Bi Males Need Not Appply

[randy1]

As a swinger I've seen many ads by couples/females that ask that bi males not respond. Does anyone know if this is mainly based on fear of disease, concern the bi male will hit on the other male or both? Most ads that look for females say that being bi is a plus. Again the old double standard.
One reason I've kept my bi desires secret for so long is that there are comparitively few couples/females that are bi male friendly.

[NjbiGuy01]

Yeah, it's a bit weird. I think there is a bi or gay paranoia out there. I have played it straight in the past, and don't mind, Although I prefer bi, it's not like I'd force it on anyone.....the other irony is guys listing themselves as straight, then e-mailing and saying "they are bi, but would rather not put it out there.. "
Takes all kinds I guess.:bigrin:

[Jobelorocks]

Well on a swing site, my profile says for males not to apply, but that is mainly because we get bombarded by single males. So we do all the contacting to specific males if we want to get together with them.

[goldenfinger]

I read the rules for a few swingers clubs which welcome bi women but not bi or gay men, or they have one night a week for bi or gay men, but if you hook up with a bi couple, you could always go elsewhere to do the dirty deed,:bigrin:

[wanderingrichard]

pure and simple it's mostly when you find a controlling homophobe in the couple who feels that a bi man threatens his masculinity, but he wants his little fantasy world of two women at the same time to shore up his insecurities.

been swinging, Cat will tell you, see this all the time in that world.

being bi, single and early middle age, always tossed it back in their faces when the profile screamed " No single men, No Bi men" then they came emailing me some time later about getting together.

don't waste your time with those types. if you have a good swingers group thats very welcoming and open, such as the one outside Seattle, you'll have plenty new friends once they get to know you.

[Long Duck Dong]

it reminds me of a thread in another forum and this one was talking about how single males were excluded en masse from swingers groups, and one of the co ordinators of a swingers group said that they have 7 applications from women, 9 from couples, and close to 200 from single / bi males... and that they were tired of dealing with single / bi males that wanted sex with the other females, yet brought nothing to the party.....

I was curious and asked why single / bi ladies were allowed, but not single / bi males.... and the answer was attitude towards the other people, the ladies had the right of choice with whom they coupled with, but often males had a sense of entitlement and regarded the women as there for the males pleasure....

so out of curious, I got involved in helping to run a couple of swingers groups, as a doorman and barman, and strictly hands off, ( thanks again to the people that helped with that job and role ).... and yeah I tended to notice that there were bi guys with partners that went to the swingers groups and kept it strictly by the rules, and that often they hooked up with some of the couples in private settings outside of the group.....

the thing that got my attention, was that there were single females and couples that stated they did not want to be involved with female on female action either..... and not once were they called homophobic, it was simply accepted that it was not their thing......

strangely enuf, I am seeing the same thing in this thread, the remarks about males being homophobic, but not females, and no mention of females or couples that do not want female on female action, or how they are homophobic......

[bityme]

There are even single male problems in bi-friendly communities. There are complaints from bi couples who say that single males will claim they are bi just to get access to the female. When it comes to bi play, they might lick a dick, but never really get into it.

Sites like SwingLifeStyle are bi-friendly, but they give the members the option to block communication from and viewing of their profiles by single males.

Fortunately, I was able to find a local bi-friendly group that instead of the normal ratio that puts women as the majority in attendance, the owner has a ratio of 3 men per lady. Her philosophy is that there will be some bi play with the men and most of the women members really enjoy sex, and a lot of it. Most of them can wear out 2, 3, or more guys during a party. Since the men have a longer recovery time, more men are needed. Gotta love that lady!

Pappy

[ErosUrge]

There are even single male problems in bi-friendly communities. There are complaints from bi couples who say that single males will claim they are bi just to get access to the female. When it comes to bi play, they might lick a dick, but never really get into it.

Sites like SwingLifeStyle are bi-friendly, but they give the members the option to block communication from and viewing of their profiles by single males.

