.

[BiDaveDtown]

It's all about who you're sexually attracted to.

If you're sexually attracted to only the same gender then you're lesbian.

If you're sexually attracted to only the opposite gender then you're hetero/straight.

If you're sexually attracted to both genders then you're bisexual.

You can still be a virgin like you wrote about and still have a sexuality.

[41 6c 79]

I'm guessing you already know and need to figure out what it is you know.
Try to be honest with yourself even if you don't like the answer.

I never understood why it was wrong, and that caused confusion.