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perplexxed
May 20, 2006, 5:48 PM
I have a neighbour of which I have gotten to know over the past year. We have become good friends and every couple of months we gettogether to go out on the town. About a month ago; we decided to go out and ended up going to a GLBT Nightclub. I took her there once before and she was a bit overwhelmed with the "Senery". Anyways, there were a lot of gay guys there making out and dancing and two women off in the corner dancing as well. I pointed out the two women and said how hot they looked together. My friend agreed as well. So we left and was heading towards the pizza pizza place down the street. She asked me if the next time that we went out if I minded if we danced together like the two women in the club. I said no I don't mind at all. I was a bit shocked by her asking me cause I didn't realize that she was bi. So we discussed a lot of things that night about her past and my curiousity with being with a woman. BUT NOTHING REALLY MATERIALIZED from the conversation. She told me that her husband has no idea of her past and she wasn't sure how he would take the news if she told him. I suggested that they rented a porno and while there were two women there making out; that would be the perfect time to find out what he thought of that. Then go from there to tell him that she was into women as well. She just listened and then we left and went home. She said that SHE WOULD HAVE TO GET BACK TO ME about our discussion later on. So I said ok and that was that.
Now; we have just went out again for a girls night out, and went to see the Chippendales show. Then after the show we went to another bar just around the corner from the GLBT bar. We had a good night there, BUT all the time that I was there, I was wondering why she chose that bar instead of the gay bar. So I asked her why we didn't go there and she said she was tired of the "Senery" at the gay bar and wanted more interesting "Senery" at this one. So I appologised to her and said that I hope that I didn't offend her by taking her to that gay bar the last time. She said no it didn't offend her. But I know for a fact that she didn't like seeing the gay guys there making out.
Anyways, so I asked her if she was avoiding the other place because of our last discussion that we had that night, she said no.
So , I am still wondering what is going on here?? I feel like she is trying to avoid talking to me about the whole "bi" issue and our discussion that night. She has NOT GOTTEN back to me about anything that way. I realize that it is up to her to tell her hubby her past and I RESPECT her wishes, BUT I feel that THINGS HAVE BEEN LEFT UP IN THE AIR and she doesn't either want to talk about anything anymore (cause she is not interested), or she just doesn't has the guts to tell her hubby. I feel he knows more that he letting on, becasue of the off handed remarks that BOTH OF OUR HUBBYS MAKE TO EACH OTHER when we get together to visit each other.
What do I do??? I feel an attraction towards her and sometimes I feel she has one for me, BUT I AM NOT SURE. I want to tell her that I am interested in her that way, but don't wanna pressure her into anything. I don't wanna lose our friendship either. So I am left feeling confused and wanting some sort of resolution.
If anyone can give me some good advice?????

rayosytruenos
May 20, 2006, 6:08 PM
Hi, I would let her think about it at her own pace. Not everyone makes decisions at the same speed, so I would try not to put any pressure on her. Probably when she is ready, and IF she is ready and likes you that way, then she would say something to you.

I just would try to keep being a good friend to her, and not hurrying things. Things will come at their due time, but just if they should...

I hope this can be helpful.

All the best,

ray :male:

innaminka
May 20, 2006, 6:54 PM
You've got a good friend there..... why don't you just be satisfied with that?

Good friends are hard to come by.

If the friendship is to develop into something else (which maybe you would like, I suspect) the ball is totally in her court now. Meanwhile, just be a good friend.

codybear3
May 20, 2006, 11:07 PM
...Or she may have already brought it up to her husband and perhaps it did not go down too good...Either way, give her the space she needs to take the next step at her own pace...In the mean time, value the friendship and don't do anything that might cause your friendship to dissolve... :paw: :paw:

Long Duck Dong
May 21, 2006, 7:13 AM
grins....lol

ok and please don't ask how i know this

but its a case of she wants ya friendship and is worried that anything further would wreck ya friendship

the part you are not aware of, is the fact she did tell her hubby... a lil too much...and he liked the idea of you and her together...and her and any other female together.... thats not her scene tho

shes a genuine person....but doesn't wanna become part of a meat market for her hubbies delight and pleasure

some aspects of what is going on ...you may never be told.....but don't pressure her... just be a friend and by about august you will start to see just what is actually going on behind the scenes..... and beleive me... their marriage is not as rosy as some people may think

perplexxed
May 21, 2006, 10:59 AM
K- Long Duck Dong; first off I just wanna say that NO ONE KNOWS THE FUTURE.
I appreciate your opinions about my situation, however I feel that if there is a problem with their marriage--it is between them to work it out. You know what I am going to say...........I WILL NOT COME BETWEEN THEIR MARRIAGE. I agree with the fact that her hubby knows more than he is letting on and probably does want to see us two "get it on". It is totally up to her now to make the next move.......if she wants to. I agree with everyone........I will continue to be a good friend to her.