Fortunately, I was able to find a local bi-friendly group that instead of the normal ratio that puts women as the majority in attendance, the owner has a ratio of 3 men per lady. Her philosophy is that there will be some bi play with the men and most of the women members really enjoy sex, and a lot of it. Most of them can wear out 2, 3, or more guys during a party. Since the men have a longer recovery time, more men are needed. Gotta love that lady!

Pappy

Yes, whenever I have connected with certain couples, they would tell me the same thing...that too often the single males would say they were bi but when the time came to play, they would only interract with the woman. So because of this, they would make absolutely sure each time that the men were bi.
I too became part of a local bi community but the ratio of men and women was pretty much equal. They have mostly couples; married or committed with some single females and males....I've been with them for 5 years now and it's been a very accepting environment. Everyone is open to everyone whether male or female.....
To finish I would have to say I understand the frustration. It's mainly for this reason and some others that I discontinued my paid membership to a very well known adult site. It was very tiring seeing either bi couples or single bi women saying that if you're bi male, don't bother...it is what it is.....

[NeonSwing]

Thank you for sharing your thoughts. Beyond the swinging scene I have encountered this in dating; I recently went out on a fourth date with a woman who had freely told me about her bisexual disposition during our previous three dates. During that fourth date, and into the second bottle of wine, she suggested that this was the date to take an intimate step forward and suggested we go to a local swingers club (the Red Rooster), play with each other, and then seek a couple with a bi girl yo play with. I then took the moment to reveal that I too was bisexual, and perhaps we'd be really luck and find a couple that we could all play with each other....

She got a sobering blank look on her face and spoke little after that. After an awkward silence, she gave me many excuses for her change of heart: male to male isn't sexy; it isn't natural, like girl on girl; that real swinging didn't include that; and lastly, just as I dropped her at her home, it just was repulsive to think of two guys pleasuring one another.

So, ok for us girls, not okay for you guys.....? I suppose the old saying of what is good for the goose is good for the gander doesnt apply.

While I'm glad that I didn't invest more time developing a relationship with her, it is discouraging that she isn't the first bisexual woman who has expressed something similar.

But than, maybe that is just my experience.

[JP1986UM]

Neon, I'd have left her ass at a curb and told ehr to call a fvckin cab home.

Sorry, I love my wife and am very fortunate that she finds gay sex a turn on, but even if she didn't, it wouldn't have stopped me eventually finding a CLR or playmate.

We've discussed swinging, but she has a little apprehension with it.

[orallybi4cpl]

the problem is society putting up with these attitudes
about men who can share the pleasures with a woman...

back in the 80s it was a plus if a man was bi.. many couples
discreetly love it.. especially the women

my x gf loved that I sucked cock and was very good at it too
'naturally'

it turned her on.. and she loved that I shared that private part of my life
with her.

I'd love to have a relationship or even a marriage to a woman like that
in my life.

As for swinging.. well I enjoy the lifestyle.. and couples who have met
me know I'm very oral and respect their relationship.

Nice to see this very true topic here.

I find it interesting how many gay people are here instead of bi

but then that's another topic.

:)

[Gearbox]

I have a close female bi friend that has said many times that she loves our gay friend, but two men having sex is disgusting and turns her stomach.:eek:
(I'm not out to her. Wont be any time soon either.)

@Neonswing - You must be a really nice bloke!:)

[binyc123]

seriously, there are men that arent bi that will be with bi couples, even lick a dick just to get with a woman. lol, think there would be an easier way for them than that. wow.

[liberty96]

I certainly agree with everyone so far. It is tough out there. It is a double slam when you would assume these clubs and people would be a bit more open minded. Much of it is from guys not being comfortable with themselves. I know. I was once like that. The bi or gay paranoia is almost all focused towards men. As I have found out it is better to be forward with the truth then let it catch up to you later. The amount of guys seeking couples is also a problem of over suppl and under demand. I find a friendly couple and strive to maintain friendships. Hugs to all! :three:

[vincentfloyd]

I haven't had any luck with people open to me being a bi male. I just have accepted it